Soap, crack!NC17, Shep/Weir
Summary: cracked fic co-authored with the talented comanche_rider upon a lovely sunday.. kinky (OK, even I have to admit this fits under the word.. but more for the humour factor than anything..) uses of soap and that big knife of his.... oh yes! and handcuffs (what?? I like handcuffs!)
Rating: darkish, crack!NC17
Authors: comanche_rider and wanderingsmith
Disclaimer: I ain't got no money, and nobody'd be daft enough to pay me for this.
AN: the good news is I can write smut again!... the bad news is it's with A LOT OF help and of the 'In a mirror: darkly' variety
Prompt: ~Of course, then there's all kinds of ideas that involve the gutter and soap. *cough* Elizabeth punishing John. *cough*
~Ohhh, and use that knife he's always displaying on his ass!
~think about the stutter in his dilated eyes the next time he has to pull that knife out against somebody...
~Ooo, he could save it to use on Koyla....
~"You touched my woman, you bastard! nobody threatens my Elizabeth and lives.. more than 3 years"
"I like a man who knows how to use his tools."
"Yeah? What does he get for a reward?"
"Ummm," she plastered herself to his chest, genteelly biting the side of his neck and listening with pleasure to his growl of response, her arms all the while sliding from the sides of his thighs to his ass. And then pulling his knife out of its sheath and pulling away against his attempt to hold her. She grinned at him wickedly as he stilled, watching with growing arousal as she brought his very sharp blade into the lowest opening between buttons of his shirt. And then oh so carefully slit the shirt open.
She pulled his attention back up, "He gets taken. Where are your handcuffs, colonel? If you're out of uniform, I might have to punish you."
"Well, I guess that depends on how you define 'uniform'." He licked his lips, handing her the cuffs.
Then she threw him back onto the bed, crawling on top of him and cuffing his hands to the rail. His shirt fell apart and she looked down at him appraisingly, smiling wickedly and grinding against him when she felt his very obvious arousal.
"Wait here, Colonel."
He moaned as she got up, watching her with dark eyes as she finally returned from the bathroom with a bar of soap in one hand and his knife still clutched leisurely in the other.
"I'm clean doctor.. really." Grinning at the husky tease, she put her tools on the bedside table, then stripped unabashedly as he watched, his hands jerking the cuffs as he automatically tried to reach for her.
Knowing he was watching, she slowly smoothed her hands up from her waist to cup her breast, hearing him moan as she flicked her nipples, rocking her hips forward in response. She watched his tautening pants as she glided her hands down to her pussy; as she dipped a finger in and brought it up to lick, her eyes raised to his, "If you want it, colonel.. then you have to be a good little puppy..."
Watching her avidly, his hips jerked slightly as he replied in a raspy voice. "Yes, Ma'am."
She smirked, moving onto him and brushing his cheek in a creepily wraith-like way.
"Open up, colonel."
He opened his mouth obligingly, and she placed the bar in his mouth. He choked, trying to spit it out until she gave him a disapproving look.
"Now now, not until I say so."
He tried to glare with injured dignity, but she wriggled down his body until a hotspot landed on the too-thin material of his slacks over his aroused cock. And as his eyes glazed and he panted around the obstruction in his mouth, she bent over him, his biceps tightening to try to get loose and play with the pale globes she swayed in front of his burning eyes. Completely missing her picking up his knife until she straightened, grinding down on him until she moaned right along with him.
Panting with momentary indecision, Elizabeth stared at the stubble on his cheek as her clit throbbed from the pressure being applied. As he jerked his hips up with a triumphant look for her completely distracted moan, she made her decision.
Crawling down past his zipper, she was still panting as she looked a challenge at him. It took her hand bringing into view his knife to jerk his attention back to the realization that he was at her mercy.
"'Li'th??" she grinned at the high pitch mumble as she very gently stroked the flat of the blade over the aroused flesh at her eye level.
As it flexed under the dangerous touch, she drawled, "You've been a good puppy, haven't you?"
He nodded jerkilly, keeping his hips deathly still.
"Then close your eyes."
He was shivering and waiting, wide open to pleasure or pain, when she wrapped her hand on him and he felt the cold metal slide under his waistband carefully. And then he was free, no more pressure keeping him kinked and in half-agony. He wanted to open his eyes and see where she was, what he was about to feel, but he knew better than to disobey *her* direct orders. Never mind punishment. Lack of reward was worse!
