Q&A Time
I asked many of you to ask me five questions, usually since you'd asked me to ask you to ask me. Now I have answers!
Carolyn queried:
1. Do you ever regret not going to Nicaragua? Do you think you will in the future?
At the moment I don't regret it at all. In the final weeks of August, it was beginning to increasingly feel like I was going out of a sense of obligation and not the same enterprising spirit of adventure that had first compelled me to sign up for it way back when. It seems like if I'd gone ahead with it in that state of mind, I would have been betraying myself -- and to thine own self we must always be true.
As to if I'll ever end up regretting it in the future: if I knew what the future held, I'd be a highly successful commodities trader.
2. What made you go into Library Sciences... or whatever they're called? (And don't just say books)
Books...oh wait, nevermind. I'd always thought that librarians were pretty cool folks. Before the days of the Internet, they were sort of the all-knowing oracle to which you would go with whatever pedantic question or stupid argument you had. Now you just Google it or hit up Wikipedia. Even modern librarianship seems to fit in with my own interests in a lot of respects. There's a lot of emphasis on information technology and database administration, which pleases the geek in me. You still need to know your books, which seems like a fine thing to get paid for. Usually there's a little bit of classwork on the nature of information, data architecture, and cool philosophical stuff that amuses and intrigues me. You're part of academia, but you don't spend six years and lose your soul in the process. Also it's a job that, at least tenuously, involves giving back to the community and making a difference.
3. Is your life anywhere near what you thought it would be 5 years ago? What did you expect to happen?
Five years ago I was gunning to be a History/PolySci double major slated to graduate in about 2005, so I effectively graduated a year later with half the degree. I don't think I ever had a particularly clear idea what I was going to do after I graduated (still don't!), though back in the day I do recall repeated fantasies of becoming a doctor. Avoiding all possible science classes and not joining the National Guard Medical Reserve Program (in light of that whole war on terrorism thing) deep-sixed that dream pretty well.
4. Where would you like to be wounded on Fri night?
I'm thinking the leg and possibly the neck for good measure. On Sunday, Elise and I had a brief discussion on the mechanics of making it appear that a hacky-sack had been lodged in my gooey undead flesh.
5. Do you think anything from your past has truly traumatized you or fucked you up hardcore? If so, what and how?
Sadly, I lack a single traumatic experience to blame everything on.
------------
Elise inquired:
1. I've bombarded you with countless types of cheese. Which has been your all-time favorite?
One of the illicit French cheeses you had smuggled in -- I forget the name of it since, well, it was probably in French -- was cool just because it went through about three distinct flavors as you tasted it. I never really understood how food or wine snobs could talk about how something had a such-and-such opening to a something-and-something body and a crisp blah-de-blah finish until I tasted that, where for whatever reason it just seemed like all the individual flavors were right there in front of me. And what tasty flavors they were!
2. In light of our Civ4 playing, which leader best personifies you, personally? Why?
I'd pick Mao. He's very methodical, generally peaceful, fairly scientific, but a pain in the ass if you end up in a scuffle with.
3. Drawing upon Leon's question, describe (in detail) your ideal meal.
I'm a big ribs fan, so we're gonna need a full rack of juicy pork ribs with a rich, sweet sauce. Tony Roma's has the best BBQ rib sauce for my money, so let's go with theirs. They should be grilled, a touch to the rare side, with a hint of mesquite or chicory or somesuch for flavor. Next to that we're having a baked potato -- preferably one of those giant ones that looks like an artillery shell -- that's fully loaded with every fixing known to man and cooked to the point where it basically falls apart when you cut it open. What the hell, let's make it a twice-baked potato whule we're fantasizing. Next we're going to have some cornbread, baked from scratch so it's sweet and soft. For another side we're going to do some chili (just a cup will do), heavy on the beans, onions, and meat, spicy enough that you can taste it, and with just a hint of garlic in the flavor. And to wash down this feast, we'll need approximately one quart of 2% milk and a standard issue 12oz drinking glass.
4. What is the first thing you notice about someone? (This is a two part question, referring to people you already know AND people you have just met).
