049) What's the difference?
Title: 049) What's the difference?
Pairing: Hangeng/Hangeng
Rating: PG-13 maybe
Summary: Hangeng and about the happenings he had to face
Warning: A bit of foul language, not-so-happy background, very short
2/100
049. What’s the difference? Hangeng/Hangeng 587 words
After my lawsuit incident, I always have seen those hateful comments on fans and me. I can cope with them who hate me. I have learnt that I can learn from critical comments to improve myself but emotionally strong negative comments are, most of the time, useless.
At first, I could not deal with those comments telling that I am ungrateful selfish Chink and the fans are tiny filthy bitches who are persecution maniacs. I knew that would happen to me but thoughts and actually facing it for real was different and I didn’t know that Geng fans would be the victims of these comments that seriously. I have seen betrayals, harm to the ones who care for me and who I care, lies, misinformation and cyber bullying.
I have heard about Kyuhyun’s cyworld writing. I knew that every member of super junior would be shocked, disappointed, and mad. So I just passed it quietly. I didn’t want anything to be more serious. Heechul’s depression. I feel sorry for not be able to visit him when he is not in a good condition. However, I am hoping that he understands me.. He is clever one unlike how he likes to appear on television shows as a drama queen.
Then, there was whole lot of rumours. About some non-existent relative of mine is willing to pay for me about the lawsuit, insults about Korea which I have never done. I want to meet who that person claiming to be my relative is. My family is not wealthy but more of an average, and was not in a good financial state until recently. Also, about the insults I have never made. Some were misinterpretation and I know that still lots of people in Korea believe that. Even Leeteuk believes some of those misinterpretations, I guess. I have heard that Leeteuk has written about one of the misinterpretation and about there is still a space left. I have never said something like the news is telling. I said ‘I didn’t know and I would call them whether they are fine. Actually, something like that happened to me as well but I dodged it before hitting me.’ And everyone knows that it will be almost impossible for me to work with super junior members again. I bet that Leeteuk knows that as well. He is a clever guy.
I know that those incidents had caused lots of hurt in the heart of Gengfans and the ones who support me. When they are trying to support me and defend me, they would gain lots of hates and swearing from other online users. It is sad to see them getting hurt due to me but I am also grateful to them for not letting go.
I wonder why all these things have happened when I am still me. Nothing has changed in me. I am still Han Geng from Heilongjiang, China. I am who I am. What is the difference? Did I change a lot? I still enjoys being on stage. I am still grateful at SM entertainment for letting be get the experience that I have never thought of. It’s just that I am now officially not in SM entertainment and working in China as a solo artist. Nothing has changed except that and when thought, China and Korea, both are in Asia and both are a nation in the Earth. I am still myself and I hope that others would understand that I didn’t change. There is no difference in me.
*The news and defending Hangeng thing is actually what I have observed from Korean webs. People who know nothing about him just believes what the articles say and they think of Hangeng as an ungrateful brat. At least that’s what my mother said to me directly. It is bitter to listen to your own family saying something like that to someone you like. Filthy bitches, lunatics who sell their nation. I have read others naming the ones who support Hangeng in their own way in Korea. Whenever they are trying to defend Hangeng about wrong articles with proper information, the others say that the fans are just making fake things to defend him. However, the funny thing is that most of those who insult the fans are writing those comments without logging on. What are they, cowards? I have stopped reading Korean news related to any entertainment related. I have started to block those people who say those things. I have cried and thought of erasing everything off but thought that is just running away. That is what those people who do not care about others feelings have done to a person. I want to ask everyone to think about others feelings before writing anything on internet. Thank you. Comments and corrections are appreciated.