This says that a recent trend is to have the shower not be a surprise, citing busy work or travel schedules as a reason to let the bride know the date of the shower. From that and other remarks in the link, it would sound like surprising the engaged woman used to be a rule, but that more contemporary conventions are not so demanding. I'd also note that the first link that showed up in the search I did was for "Wedding Showers" at surprise.com.
Thanks for the link. The ironic thing is that my sister doesn't have a busy work or travel schedule...I'm really the one that has to have planning to get back for it.
There are no rules about these kinds of thing, no matter how much people protest. You can make it a surprise, or not (think about whether the showeree likes surprises - personally I hate 'em :)). If you're in charge, then do what you think would be fun and cool, and ignore all the whiners who think that state-sanctioned heterosexual life passages mean regressing to some form of infantile femininity and cobweb-encrusted tradition.
I have hosted two baby showers, another event that celebrates heterosexual procreation-based normalcy with consumerism. But I ignored every stuffy Emily Post thing about baby showers, made them co-ed, made them grown-up (no idiotic games), had lots of good food and booze, and everyone had a great time at both. At the second baby shower, we all pooled our cash and sprung for a night at a fancy hotel for the parents - probably much more appreciated than a few fugly toys or a diaper pail!
over break, my sister had the other bridesmaids and myself exchange numbers because she said "you'll have some stuff to take care of as a group"...which to me suggests that she's expecting a surprise...but maybe I'm reading too much into it. I know the moms are expecting something somewhat traditional. But if prizes and pastels are lacking, they wouldn't be disappointed.
I don't think I've ever been to any kind of shower (bridal or baby) that was a surprise. It just takes too much coordination to try to get the thing going, much less to try and keep it all a secret. Plus, this way you can get the future bride's input. I mean it's for her, she ought to at least do what she likes. :D I say don't worry about convention and just try to focus on making it for for her and everyone else.
thanks for the input thus far. this whole thing is just hard for me because I really feel like I'm not part of any of this.
the impending shower just re-iterates that I'm not important enough to my sister to be maid-of-honor and I just don't understand what it is about the maid-of-honor that gave her the honor. My sister had nothing good to say about her over break. All I heard about was how irresponsible and uninvolved the MOH had been thus far. She flat out said that we couldn't count on the MOH to take care of things and we'd have to likely plan things as a group.
Now MOH swooping in and actually doing something and completely disregarding the email where I said, such and such dates don't work for me, such and such dates do. and then I hear she is planning for the dates that don't work with my schedule.
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I have hosted two baby showers, another event that celebrates heterosexual procreation-based normalcy with consumerism. But I ignored every stuffy Emily Post thing about baby showers, made them co-ed, made them grown-up (no idiotic games), had lots of good food and booze, and everyone had a great time at both. At the second baby shower, we all pooled our cash and sprung for a night at a fancy hotel for the parents - probably much more appreciated than a few fugly toys or a diaper pail!
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the impending shower just re-iterates that I'm not important enough to my sister to be maid-of-honor and I just don't understand what it is about the maid-of-honor that gave her the honor. My sister had nothing good to say about her over break. All I heard about was how irresponsible and uninvolved the MOH had been thus far. She flat out said that we couldn't count on the MOH to take care of things and we'd have to likely plan things as a group.
Now MOH swooping in and actually doing something and completely disregarding the email where I said, such and such dates don't work for me, such and such dates do. and then I hear she is planning for the dates that don't work with my schedule.
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