Trials: Chapter Twenty-Six

[wa_papertigers]

June 20, 2003, continued…
She smiled up at him. "Thank you for doing this" her voice a whisper.
He brushed a kiss to her forehead with a smile and pulled the veil over her face. "I'm sorry your father couldn't be the one to do this, but I'm proud to stand for him" his voice quiet.
"It would've been lonely walking by myself" her voice a whisper as she took his arm.
He smiled warmly. "Are you still nervous?" he asked gently as they started out of the room.
"No" she replied with a little shake of her head.
"You know in your heart Shelby and so does he" he replied with a smile.
"Wait here" Martin instructed.
Nadia and one of Justin's childhood friends had just reached the front of the church and Chris and Matt were being paused before their journey.
She smiled up at him. "She looks gorgeous" her voice a soft whisper.
He merely nodded, his eyes trained up ahead before falling on her again. "Do you think I'll be able to get her to dance?" he asked cautiously.
She eyed him curiously. "She says she doesn't, but I think she's just hiding. You could probably sweet talk her into it, as long as you're good" she smiled knowingly.
He sighed softly. "I'll be good or she'll have my butt later" he smiled despite his words.
Shelby laughed softly. "Somehow I don't think you mind so much JC" she smiled.
He shrugged. "Not when it's her" he replied with a little smile.
"Okay you two, are you ready?" Martin asked in a whisper.
"I'm ready" Shelby replied with a nod.
"Okay" Martin motioned them to the archway.
He smiled down at her as he rested his other hand over hers. She squeezed his arm gently, a soft smile on her lips as they stepped before the doors.
They were pulled open and they stepped forward as the wedding march started. He stood tall, pride in his eyes. They smiled at each other before they started down the aisle.
She could've been an angel. She was his angel. Chris' little nudge reminding him to breathe as she came closer to him. Her face guarded by a thin veil couldn't hide her from him. The love in her eyes, the warmth in her smile…he could see her.
Her eyes quickly fixed ahead as the space between them closed slowly. He could've been standing there naked for all she saw of his body. Her eyes fixed on his. It was really all she had to see anymore to know that he was the one she wanted to be with for the rest of her life.
There were moments when she'd wondered where all the love he had for her came from. They'd gone through so much that to be where she was at that moment, just feet away from him waiting for the minister to ask who gave her away, was almost unreal.
The years of only half knowing each other, but still knowing that if something were to come up they'd still be there as much as one could be. The lies and stories he'd never believed, spoken of her. The rumors and talk she never paid mind to.
The months of really getting to know each other. The undeniable connection between them found in the most unexpected way at the most inopportune time.
The years past full of weeks sometimes months apart at a time, with only days between to be together. Both of them having spent countless sleepless nights and crying pools of tears.
She met JC's eyes after he'd spoken for her. The two of them had become closer than siblings, linked in a way almost no one understood and no one could question, she'd grown to truly love him and he her.
He sat next to her mother and Justin stepped down taking her hand in his and led her up the step. He met her eyes, holding her hands in his.
The hours of conversations they'd shared. He hadn't understood it completely himself at the time except to know that when he was talking to her on that first tour he knew she understood him and that gave him peace.
The moments when they were alone and he could just hold her, the way he wanted to, without hesitation or reservation, without having to lie to himself or anyone else. Having her close to heal his heart and mend his soul.
The moments when she took him in her arms, of comfort or of want. Without unnecessary words they could speak to each other's needs.
She watched as his eyes moved from the minister's to hers with each line. The emotion in his voice coiled around her body keeping her warm. The look in his eyes giving her the strength to stand and yet weakening her knees.
Nadia glanced from Shelby and Justin to find his eyes on her and drew in a deep breath. His head bowed slightly before his eyes returned to his friends but the look he'd given her had penetrated every inch of her body.
He breathed in each word spoken from her lips. The mere sound of her voice warming his heart. Her eyes remained fixed on his in a gaze he would never forget. Her pledge of love to him brought tears to his eyes.
His fingers pulling the veil away from her face, their lips meeting softly.
His eyes drifted from his friends to her again and he swallowed finding her gaze again. He had to pull his eyes away from her to breathe.
She swallowed hard as he glanced back at her. The sheer heat in his gaze was almost unbearable.
"I now present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Justin Timberlake" the minister smiled. The entire sanctuary rose to their feet in applause as they made their way down the aisle together.
Hotel Ballroom…
She sat at the table, already having refused three offers to dance, watching the couples on the dance floor. "Did you want something to drink?" JC asked breaking her daze.
