Trials: Chapter Twenty-Four
A week later, May 9, 2003…
She laughed. "I didn't miss anywhere Shelby, I wouldn't want you burnt" she shook her head slightly.
"I think I really need this" Shelby sighed as she stretched out on the blanket and let her eyes close.
"You think?" Nadia teased.
"Martin keeps calling, the reason we hired him was so we wouldn't stress ourselves out, he has a way of not wanting to make a single decision on his own…" she trailed off.
Nadia laughed softly. "At least you know he won't make the wrong one though" she tried.
Shelby nodded slightly. "So are you going to lay out or block my sun all day?" she asked with a smile.
"I'm relaxing, in a second. I'll be back" Nadia replied before she turned back toward the house.
"JC" Justin grabbed him by the arm and jerked him around in the pool.
"What…" he started.
He pointed to where Nadia was walking back inside. "She always wear that when you two work in the pool?" he asked with a curious look, glancing at JC's expression.
He blinked a second before shaking his head slightly.
Justin laughed. "I'll take that as a no" he grinned and let JC go.
He blew out a deep breath as he sunk underwater.
*
"Josh, you haven't needed me here everyday for awhile now…" she started quietly.
"But…" he started.
"It's a good thing Josh" she interjected. "It means you're getting better. It means, unless you want me to, you can hire someone else to do your follow up" she explained softly.
He met her eyes with mixed emotions. "I want…both Nadia" his voice quiet.
"It's six more appointments, once a week…" she started.
"Could, do you think Greg would do it?" he asked cautiously.
"If he's available for it, I know he would" she replied reassuringly.
"Can I fire you now?" he teased.
"Next week Josh" she laughed softly.
A smile touched his lips. "Nadia, do you think, we've talked about it before but it was always too soon to know if…" he started, hesitation in his voice.
"Dancing" her voice quiet, knowing.
He nodded. "What do you think now?" he asked quietly.
"I think you should wait to see what Greg says after your…" she started quietly.
"Nadia, don't just cop out. If you don't think…" he started.
"Josh, I don't…" she shook her head slightly. "I don't wanna fight about this. I don't know right now…" she started.
"But you still don't think I should" his voice quiet, knowing.
Justin and Shelby's…
"I know boo" she replied softly. "What'd you tell him?" she asked curiously.
"If you were 15 years younger, I'd be in trouble" he replied softly. She laughed softly. "At least I know he's developing good taste" he murmured as he laced his arm about her waist.
"He's a little young to be developing anything don't you think boo?" she replied softly.
He chuckled. "I met you when I was 14" he reminded.
"But…" she started.
"I know Shelby, but that is when we met" he replied with an amused smile.
She was quiet, leaning back against him slightly. "Do you ever wonder what would've happened, if I hadn't been with Dan at the time?" her voice quiet.
He nodded slightly. "I don't know if it would be the same if you hadn't been though" he replied quietly.
"Why?" her voice nearly a whisper.
"Shelby, I was 14" his voice quiet. He shrugged slightly. "You never would've…my parents…there would've been so much more against us then. I think it happened the way it was supposed to."
She was quiet a moment before she turned, gazing up in his eyes. "Do you remember the time you came back…" she started quietly.
He nodded slightly.
"You barely knew me then" her voice a whisper.
"I didn't want you to be alone" he replied quietly.
"You impressed me that day. Not a lot of 15 year old guys would've come back…especially when your time was already limited" her voice quiet.
"My plans weren't that important Shelby. I wanted to be sure you were okay" he replied quietly.
"You had me laughing" she smiled reminiscently.
"I couldn't believe the things he said to you" his voice a whisper.
"Any damage Dan ever inflicted on me, has long since been healed by you Justin" her voice a soft whisper.
Two weeks later, May 23, 2003…
He studied her face. "I'm glad things worked out for you Nadia" his voice quiet.
"What makes you think…" she started with a curious look.
Greg smiled knowingly. "I knew the answer to the question before I ever asked Nadia" his voice quiet. "We've known each other for sometime now, we've been through a lot together…but I've never given you that look."
"I don't have…" she started.