"Keeping those eyes closed like a good stud-puppy?" the sultry words came from right near his ear and now he felt the heat of her body a few inches over him as he tried to say, "Y's m'" through the mild soap getting way too soft in his panting mouth.
"Good." Elizabeth lined herself up from long practice and sat down with her very favorite -hot and alive and *loud*- sex toy firmly inserted. Oh yes, much better. She waited for him to stop bucking and trying to trust, silently watching his obediently closed eyes and making sure he didn't bite through the soap. Biting her lip to keep from moaning at the stimulation.
Once he stilled with a drowned whimper, she leaned over, running the blade on the soap to make a curl and smear it slick, "Now be a good still puppy or that pretty nose is going to get nicked."
"Y's m." He mumbled, breathing heavily, fighting to keep his eyes closed. She smirked and brought the blade to his chin, pressing down slightly, then moving it upward. Flakes of his stubble were separated from his face as the cool metal slid smoothly along his skin.
Elizabeth leaned down and whispered without stopping, "Don't worry, stud-puppy. This is only the appetizer."
He groaned around the soap, having to concentrate ridiculously hard to stay still.
Reward. There were rewards for good puppies. Like the wet pussy clamping around his cock as Elizabeth shifted, her core muscles tensed to keep her hand rock steady as she glided the blade down his cheek with a care that contrasted with the soap in his mouth.
Thank god he'd always secretly loved being controlled or she'd never have let him in her bed. And he'd never have known just how much pulsing arousal could be gotten from a sharp blade smoothing his skin.
He wasn't paying attention to the mechanics of the shave and had no idea she was done until she licked from the corner of his mouth to the corner of his eye, "Smooth as your tight ass, colonel," She kissed his eyelid, her breasts pressed tight to his chest with the way she was bent over him, a hard edge sliding down his other cheek that had to be a fingernail or he'd be feeling the sting of the cut.. "You were a *very* good puppy. Ready for some more reward?"
He nodded enthusiastically, then threw his head back as she thrust slightly against him. His arms tensed, wanting to touch her, but were held back by the cool metal cutting into his skin. She nibbled at his neck, then flicked a hand over his nipples. His teeth dug into the soap as he moaned low and long.
"You know what's next, don't you?"
She pulled off him, and he made a discontent whimper, before the blade pressed against the sensitive skin above his erect cock.
"Don't you just love a little...creative hygiene?"
Her tongue flicked at the head of his cock, and he very nearly bit the soap in half in his struggle to remain still.
She could see every single muscle in his body right now. Clenched to keep himself utterly still as eyes pitch black from the widened pupils opened and stared down at her as he whimpered deep in his throat.
She very carefully worked the blade down, almost unconsciously licking at the rock-hard cock so conveniently at her lips. When they'd first started playing with each other, he hadn't had much in the way of control, but he was very trainable and nowdays, she knew he would hold out until she let him come. And then would he *ever* come! There was nothing better to go over the edge on, then watching him go utterly wild under her. For her. From her.
Letting herself think about some of those sessions might have been a mistake, she was throbbing too much to torture him properly anymore. "All clean," she flipped the knife with expertise to the wall above the head of the bed, and as it vibrated in place while he stared longingly, she sifted her fingers through the hair on his chest, tugging here and there. "*This* we keep," she said as she bit at the raised muscle at the bottom of his ribcage.
He looked at her pleadingly, and she finally relented, pulling the abused bar of soap from his mouth and tossing it aside.
"'Lizbeth," he panted, "Fuck me. *Please*."
She leaned in until she was right next to his face, feeling his hot, shallow breath.
"Okay."
Without further adieu, she slid down onto him again. He threw back his head with a guttural shout and she began to move on him, agonizingly slowly. Moaning in frustration, he tried to thrust up into her, but she just stopped moving until he stayed still. His arms, still tense, pulled at the handcuffs as he growled and groaned at the same time, and her smug smirk wasn't helping.
Elizabeth put her hands over his wrist to keep him from grinding the cuffs further into his already abraded wrists, and then went back to rippling her body slowly on his, eyes shinning with the rising pleasure. Staring right into the desperate fury in his, his every moan and shudder sending pleasure into her sex. Tempting her to really fuck him; fuck herself on him. But if she just held a little longer she could watch him yell her name, watch him-
John couldn't take it anymore, she was fluttering and clenching around his dick, 2 seconds from screaming with her pleasure and his balls were on fire *now*! He jerked his head up and latched onto the side of her neck, teeth scraping as he suckled the skin hard into his mouth with a growl. Over the years, he'd learned a thing or two about this woman and-
John came with a shout, screaming her name as his balls clenched as he poured into her.