Her eyes drifted to him and she shook her head slightly. "No thanks" she replied quietly.
He scooted a little closer to him. "Are you okay?" he asked gently.
"It's a little hard to believe" she replied quietly. "Not that they're married now, but that they haven't been, at least for as long as I've known them."
He leaned forward a little more. "They broke up for a couple months, after my accident" his voice quiet.
"That wasn't your fault Josh" she replied quietly, gently.
He nodded slightly. "But in a way I was responsible."
She shook her head putting a hand over his as she leaned forward. "You and Shelby are like me and Greg…" she started.
He nodded slightly. "We love each other but we aren't in love with each other" his voice quiet.
"I think I'll get that drink…" she trailed off as she rose from the table.
JC watched her cross the room, and in so, saw several heads turn and fix as she passed by. Matt smiled as she sat down with a little sigh of relief. "Hi Matt" he breathed out, not moving his head.
"You should be at her side JC" she smiled softly.
"I am" he replied quietly.
She laughed softly. "Not the way you want to be right now" she whispered knowingly.
"I don't want to crowd her" he replied quietly, his eyes focusing on the guy stepping up beside her.
"Hi" she greeted politely.
"Bride or groom?" he asked with a smile.
"Both actually, but I know Shelby better than Justin" she replied as she stepped up to the bar.
"Are you here…" he started.
JC slipped his arms around her waist, his chin resting on her shoulder. He breathed her in nearly losing his train of thought.
"Josh, this is…" she started.
"Michael" he replied politely.
"Nice to meet you" JC replied as he moved one of his hands to shake.
"Champagne" she turned slowly.
"Thanks" he replied.
"It was nice meeting you Michael" she smiled politely before taking JC's hand, the two of them heading back to their own table.
"I probably…" he started quietly, caution entering his voice.
"What took you so long?" she breathed out as she lifted her eyes to his.
"I was caught in a dream" he whispered softly.
*
"She won't" he breathed out almost frustratedly.
"Have you asked?" Shelby whispered.
He met her eyes. "Yes Shelby, more than once."
She was quiet a moment before her eyes twinkled. "I have an idea, be ready to play off it" she grinned and floated away.
He eyed her curiously for a moment until she saw the man in particular she'd gone after and a smile touched his lips. Evil Shelby, sometimes you're pure evil…wish I would've thought of it. He laughed softly to himself.
"What's so funny?" Nadia asked curiously as she sat back down.
He smiled as he met her eyes. "Just thinking about the fact that nearly every single male and probably some of the taken ones are jealous of me right now" he whispered as he leaned forward, toward her.
She laughed softly. "Have you thought of every breathing female 13 to 33 who would kill to have my seat?"
He cleared his throat and smiled at her.
"Hi Jonathan…" Nadia started.
He smiled warmly and looked back to the DJ before meeting her eyes. "May I have this dance?" he asked softly.
Her eyes opened a little wider at his request. He looked so sweet she could hardly deny the boy. "I'd be honored" she smiled as she stood up.
JC's lips parting slightly as the two of them walked past him. Good one Shelby. He smiled before turning to watch them.
The people who caught the two of them dancing cooed and smiled.
"What's going on?" Justin breathed out, his arms low around her back.
"A little plotting never hurt" Shelby laughed softly.
Justin smiled as Jon played along trying to turn Nadia, and she did her darnedest to be led by the boy over a foot shorter. It was a sight to be seen.
JC tapped his shoulder with a smile. "May I?"
Jonathan smiled and let out a little "Whew" pulling his arm across his forehead. "Thanks" he smiled before jetting off the floor leaving her in capable arms.
"Alright Josh…" she started quietly.
"Smile dear, people are watching" he whispered with a smile as he took her hand in his.
She eyed him for a moment. "Who was the mastermind?" she asked curiously.
"I imagine you could figure it out" he smiled and pulled back bring her around in a turn.
She met his eyes as they met again. "Had to be Shelby" she laughed softly.
He merely smiled. "This is how I have to get you out here with me, recruit the youngin?" he asked curiously.
"It worked this time" she replied vaguely.
"Are we playing little games here Nadia?" he asked with a smile.
"You know the answer to that as well as I do" she replied softly with a batting of her lashes.
"Okay then, you asked for it" he smiled before he dipped her.
It was all she could do not to yelp and when she came back up she moved her arms around his neck. "Don't you ever do that again" she breathed out.
"I don't have to now" he whispered as his arms closed around her.
"Oh" she mumbled.
"Not so bad" he whispered as they swayed to the music.
"Not bad at all" she breathed out.
