Team Free Will
The Basics
Name: Mary Winchester
Age: None of your business
Sex: Female
Occupation: Currently Unemployed I've been dead for a couple of decades
Species: Ghost Zombie Human
Next of kin: John Winchester Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester
Heaven and Hell
Do you have any previous experience with saving the world? If so, please specify Depends on your definition of saving the world.
Would you be interested in saving the world? I'd like it to still be around, yes.
Have you ever ingested demon blood? No.
Would you be interested in ingesting demon blood? Why the hell would I be interested in drinking demon blood? Or blood in general!
Have any of your family members ever ingested demon blood? ...Next question.
Are you currently possessed by a demon? I sure as hell best not be.
Have you ever been possessed by a demon? If so, when? No.
Would you or have you ever had sexual relations with a demon? Who the hell made up these questions?
Are you currently residing in or around the area of hell? I know the address but never visited.
Have you ever sold your soul to the devil? Fuck Yes.
Would you be interested in selling your soul to the devil? I wasn't interested the first damn time.
Do you believe in God? Yes
Are you a nun or a priest? [laughs mockingly]
Are you otherwise a person of religion? Only when it's convenient.
Are you an Angel? ...I don't think so? No.
Have you ever invited an angel into your body? I don't sublet.
Do you actually believe anything that comes out of an angel's mouth? They're angels but I know bullshit when I hear it. Fuck you, Michael
THIS.IS.SPARTAAA!
Do you have any experience with killing monsters ? (World of Warcraft doesn't count) Did you want numbers? I don't keep score.
Have you ever seriously injured a monster? See above. Seriously? These questions...
Have you ever killed a human being? No.
Have you ever tortured a human being? Define torture.
Do you have any special powers? If so, please specify No. But I've got mad cooking skills.
On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your pain tolerance? Eight. [Childbirth is painful and I did it twice]
Can you ...
shoot a gun? Check.
wield a sword? Check.
wield an ax? Check.
handle a bow and arrows? Double check.
work a spear? Check.
break someone's face with your hand? Hurts like a bitch but check.
use any other weapons in combat? I think it's implied at this point. Yes.
Have you ever punched a werewolf in the face? No but a .45 between the eyes counts, right?
Have you ever suffered from any serious injuries? Several.
Do you have any experience in jerry-rigged first aid? The fuck. Yes.
Have you died before? If so, how many times? Just the once and I don't plan to do it again any time soon.
It's all about YOU!
Do you feel the pathological need to make everything about you no matter what? It's all about my family. Always has been.
Have you been diagnosed with a mental illness? No.
Do you have anger management issues? I got better.
Do you believe in freedom, beauty, truth, and the power of love? Are you drunk?
Do you like 80's rock? Hairbands never did it for me.
Have you ever engaged in inter- or outercourse with an animal? If so, list species. [Is quietly horrified and disgusted]
Are you currently on drugs? Not currently.
Do you have an alcohol problem? No.
Do you have any prior arrests? If so, what for? Nothing stuck.
Have you done any actual time? If so, what for? No.
Would you consider yourself to be a loyal person? Very.
Is family important to you? They're the most important thing to me.
Would you die for your loved ones or is your own survival more important? I have died for them and will again. Ever. Single. Time.
In order to save the world, are you okay with putting your life in serious danger, watching your friends die and/or die a horrible death yourself ? And this without being paid a single dollar for your efforts? Yes.
It's time for some MULTIPLE CHOICE questions!
Real vampires should :
a) be staked and/or burned and/or beheaded.
b) get the same rights as human beings.
c) sparkle and stalk underage girls.
d) other. (please specify below)
Do you think the Apocalypse is:
a) bad
b) a really good time
c) a chance to visit old relatives in hell
d) other. (please specify below)
It's a fucking crap shoot and I plan to shove a gun into someone's face and decorate walls.
If a girl you don't know approaches you and offers you a deal with the devil, you... :
a) take it.
b) kill her on general principle.
c) forget the deal and fuck her, providing she is hot.
d) other. (please specify below)
Casper is haunting you. What do you need to get rid of the sucker?
a) a good therapist. GHOSTS AREN'T REAL, YOU GUYS!
b) salt and fire.
C) a bazooka.
d) other. (please specify below)
You are confronted with a monster you don't know anything about. You...
a) shoot first, ask questions later.
b) run like hell.
c) preferably postpone the fight until you know more about what you're facing.
d) other. (please specify below)
All of the damn above!
And last but not least...
If your friend was turned into a unicorn, hypothetically, what would you do to save them? After I stopped laughing I might try to figure out how the hell it happened. Or, you know, die from asphyxiation.