Bad Fascination
Title: Bad Fascination
Series: Bleach
Parings/Characters: Yumi & Ikkaku
Ratings/Warnings: PG-13. Strong language and implied situations within.
Notes: An old one from my FF.net account.
Summary: Ikkaku thinks that some things are just much more fascinating than a game of questions.
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The world constantly speculates about their relationship. Every friggin minute of every friggin day of for-friggin-ever. It's like no one ever has anything better to do!
Which is a lie, of course, and Ikkaku knows that because he can't find anything more boring to be fascinated by than his relationship with Yumichika. There are tons upon tons of things better to be fascinated by other than their relationship! Rangiku's breasts, fighting, drinking, Yachiru's inability to count past thirty yet ability to rack up twice those numbers of casualties in less than half the amount of time, fighting, drinking, breasts in general, more fighting and a field of fuckin' daisies is even more interesting than his relationship with the sparkling, chatty Fifth Seat of the Eleventh Division.
Unfortunately, no one else seems to be of the same opinion except for Yachiru and maybe Kuchiki-taichou, but that frilly bastard has a stick so far up his ass he can't even see straight, let alone find a decent hobby.
For the record, Ikkaku thinks that calligraphy is beyond stupid. You can't fight with calligraphy! No matter what Kurosaki's ninja manga suggests... Sure, you might be able to eloquently - and he can't even believe he knows that word! Ikkaku is sure it's Yumi's fault! - challenge them to a fight, but you can do the same thing with a good shout and well placed insult with a much, much better effect.
So, when Ikkaku is faced with questions like "How close are you?" or "Have you ever slept together?" or even "Who tops?" pertaining to his relationship with the sparkly bastard all he can say is,
"Don't you have anything better to do?"
- which usually would of come out as,
"None of your frickin' business!" or "Shit! What th' hell is wrong with ya!"
- because, it's just getting a little bit too old to keep denying everything that everyone says when he could be fighting or drinking or hell, sleeping, instead. Especially when that everyone is Yumichika himself.
Damned sparkly, talkative bastard.
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