It was several songs later before someone foolish enough tried to cut in. "May I?" he asked quietly.
"I don't think so" she murmured, her arms tightening about him, not even really thinking.
"Sorry" JC mumbled.
"Not even one?" he asked with a smile.
She opened her eyes to find Justin standing there with a smile.
JC's…
He met her eyes knowing exactly what she was thinking. "It wasn't the dancing Nadia. I'm just tired. It was a long day and there were a lot of stairs…" he trailed off.
"Josh" her voice quiet.
"Hmm?" he met her eyes cautiously.
"Thank you for dancing with me" she whispered softly.
His eyes opened slightly wider. "Your welcome Nadia, but…" he started.
"Will you promise me something?" she interjected quietly.
"Hmm?"
"I know you don't need it Josh, but if your knee is bothering you, will you use the cane tomorrow?" her voice a whisper.
"Nadia…" he started.
"Only if you need it Josh" she interjected quietly.
"Alright, I will if I need to" he replied quietly.
She wrapped her arms around him. "Thank you" she breathed out.
He pulled her a little closer and sighed softly. "Stay" he breathed out.
"I…" she started.
"Stay" he murmured against her lips.
*
The three days since they'd actually talked things through had been a little crazy with the wedding. They really hardly spent any time alone after they'd talked.
She breathed deeply, his arms wrapped about her. His eyes closed gently in his sleep, his breathing low and regular. Her fingers brushed through his hair softly. "I love you" she whispered softly.
He murmured incoherently in his sleep, pulling her closer to him. She breathed deeply taking his scent, just breathing him in. She sighed softly in the comfort of his arms.
She held her breath a second. Feeling his heartbeat, his breath, his arms wrapped around her, his body close to hers. She breathed out slowly as though not to disturb the moment.
"Nadia?" he whispered groggily.
She closed her eyes tight and snuggled closer to him.
His eyes fluttered open. His fingers pulling a little bit of her hair away from her face. "Nadia…" he started quietly.
"It's okay Josh" her voice a whisper.
He pulled his head back a little and met her eyes. "What is it?" he asked quietly.
She held his eyes with hers, not able to find the words to express the moment before. "I can't explain…" her voice a whisper.
He brushed a kiss to her forehead. "I'm not going anywhere Nadia" his voice a whisper.
"I know Josh" she replied quietly.
He met her eyes again and pulled back a little. "Come 'ere" his voice a whisper as he settled himself.
She leaned over him, peering into his eyes, searching for a way to tell him but the words wouldn't come. Her fingers grazed across his forehead and along his jaw line. His life energy shining through his eyes.
He held her gaze, quiet for a moment. She rested her head on his chest and he closed his arms around her. "I'm only as strong as you've made me Nadia. Don't think that because I can walk, I don't need you anymore because it isn't true" his voice quiet.
She nodded slightly against his chest. "Josh, it's not going to come out right…I don't know how to…" she drew in a breath. "I was just laying here with you, in the quiet, in the dark…" she trailed off.
He rubbed her back with a little sigh. "I'm never gonna let you go now, you know that right?" his voice a whisper.
"That's just it Josh" she breathed out. "I don't want you to."

The next day, June 21, 2003…
"Okay, we're alone" Matt spoke quietly, concern in her eyes.
"Chris…" she started cautiously.
"He took Hannah to Bev's" Matt reassured. "Nadia, what's going on? You called really early…" she started.
"I know, I'm sorry about that. I wasn't thinking about what time it was…" she started quietly, her eyes lowered a little.
"I'm not scolding you for it Nadia, I just want to know why?" Matt replied gently.
"He took the day off you know" she mumbled, more to herself than to Matt.
Matt nodded slightly. "He'd be crazy not to" she replied quietly.
"And I'm not with him" Nadia sighed.
"Why not?" Matt asked gently, her eyes probing though.
"Look at me Matt" her voice quiet as she raised her eyes to Matt's. "I haven't slept" she confirmed Matt's thought. "I couldn't, I tried…" she sighed heavily.
"Why didn't you call him? I know he would've come over…" Matt started.
"I was with him" Nadia interjected quietly.
Matt nodded slightly and became quiet, studying her. "So?" her voice quiet.
Nadia stood up and walked across the room, looking out the window. "I don't know Matt, what I'm feeling…I love the way I feel around him, but it scares the shit out of me" her voice almost a whisper.
"Why?" Matt asked gently taking the space beside her, gazing out back as well.
"It's new to me Matt. Everything about this is new…" she started quietly.
"I thought…" Matt started cautiously.
