Three Shades of Irritated
Haven't ranted in a bit, so here's some of
Every computer that has MS word in the learning lab is full, thus not allowing me to work on a paper due thursday. While I will be able to finish the paper tomorrow, I'll have to get up early to really get a jump on all the information. Fuck.
A bit of semester work piling up...not only do I have to finish the science study guide this week (not hard, just long), but I have 10 reviews/responses to write on NY Times articles that I should have saved. Again, not hard, just a bit of a pain to compound this mental change from "I'm doing hygiene" to "I'm doing nursing." It can feel a bit like slow going, which makes me think I'm sometimes trying to live life too fast. It's really a re-evaluation of the already fictional life timeline. Life is long if you know how do use it, but I always thought it that people getting their masters and PhD's were doing so in their late 20's.
All this is a verbalization of my efforts to find the seed that drives my training and find a similar seed to drive my schoolwork. While I could care about physical inadaquacy enough when I was younger to still be spurred on by it today, I never felt mentally deficient. That's the rub, I suppose: those who are idiots don't always know it. I could have been hiding such truths from myself, which is a strange duality because I know and have said that brains are nothing unless you use them, and I love that I've felt new stimulation from guitar and school. I need to get high on that, become a junkie to it somehow. I mean, I can get up at 4:30 to train, keep a super clean diet in spite of huge temptation, and do all of those things needed to get in "great" shape, but how do I direct that toward schooling? That's the curious dilemma...I'll figure it out.
It's strange how when I get a little lonely, I think back to my double-x girlfriend. Remember the words of Meris: "Just fucking stop." Truer words, never spoken.
Clearly I'm flying high on ephedrine, so my fingers are just flying; I was hoping to direct this at my work but alas I can only direct it at all of you in LJ-land. I guess I'll be dosing up tomorrow, because I know for damn sure ephedrine + L-tyrosine gives me motivation like nobody's business. I could also cook it back to L-meth, which is worthless for getting high, in case anyone is wondering. Ephedrine + Chocamine + L-Tyrosine when I need to work will be my future super-bueno stack of choice. I'll have nootropics when I need to edit. Using my chem knowledge to get through school? Yep.
Every computer that has MS word in the learning lab is full, thus not allowing me to work on a paper due thursday. While I will be able to finish the paper tomorrow, I'll have to get up early to really get a jump on all the information. Fuck.
A bit of semester work piling up...not only do I have to finish the science study guide this week (not hard, just long), but I have 10 reviews/responses to write on NY Times articles that I should have saved. Again, not hard, just a bit of a pain to compound this mental change from "I'm doing hygiene" to "I'm doing nursing." It can feel a bit like slow going, which makes me think I'm sometimes trying to live life too fast. It's really a re-evaluation of the already fictional life timeline. Life is long if you know how do use it, but I always thought it that people getting their masters and PhD's were doing so in their late 20's.
All this is a verbalization of my efforts to find the seed that drives my training and find a similar seed to drive my schoolwork. While I could care about physical inadaquacy enough when I was younger to still be spurred on by it today, I never felt mentally deficient. That's the rub, I suppose: those who are idiots don't always know it. I could have been hiding such truths from myself, which is a strange duality because I know and have said that brains are nothing unless you use them, and I love that I've felt new stimulation from guitar and school. I need to get high on that, become a junkie to it somehow. I mean, I can get up at 4:30 to train, keep a super clean diet in spite of huge temptation, and do all of those things needed to get in "great" shape, but how do I direct that toward schooling? That's the curious dilemma...I'll figure it out.
It's strange how when I get a little lonely, I think back to my double-x girlfriend. Remember the words of Meris: "Just fucking stop." Truer words, never spoken.
Clearly I'm flying high on ephedrine, so my fingers are just flying; I was hoping to direct this at my work but alas I can only direct it at all of you in LJ-land. I guess I'll be dosing up tomorrow, because I know for damn sure ephedrine + L-tyrosine gives me motivation like nobody's business. I could also cook it back to L-meth, which is worthless for getting high, in case anyone is wondering. Ephedrine + Chocamine + L-Tyrosine when I need to work will be my future super-bueno stack of choice. I'll have nootropics when I need to edit. Using my chem knowledge to get through school? Yep.