He laughed softly. "Yes you do Nadia. You look different now" he smiled. "I'm glad you found it."
She met his eyes. "You don't have to say…" she started quietly.
"I wouldn't say it, if I didn't mean it Nadia" Greg interjected quietly. He paused for a moment. "You two have been the best medicine for each other."
"Never would've met him without you" her voice quieter.
He smiled. "He said he got you talked into going out tomorrow."
"I told him if he was up to it…" she started.
Greg laughed. "He'll be up to it Nadia, count on it…and don't worry, he is ready for it" his voice reassuring.
JC's…
"So she said yes" Lance smiled.
JC nodded with a smile. "Greg's officially my doctor now so, yeah."
"At least now you can stop thinking about firing her" Joey laughed.
JC threw a pillow at him.
"Has Greg said anything about…" Lance started curiously.
"Just the same thing she did. Wait and see" he shrugged slightly. "I don't see why I couldn't if I'm pretty much walking fine…" he trailed off.
"Almost walking fine" Lance's voice cautious.
"I won't have to use it much longer Lance" JC replied as he rolled the cane between his fingers. "And it's just because of my knee…" he trailed off.
Joey was quiet a moment. "Maybe that's why they want to wait JC. Your knees aren't really something you want to go messing around with…" he started cautiously.
"I know Joe, I guess I'm just getting a little antsy" he replied with a little shrug.
*
"Hey, I didn't think I'd see you 'til…" JC started.
Greg laughed. "I spoke with a few friends of mine at the hospital. I know you're anxious to know Josh" he replied.
He sat up a little straighter. "About…" he started.
Greg nodded. "I can get you in next week for some imaging, if you're that anxious to know" he explained.
His eyes lit up for that moment before caution took over again. "Would it make a big difference, if I did it next week or waited?" he asked cautiously.
Greg shook his head slightly. "What they'd be looking at, they'd be able to tell by now" he replied.
"Then tell me when and I'll be there" JC replied with a smile.
"Wednesday at one" Greg replied.
"Will you be there?" he asked curiously.
Greg nodded. "I'll be there. They won't have the results that day but I know they won't delay it either" he replied.
He nodded slightly. "Nadia is really uncertain…" he started cautiously.
"Josh, she doesn't want you getting your hopes up and then be disappointed" Greg interjected quietly. "We're alike in that respect. I want you to be able to do as much as you can, but I'm not going to sugar coat things or be overly optimistic" he explained.
He hesitated just a second. "What do you really think Greg?" his voice almost a whisper.
"You've recovered really well, that's a positive. But you did have the knee surgery and that's going against you" he paused a moment. "I think it could go either way Josh. You're probably right in that gray area…" he trailed off.
He nodded as his thoughts drifted.
"Josh" Greg's voice drew him back quickly.
"Hmm?"
"I know you, and I trust you, but I'm still saying this and after I do consider it dropped…" he started quietly.
"Nadia" JC's voice quiet.
"Nadia" Greg nodded slightly. "Be patient with her Josh" his voice quiet.
His eyes opened slightly wider.
"You were thinking something else?" Greg asked quietly, a hint of amusement in his eyes.
JC merely nodded.
Greg shrugged slightly. "It's rare to find someone as untainted as she is…even with her past" his voice quiet.
He nodded slightly.
"She's new to all this but she trusts you completely Josh. Don't let her regret that" his voice quiet, his eyes piercing.
Now that was more along the lines at what he'd been expecting. "Greg…" JC started quietly.
"I'm just saying, take care with her" Greg interrupted, his voice a little gruff.
The next day, May 24, 2003…
He let the icebox close and turned to find her sitting on the counter with two glasses in her hands. "It's still a little strange, people trying to do everything for me" he answered to her question.
She laughed softly. "Give it time Josh, you won't be able to get anyone to do anything for you soon enough" a twinkle in her eyes.
He set the bottle down next to her as he stepped up to the counter, meeting her eyes. "Does that mean, I'll never be able to get one of your massages again?" he asked slowly, purposefully, his voice quiet.
"That all depends Josh" she replied softly. His hands resting at her hips.
"On?" he whispered as her fingers brushed against the back of his neck.
