44/50: you will die and I will take over
Title: Bitverse (44: you will die and I will take over)
Characters: Sun Ce, Zhou Yu. (On the side: Sun Quan, Zhou Tai. Cao Pi, Zhao Yun.)
Rating: PG for the Sun family; 3313w
Notes: CHOBITS AU. Don't judge me. Actually, judge away. ♥ It was fun. Part 1 is srs bsns(?) based on history+DW6, but 2 and 3 are shameless crack. 8D A while back I started writing Terminator!Zhou Tai, but then wanted robots that weren't so hardcore instead... :'D
Rundown: Set in Chobits land where personal computers (persocoms) take the form of human companions. If you want, eps 1+2 are available here. (Liu Bei is totally that creepy guy from ep2 who has fallen in love with his robots lives alone with a bunch of custom-made persocoms whose only purpose is to make fanboys jealous.)
PART 1: PREDECESSION
Zhou Yu's ears (audio input devices, technically) were among the best money could currently buy, allowing him to discern and reproduce a wide variety of sounds (tones of speech, for example) with remarkable fidelity. He was not in and of himself a cutting-edge model persocom, but his owner was an avid hobbyist fond of tinkering with the latest and greatest. Sometimes this resulted in meltdowns (and occasionally explosions and cackles of glee), but most broadly meant that Zhou Yu was a persocom among persocoms.
Arguably, almost human.
He had been around a fair while too, so these days his personality was also highly developed. He'd started out as a mere palm-sized mobile unit bought off-the-shelf by the late Sun Jian. Back then Sun Ce had been barely more than waist-high on the Sun elder and the ground, with Zhou Yu perched on Sun Ce's shoulders (who in turn had been carried high by his father, spun around and around), had registered as very far away.
"Is it mine?" Sun Ce asked. He looked from his tall, tall father to the little persocom in his own still-small hands.
"He's yours," Sun Jian smiled warmly. "But you better take good care of him mind, because you'll only get one."
Uncharacteristically reverent, Sun Ce nodded and held Zhou Yu close as carefully as he held his baby brother Quan. "I get it. Only one."
As Sun Ce had grown, so too had Zhou Yu in senses literal, technological and psychological. Crashing Sun Jian's workshop on the weekends, Sun Ce had taken to the world of custom modifications like a cat to goldfish and each new skill he learned brought Zhou Yu improved abilities. The small mobile shell's design had reached capacity over the long holidays before Sun Ce started high school, expansion slots all filled and processors overclocked. Sun Ce had been allowed to choose him a new, full sized body as a congratulatory present.
Soon, no one else in the neighbourhood (or more importantly, at Sun Ce's school of choice) had owned a persocom that could hear both dog whistles and crickets chirping across highway traffic; or run a hundred metres in ten seconds and kick a soccer ball with 98.5% accuracy.
These were the things Sun Ce considered important. Zhou Yu's gyroscopes were near military-grade, the same used in radio-controlled helicopters.
"You should focus more on your studies," Zhou Yu told Sun Ce as they sat in Sun Jian's workshop. Or rather, Sun Ce sat, scooting back and forth on a swivel chair; Zhou Yu lay face down on a bench, his school shirt off and synthetic skin open from nape to tailbone. (Sun Ce had procured him a new, lighter-weight titanium spine.) "Life is not a persocom arms race."
"Are you joking?" Sun Ce said, an audible grin in his words. "With a bot like you, I'll have my college apps done in three minutes flat. And essays. And everything else. Then you can help me train for the varsity basketball team and find a hot girlfriend." He laughed when Zhou Yu just made a disapproving noise. "Don't worry, Gongjin. I've got it all planned out."
He hadn't, however, factored in the possibility of an untimely inheritance. At age sixteen, Sun Ce was bequeathed full and sole ownership of Sun Jian's fledgling construction company, along with responsibility for the family home mortgage.