Usually it's the way they talk: long Faulkner sentences, short Hemingway sentences, big words, small words, confidently, hesitantly, etc. For people I know, it's usually a good indicator of their mood on that given day. For new people, it gives me a good indicator as to their personality. If I ever meet a mute, I'm basically screwed.
5. Who do you like more: your mom or your dad?
Throughout history, the balance of power has shifted between the two many times. As much as I am my dad's son in a staggering number of ways, I think I probably "like" my mom more. She's always had this strange respect for my own free will, but at the same time I know that I could call her at 4AM saying I'd been arrested for indecent exposure while trespassing on federal property in Alaska and she'd totally have my back, no questions asked. I imagine my dad would do the same, but it just feels more natural with my mom for some reason.
------------
Dane enquired:
1. Do you have a favorite novel at the moment?
My traditional favorite novel is 1984, which I've actually been meaning to dig up and re-read for a week or so now. I've fallen into this odd rut in the last few years where I constantly re-read bits and pieces of the four or five novels that I really like (1984, The Corrections, Infinite Jest, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series) and rarely read anything new. I think the last new novel I read on my own was the first Dark Tower book maybe eight or nine months ago. I should really start hitting up the library or something.
2. Whats your favorite type of wine and why?
Lately I've become a big fan of prosecco, which is a sparkling Italian wine not unlike champagne. It's very light, eminently drinkable, generally affordable, and apparently popular amongst yuppies and faux wine connoisseurs alike. It also doesn't get me as tragically hung over as most other wines do too, which is a big plus.
3. Describe yourself in a RPG character sheet. You can use any system you wish, and you can go into as little or as much detail as you wish.
Name: Nick "The Slick" Steffel
Level: 10
STR: 5
AGI: 5
END: 7
PER: 7
CHA: 9
INT: 9
LUCK: 6
Traits: Gifted, Good Natured
Perks: Awareness, Smooth Talker, Empathy
Tagged Skills: Speech, Barter, Outdoorsman
Possessions: About 700 chits, a large knife, assorted books, a tool, a wrench, rope, Mirrored Sunglasses (for +1 CHA!), some Mentats "for emergencies," a First Aid Kit.
4. Have you ever had any paranormal experiences?
The closest thing I've ever had to a paranormal experience came when Erin, Alex and I explored this old sanitarium up near Bemidji last winter. It was off of a lake, hence there was a pretty stiff wind coming onshore and through where presumably the windows to the building had once been. I was off on my own exploring on the second floor when I entered this biggish room on the lakeward side of the building, and that omnipresent wind just suddenly cut out and I got a really eerie feeling (as if exploring an abandoned sanitarium wasn't creepy enough). I left the room and boom, the wind started right up again.
The last place I lived (1108 4th Street) felt vaguely haunted as well. There were occasional weird noises at night that sounded like people walking around my living room and opening the bathroom door and so on. It also just had a weird vibe that no other place I've ever lived had.
5. How would the world be different if we were still enemies?
I'm a big fan of Butterfly Theory, so I like to think that animosity between us would somehow lead to mass genocide or thermonuclear war (or why not both!) or something. More realistically, I think that there would be no epic poems of your valorous deeds in the commons, no cherished memories of long nights of Diplomacy, RISK, or various roleplaying enterprises, no love of Clone High (for me, at least). I wouldn't know your pleasant little family or remember your awesome bigass dog. You also wouldn't have asked me these questions, which presents a delightful little situation whereby liking you enables you to ask about not liking you but not liking you would never have enabled you to ask why.
------------
Leon wondered:
1) If you could create a new fusion genre of music, what would it sound like and what existing genres would you draw from?
Remember the Hullabalooza episode of The Simpsons where Cypress Hill does Insane in the Brain with the London Symphony Orchestra for about five seconds? I've always thought that some sort of hip-hop/classical fusion would be sweet, particularly with something like a string quartet and maybe some percussionists backing a rapper. Conversely, I think it'd be cool to have an opera singer or a choir sing (or hell, even lay down some rhymes) with a beat backing them up.
2) If, one year ago, someone had told you that your current life would be what it is today, what would your reaction have been?
