"I just don't understand why I'm not dead. When your heart breaks, you should die. But there is still the rest of you. There's your breasts, and your genitals, and they're amazingly stupid, like babies or faithless dogs, they don't get it, they just want him. Want him ( Read more... )

It doesn't even hurt anymore. Which is strange. Because it should. It should hurt when you lose someone. Especially all of a sudden. Especially when you didn't have to. When they themselves chose to leave you behind. Like garbage. Or excess baggage. Just not quite enough room in the overhead comparment. They tried their best to make room ( Read more... )

He broke up with me yesterday.

Is it wrong to wish I were enough? To think that maybe if I were a little more attractive, a little easier to live with, that he might just stay instead?

I question
not my ghostly vow,
but him.

So seek I drunk
mercy.

I poison
love’s heart.

I never ask.

I laugh.

For it is my
secret, broken
farewell.

I want you to stay...I want you to stay... There, I said it… I said it, and now I want you to forget it. Well, it's just something that I've been thinking about, and I wanted you to know that I was thinking about it. You know, I was just gonna... keep my mouth shut and let you go... but... It's not me. That's some merchant ivory movie, you know, ( Read more... )

"You don't want to miss these moments, even the sad ones. Because you'll never get them back. So enjoy this time. Let it wash over you so that your memories of it are strong. Thank you for changing my life and opening my heart again ( Read more... )

So, the Vagina Monologues were great as ever. In large part because I'm finally reconnecting with the friends that I've neglected over the past two months. I don't want to lose myself like I usually do when I start an intense relationship. My friends have always been my anchor, and I'll keep them even more to keep my balanced. In other words, ( Read more... )

So, the trip to Mexico is officially over. It's the same feeling that I have on Halloween, my birthday, or even Christmas Day: this vague, looming sense of disappointment. All that anticipation, all that energy, suddenly dissipated ( Read more... )

Had the biggest fight with Joel, just in time to go to Mexico for a week. Not sure how I'm going to salvage fun out of this trip. It wasn't looking particularly promising to begin with. Whatever. I actually ended up being honest. Now, we'll see if that bites me in the ass, or actually makes things better for once...