She leaned forward slightly. "What you do for me in return" she whispered near his ear, a twinkle in her eyes.
He met her eyes slowly, a hint of a smile touching his lips. "Are you sure you wanna play this game Nadia?" his voice a breath of a whisper.
"You already fired me Josh, what do I have to lose?" she replied in a whisper, keeping his eyes.
He leaned forward slightly. "Thanks for reminding me" his voice a whisper near her ear.
"Of?" she breathed out.
"I fired you" his voice a whisper, lips a breath away from hers.
"So you did" she murmured.
Both of them jerked back at the shrill ringing of the telephone. She caught a glimpse of him shaking his head slightly as she let out a breath. He was not about to reach across the counter and touch the offending object.
She twisted around lifting it off the receiver. "Hello?" she breathed out.
He uncorked the bottle pouring their glasses.
"Hi TJ, hold on a second" she replied before holding the phone out for him.
He eyed her for a moment before taking the phone. "Yeah?"
She lifted the glass taking a sip.
"Okay" he glanced at her. "Is that the only reason you called me right now?" he questioned.
He shook his head slightly. "You have a key TJ. Come whenever you want…bad time?" he glanced at her again. "Not the best, not the worst. What's going on?" he asked quietly as he took a step from her.
"Yeah, I'll call you tomorrow then" he replied. "Later kid" he chuckled before hanging up.
"Everything okay?" she asked quietly as he stepped back toward her.
"Yeah, it's fine" he replied quietly.
"If you needed to…" she started.
He shook his head. "I'm with you right now Nadia" his voice a whisper.
"Josh" her voice quiet as she slipped her arms over his shoulders.
"Hmm" he replied as he tucked a little bit of her hair behind her ear.
"I like the sound of that" her voice a whisper.
He nearly cursed at the phone as it rang again. She almost groaned aloud as her forehead rested on his shoulder.
He put his arms around her and pulled her off the counter. "We're leaving" his voice quiet, serious.
"Josh…" she started.
"Come on, we're leaving here" he replied taking her hand before he started out of his kitchen.
It wasn't until they were half way to his car that he glanced at her. He stopped walking. "What?" his voice quiet a little cautious.
Her eyes remained trained on their hands. "They fit" her voice nearly a whisper.
"You've held my hand before" his voice gentle, drawing her eyes.
"Not like this" she replied quietly.
There was an innocence in her eyes that made him smile. It was one of those tiny little discoveries that could be passed off as entirely insignificant, never even really thought about.
It had been something he'd done out of instinct. He hadn't even thought about the gesture, it was natural. It was that innocence that made him want to protect her with everything in him.
"Josh" she whispered softly.
"No phones" he murmured, closing the remaining space between them.
"This isn't happening" he breathed out burying his face to her neck.
She sighed patting his back before he stepped away from her and toward the headlights in his drive.
The lights went off and JC eyed the figure stepping out of an all too familiar car. "Joe, I swear to god, this had better be life and death" his voice forcedly quiet as he eyed him.
"I thought you two would still be out…" Joey started.
"We're here Joe, and so are you" JC eyed him.
"I was just going to borrow…" Joey started a little more cautiously.
"Whatever you want, take it" JC tugged at his hair.
Joey chuckled. "JC, you need to breathe" he pat his back and jogged up ahead waving to Nadia on his way in.
"Josh, come on" her voice quiet, soothing, as she took his hand in hers and started down the drive.
He allowed himself to be led to her car. "I'm sorry…" he started after she pulled out on his street.
She laughed softly. "It's alright. I know you didn't plan it."
He glanced over to find her smiling, very much amused. "It's not funny Nadia" his voice quiet.
She swallowed, but smiled despite herself. "Yes it is Josh" she chuckled as she continued driving down the road.
"Where are we going?" he asked quietly as they passed by the turn for her house.
"You'll see Josh" she replied softly.
Chris and Matt's…
Chris sat quietly, studying him as he rocked Hannah, humming softly, calming her. The easy way his eyes closed after she'd quieted, a hand protectively on her back. He smiled to himself.
"How's fatherhood Chris?" he asked quietly, his eyes remaining closed.