Elizabeth moaned as just watching his ecstasy began to drive her over the edge, beginning to fuck herself against him like she meant it, enthralled with his convulsions of pleasure.
"JOHN!" she shouted as she came, her pelvic muscles practically vibrating as her world whited out for a moment. She continued to pump against his jerking body as she came down from the high, before she finally settled on his chest, breathing fast.
John licked and kissed lethargically at the mark he had left on her neck, too out of it now to insist that he not fall asleep while still in handcuffs.
Elizabeth shuddered with a last, heavy throb of pleasure as she felt his mouthing her pleasurably sensitive skin. If she wasn't so completely satisfied, she'd have to punish him for marking her and forcing her to wear a scarf for several days.
Then again, as she pulled back sluggishly and looked at his angelic face, fast asleep already with the exertion and pleasure, she couldn't stop the tender smile that curved her lips. She trailed her fingertips down his smooth cheek, wiping a trail of foam from the corner of his lips. Then she made herself move to take the leftovers of his pants off, grinning as she added them to her hidden treasure pile in the closet after stripping them of equipment. Including the keys she then used to free his poor mangled wrists.
After cleaning herself up and getting ready for bed, she brought a warm wet cloth and gently cleaned the damaged skin, working around the way he automatically burrowed into her as she sat next to his face on the edge of the bed. Then she fished wristbands from her bedside table and wrapped him up carefully, ignoring the reflexive sleepy whining at her touch.
Freeing herself from his hold with a pet to the top of his head, she wiped clean all his freshly shaved skin before turning off the lights and cuddling into bed, covers over both of them.
His hot, strong body was wrapped around her as soon as she lay down. Her head was in its spot against his heart, one of her hands at his nape curling the hair there and the other casually and proprietarily covered his sleepy cock. Sighing and falling asleep under the thin shadow of the knife stuck in the wall above her head. Life was good.
AN: If you need soap for your dirtied brain before you go.. there's a used one around here somewhere...
and if you are drawn to leaving a review, don't forget to drop one to comanche_rider!
And don't forget the Prologue!
Rating: darkish, crack!NC17
Authors: comanche_rider and wanderingsmith
Disclaimer: I ain't got no money, and nobody'd be daft enough to pay me for this.
AN: the good news is I can write smut again!... the bad news is it's with A LOT OF help and of the 'In a mirror: darkly' variety
Prompt: ~Of course, then there's all kinds of ideas that involve the gutter and soap. *cough* Elizabeth punishing John. *cough*
~Ohhh, and use that knife he's always displaying on his ass!
~think about the stutter in his dilated eyes the next time he has to pull that knife out against somebody...
~Ooo, he could save it to use on Koyla....
~"You touched my woman, you bastard! nobody threatens my Elizabeth and lives.. more than 3 years"
"I like a man who knows how to use his tools."
"Yeah? What does he get for a reward?"
"Ummm," she plastered herself to his chest, genteelly biting the side of his neck and listening with pleasure to his growl of response, her arms all the while sliding from the sides of his thighs to his ass. And then pulling his knife out of its sheath and pulling away against his attempt to hold her. She grinned at him wickedly as he stilled, watching with growing arousal as she brought his very sharp blade into the lowest opening between buttons of his shirt. And then oh so carefully slit the shirt open.
She pulled his attention back up, "He gets taken. Where are your handcuffs, colonel? If you're out of uniform, I might have to punish you."
"Well, I guess that depends on how you define 'uniform'." He licked his lips, handing her the cuffs.
Then she threw him back onto the bed, crawling on top of him and cuffing his hands to the rail. His shirt fell apart and she looked down at him appraisingly, smiling wickedly and grinding against him when she felt his very obvious arousal.
"Wait here, Colonel."
He moaned as she got up, watching her with dark eyes as she finally returned from the bathroom with a bar of soap in one hand and his knife still clutched leisurely in the other.
"I'm clean doctor.. really." Grinning at the husky tease, she put her tools on the bedside table, then stripped unabashedly as he watched, his hands jerking the cuffs as he automatically tried to reach for her.