I'd probably be pretty disappointed that I was working a normal job and that I wasn't in graduate school, something which is even a little disappointing right here and now. I'd have laughed at the idea of having a girlfriend, much less one I was living with. I'd probably have been surprised that I was accepted to the Peace Corps but ultimately backed out -- I don't normally cut and run. I'd kick my ass for being so deep in debt too; a year ago was about when I got my first credit card, which is now about 90% of the way to being maxed out. I would probably also express dismay at my future self for letting his bike get stolen.
3) What is the most excruciating physical pain you've ever felt?
For no reason whatsoever in junior high school, I was stricken with hemorrhoids. This was immensely painful and immensely awkward since I was about fourteen, and didn't really feel like asking my dad "why does my asshole feel like it's packed with shards of broken glass?" I rode it out the old fashioned way (it took a good two weeks to heal up fully) and personally thank God I haven't had them since.
4) Let's say that, for one day, you have unlimited money and resources, and are free from legal and social constraints of any kind. Whatever you did on this day would be forgotten the next day by everyone in the world but you, and any physical traces (including things you bought) would be gone. What would you do?
I'd like to go up to some random strangers on the street and hand them a steel briefcase containing a gun, a large sum of money, a cell phone, fake papers, and some sort of ambiguous technological doodad -- I'd do it like a handoff in the movies, as in accidentally bump into them and switch their case with mine or somesuch -- and embroil them in a real-life spy thriller that they didn't know a single thing about. They'd inevitably protest when I first switched cases with them, but I'd just ignore them and start rambling about how Agent Miller went rogue and how my hapless bystander was now all that stood between the Trilateral Commission and the Omnicron Holocron, and how the Holocron's theft would lead to completion of the Bryson Sphere and the doom of mankind. I'd keep trying people until I found someone willing to play along, at which point I'd go all out -- dead drops of clues, random antagonizing phone calls, assassination attempts, impressive car chases with explosions and gross damage to property, vehicles, and persons alike. Who wouldn't like to be confused with an international superspy for a day?
5) If you had to spend the rest of your life on an island with one of your family members, who would it be?
I think I'd pick my sister. I've always been immensely curious what she'll be like when she's older, so stranding her on an island with me would leave me with little else to do but watch her evolve.
------------
Dan questioned:
1. If you could meet any musician (past or present, or I suppose future if you wish) who would it be? Keep in mind, someone like Mozart doesn't speak English.
It'd be pretty sweet to meet John Lennon -- I'd even take later years Yoko-loving Double Fantasy-producing John Lennon. While he was certainly a good musician (Double Fantasy aside), he'd be more awesome to meet for his personality and pseudo-philosophical nature. Plus he speaks English, so hey, sweet deal.
2. If you were a tree, what type of tree would you *not* be?
A crab apple tree. I hate crab apple trees -- I can't even enjoy them when they're blossoming since I know that, inevitably, those flowers will eventually bear crappy little unusable apples that will do nothing but rot on the branch or rot on the ground. I can state with far confidence that were I to be cursed by a wizard to spend the rest of my life as a crab apple tree, I would choose to take my own life by refusing to photosynthesize or something.
3. You get to force everyone to read one book of you choosing. Which book be it?
Status Anxiety by Alain de Botton. It's a brilliant and incredibly easy to read book that calmly explains what's wrong with society (too much anxiety over our relative status to other people) and how we can go about fixing it (if my memory serves, the solutions are philosophy, art, religion, bohemia, and politics). Not only is it a great commentary on society, but it's a flawlessly constructed argument presented very persuasively -- one of the best written books I've ever read.
4. If you could instantly learn one language that you don't know now, what would it be?
Latin. First, I'm told (and you can probably back this up) that it's an immense pain in the ass to learn. Declensions and conjugations out the ass. If I'm going to get a InstaLanguage card, I'm going to spend it on something hard. Second, it's becoming increasingly apparent that Latin is fundamental to any level of graduate study in medieval history. Few people in this world need to know Latin, but I just might.
5. You are thrown into the world of Fallout RPG, but luckily you gain some knowledge to help you out, which skills would you tag?