"You tell me Justin" Chris replied gently, an almost knowing undertone to his voice.
"Shelby's not…" he started, his eyes opening.
Chris smiled and nodded. "I know. You just look pretty comfortable over there with her" he replied.
Justin smiled down at her sleeping form. "You'll have to watch her Chris. You'll have boys knocking your door down."
Chris chuckled. "Let's just say, I'm glad we aren't there yet" Chris replied with a smile.
"You happy?" Justin asked as he raised his eyes to Chris'.
"Never been happier Justin" he replied with a nod. A smile took his entire face. "It's the most amazing thing, when I saw her the first time…" he trailed off.
"You and Matt…" Justin started a little more cautiously.
"Justin, having a child…if it's done anything, I love Matt more. She's the woman I've created this little person with. I love her more now" his voice quiet.
He nodded with a smile, his eyes returning to the baby girl sleeping against him.
"It's okay to wonder about being a good parent Justin, I think everyone does. But I don't think it's something you need to worry about. You and Shelby will be great parents" Chris added quietly.
"Oh my god guys, you're gonna die laughing…" Joey burst in the room causing Hannah to wake with a fright. "Sorry" his voice quieter as he approached Justin and Hannah.
Chris stifled a laugh at the way Justin adjusted his hold on her, almost warding Joey off. "She's okay Joe" Chris reassured as Justin began humming to her again. "So what's so funny?" he asked curiously.
Joey's eyes lit up and a full grin spread across his face. "I was just over at JC's…" he started.
"Weren't he and Nadia going out…" Chris started curiously.
Joey nodded. "I thought they'd still be out because it's still kind of early but when I got there…"
Elsewhere…
The porch light illuminated the entry hall enough for him to see the switch and he raised his hand to it as the door closed behind him.
She took his hands in hers before he could turn the light on, wrapping his arms around her. "No one will know we're here if there are no lights" her voice a whisper.
His cheek rested near her temple as they walked slowly down the hall. They came to a stop before a bay window looking out at the beach. "No phones Josh, nobody who knows we're here…" she started softly.
"Just you and me" he whispered.
"Just you and me" she whispered softly as she turned in his hold.
"I could've killed Joey" his voice quiet as he met her eyes.
A soft smile touched her lips. "We'll get Joey later" her voice a soft whisper as she brushed her fingers through his hair.
His lips brushed softly against hers as their eyes closed. Their lips melded together. His hold on her tightened slightly as she stepped in a little closer.
*
"Is it always this easy?" her voice a whisper as she peered into his eyes.
He was quiet a moment, his fingers stroking her cheek softly. "I think it really depends on the people Nadia. It's never been really easy for me…I think once you've been burned you're a lot more cautious with how quickly you give your heart away" he replied quietly.
"I never thought I could trust someone enough…" her voice a whisper.
"I have no idea how you fell for me Nadia" he interjected in a whisper.
She held his eyes. "I just trusted you Josh. And you didn't hurt me for it…I think I gave you myself a little at a time, without even really knowing it, until you had more than I did" she replied quietly. "There was something in you, that made me believe in you…and then in love."
"I don't know how you put up with me sometimes" his voice a whisper.
"You were always special" she replied softly.
He was quiet a moment. "When I think of all the little things that happened…the tiniest thing different…" he started.
"I wish you hadn't had to meet me the way you did though" her voice a whisper.
"If Julie hadn't called, I wouldn't have forgotten the song on stage. If Greg's mother didn't get sick, I never would've…" he started quietly.
"Our ex's got us together" she mused.
"If Shelby and I hadn't finished that song the night before, if Joey hadn't dragged me out with him the night before…" he trailed off.
"All those things happened though Josh" her voice quiet.
He met her eyes. "It was worth all the pain, to have you" his voice a whisper.
Justin and Shelby's…
"Did you have a good time with Matt?" he asked softly as she crawled into bed and his arms.
"Mm, did I wake you up?" she asked quietly.
"No, I just came up myself" he replied reassuringly.
"What's on your mind boo?" she asked softly, knowingly.
"Just being with you" he replied in a soft whisper.
"You can tell me boo" her voice reassuring as she met his eyes.
