Comments | warmboys: Proof of Bullets (part 2)

warmboys

Proof of Bullets (part 2)

May 25, 2011 12:20

Proof of Bullets
Onew/Jonghyun
~12000 words
NC-17

( (part 2) Jonghyun sucks )

shinee: c: onew, other: c: mc jake, c.n.blue: c: yonghwa, x-over: p: jessica/jonghyun, yg: c: cl, shinee: p: minho/onew, snsd: c: jessica, shinee: p: jonghyun/onew, fandom: shinee, x-over: p: cl/onew, shinee: c: jonghyun, shinee: c: minho

Comments 91

civilized_era May 25 2011, 23:19:59 UTC

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

warmboys May 26 2011, 06:50:40 UTC

if this is about you being fucked I vehemently disagree

civilized_era May 26 2011, 18:49:27 UTC

Oh dude what the hell, no, SO SCREWED, but that's besides the point. I kind of have to read this again to actually like, READ IT (nothing to do with you, but kinda not in that place right now to like, read/think about much of anything fandomish, you know) but I did skim bits and pieces and it's just. like. Why don't you have a book deal yet. or at least some kind of, THING in some quarterly magazine or anthology or whatever. Why haven't you Dan Humphreyed some short story piece in the New Yorker (otherwise someone's bound to Vanessa Abrams you) -- I so admire your ability to INVENT, it's amazing how you take these characters like well-worn gloves and you make a two-hour long puppet show with backstory and memories and tragic/ironic love and we totally forget, it's just like, five fingers worth of cloth sewn together. WHAT THE HELL DIANA. I am always in awe, and kinda sad you're hiatusing? from writing for while? -- but I understand, too. Either way, consider me a fan for life. Ugh (making it all about me lol) I feel so BEHIND ( ... )

warmboys May 26 2011, 21:00:56 UTC

LOVE, Jeny, LOVE. ♥ and appreciation. thanks :')

I don't even know what to think about what Vanessa did. so much inconsistency in her character. also, how I feel about writing/these people changes every half hour. I can't even hiatus properly. idk idk but having someone like you read the shit I churn out makes it ten thousand times better.

but this is all so stupid and insignificant compared to what you're going through. I hope you're doing alright, and your family too.

spacejunks May 26 2011, 01:17:00 UTC

Oh my god uh, i can't make a real comment right now but um um i love this! i'll be back!!!!!!!!!

warmboys May 26 2011, 06:51:29 UTC

um HI!! eee happy that you love it :D \o/

spacejunks May 26 2011, 09:51:08 UTC

I love it when I have to look up words when reading fiction. It makes me feel, I dunno, fuzzy and new! And you wrote kinda-incest and I enjoyed it SO MUCH. The timeline, the consistency in characterization (and parallels to cannon!), the female characters (!!!!!!!!!), PEEING ON YONGHWA, the children's imaginations, awesome dad Jake, akjdlfsjfklds I love the conversational? tone of this piece. I love love love love it. And it positively OOZES with teenage awkwardness. dark and flat nipples akjgld;fldf

Onew and Jonghyun's conversation in the orphanage's bathroom was heartwrenching.

There were moments when I was kinda grimacing at Jonghyun's actions, but then he'd do or say things or react in a way that really showed that he's actually quite a sympa/empathetic character. Here, Minho's backstory is ridiculous and hilarious and he's so cute, eager and supportive here ahhhhh! And of course I love Onew AHAHAHAHA even when he was being silly and tried to run away ;~; and the part about his sexuality was interesting!

Jinki just ( ... )

warmboys May 26 2011, 15:43:53 UTC

And you wrote kinda-incest oh my god I was really biting my nails about the incest thing >< I know it doesn't work for a lot of people and, well, I guess this is only kinda- but still, I was like, claws at face ffdkjl so thank god you enjoyed it!! makes me feel like all the agonizing paid off :D YES YONGHWA hahahaha I think part of the fun of writing a longer story is the number of side characters that can be included :D Minho was aahhhh so much fun to write. for all our picking on him he's a great kid lol XD;

you probably know by now I am awful at replying to comments but everything you said here brightened my day and makes me less embarrassed about potentially rereading this sometime in the future hahaha :x it was especially great to hear that this wasn't a stylistic flop, because like your tweet a couple days ago, it's so easy to fall into the writing style of the last thing we read >< which is what happened here (a pale imitation of course) hahaha.

thanks so much!! ♥

and late spot personified May 26 2011, 03:19:34 UTC

till lunch

Re: and late spot warmboys May 26 2011, 06:51:52 UTC

bon appetit :D

yooruce May 26 2011, 03:51:29 UTC

oh my god i love everything about this. like... everything. the progression of their relationship, minho!! jessica!! idek what i'm trying to say, lmao. but i love it. it was very realistic and i loved it (i don't think i said that enough, tbh!)

and there's a lot of moments that i liked a lot, like jinki walking in on jonghyun. this line might be one of my favorites: He misses the Shin Sekyung poster. and then that part when jonghyun says happy birthday, god that took me forever and i probably laughed more than i should have when i figured it out!

and just. yeah. ♥

warmboys May 26 2011, 06:53:53 UTC

yay for minor characters! I'm glad someone liked the slighter details haha :D ♥ and what a relief that it seemed somewhat realistic to you. at times I was shaking my head at myself, like what is this /)__(\

thank you!!

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warmboys May 26 2011, 06:55:54 UTC

I was afraid of making Jonghyun into a real douche jfdljf glad he came off as a stupid kid instead!! haha :D so glad you liked it! I don't write SHINee ever so this was sort of a nerve-wrecking one-month-long experience but yay ♥ thanks!

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warmboys May 26 2011, 21:04:31 UTC

haha thanks >< I was already late though so it felt longer than it actually was XD;