Now while Dane got the tagged skills that I think I most closely embody currently, what skills I'd tag if I had my choice and survival was on the line is an entirely different matter. I'd still tag Speech since it's pretty much critical to successful interaction with other characters. I'd probably tag small guns since it's a pretty solid all-around way to ensure my safety as well as a certain level of badassery. For the third wildcard option, I think I'd take Lockpick. It's useful for sneaking around and bypassing certain troublesome areas, plus it affords one access to all sorts of goodies to be discreetly removed from footlockers, protected rooms, and so on.
------------
Mike deigned to ask:
1. When do you think the great empire of the United States will fall?
Both the Roman Republic and the Roman Empire lasted about 500 years before being overthrown -- I'd give us a little less time since things move a little faster nowadays, maybe 350 years or so. You heard it here first folks, the ship goes down in the early 22nd century!
2. If you could play any instrument that you don't already play what would it be?
I'd like to play drums quite a bit, and there's few things more annoying in this world than someone learning to play the drums.
3. You're on top of a very tall building and a man has a gun to your head. Would you rather get shot to death or fall to your death?
I think I'd jump -- that sort of freefall would admittedly be a pretty fun way to spend my last moments of existence. Assuming someone is pointing a gun to my head at a relatively short range, I might just try to fling the other fella of the roof while I'm at it. Even if he managed to shoot me during freefall, I'd be at peace with dying in a scene that felt like it was taken from The Matrix.
4. If you had to have a mental illness what one would you have?
Synesthesia is technically characterized as a mental illness, though that feels a bit like a cop-out. Having multiple personality disorder but being in control of it (thanks to therapy or drugs or whatever) would be pretty awesome; having it but lacking control, however, would probably be notably less awesome.
5. Hurray! You get to have an extra appendage. What do you get and why?
Sweet! I'd take a third arm set against the back of my head. It'd be convenient for grabbing things slightly out of reach of my "normal" arms, plus it would give me a decent range of motion around my back and head. The possibilities would be endless!
If you desire questions, leave a comment. Mr. Egbert, I shall leave yours in a comment too as soon as I cook them up.
Carolyn queried:
1. Do you ever regret not going to Nicaragua? Do you think you will in the future?
At the moment I don't regret it at all. In the final weeks of August, it was beginning to increasingly feel like I was going out of a sense of obligation and not the same enterprising spirit of adventure that had first compelled me to sign up for it way back when. It seems like if I'd gone ahead with it in that state of mind, I would have been betraying myself -- and to thine own self we must always be true.
As to if I'll ever end up regretting it in the future: if I knew what the future held, I'd be a highly successful commodities trader.
2. What made you go into Library Sciences... or whatever they're called? (And don't just say books)
Books...oh wait, nevermind. I'd always thought that librarians were pretty cool folks. Before the days of the Internet, they were sort of the all-knowing oracle to which you would go with whatever pedantic question or stupid argument you had. Now you just Google it or hit up Wikipedia. Even modern librarianship seems to fit in with my own interests in a lot of respects. There's a lot of emphasis on information technology and database administration, which pleases the geek in me. You still need to know your books, which seems like a fine thing to get paid for. Usually there's a little bit of classwork on the nature of information, data architecture, and cool philosophical stuff that amuses and intrigues me. You're part of academia, but you don't spend six years and lose your soul in the process. Also it's a job that, at least tenuously, involves giving back to the community and making a difference.
3. Is your life anywhere near what you thought it would be 5 years ago? What did you expect to happen?
Five years ago I was gunning to be a History/PolySci double major slated to graduate in about 2005, so I effectively graduated a year later with half the degree. I don't think I ever had a particularly clear idea what I was going to do after I graduated (still don't!), though back in the day I do recall repeated fantasies of becoming a doctor. Avoiding all possible science classes and not joining the National Guard Medical Reserve Program (in light of that whole war on terrorism thing) deep-sixed that dream pretty well.
4. Where would you like to be wounded on Fri night?
I'm thinking the leg and possibly the neck for good measure. On Sunday, Elise and I had a brief discussion on the mechanics of making it appear that a hacky-sack had been lodged in my gooey undead flesh.