He was quiet a moment. "Do you still want kids?" his voice nearly a whisper.
"Is this something you've changed your mind about?" she asked quietly.
"Shelby, I need to know how you feel" his voice quiet.
"I haven't changed my mind Justin. I would like to…" she started quietly.
"I just needed to know" he interjected, his voice quiet. "I haven't changed my mind Shelby. I just needed to know how you felt without…without you thinking of me first."
"What brought all this up boo?" she asked gently.
"I was just holding Hannah tonight…" he trailed off.
"Are you sure you're ready Justin?" she asked quietly, her eyes searching his.
"I know that I love you Shelby. And I know that I want to have kids with you" he replied quietly.
The next day, May 25, 2003…
Their feet sunk slightly with each step as they made their way back to the cottage. Her head rested gently against his shoulder.
"Tired" he whispered softly as he moved his arm around her.
"Just a little" she replied with a soft smile.
He slid his arms around her from behind, his head bowing ever so slightly, almost protectively.
"Josh" her voice a breath on the breeze, her fingers tracing along his forearms.
"Hmm?" He murmured softly.
"What time do you have to be back?" she asked quietly.
"Not until late afternoon, we have time for a nap" he replied softly.
They entered the cottage through the door near the bay windows and he eyed her curiously as she went directly for the couch in the little nook. He stifled a laugh as she started tossing pillows aside and grinned as she grunted softly pulling on the hideaway.
He smiled as she crawled up and stretched out with a little sigh. She pat the space beside her and he crawled up on the bed with her.
She rested her head on his chest. "I love it in here, especially when it's stormy" her voice a soft whisper.
It was a small nearly all glass enclosed nook, he'd wondered about the couch's placement before, but now he knew exactly why it was there.
He nodded as he let his eyes close. Her breathing already slowed, he smiled to himself. His arms wrapped about her with a little sigh of contentment. I love you.
She brought her hand up beneath her chin. "I love you too" she breathed out.
"Nadia" his voice a whisper.
"Hmm?" she lifted her head slightly off his chest to peer in his eyes.
He lifted his head slightly, lips brushing softly over hers. "I love you" he murmured softly.
A few days later, May 28, 2003…
Their eyes followed her slowly as she paced up and down the short space in front of them.
Lance shook his head slightly breaking his daze and stood, taking her by the arm. "Nadia, please sit" his voice quiet.
"Hmm?"
He merely looked at her.
"Oh" she shrugged slightly. "I didn't realize…" she trailed off as she sat down.
Shelby laughed softly. "Nadia, we won't even know today right?" she asked with a smile.
"No" she shook her head but her head was already twisted around searching for him.
Lance laughed and sat back down with Shelby.
He and Greg rounded the corner and no sooner had she bolted up and started toward them.
"We won't know anything today" Greg answered before she could ask.
"How did you feel about it?" she asked eyeing him.
Greg shrugged. "We won't know anything today" he repeated.
She placed her hands on JC's stomach stopping him as she peered up in his eyes. "How do you feel about it?" she asked quietly.
He took her hands in his. "I'm fine Nadia. They'll have the results in a couple days" he replied gently.
"Who's looking them over?" she asked curiously.
"Nadia…" Greg started.
"I want to know it's not…" she started.
"It's not her so don't worry, otherwise" Greg eyed her firmly, "you aren't his doctor and that is privileged."
She cast him a dirty look before her eyes returned to JC's. "And you're really okay?" she asked softly.
He smiled tenderly at her concern. He reached around her, pulling her close, his head bowing. "I wouldn't lie to you" he whispered.
"I just…" her voice trailed off as her hold tightened.
"Oh my god, that's JC" rang out through the small lobby they were sitting in.
In the second it took for those words to be spoken his entire body stiffened. His mind went on auto-pilot. He let out a breath as he pulled away from her. A courteous smile touched his lips.
Nadia turned to Greg. "Are you lying about Beth because…" she started quietly.
"No Nadia" Greg shook his head. "If they had wanted her to review it, I would've argued, you know that" his voice quiet.
"Nah, she's just a friend of mine" he replied with a smile, continuing to sign his name.
