A few LJ letters...
We'll get the most unpleasant out of the way first.
1) Dear Barry Bonds,
Yes, you got home run number 755 today. But remember, the only people that will rejoice with you are the members of your "entourage" that are afraid to disagree with you because they have first-hand experience with your infamous temper and the citizens of San Francisco (who obviously only support you because something that will be added to the record books is happening in their city). It will only be days until you hit number 756. Enjoy your glory now. Because the moment you open the record book and see the asterisk next to your name, it will disappear. And always remember: You are a dirty, dirty cheater. And history will remember you for that as well.
Continuing with baseball...
2) Dear A-Rod,
This letter will be someone less eloquent. You got your 500th home run today (yesterday). I'm going to the game Sunday. You suck.
3) Dear Weather,
Please stop being so goddamned HOT. I was supposed to mow the lawn days ago, but I refuse to if it's over 85 degrees. I'm sorry to blame you. I would write an angry letter to Global Warming, but most of the US doesn't believe in it, so I cannot find its address.
4) Dear iTunes,
Thank you for the free songs of the week. I'm particularly fond of every Spanish song I've found since I've had iTunes. They make me smile.
5) Dear Al Gore,
Please run for president. You know my reasons.
6) Dear Guy-Who-Played-Nancy-Drew's-Father-In-That-God-Awful-Movie-Where-Every-Other-Sentence-Mentioned-Some-Form-Of-The-Word-"Sleuth",
I KNEW I liked something about you. Thank you for accepting your duties as an older man that I am attracted to by playing the part of a gay man opposite Adam. I have moved on from being slightly attracted to you to being really attracted to you and slightly really jealous of you.
7) Dear Keith Olbermann,
Rock on.
8) Dear Billy Blanks,
You really need to put a warning on your videos. Something about how if you haven't done Tae Bo in over a year, you shouldn't do the whole thing in one shot right away. My back is killing me. Jerk. But you still rock. Even though you creep me out a bit.
Well kids... I'm off to do internet-ly things since I need to get up at 8:00am and that means I can't go to bed before 3:00am... weeeeeeeeeee.