Those following few years had seen Zhou Yu's generous 96-hour battery life and multitude of analysis applications (theretofore largely extraneous) put to good use. There had been times his systems had simply shut down after one too many low battery warning overrides drained his reserves too far.
More often than not though, he had been the one tempering Sun Ce's manic drive; especially initially, reasoning down Sun Ce's raw ambition and near-desperate desire to keep his father's business afloat. Together, they had broken contract from the fickle Yuan Shu; recruited contractors of their own, interviewed clients, and bartered deals with big name corporations. They had built the Sun family name and carved out a market share that was almost stable.
"Bofu…" Zhou Yu said gently. At five-thirty in the morning, dawn light was just beginning to filter through the sleepy city buildings. Sun Ce hadn't seen his mother in six days and hadn't been home in three. Zhou Yu kept account of these things.
"How's your charge?" Sun Ce asked, slumped bonelessly over the office balcony railing.
"Forty-eight percent," Zhou Yu reported, then paused. "What are you thinking?" His self-learning algorithms had long become familiar enough with Sun Ce's manner to discern a meaning behind certain tensions of the shoulder, or minute changes in tone and facial expression.
Sun Ce grinned. Though tired, he remained apparently upbeat. "A detour. There's a parts fair on across town. Opens at eight. Drive me someplace for breakfast and we can make it in time."
"I'll drive you home for breakfast," Zhou Yu told him, "so that you can sleep." It was a Saturday.
"Sleep is for people with nothing better to do."
"Or," Zhou Yu said, "healthy, happy individuals. I don't need more upgrades."
"Maybe," Sun Ce smiled. "But y'know, I miss working on you, Gongjin." He turned then with a certain unquantifiable light in his eyes.
"What are you really thinking, Bofu?" Zhou Yu asked. "Beyond this morning. I know it is something."
"You're right," Sun Ce chuckled. "I'm thinking Quan graduates in a few weeks."
"He's eighteen this year."
"Exactly!" Turning from the balcony, Sun Ce swiped his card through the reader and re-entered the office. He grinned over his shoulder at Zhou Yu, energy seemingly returned. "More than old enough to run this gig. He'd be better suited to it than me, too."
Zhou Yu put two and two together. "I was under the impression the young master planned to attend university," he said. He would not attempt to sway Sun Ce in either direction (it wouldn't work even if he tried).
"Does he?" Sun Ce laughed.
"Architecture."
"What's that, a four year sentence?"
Zhou Yu made a quick check online of all the major universities. "Yes," he confirmed.
"Great!" Sun Ce grinned, clapping Zhou Yu on the shoulder. "That's not so long. You can run this place 'til he graduates."
Despite having more than enough processing power to handle the sudden data surges Sun Ce was so fond of giving him, Zhou Yu still paused in the office doorway. "What are you planning, Bofu?"
"I," Sun Ce announced to his world of one, "am going to retire. And you, Gongjin, are going to hire me again. As a common brickie. I'm sick of this corporate gig."
"You're the CEO," Zhou Yu pointed out.
"Nope~!" Sun Ce laughed, foregoing the lift in favour of the fire escape with Zhou Yu again following along. "That title is Quan's now. And you're going to help him with it. No offence to either of them y'know, but his Zhou unit hasn't really got the specs to keep a company afloat."
That much was true, Zhou Yu supposed. It had been maybe a dozen years ago that an exasperated Sun Ce had pestered his father into buying Sun Quan his own Zhou unit to play with. Zhou Tai had originally served as something of a babysitter for the Sun family's second eldest; however, despite several hardware upgrades, scant little of his core programming had been changed since those times.
"…I see," Zhou Yu said. Because he did, and ignored his own internal query that circulated briefly: 'Can I not retire with you?'
The question remained unvoiced and was ultimately discarded, answer impertinent.
Zhou Yu was after all only a persocom. Only, arguably, almost human.
*
PART 2: OMAKE
[ SOME YEARS LATER ]
"Bofu," Zhou Yu said, with a particular tone of finite patience. It was one he used a lot in the mornings with Sun Ce, and had long since perfected. "Bofu, wake up."