"I loved Greg, but it's…Josh isn't Greg. And I wouldn't want him to be" she added quietly. "I need to talk to him, but I don't know how to say what I'm thinking" she sighed, her shoulders slumping.
Matt pat her back gently. "Have you tried writing it out Nadia? Or could you try to explain it a little and maybe I could help you" her voice quiet, gentle.
She turned slightly finding Matt's eyes. "I don't want to lose him" her voice quiet.
"I don't think he'd let himself get lost Nadia" Matt replied reassuringly.
JC's…
"Maybe it's just stupid Josh, and I know it's partially my own insecurity with this…" her voice quiet.
"With us?" he asked quietly. She shook her head and then nodded. "Nadia…" he started quietly.
"No" she shook her head slightly. "I'm trying here, I don't know if any of this is going to make any sense at all…" she drew in a breath. He sat patiently next to her.
"Last night…I've felt comfortable before Josh, with a few people, but never really at peace. It was so quiet and dark, there was just…I didn't feel like there was someplace else to be or something else I could be doing. I didn't have that nagging feeling Josh, and it hit me all at once…" her voice quiet.
"When I woke up?" he asked gently.
"Right before" she nodded slightly. "Well, sort of right before…right before, the house was still…and there was a moment, just a second when I could almost feel your life…and I realized how tiny I am" her voice almost a whisper.
"Nadia, you…" he started quietly.
"I know" she interjected quietly. "It's not me doubting being with you Josh, because I don't want to be anywhere else with anyone else…I just…I couldn't go back to my life the way it was before I met you Josh. I started thinking about the things that have changed..." she started.
"You didn't sleep" his voice quiet. I know you didn't fall back asleep, if you ever were asleep.
"You never fell back asleep either Josh" her voice quiet. "I know I kept you up…I couldn't get my mind to stop."
He met her eyes. "I will never let us slide Nadia. I love what I do. I have a passion for what I do, but it isn't me and it will never be me. When I'm on stage, it's the show JC. It's a part of me, but it's isn't all there is…" he started quietly.
"I know" she spoke softly.
"When I'm with you, it's me. It's just me, and it's me who loves you" his voice quiet.
"I'm just…" she started quietly.
"The one I want Nadia" his voice quiet as his fingers intertwined with hers.
"It scares me, being with you" her voice a whisper.
"I know" he breathed out as she leaned against him.
"Not because of you though" she murmured as his arms circled around her.
"I know" he whispered softly.
"I don't want to let this go" her voice a whisper.
"I'm not going to let you" he breathed out.
"Don't give up on me Josh" her voice a breath of a whisper.
"I can't give up on my future" he breathed out.
She pulled back slightly, searching his eyes. "You saw it too" her voice a whisper.
"In your eyes yesterday, but I felt it the first time we kissed" he whispered softly.
*
His arms were wrapped around her. Her breathing deep and steady. He breathed out deeply before breathing her in.
I know this isn't easy for you. She stirred in his arms before settling again. I know it scares you to death, to be this close to me. But I'm not going to let you go, because I need you…maybe more than you need me.
He brushed a soft kiss atop her head.
"Josh" she murmured groggily.
"Mm hmm, go back to sleep" he whispered softly.
She settled herself again a little closer to him, murmuring incoherently before drifting again.
He breathed her in letting his eyes close.

Four weeks later, July 19, 2003…
"He's different now" his voice quiet before he turned his head glancing over at her.
Nadia cocked her head slightly. "How so?" she asked quietly.
"Look at him Nadia" Lance smiled. "Last year this time he was still in bed. And the year before, even just before the accident…he wasn't as happy as he wanted people to believe" his voice quiet.
She glanced over to where JC was and laughed softly at the expression on his face. He quickly straightened himself out as he was being spoken to again.
Lance smiled warmly. "JC is happy being with you Nadia. I think more than he thought possible."
She smiled dragging her eyes back to Lance as she nodded slightly. "I didn't think it would be like this at all Lance" her voice quiet.
"He's better with you Nadia" he spoke softly.
"I'm better with him Lance" she replied softly. "I never really knew this is how it would be."
Lance laughed and pointed to the window. She turned to find his face pressed to the window, his fingers clawing at the glass. They laughed as someone pulled him away and sat him back in the stool mildly reprimanding him. He merely nodded.
"When does the promoting start?" Lance asked cautiously.
"A couple weeks" she replied quietly. "It's mostly radio stations and signings, some TV…" she trailed off.
"Are you going for any of it?" Lance asked cautiously.
"It's still under debate" she replied before her eyes drifted back toward him.