Greg met her eyes.
Shelby stared at him with wide eyes and Lance lowered his eyes slightly.
"I'm really doing better. I hope to start again soon" he replied to the second girl's question.
"Josh, time to go" Greg grunted.
"Doctor's orders" JC explained giving an easy smile and they said brief good-byes.
As soon as they were out in the parking garage Greg looked to Lance. "You take him" his voice gruff.
Lance nodded without saying a word. Never before had he seen Greg look, ready to hurt someone.
JC glanced at Lance when he was situated in his car. "Did I miss something? Greg looked pretty pissed."
"JC…" Lance trailed off as he back out the parking space and started on his way.
"Greg, he…" Shelby started quietly.
"Shocked the hell out of you too Shelby. I saw the look in your eyes too" his voice forcedly quiet.
She merely nodded. "I don't know why he said that…I'll take her home though" she added quickly.
"No you won't, I will" Greg grunted.
"You have work Greg…" Shelby started.
He let out a long string of explicatives. "You tell her I'll be there as soon as my shift is over" his voice firm.
"I will Greg" she replied quietly.
Justin and Shelby's…
"Nadia, say something" Shelby tried quietly.
She hadn't spoken a word since she'd heard him in the hospital.
"Tell me you're pissed off, tell me you hate him right now, tell me you understand, tell me anything" Shelby met her vacant eyes.
"Everything…isn't okay" Justin's voice quiet. "What's going on?"
JC's…
"Where's Nadia?" he asked after a moment.
Lance stared at him with disbelief.
"Well?" JC eyed him.
"You really don't even…" Lance shook his head and sat JC down at a kitchen chair. "Didn't you guys talk about that at all yet JC?" he asked quietly.
"Talk about…" JC started.
"Nah, she's just a friend of mine" Lance replied quietly.
"What are you talking about Lance?" JC eyed him.
Lance shook his head slightly. "Even if you had, I thought there'd be no way you'd hide her…" he started quietly.
"Lance, what the hell are you talking about?" JC questioned as he raised to his feet.
Justin and Shelby's…
"He didn't" Justin's voice almost a whisper.
Shelby merely nodded. "I didn't think he would, with her…" she trailed off.
"I didn't either" Justin replied quietly.
"He didn't even…" Shelby trailed off.
"Why?" she breathed out.
They both turned toward her.
Justin sat down beside her and took one of her hands in his, stroking the top of her hand in a comforting manner. "I honestly don't know what he was thinking Nadia, but I could try…" Justin started quietly.
"Why did he say that?" her voice a whisper.
"I don't know what he was thinking Nadia, or even if he was" Justin replied quietly. "All I can say is that for a long time it was beat into our heads that no one was more than a friend…it's not an excuse though…" Justin trailed off, his voice quiet.
JC's…
"JC, you said she didn't mean anything to you in front of those girls today" Lance's voice quiet.
"What? I did no such…" JC started.
"Think about it JC" Lance interjected. "How else would she take it?" he shook his head slightly. "I thought you would've talked to her by now…" he trailed off.
"I didn't…oh jesus…" he cursed loudly at his stupidity.
Lance nodded slightly. "She looked really hurt JC" his voice quiet. "You didn't talk to her about that yet?" he asked cautiously.
"I forgot about it Lance. I haven't had to worry about it for…" he stood and started pacing. "I've been a hermit the last year…" he started.
"It didn't sound good JC" Lance interjected quietly. "I mean, it sounded…" he started.
"Like I was telling the truth" JC finished with a groan.
"Yeah" Lance replied quietly.
"I have to talk to her" JC blurted out as he started down the hall.
Lance bolted up after him, snatching the keys from his hand. JC stared at him about ready to shout. "You need to think about what you're going to say JC. Try to explain it in a way she can understand…you have to remember, she has next to no idea what our lives have been like…all she's seen is the normal" Lance's voice quiet.
He grabbed the keys back. "I don't care what I have to say Lance…" he trailed off as he hurried down the hall.
Justin and Shelby's…
She swallowed. "Not that" her voice a whisper.
"Nadia, I know he didn't mean it the way it came out though. I know JC…" Justin started quietly, trying.