5. Do you think anything from your past has truly traumatized you or fucked you up hardcore? If so, what and how?
Sadly, I lack a single traumatic experience to blame everything on.
------------
Elise inquired:
1. I've bombarded you with countless types of cheese. Which has been your all-time favorite?
One of the illicit French cheeses you had smuggled in -- I forget the name of it since, well, it was probably in French -- was cool just because it went through about three distinct flavors as you tasted it. I never really understood how food or wine snobs could talk about how something had a such-and-such opening to a something-and-something body and a crisp blah-de-blah finish until I tasted that, where for whatever reason it just seemed like all the individual flavors were right there in front of me. And what tasty flavors they were!
2. In light of our Civ4 playing, which leader best personifies you, personally? Why?
I'd pick Mao. He's very methodical, generally peaceful, fairly scientific, but a pain in the ass if you end up in a scuffle with.
3. Drawing upon Leon's question, describe (in detail) your ideal meal.
I'm a big ribs fan, so we're gonna need a full rack of juicy pork ribs with a rich, sweet sauce. Tony Roma's has the best BBQ rib sauce for my money, so let's go with theirs. They should be grilled, a touch to the rare side, with a hint of mesquite or chicory or somesuch for flavor. Next to that we're having a baked potato -- preferably one of those giant ones that looks like an artillery shell -- that's fully loaded with every fixing known to man and cooked to the point where it basically falls apart when you cut it open. What the hell, let's make it a twice-baked potato whule we're fantasizing. Next we're going to have some cornbread, baked from scratch so it's sweet and soft. For another side we're going to do some chili (just a cup will do), heavy on the beans, onions, and meat, spicy enough that you can taste it, and with just a hint of garlic in the flavor. And to wash down this feast, we'll need approximately one quart of 2% milk and a standard issue 12oz drinking glass.
4. What is the first thing you notice about someone? (This is a two part question, referring to people you already know AND people you have just met).
Usually it's the way they talk: long Faulkner sentences, short Hemingway sentences, big words, small words, confidently, hesitantly, etc. For people I know, it's usually a good indicator of their mood on that given day. For new people, it gives me a good indicator as to their personality. If I ever meet a mute, I'm basically screwed.
5. Who do you like more: your mom or your dad?
Throughout history, the balance of power has shifted between the two many times. As much as I am my dad's son in a staggering number of ways, I think I probably "like" my mom more. She's always had this strange respect for my own free will, but at the same time I know that I could call her at 4AM saying I'd been arrested for indecent exposure while trespassing on federal property in Alaska and she'd totally have my back, no questions asked. I imagine my dad would do the same, but it just feels more natural with my mom for some reason.
------------
Dane enquired:
1. Do you have a favorite novel at the moment?
My traditional favorite novel is 1984, which I've actually been meaning to dig up and re-read for a week or so now. I've fallen into this odd rut in the last few years where I constantly re-read bits and pieces of the four or five novels that I really like (1984, The Corrections, Infinite Jest, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series) and rarely read anything new. I think the last new novel I read on my own was the first Dark Tower book maybe eight or nine months ago. I should really start hitting up the library or something.
2. Whats your favorite type of wine and why?
Lately I've become a big fan of prosecco, which is a sparkling Italian wine not unlike champagne. It's very light, eminently drinkable, generally affordable, and apparently popular amongst yuppies and faux wine connoisseurs alike. It also doesn't get me as tragically hung over as most other wines do too, which is a big plus.
3. Describe yourself in a RPG character sheet. You can use any system you wish, and you can go into as little or as much detail as you wish.
Name: Nick "The Slick" Steffel
Level: 10
STR: 5
AGI: 5
END: 7
PER: 7
CHA: 9
INT: 9
LUCK: 6
Traits: Gifted, Good Natured
Perks: Awareness, Smooth Talker, Empathy
Tagged Skills: Speech, Barter, Outdoorsman
Possessions: About 700 chits, a large knife, assorted books, a tool, a wrench, rope, Mirrored Sunglasses (for +1 CHA!), some Mentats "for emergencies," a First Aid Kit.