Knowing he was watching, she slowly smoothed her hands up from her waist to cup her breast, hearing him moan as she flicked her nipples, rocking her hips forward in response. She watched his tautening pants as she glided her hands down to her pussy; as she dipped a finger in and brought it up to lick, her eyes raised to his, "If you want it, colonel.. then you have to be a good little puppy..."
Watching her avidly, his hips jerked slightly as he replied in a raspy voice. "Yes, Ma'am."
She smirked, moving onto him and brushing his cheek in a creepily wraith-like way.
"Open up, colonel."
He opened his mouth obligingly, and she placed the bar in his mouth. He choked, trying to spit it out until she gave him a disapproving look.
"Now now, not until I say so."
He tried to glare with injured dignity, but she wriggled down his body until a hotspot landed on the too-thin material of his slacks over his aroused cock. And as his eyes glazed and he panted around the obstruction in his mouth, she bent over him, his biceps tightening to try to get loose and play with the pale globes she swayed in front of his burning eyes. Completely missing her picking up his knife until she straightened, grinding down on him until she moaned right along with him.
Panting with momentary indecision, Elizabeth stared at the stubble on his cheek as her clit throbbed from the pressure being applied. As he jerked his hips up with a triumphant look for her completely distracted moan, she made her decision.
Crawling down past his zipper, she was still panting as she looked a challenge at him. It took her hand bringing into view his knife to jerk his attention back to the realization that he was at her mercy.
"'Li'th??" she grinned at the high pitch mumble as she very gently stroked the flat of the blade over the aroused flesh at her eye level.
As it flexed under the dangerous touch, she drawled, "You've been a good puppy, haven't you?"
He nodded jerkilly, keeping his hips deathly still.
"Then close your eyes."
He was shivering and waiting, wide open to pleasure or pain, when she wrapped her hand on him and he felt the cold metal slide under his waistband carefully. And then he was free, no more pressure keeping him kinked and in half-agony. He wanted to open his eyes and see where she was, what he was about to feel, but he knew better than to disobey *her* direct orders. Never mind punishment. Lack of reward was worse!
"Keeping those eyes closed like a good stud-puppy?" the sultry words came from right near his ear and now he felt the heat of her body a few inches over him as he tried to say, "Y's m'" through the mild soap getting way too soft in his panting mouth.
"Good." Elizabeth lined herself up from long practice and sat down with her very favorite -hot and alive and *loud*- sex toy firmly inserted. Oh yes, much better. She waited for him to stop bucking and trying to trust, silently watching his obediently closed eyes and making sure he didn't bite through the soap. Biting her lip to keep from moaning at the stimulation.
Once he stilled with a drowned whimper, she leaned over, running the blade on the soap to make a curl and smear it slick, "Now be a good still puppy or that pretty nose is going to get nicked."
"Y's m." He mumbled, breathing heavily, fighting to keep his eyes closed. She smirked and brought the blade to his chin, pressing down slightly, then moving it upward. Flakes of his stubble were separated from his face as the cool metal slid smoothly along his skin.
Elizabeth leaned down and whispered without stopping, "Don't worry, stud-puppy. This is only the appetizer."
He groaned around the soap, having to concentrate ridiculously hard to stay still.
Reward. There were rewards for good puppies. Like the wet pussy clamping around his cock as Elizabeth shifted, her core muscles tensed to keep her hand rock steady as she glided the blade down his cheek with a care that contrasted with the soap in his mouth.
Thank god he'd always secretly loved being controlled or she'd never have let him in her bed. And he'd never have known just how much pulsing arousal could be gotten from a sharp blade smoothing his skin.
He wasn't paying attention to the mechanics of the shave and had no idea she was done until she licked from the corner of his mouth to the corner of his eye, "Smooth as your tight ass, colonel," She kissed his eyelid, her breasts pressed tight to his chest with the way she was bent over him, a hard edge sliding down his other cheek that had to be a fingernail or he'd be feeling the sting of the cut.. "You were a *very* good puppy. Ready for some more reward?"
He nodded enthusiastically, then threw his head back as she thrust slightly against him. His arms tensed, wanting to touch her, but were held back by the cool metal cutting into his skin. She nibbled at his neck, then flicked a hand over his nipples. His teeth dug into the soap as he moaned low and long.
"You know what's next, don't you?"
She pulled off him, and he made a discontent whimper, before the blade pressed against the sensitive skin above his erect cock.