"It might be good for you to see him Nadia, so you can see a little bit of how it is" Lance's voice quiet, gentle.
"I know…" she trailed off.
"But?" Lance questioned, not letting her off.
She turned back to him. "I don't know Lance. I don't know what would be worse, to not know…or to know and be with him but not…" she started quietly.
Lance nodded slightly. "JC wouldn't let anyone tell him to hide you if he doesn't want to Nadia. It'll be more of what's comfortable for you than anything else" his voice quiet, telling.
"I'm used to not having to think about it Lance. We go out here and it's like…he's Josh, he isn't really JC. I mean a few people have seen him with me but…but away from here" she shrugged. "I don't know. I know it'll be different but, I don't know if I want it to be…or if I want it to be."
Lance nodded with a little sigh. "Talk to him more Nadia. At least let him know how you're feeling, even if he can't do anything about at least he'll know how you're feeling."
"I know, we've been talking about it more lately…it's creeping up fast…" she trailed off.
Lance paused a moment. "You know I heard a rumor about his cover is being nominated for MTV…" he started.
"What?" she eyed him curiously.
Lance nodded. "Song from a movie."
"Where'd you hear that from Lance?" she asked quietly.
He smiled. "I know people Nadia" he laughed softly.
She nudged him gently. "But I mean, seriously?" she asked meeting his eyes.
He nodded. "I haven't told him because…he wouldn't believe me until he hears it himself anyway, you know how he is" he smiled.
"It's still strange to hear it on the radio" she breathed out.
"Help" JC yelped before he was pulled back inside, and the door slammed shut.
She and Lance glanced at each other before laughing. "You're good for him Nadia" Lance smiled.
*
"So how was the big meeting?" she asked with a little chuckle.
"JC if you can't focus we're going to make her leave" he mimicked with a little laugh.
"Josh…" she started with a smile.
"I can't help it" he smiled, his eyes twinkling.
She laughed. "I know" she smiled.
"So we're leaving in two weeks and…" he started with a smile.
"You're leaving in two weeks Josh, I have yet to decide" she interjected as they stepped outside the building.
"Nadia…" he started.
"I know Josh, I'm thinking about it. You know…" she started.
"I want you to come" he interjected softly, his fingers winding through hers.
"I know you do Josh" she replied softly, squeezing his hand gently.
"But I don't always get what I want" he mumbled pouting his lip out.
"Not always Josh" she replied gently.
JC's…
"I know Josh" she smiled. "It's good you're getting excited about it. I'm sure everyone's anxious…" she started.
He reached behind her grabbing the pepper. "It's a little nerve wracking though" his voice a little quieter.
"They love you Josh, I've seen…" she started.
He placed his hands on her hips and moved her a step to the side before his eyes scanned through the cupboard. "I know, but it's different" he replied as he continued looking.
"How?" she asked pulling him away from his search.
"It's been…" he started quietly.
"They want you even more Josh. They want to see for themselves that you're really okay" she interjected softly.
"But…" he started quietly.
She smiled. "Josh, don't worry."
"Come with me" he breathed out.
"I…" she started.
He pulled her into his arms. "Come with me Nadia" his voice a whisper.
"It's your world Josh" she breathed out.
"And you're part of it" his voice quiet.

A week later, July 26, 2003…
"Alright start talking" Greg eyed her.
"There's nothing…" she started.
"Don't do it Nadia, I don't wanna have to hurt you" he eyed her. She grumbled. "I know, what a pain in the ass. But I know you" he gave a cautious smile.
She nodded. "I know Greg, but sometimes I really…" she trailed off.
"So tell me" he smiled knowingly.
She sighed quietly. "He wants me to go with him and I don't know if I want to…" she started.
"Why?" Greg interjected.
"I was getting there" she eyed him. He just laughed. She shook her head slightly. "It's not me Greg. It's not…I never wanted to be with somebody famous…" she started.
"But you fell in love with someone famous Nadia, you can't change that fact as much as you may want to" his voice quiet.
"I know, and I don't want to change him…I just don't know if I want to be seen that way" her voice quiet.
He was quiet a moment. "He's seen your world Nadia, he lived it. I understand what you're saying, but don't you think it's only fair to see what his is like" his voice quiet.
She sighed.
"Besides, I'm sure Josh isn't going to try to…heighten publicity on you two, at least not right now. He doesn't want every Tom, Dick and Harry following you two around" Greg added.
"I know" she replied quietly.
Justin and Shelby's…
"She won't, she's said no every time I try to bring it up" he sighed.
"JC, if she doesn't go, would it be the end of the world?" Justin asked cautiously.
