Birthing Homework
As part of this class cuddlyeconomist and I are taking, we were asked to write a letter to the unborn baby.
Dear Baby:
On what is hopefully the last rainy day of the summer, I sit down to write a letter to you, and find that I’m not sure where to begin. What’s the right way to start a letter to someone who will be the most important person in your entire life that you’ve not yet met? Your Mom already loves you intensely, and while we have both been with you since the beginning--which itself is a story for another time--she’s already begun a relationship with you in a profound and intimate way. She has also been through this before with your brother, Rhys, and while every child is a unique and special experience she’s already a Parent with a capital-P. Rhys has taught me some of what it means to be a parent over the years since I met your Mom, and I’m grateful for the head-start on what 2017 and beyond is going to be like with you once we get past the toddler years. The good news is this is also your first time through babyhood, so we can figure it out together.
So what advice can I give to you from day one in the world? Don’t bite the hand that feeds you. Don’t pee where you sleep. Don’t put anything in your mouth bigger than your head. Unfortunately, these are likely to be the kind of things babies do daily, but there’s no lesson like the one you learn yourself. Whatever happens I’ll be there to catch you when you fall, protect you from the things that are really bad, hold you when you are upset, and have a really awesome emergency kit available and handy for the rest of the time.
Both Mom and I have a ridiculous range of knowledge and areas of interest to share, and what we don’t know we can look up on the Internet--your Mom practically lives on Wikipedia. We know a lot of great books. We have some fun music to share. We have some very cool games. There’s a ton of great movies to see, subjects to learn, and discussions to be had. We are going to be your ace-up-your-sleeve when you get to most subjects in school. Just be prepared for the fact that your Mom is a Professor at heart and I’m a chronic over-explainer. Your first sentence should really be “Okay, that’s enough.”
In exchange for putting up with some really weird people as your parents, you do get something in return: we are damn funny. We come from funny stock, and are fully equipped to fill your life with humor, dark sarcasm, hilarious one-liners, and quotes from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. The main thing to remember is that if we pick on you too much, you should make sure to tell us when we’ve gone too far. My own family of origin didn’t always notice when the push for funny turned a bit too personal, and I hope to find a way to soften those hard edges in your life.
Also, while we are on the topic, if you ever feel like your Mom and I are putting you ‘in the middle’, feel free to tell us to get a shrink. You have enough on your plate growing up and filling your head with the accumulated knowledge of an entire species, you don’t need to also feel like you have to be our parents. While there are definitely some downsides to having parents that are a bit older like not being up to running around quite as much as you might like, it does mean you don’t have to see us in our own messy process of learning who we are that isn’t quite done by the time you are in your 20s.
I can’t promise that life will be easy, but you are blessed with a great start and both your Mom and I will be there for you every step of the way.
Love,
Dad
Dear Baby:
On what is hopefully the last rainy day of the summer, I sit down to write a letter to you, and find that I’m not sure where to begin. What’s the right way to start a letter to someone who will be the most important person in your entire life that you’ve not yet met? Your Mom already loves you intensely, and while we have both been with you since the beginning--which itself is a story for another time--she’s already begun a relationship with you in a profound and intimate way. She has also been through this before with your brother, Rhys, and while every child is a unique and special experience she’s already a Parent with a capital-P. Rhys has taught me some of what it means to be a parent over the years since I met your Mom, and I’m grateful for the head-start on what 2017 and beyond is going to be like with you once we get past the toddler years. The good news is this is also your first time through babyhood, so we can figure it out together.
So what advice can I give to you from day one in the world? Don’t bite the hand that feeds you. Don’t pee where you sleep. Don’t put anything in your mouth bigger than your head. Unfortunately, these are likely to be the kind of things babies do daily, but there’s no lesson like the one you learn yourself. Whatever happens I’ll be there to catch you when you fall, protect you from the things that are really bad, hold you when you are upset, and have a really awesome emergency kit available and handy for the rest of the time.
Both Mom and I have a ridiculous range of knowledge and areas of interest to share, and what we don’t know we can look up on the Internet--your Mom practically lives on Wikipedia. We know a lot of great books. We have some fun music to share. We have some very cool games. There’s a ton of great movies to see, subjects to learn, and discussions to be had. We are going to be your ace-up-your-sleeve when you get to most subjects in school. Just be prepared for the fact that your Mom is a Professor at heart and I’m a chronic over-explainer. Your first sentence should really be “Okay, that’s enough.”
In exchange for putting up with some really weird people as your parents, you do get something in return: we are damn funny. We come from funny stock, and are fully equipped to fill your life with humor, dark sarcasm, hilarious one-liners, and quotes from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. The main thing to remember is that if we pick on you too much, you should make sure to tell us when we’ve gone too far. My own family of origin didn’t always notice when the push for funny turned a bit too personal, and I hope to find a way to soften those hard edges in your life.
Also, while we are on the topic, if you ever feel like your Mom and I are putting you ‘in the middle’, feel free to tell us to get a shrink. You have enough on your plate growing up and filling your head with the accumulated knowledge of an entire species, you don’t need to also feel like you have to be our parents. While there are definitely some downsides to having parents that are a bit older like not being up to running around quite as much as you might like, it does mean you don’t have to see us in our own messy process of learning who we are that isn’t quite done by the time you are in your 20s.
I can’t promise that life will be easy, but you are blessed with a great start and both your Mom and I will be there for you every step of the way.
Love,
Dad