"Don't you just love a little...creative hygiene?"
Her tongue flicked at the head of his cock, and he very nearly bit the soap in half in his struggle to remain still.
She could see every single muscle in his body right now. Clenched to keep himself utterly still as eyes pitch black from the widened pupils opened and stared down at her as he whimpered deep in his throat.
She very carefully worked the blade down, almost unconsciously licking at the rock-hard cock so conveniently at her lips. When they'd first started playing with each other, he hadn't had much in the way of control, but he was very trainable and nowdays, she knew he would hold out until she let him come. And then would he *ever* come! There was nothing better to go over the edge on, then watching him go utterly wild under her. For her. From her.
Letting herself think about some of those sessions might have been a mistake, she was throbbing too much to torture him properly anymore. "All clean," she flipped the knife with expertise to the wall above the head of the bed, and as it vibrated in place while he stared longingly, she sifted her fingers through the hair on his chest, tugging here and there. "*This* we keep," she said as she bit at the raised muscle at the bottom of his ribcage.
He looked at her pleadingly, and she finally relented, pulling the abused bar of soap from his mouth and tossing it aside.
"'Lizbeth," he panted, "Fuck me. *Please*."
She leaned in until she was right next to his face, feeling his hot, shallow breath.
"Okay."
Without further adieu, she slid down onto him again. He threw back his head with a guttural shout and she began to move on him, agonizingly slowly. Moaning in frustration, he tried to thrust up into her, but she just stopped moving until he stayed still. His arms, still tense, pulled at the handcuffs as he growled and groaned at the same time, and her smug smirk wasn't helping.
Elizabeth put her hands over his wrist to keep him from grinding the cuffs further into his already abraded wrists, and then went back to rippling her body slowly on his, eyes shinning with the rising pleasure. Staring right into the desperate fury in his, his every moan and shudder sending pleasure into her sex. Tempting her to really fuck him; fuck herself on him. But if she just held a little longer she could watch him yell her name, watch him-
John couldn't take it anymore, she was fluttering and clenching around his dick, 2 seconds from screaming with her pleasure and his balls were on fire *now*! He jerked his head up and latched onto the side of her neck, teeth scraping as he suckled the skin hard into his mouth with a growl. Over the years, he'd learned a thing or two about this woman and-
John came with a shout, screaming her name as his balls clenched as he poured into her.
Elizabeth moaned as just watching his ecstasy began to drive her over the edge, beginning to fuck herself against him like she meant it, enthralled with his convulsions of pleasure.
"JOHN!" she shouted as she came, her pelvic muscles practically vibrating as her world whited out for a moment. She continued to pump against his jerking body as she came down from the high, before she finally settled on his chest, breathing fast.
John licked and kissed lethargically at the mark he had left on her neck, too out of it now to insist that he not fall asleep while still in handcuffs.
Elizabeth shuddered with a last, heavy throb of pleasure as she felt his mouthing her pleasurably sensitive skin. If she wasn't so completely satisfied, she'd have to punish him for marking her and forcing her to wear a scarf for several days.
Then again, as she pulled back sluggishly and looked at his angelic face, fast asleep already with the exertion and pleasure, she couldn't stop the tender smile that curved her lips. She trailed her fingertips down his smooth cheek, wiping a trail of foam from the corner of his lips. Then she made herself move to take the leftovers of his pants off, grinning as she added them to her hidden treasure pile in the closet after stripping them of equipment. Including the keys she then used to free his poor mangled wrists.
After cleaning herself up and getting ready for bed, she brought a warm wet cloth and gently cleaned the damaged skin, working around the way he automatically burrowed into her as she sat next to his face on the edge of the bed. Then she fished wristbands from her bedside table and wrapped him up carefully, ignoring the reflexive sleepy whining at her touch.
Freeing herself from his hold with a pet to the top of his head, she wiped clean all his freshly shaved skin before turning off the lights and cuddling into bed, covers over both of them.
His hot, strong body was wrapped around her as soon as she lay down. Her head was in its spot against his heart, one of her hands at his nape curling the hair there and the other casually and proprietarily covered his sleepy cock. Sighing and falling asleep under the thin shadow of the knife stuck in the wall above her head. Life was good.
AN: If you need soap for your dirtied brain before you go.. there's a used one around here somewhere...
and if you are drawn to leaving a review, don't forget to drop one to comanche_rider!
And don't forget the Prologue!