He shook his head. "But I really wanted her to this time. It'd be easier for her to see this than to fly out in the middle of a real tour with everything three times as crazy and security…" he trailed off.
"Have you explained that to her?" Justin asked quietly.
"Not like that but I've asked so many times, I'm tired of asking" he replied quietly.
Justin nodded. "Maybe you should let her stay home at first, give her a little time…and then ask her out again" his voice quiet, his eyes twinkling with knowledge.
"Let her miss me first" JC replied knowingly. "I don't wanna play games Justin" JC replied quietly.
Justin nodded. "It's not the worst idea anyway JC. You'll be out in that situation for the first time in over a year…" he started cautiously.
"I can handle the pressure Justin…" he trailed off.
Nadia's (Dominic's)…
"Nadia" he called as the door closed behind him.
"In my room" she called. "I'll be down in a second though…" she trailed off.
"I'm coming up" he called as he started up the stairs. His eyes widened at the sight of her room. "What's going on?"
"Spring cleaning" she replied vaguely. "I have all this stuff that I never wear or do anything with anymore. I was just going to donate it somewhere" she explained. "So…" she started.
He took the sweater from her hands and set it on top of a box on the floor. "I'm not going to ask you again Nadia, after this…" he started quietly.
"I've been thinking…" she started.
He nodded. "I know, and I know I'm asking a lot, especially since I don't…" he started.
"Josh…" she started.
"…want you to lose your own life because of mine. But, I need you to come with me Nadia, I need you to see…" he continued.
"Josh, I'll come" she interjected.
"…what it's like for me. I want you to see…what?" he met her eyes.
"I said, I'll come with you" she replied softly. "Because I need to see your life…and I don't want to be away from you that long right now."
"Really?" he whispered.
"Really" she replied with a little nod.

A week later, August 3, 2003…
"I trust you Frank" JC held his eyes for a moment before patting his back and stepping past him.
Nadia walked past him, being pulled along, her hand linked with JC's. But she didn't miss the look of guilt in Frank's eyes.
"Window or aisle?" he asked.
"Whichever Josh, I'm not partial" she replied quietly.
"You sure?" he asked with a curious look.
"No Josh, I'm lying" she replied with a twinkle in her eyes.
"Too much time with Matt Nadia" he shook his head slightly, a smile on his lips as he scooted in to the window seat.
She laughed softly as she sat down. "Now this is nice" she smiled as she stretched her legs out.
He laughed. "You're a shortie, what would it matter to you" he teased.
She eyed him. "Dominic says good things come in small packages, and I for one take his word for truth."
He laughed softly and leaned over pressing a sound kiss to her cheek. He laughed harder at her shocked expression. He met her eyes. "There is nothing small about you Nadia" he spoke quietly.
She could feel the blush rising in her cheeks under his gaze. He smiled warmly. "Seatbelts" he chirped, his eyes dancing.
She eyed him curiously for a moment before linking her belt together and pulling it snug. "Will it always be like this Josh?" she asked quietly.
He smiled warmly at her. "In what way?" he asked curiously.
"Everyone seems, out of their minds and you're perfectly at ease, a little hyper but not stressed like they are" she motioned around her to his staff.
He smiled. "It's the first day, they want to start things off on a positive note. It's normal Nadia. It's okay" he reassured softly.
"And Frank, is he okay?" she asked cautiously.
"He's just a little tired Nadia. He's been working on planning this for me…" he trailed off.
New York…
"Oh my god" she breathed out as they approached.
The walk through the crowded airport was one thing. She'd handled it well. It wasn't so much people who'd waited to see him, but the mass of people in general and they'd gotten in and out with relative ease.
The hotel was something else. She knew his label was counting on big money from him the second she stepped in the lobby, crystal chandeliers, marble floors, plush couches…it all too much to take in with a once over.
The limo picking them up from the hotel was a surprise to her. He laughed softly at her expression. He smiled at her, the newness of the experience for her as she tinkered with everything.
But this had been completely unexpected, though perhaps it shouldn't have been. She knew there'd be people…she just didn't realize how many.
"Oh good lord" he shook his head.
"They've missed you" Maggie smiled warmly at him.
He tightened his hold on her hand and she turned, her eyes drifting slowly to his. "Where'd they all come from?" she breathed out as they crept forward an inch at a time.
He shrugged. "How'd they know what time I was coming?" he asked quietly.
"TRL has been planned JC, my guess is they've been here for hours" Frank replied quietly.
"So it's the exclusive first?" he asked curiously.
