Twickenham man in bizarre attack on blameless New Wave band.

[wardytron]

The other day catbo posted a Livejournal entry in which she linked to the video of Making Plans for Nigel by XTC. If you're not familiar with the lyrics to Making Plans for Nigel, it begins like this: We're only making plans for Nigel / We only want what's best for him / We're only making plans for Nigel / Nigel just needs this helping hand. What lovely

Comments

[oldbloke]

See, if we'd had this kind of analysis in the New Musical Express, I might not have stopped buying it in 1970

[wardytron]

In case you're wondering whether Nigel made it through the minefield that was British Steel in the 1980s and secured himself a top post at Corus, I've checked their Executive Committee and Board and there's no-one called Nigel on it.

[exliontamer]

It was written from the point of view of Nigel's parents so XTC themselves are blameless here, I feel.

[class_worrier]

I have already pointed this out but you can't stop a rabid horse from bolting as the saying I've just made up goes.

[wardytron]

No, I do realise that, but couldn't resist 600 words combining pretend misplaced idiotic outrage with a brief potted history of the decline of the steel industry.

[class_worrier]

You entertaining bastard.

[steer]

I prefer to think that the "making plans for Nigel" refers to blueprints for an giant automated battle Nigel and British Steel merely refers to the construction material rather than the company. Admittedly the rest of the lyrics don't support my interpretation but, you know, it's still a more vivid than merely that his parents had some particular defined idea about his future career.

[wardytron]

But where then is this giant automated battle Nigel? Alas, if only that had been what the song was about, not only would this have provided a much needed boost in demand for British steel, but we would have led the world in the manufacture and design of giant automated battle Nigels.

[steer]

Possibly construction was cancelled by the recently elected Tory government? I mean it was only at the planning stage. If you think about it, it's the sort of project they might consider cancelling as unnecessary?

[wardytron]

Yes, if you think about it that seems logical enough. The incoming Secretary of State for Industry was Keith Joseph, who was well known for his hostility towards large publicly funded works such as giant automated battle Nigels, which I imagine he would have considered an unacceptable drain on public resources. My guess is he would have thought that if there was genuine demand for giant automated battle Nigels then that demand would be met by the private sector, and if there wasn't then there was no justification in continuing with the project at public expense.

[ms_siobhan]

And what their exhortation to have 'senses working overtime'? surely disrespectful of those quiet fragile spuls who prefer to lie on the sofa of an afternoon watching the great unwashed and badly educated shout at each other on Jeremy Kyle.

What an irresponsible bunch XTC were.

Has the Ward's collective gander ever been roused enough to use the word 'reprehensible'? If so in what context?

[wardytron]

I certainly remember as a child hearing the tale of how Ward Senior Senior once supposedly accused Hitler of being "bang out of order", but I don't know if "reprehensible" has ever yet been issued from the mouth of a Ward.

[rolygee]

XTC should have suggested a future for Nigel working on the branch line from Oxenholme to Windermere, a line still going strong despite what you might have read to the contrary.

[wardytron]

Anvils. There's the future, Nigel. Anvils. People are always going to need anvils. Them and mangles. We'll set you up as Nigel's Anvils and Mangles. It's a licence to print money, it is.