fuck
so I'm back in Philly. its 10:30 in the morning and my mom's already drunk. she is sitting in the car in front of the house. she is still pulling the same old routine,"I'm going to do errands" then its off to the liqour store, pick up some vodka or smirnoff ice, get in the car, park in an allyway, chug vodka for ten minutes then back to the house.
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"god, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference"
first of all, you say THAT.
then you remember how no one could have saved you from your alcoholism. No one could have cheered you up enough, or made things clearer to you. You had to be ready and then go to god. Its the same with your mother. There is nothing you can do for her--EXCEPT--be there for her when and if she decided to get sober.
Until then, your sobriety is the most important thing. And remember, anything that threatens your serenity threatens your sobriety. you dont sound too serene. go to a meeting.
I'll pray for you...
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