LETTERS ADDRESSED TO THE TARDIS

Oct 16, 2010 22:37

MISS POND ( Read more... )

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Comments 96

iwearafeznow October 17 2010, 05:44:50 UTC
HEY.

I WENT TO VISIT YOU. I WENT TO VISIT YOU LAST WEEK. IT WASN'T MY FAULT YOU WERE DEAD.

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suitedforcoffee October 17 2010, 05:50:17 UTC
THIS ONLY CONFIRMS WHAT I SAID ABOUT YOUR TIMING. I WAS DEAD LAST WEEK. I'VE SINCE HAD A "WORD" WITH THE WRITERS.

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iwearafeznow October 17 2010, 05:53:38 UTC
WELL THEN YOU SHOULD'VE DIED A WEEK EARLIER SO YOU COULD'VE BEEN AROUND WHEN I WAS THERE.

...WHAT WAS AMY ORDERING, ANYWAY?

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suitedforcoffee October 17 2010, 05:58:13 UTC
LOOK, I'M HAVING ENOUGH TROUBLE WITH THIS WHOLE STAYING ALIVE THING WITHOUT BEING PICKY ABOUT THE SPECIFICS.

I DON'T KNOW, I DIDN'T PEEK. THE LABEL LOOKS SORT OF GIRLY AND ALIEN.

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iwearafeznow October 17 2010, 06:51:09 UTC
SO AMY

WOULD YOU LIKE A FEZ TO GO WITH THAT OUTFIT?

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tiemcockagent October 17 2010, 14:42:49 UTC
BUT SOMETIMES YOU FORGET AND I HAVE TO LOOK ELSEWHERE FOR LOVE ...

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suitedforcoffee October 17 2010, 16:13:27 UTC
I'M ONLY A 21ST-CENTURY HUMAN, JACK. IT'S NOT THAT I FORGET, IT'S THAT IT CAN BE REALLY HARD SOMETIMES TO GET IT UP FIVE TIMES IN ONE DAY, EVERY DAY. I UNDERSTAND IF YOU NEED TO...ER, SUPPLEMENT. JUST AS LONG AS YOU COME HOME WHEN YOU'RE DONE.

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tiemcockagent October 17 2010, 16:32:58 UTC
WELL YOU DON'T SEEM TO HAVE A PROBLEM GETTING IT UP RIGHT NOW. STRIKE WHILE THE IRON'S HOT, ANYONE?

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suitedforcoffee October 17 2010, 16:35:51 UTC
NOPE, NO PROBLEMS NOW. WHERE'S THE NEAREST FLAT SURFACE?

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adent_inspace October 17 2010, 16:19:53 UTC
PACKAGES. I MISS THOSE.

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suitedforcoffee October 17 2010, 16:36:58 UTC
PROBLEMS WITH DHL?

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adent_inspace October 17 2010, 21:29:05 UTC
WELL, YOU TEND NOT TO GET PACKAGES WHEN VIRTUALLY EVERYONE YOU KNOW HAS BLOWN UP. ALONG WITH DHL.

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suitedforcoffee October 18 2010, 02:16:20 UTC
I'M...SORRY? AT LEAST YOU KNOW THEY DIDN'T JUST KNOCK ON YOUR DOOR ONCE BEFORE IMMEDIATELY LEAVING NOTICE AND MOVING ON. IT'S LIKE A VINDICTIVE GAME OF TAG.

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doctor_three October 18 2010, 07:27:55 UTC
DEAR MR. IANTO JONES,

WRONG TARDIS.

I'M NOT TERRIBLY CERTAIN WHO YOU ARE BUTI WOULD LIKE TO SINCERELY APOLOGISE FOR ANY AND ALL OF MY FUTURE ACTIONS. CLEARLY I GET MORE SENILE AS WELL AS UNFASHIONABLE WITH AGE. IF I COULD STOP IT I WOULD BUT IT'S ONE OF THOSE UNCHANGEABLE TIME THINGS, YOU UNDERSTAND. IT'S CONFUSING AND SPHERICAL.

NEVERTHELESS, WHATEVER IT IS THAT I HAVE DONE WILL DO SHOULDN'T BE CAUSE FOR SUCH HORRENDUS JUDGEMENT. ALTHOUGH, LOOKING AT YOUR HANDWRITING, YOU SEEM LIKE A BIT OF A PRUDE SO WHATEVER IT IS THAT I HAVE DONE WILL DO, IT PROBABLY ISN'T MUCH. I WILL QUITE POSSIBLY ONLY SCREW WITH YOUR FILES OR MESS WITH YOUR TEA. LIGHTEN UP.