She lifted her eyes to his silencing him. "Why did he tell me he loved me?" her voice a whisper. There were no tears in her eyes, no misunderstanding, no anger, no fear.
The emptiness in her eyes almost frightened him. He'd never seen her look so distant before. "Nadia, the only reason JC would ever say those words is if he meant them" his voice quiet.
She pulled her hand away from his as she stood up. "We must have different definitions for the word then" her voice quiet as she started out of the room.
Justin looked to Shelby helplessly. She stood and started after Nadia.
"Save your breath Shelby" Nadia's voice quiet as she pulled the front door open and stepped outside.
Shelby took hold of her arm about her wrist forcing her to stop. "Nadia, I know you're hurt right now and that's…" she started.
"I'm not hurt Shelby, only disappointed" her voice quiet, devoid of emotion.
"Nadia…" Shelby started.
"In myself, for thinking Josh was different. I should've known he'd just be another to add to the list…" she trailed off as she started pulling away.
Shelby clamped her hold tight. "You just wait a god damn minute Nadia" her tone more defensive.
She pulled her arm away and glanced back at Shelby. "I'm not perfect Shelby. I was wrong about him. It's happened before, I'm sure it'll happen again…" she turned and started away.
"You're lumping him in with everyone else who's hurt you in your life and you haven't even given him a chance to explain" Shelby darted after her.
"If the shoe fits Shelby" Nadia mumbled as she kept walking.
"I can't believe you. I thought you loved him" Shelby eyed her.
She turned on her heel to face Shelby. "How dare you question my feelings" her voice quiet, eyes narrowed.
"You're ready to run at the first little bump Nadia, it's not like the scene isn't familiar to me. I've seen at least a dozen tread his heart to almost nothing…" Shelby eyed her in much the same way.
"So now I'm like all the others" Nadia shook her head and started away again.
"That's just it Nadia, I thought you were different" Shelby replied.
"Perhaps we were both wrong then Shelby" Nadia mumbled.
"Julie did the same thing" Shelby called after her.
She froze mid-step and turned with fire in her eyes. "Julie was an immature child who couldn't handle…" she started.
"If the shoe fits Nadia" Shelby interjected, glaring at her.
She was quiet a moment. "I'm the first to admit, I had no idea what I was doing with him Shelby. Relationships have never been easy for me, but he knew that Shelby. But I can't believe you…" she started quietly.
"Nadia, just let him explain…" Shelby tried.
"I am not like Julie" she interjected firmly. "I didn't run when I saw he might not live up to my fantasy. I didn't come back and play mind games with him. I know he's human…" she started.
"Then let him…" Shelby interjected.
"But I am too Shelby" she interjected quietly. Shelby was quieted and Nadia swallowed. "I'm not so different from you either Shelby. Because I would've done anything to ease the pain he was in. I did everything I could. I would've taken ten years off my life for him to have ten minutes without the pain that first time…" she started.
"Nadia, what…" Shelby started confused.
"I was in the ER when he came in Shelby. I was in the elevator on the way up for his surgery. I spoke with Dr. Jenkins about having Greg put on the list for you to meet…he was so pumped up with drugs there's no way he'd ever remember…" her voice quiet.
"We didn't see you…" Shelby started.
"I waited until I knew he came out of surgery. I was in the recovery room with him until he started coming to and then I had to leave…I was just there that day Shelby. I was there leaving from lunch with Greg and one of the doctor's I know saw me and asked me to help out. I didn't know who he was. I didn't know his name…" she trailed off.
"You never said anything…" Shelby started quietly.
"I'm not so different from you Shelby" her voice quiet. "I saw you at the hospital when I went to see Greg…" she shook her head slightly. "Do you understand the pressure of knowing that you could be causing future paralysis, if you do something wrong…" she trailed off before she turned again.
"Nadia, don't walk away from him now" Shelby's voice quiet.
"I would've given him my life…if he would've let me" her voice barely audible as she took a step down onto the street.
"He still needs you" Shelby tried.
She turned slowly and met Shelby's eyes. "I just don't see it the same way" her voice quiet before she turned and started down the street.
Chapter Twenty-Five