Maggie nodded. "Metta is first, I'm not positive how long but I committed you for at least a half hour. Then you'll have some down time before TRL. I'm sure they'd let you wander the studios if you wanted, show Nadia around a little" she smiled.
The driver laid on the horn abruptly and they all jumped a little as a windshield wiper was jerked off.
Nadia's grip tightened unconsciously and JC squeezed her hand gently. She met his eyes nervously. He smiled reassuringly. "It's okay Nadia, the police will push them all back to a safe distance."
"The police?" she questioned quietly.
"They're already here" Maggie replied.
The low rumble was getting louder and louder. Flashing lights could be seen all around them, camera flashes and police lights. The occasion wail of a police siren in warning sounded.
She'd never felt more out of her element than the moment the limo door was opened. JC grabbed her hand and she lifted her eyes to his. "It's okay Nadia. Smile and don't stop" his voice was drown out by the screams but she knew what he'd said and nodded. "Are you okay?" his voice barely audible as he'd leaned forward. She kissed his cheek and he smiled as he pulled back.
Frank stepped out first followed by a couple security guards and the second JC's foot appeared the screams went from glass shattering to ear piercing. Nadia followed then Maggie.
She could hardly believe the mass of people, not because she felt he wasn't talented, and not because she couldn't see how some were followers for more aesthetic reasons, but there were just so many of them, it was completely overwhelming.
The second they were in the building and secure he turned around and pulled her aside. "Still breathing?" he asked quietly, finding her eyes.
She nodded after a second. "Will they be like that everywhere we go?" she asked quietly.
"If they know I'm coming, there's usually people there…this is more because it's MTV" he spoke quietly, his tone reassuring.
They started walking again. She smiled after a moment. "Don't get me wrong Josh but that's crazy, I'd never stand out there like that just to maybe catch a glimpse of your arm" she shook her head slightly.
Frank and Maggie laughed lightly. JC nodded with a smile. "I know" he replied quietly. That is why you have me and none of them do. I'm real to you. I'm fallible and human…and you're still here…
"I mean, it's nearly 90 degrees out today, are they gonna be okay out there carrying on like that?" her voice quieter, concern in her eyes.
Frank turned and met her eyes. "The cops will break it up soon or spray them down" his voice quiet. "They'll be alright Nadia" he reassured.
They stepped into an elevator and rode it up in relative silence. He kept glancing at her to see what she was doing, or thinking, and she'd give him a little smile. He knew she was nervous in their surroundings but that she was trying for him made him love her all the more.
Frank and Maggie went ahead to check in with whom ever it was they were checking in with and the two of them sat in a small waiting area. "Are you okay?" he asked gently, spying her knee bobbing slightly.
She nodded before meeting his eyes. "Does it get lonely?" her voice quiet.
That she had tapped into that so quickly is what took him back the most. He nodded slightly. "You're constantly surrounded by people, but it's…it's like they just take up space after awhile" he replied quietly.
"I was just thinking…" she trailed off.
"Okay, we're ready to go" Frank smiled.
They walked down several corridors until they reached a couple open doors. His guards went for one right away, picking up paper cups and eyeing food platters as he motioned her with him into the other one, Frank and Maggie following.
"Metta will be by in about ten minutes, they just called her" Maggie explained as he shrugged off his jacket and glanced around the room, finding the back of a chair the only suitable place for it.
"Will it be in here?" JC asked curiously as he continued taking in the room.
"Probably, I'm thinking there" Maggie pointed to the far end of the room where a couch and several chairs were set up, the light was warm there, it looked cozy.
He nodded. "She's not going to…" he started more seriously.
"JC, you may have been out awhile but you know we can't tell them they can't ask. It's your prerogative to answer the way you want to though" Frank replied quietly.
He nodded. "TRL is right after this?" he asked.
"You'll have a little over an hour unless you go over with her" Maggie replied gently.
He nodded. "You did good" he smiled at Maggie. That's enough time that I could go over but not so much that I couldn't not if I don't want to, with sound check and…
She laughed softly. "I know, I know, that's why I get the big bucks" her eyes twinkled. All of them laughed at that.
"Can you give me a minute?" JC looked to them and they all but beat each other down getting to the door.
He laughed softly before he turned to find her eyes taking everything in. "Are you wishing you'd stayed home?" he asked quietly as he stepped toward her.
Her head turned slowly to find his eyes. "No" she replied quietly.
"But?"
She shrugged slightly. "It's all a lot to take in Josh" she replied quietly. "I almost feel like I'm still in the airport…" she started.