AND THE TARDIS DOESN'T LIKE CARDIFF VERY MUCH. NOT MY PROBLEM.

SINCERELY
THE DOCTOR.

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suitedforcoffee October 18 2010, 08:04:30 UTC
DEAR FORMER REGENERATION OF THE DOCTOR,

TERRIBLY SORRY ABOUT THE MIX UP. THESE THINGS TEND TO HAPPEN WHEN ONE SENDS POST THROUGH TIME. BUT NOW THAT WE'RE HERE, I FEEL WE SHOULD HAVE A CHAT ABOUT YOUR FUTURE BEHAVIOR. I UNDERSTAND THAT THERE ARE CERTAIN INEVITABLE CHANGES THAT COME WITH REGENERATION (SUCH AS SENILITY AND HORRIBLE TASTE IN CLOTHING), AND I DON'T USUALLY BEGRUDGE YOU THESE THINGS. HOWEVER, A TIME LORD WHO CAN NEVER SEEM TO SHOW UP ANYWHERE ON TIME OFFENDS MY SENSIBILITIES.

YOU WERE PREMATURE FOR MARTHA'S BIRTHDAY BY TWO WEEKS AND WHEN YOU SAY "WE'LL BE BACK IN FIVE SECONDS," YOU TEND TO MEAN FIVE MONTHS. I HAVE NO IDEA IF THIS IS A PERSONAL FAILING OR IF ALL YOUR SPECIES IS THIS IRONIC, BUT IF YOU CAN DO ANYTHING TO IMPROVE THE TIME NAVIGATION SKILLS OF YOUR FUTURE SELF, IT WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED.

FOR THE RECORD, JACK IS THE ONE WHO COCKS UP MY FILING AND WE DRINK COFFEE HERE, NOT TEA. NOT THAT YOU SEEM TO APPRECIATE MY COFFEE, WHICH ACTUALLY MAY OFFEND ME SLIGHTLY MORE THAN YOUR TIMING, BUT I'M NOT ( ... )

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doctor_three October 18 2010, 12:19:33 UTC
MR. JONES,

OUT OF ALL OF TIME AND SPACE, TWO WEEKS IS VERY CLOSE TO PRECISE. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW BIG INFINITY IS? NEITHER DO I BUT THAT'S HOW BIG THE VORTEX IS. AND IT'S SEEMINGLY ENDLESS.

I DON'T KNOW WHO MARTHA IS BUT I HOPE THAT I PASS ON MY SINCEREST APOLOGIES. SHE SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE THAT ATTACHES HERSELF RATHER EASILY TO PEOPLE.

I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I AM AN EXCELLENT PILOT. IT'S THE TIME THAT KEEPS CHANGING ON ME. IF YOU KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT - YOU KNOW WHAT? NEVER MIND.

COFFEE ISN'T MY PERSONAL DRINK OF CHOICE, NO. I'M GLAD TO HEAR THAT THERE'S ONE CONSISTANCY THROUGHOUT MY LONG, LONG LIFE. AND I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT THIS BOWTIE IS AMAZING. TOGTHER WITH MY RUFFLES, IT DAZZLES EVERYONE YOU WILL FIND NO OTHER LIKE IT.

THE DOCTOR.

PS: I WASN'T AWARE THAT ANYONE LIKED CARDIFF.

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suitedforcoffee October 19 2010, 00:19:45 UTC
DOCTOR,

WHILE I UNDERSTAND THE POINT YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE, I'M NOT BUYING IT. LONDON IS BIG AND UNNECESSARILY COMPLEX TOO, BUT WITH A LITTLE FORETHOUGHT, I STILL ALWAYS GOT WHERE I WAS GOING ON TIME. IT DOESN'T HELP MY SUSPICIONS THAT YOU CAN BE RIGHT ON THE NOSE -- BY SECONDS -- WHEN I TELL YOU I'VE JUST BREWED YOUR FAVORITE TEA.

I'LL EXTEND YOUR APOLOGIES TO MARTHA, BUT I STAND BY MY STATEMENT ABOUT YOUR BOWTIE...BOTH OF THEM.

-IANTO JONES

PS: OUCH. I FEEL OBLIGATED TO TAKE OFFENSE ON BEHALF OF MY NATION. SEE IF I SERVE YOU BISCUITS WITH YOUR TEA NEXT TIME.

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