4. Have you ever had any paranormal experiences?
The closest thing I've ever had to a paranormal experience came when Erin, Alex and I explored this old sanitarium up near Bemidji last winter. It was off of a lake, hence there was a pretty stiff wind coming onshore and through where presumably the windows to the building had once been. I was off on my own exploring on the second floor when I entered this biggish room on the lakeward side of the building, and that omnipresent wind just suddenly cut out and I got a really eerie feeling (as if exploring an abandoned sanitarium wasn't creepy enough). I left the room and boom, the wind started right up again.
The last place I lived (1108 4th Street) felt vaguely haunted as well. There were occasional weird noises at night that sounded like people walking around my living room and opening the bathroom door and so on. It also just had a weird vibe that no other place I've ever lived had.
5. How would the world be different if we were still enemies?
I'm a big fan of Butterfly Theory, so I like to think that animosity between us would somehow lead to mass genocide or thermonuclear war (or why not both!) or something. More realistically, I think that there would be no epic poems of your valorous deeds in the commons, no cherished memories of long nights of Diplomacy, RISK, or various roleplaying enterprises, no love of Clone High (for me, at least). I wouldn't know your pleasant little family or remember your awesome bigass dog. You also wouldn't have asked me these questions, which presents a delightful little situation whereby liking you enables you to ask about not liking you but not liking you would never have enabled you to ask why.
------------
Leon wondered:
1) If you could create a new fusion genre of music, what would it sound like and what existing genres would you draw from?
Remember the Hullabalooza episode of The Simpsons where Cypress Hill does Insane in the Brain with the London Symphony Orchestra for about five seconds? I've always thought that some sort of hip-hop/classical fusion would be sweet, particularly with something like a string quartet and maybe some percussionists backing a rapper. Conversely, I think it'd be cool to have an opera singer or a choir sing (or hell, even lay down some rhymes) with a beat backing them up.
2) If, one year ago, someone had told you that your current life would be what it is today, what would your reaction have been?
I'd probably be pretty disappointed that I was working a normal job and that I wasn't in graduate school, something which is even a little disappointing right here and now. I'd have laughed at the idea of having a girlfriend, much less one I was living with. I'd probably have been surprised that I was accepted to the Peace Corps but ultimately backed out -- I don't normally cut and run. I'd kick my ass for being so deep in debt too; a year ago was about when I got my first credit card, which is now about 90% of the way to being maxed out. I would probably also express dismay at my future self for letting his bike get stolen.
3) What is the most excruciating physical pain you've ever felt?
For no reason whatsoever in junior high school, I was stricken with hemorrhoids. This was immensely painful and immensely awkward since I was about fourteen, and didn't really feel like asking my dad "why does my asshole feel like it's packed with shards of broken glass?" I rode it out the old fashioned way (it took a good two weeks to heal up fully) and personally thank God I haven't had them since.
4) Let's say that, for one day, you have unlimited money and resources, and are free from legal and social constraints of any kind. Whatever you did on this day would be forgotten the next day by everyone in the world but you, and any physical traces (including things you bought) would be gone. What would you do?
I'd like to go up to some random strangers on the street and hand them a steel briefcase containing a gun, a large sum of money, a cell phone, fake papers, and some sort of ambiguous technological doodad -- I'd do it like a handoff in the movies, as in accidentally bump into them and switch their case with mine or somesuch -- and embroil them in a real-life spy thriller that they didn't know a single thing about. They'd inevitably protest when I first switched cases with them, but I'd just ignore them and start rambling about how Agent Miller went rogue and how my hapless bystander was now all that stood between the Trilateral Commission and the Omnicron Holocron, and how the Holocron's theft would lead to completion of the Bryson Sphere and the doom of mankind. I'd keep trying people until I found someone willing to play along, at which point I'd go all out -- dead drops of clues, random antagonizing phone calls, assassination attempts, impressive car chases with explosions and gross damage to property, vehicles, and persons alike. Who wouldn't like to be confused with an international superspy for a day?
5) If you had to spend the rest of your life on an island with one of your family members, who would it be?