He smiled softly. "I wish we were still on the plane" his voice almost a whisper as he stepped to her, his hands planting firmly on her hips.
Her arms slid up over his shoulders as his closed around her. He breathed her in for a moment. "Thank you for coming" his voice a whisper.
She nodded slightly, her hold on him a little tighter.
"We'll talk more later" his voice a whisper.
"I know" she replied quietly. "It's okay."
"I have to let go" he breathed out, his hold tighter on her.
"They'll be here soon" she whispered, not letting him go.
*
The camera behind her stared at him, there were two others in the room as well. It was a little unnecessary in his opinion but he wasn't about to say anything of the sort. He'd heard nothing but good things of her from Justin so that made him a little less…cautious of her.
"Are you comfortable?" she asked with a smile.
He nodded with a smile. "Ready when you are" he replied.
She nodded cueing the camera operators and smiled giving a little introduction. "How are you doing today JC?" she asked with a smile.
"I'm well, glad to be back, and you?" he asked with a smile.
"Great thanks" she replied with a smile. "This is your first interview since the accident is that correct?"
"It's the first formal one" he replied with a nod. "I've answered the odd question here and there though."
"Can you tell me what happened?" she asked gently.
He nodded, remaining quiet for a moment. "I was on my way out from a rehearsal last April. We never really did find out the specifics but somehow one of the lights hadn't been rigged correctly…" he started.
"So it was a light that actually fell?" she interjected gently.
He shook his head slightly. "First it's not like a lamp light, like one in here. That might have knocked me out but it wouldn't have incapacitated me in the way I was. Stage lights are completely different, I'm sure you know…" he started.
She nodded.
"It was the actual rigging and frames from one of the light sets that fell" he explained quietly.
"There were so many rumors right after, you quite obviously haven't left us" she smiled, "but there were rumors of permanent paralysis…" she started. He nodded. "…people were saying you'd never come back" her voice quieter, "how do you feel about that?"
He was quiet a moment before he met her eyes. "There was a very real possibility of permanent paralysis, as you put it. I had an excellent team of doctors working with me and friends I never would've pulled through without. I was lucky…" he paused a moment. "As far as me never coming back, I think I always would've had my hand in music. I probably would've started producing more."
"You've finished your album" she smiled. "Any word on touring?"
He smiled. "Everything is fairly tentative right now. There will be a tour, don't get me wrong" he reassured with a smile. "There are a few things back home I have to take care of first though."
"Have you found people treat you differently now?" she asked cautiously.
He paused for a moment. "I think it's that people don't really know how to react. Some don't believe that I was ever really…injured, but that's not something to lie or joke about. I'm just thankful to be where I am now, and able to walk it on my own" his voice quiet, his eyes hauntingly truthful.
"You are okay now then?" she asked gently.
He smiled. "There are still some things I shouldn't do, but as far as normal functioning goes, I'm perfectly fine now" he replied reassuringly.
"You mentioned earlier friends who've helped pull you through…" she left it wide open.
He smiled politely. "My family was very supportive. I'm sure my mom would've moved in with me if I'd let her…the people who were there and kept me going know who they are. They know I wouldn't be here now if I hadn't had their support" he replied quietly.
She paused for a moment. "At the time of your accident, you were said to be seeing someone…" she left it wide open.
He nodded slightly. "Things with her didn't really work out" he replied quietly.
"And now?" the caution in her eyes spoke more than her confidant tone of voice.
He smiled. "Are you asking for a date?"
The camera crew chuckled as she blushed and shook her head.
He smiled. "Sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you" his tone sincere.
She nodded slightly. "This album…" she started intending on leaving the subject.
"I actually am…involved. But that's about all I'll say on the subject right now" he interjected quietly with a smile.
Her mouth opened slightly for a moment. "About all?" she asked with renewed interest.
He nodded with a smile.
"A name?" she asked knowing he'd never give it.
He laughed softly. "Not even you expected an answer to that one Metta" he smiled.
She nodded with a smile. "Is she known?" she asked curiously.
"To the people who matter, yes" he replied with a soft smile.
"Okay, is she famous?" she asked, giving him a 'you know what I meant' look.
"To the general public, no" he replied with a twinkle in his eyes.
"Can you describe her at all?" she asked, not really expecting an answer.
He was quiet a moment. "She's the reason I'm sitting here today. She's just amazing" he replied quietly.
She nodded slightly. "This album is said to be a little darker…" she led.
He nodded slightly. "Some of it was written while I was recovering…it's the most personal album I've done to date. But it's not all gloom, it's just a little deeper" he reassured with a smile.
Chapter Twenty-Seven