I think I'd pick my sister. I've always been immensely curious what she'll be like when she's older, so stranding her on an island with me would leave me with little else to do but watch her evolve.
------------
Dan questioned:
1. If you could meet any musician (past or present, or I suppose future if you wish) who would it be? Keep in mind, someone like Mozart doesn't speak English.
It'd be pretty sweet to meet John Lennon -- I'd even take later years Yoko-loving Double Fantasy-producing John Lennon. While he was certainly a good musician (Double Fantasy aside), he'd be more awesome to meet for his personality and pseudo-philosophical nature. Plus he speaks English, so hey, sweet deal.
2. If you were a tree, what type of tree would you *not* be?
A crab apple tree. I hate crab apple trees -- I can't even enjoy them when they're blossoming since I know that, inevitably, those flowers will eventually bear crappy little unusable apples that will do nothing but rot on the branch or rot on the ground. I can state with far confidence that were I to be cursed by a wizard to spend the rest of my life as a crab apple tree, I would choose to take my own life by refusing to photosynthesize or something.
3. You get to force everyone to read one book of you choosing. Which book be it?
Status Anxiety by Alain de Botton. It's a brilliant and incredibly easy to read book that calmly explains what's wrong with society (too much anxiety over our relative status to other people) and how we can go about fixing it (if my memory serves, the solutions are philosophy, art, religion, bohemia, and politics). Not only is it a great commentary on society, but it's a flawlessly constructed argument presented very persuasively -- one of the best written books I've ever read.
4. If you could instantly learn one language that you don't know now, what would it be?
Latin. First, I'm told (and you can probably back this up) that it's an immense pain in the ass to learn. Declensions and conjugations out the ass. If I'm going to get a InstaLanguage card, I'm going to spend it on something hard. Second, it's becoming increasingly apparent that Latin is fundamental to any level of graduate study in medieval history. Few people in this world need to know Latin, but I just might.
5. You are thrown into the world of Fallout RPG, but luckily you gain some knowledge to help you out, which skills would you tag?
Now while Dane got the tagged skills that I think I most closely embody currently, what skills I'd tag if I had my choice and survival was on the line is an entirely different matter. I'd still tag Speech since it's pretty much critical to successful interaction with other characters. I'd probably tag small guns since it's a pretty solid all-around way to ensure my safety as well as a certain level of badassery. For the third wildcard option, I think I'd take Lockpick. It's useful for sneaking around and bypassing certain troublesome areas, plus it affords one access to all sorts of goodies to be discreetly removed from footlockers, protected rooms, and so on.
------------
Mike deigned to ask:
1. When do you think the great empire of the United States will fall?
Both the Roman Republic and the Roman Empire lasted about 500 years before being overthrown -- I'd give us a little less time since things move a little faster nowadays, maybe 350 years or so. You heard it here first folks, the ship goes down in the early 22nd century!
2. If you could play any instrument that you don't already play what would it be?
I'd like to play drums quite a bit, and there's few things more annoying in this world than someone learning to play the drums.
3. You're on top of a very tall building and a man has a gun to your head. Would you rather get shot to death or fall to your death?
I think I'd jump -- that sort of freefall would admittedly be a pretty fun way to spend my last moments of existence. Assuming someone is pointing a gun to my head at a relatively short range, I might just try to fling the other fella of the roof while I'm at it. Even if he managed to shoot me during freefall, I'd be at peace with dying in a scene that felt like it was taken from The Matrix.
4. If you had to have a mental illness what one would you have?
Synesthesia is technically characterized as a mental illness, though that feels a bit like a cop-out. Having multiple personality disorder but being in control of it (thanks to therapy or drugs or whatever) would be pretty awesome; having it but lacking control, however, would probably be notably less awesome.
5. Hurray! You get to have an extra appendage. What do you get and why?
Sweet! I'd take a third arm set against the back of my head. It'd be convenient for grabbing things slightly out of reach of my "normal" arms, plus it would give me a decent range of motion around my back and head. The possibilities would be endless!
If you desire questions, leave a comment. Mr. Egbert, I shall leave yours in a comment too as soon as I cook them up.