"Nnnmghh," Sun Ce grumbled.
Zhou Yu couldn't argue with that. Instead, he took the edge of Sun Ce's blanket and whipped it away with a tug too sharp for even Sun Ce's practised death grip.
Sun Ce assumed a foetal position in his bed's fast-evaporating warm patch. "Cooold~ damnit, Gongjin. It's called Saturday!"
"It's called sloth," Zhou Yu said, folding the blanket up and setting it aside. "It will be noon soon."
"So what? Watch me reprogram you one day," Sun Ce grumbled, rolling over. "Like, before tomorrow. Which is Sunday." He rubbed at his eyes.
"Could you really?" Zhou Yu asked. "I'd like to think you'd miss me after all these years. We've been through a lot together."
"I wouldn't throw you out though," Sun Ce said. "Your hardware's kinda valuable. You'd still be around."
Zhou Yu smiled. "But not as the persocom you know."
"No," Sun Ce gave a lopsided grin. "Just much more agreeable."
"I believe the word you are looking for is indulgent." Momentarily Zhou Yu paused in drawing the curtains as he received a message from the kitchen. Acknowledged, he told Huang Gai back over the Sun household's secure wireless connection. "Lunch will be ready in half an hour."
"Well," Sun Ce said, "I guess that could be worth getting out of bed for, since your nagging's not doing it for me."
Zhou Yu smiled. "Perhaps." Not that he'd know, but by human standards Huang Gai seemed to cook well. At any rate, Sun Ce certainly appreciated Sun Jian's old persocom's rather impressive repertoire of ways to roast things. (Well-rounded the Huang Gai was not, but the fact didn't seem to disadvantage him any.) Zhou Yu looked around. "…where is Ziyi?"
"Oh!" Sun Ce bolted upright. "In the closet. Get him out!"
Zhou Yu made a noise of disapproval. "What happened this time."
With the stealth of a ninja, Sun Ce dove for his folded blanket and reclaimed it behind Zhou Yu's back. "His fault," he said, burrowing back down.
Zhou Yu ignored him, fishing Sun Ce's new mobile hobby bot out from under a pile of shirts. He found the power switch nestled in the Taishi unit's little topknot. "…Ziyi," he greeted when the persocom's eyes flickered and finally focused. "Good morning."
"Good morning, Gongjin," Taishi Ci said. He stood and bowed perfunctorily in Zhou Yu's hand before climbing up to sit on Zhou Yu's shoulder, whereat he bowed again. "Good morning, Master Sun. I hope you slept well."
Sun Ce grinned. "Yeah, after you finally shut up."
"What is this about?" Zhou Yu asked them.
"Nothing," Sun Ce said.
"Master Sun challenged me to a word association game," Taishi Ci said, audio volume low by Zhou Yu's ear. "He wouldn't give up for hours."
"Ziyi! Traitor!"
Zhou Yu smiled at the mobile unit. "He likes to think he can compete."
"He is a tough opponent," Taishi Ci said.
Lowering his own output volume, Zhou Yu murmured, "If he's downgraded your language pack again just so you can play, I'll transfer you my updates when we DC later."
Taishi Ci nodded. "Thank you."
"Oi," Sun Ce said loudly, "conspiring against me is against the rules!"
"There is no conspiracy," Zhou Yu told him, calm. "Please be downstairs within the half-hour."
*
"I'm burnt out," Sun Quan said as they walked back from the train station. "I think I left my brain in my locker."
Discerning the statement required no response, Zhou Tai remained silent.
Sun Quan kept talking anyway. "Brother's probably not even out of bed yet. How is this fair? It's a Saturday morning! I've already gone to cram school and back."
Again running his handy, oft-used probability application, Zhou Tai decided it would be better not to point out that it was because Sun Ce's occupation (bricklaying) did not require a university degree while Sun Quan's future job (architecture) did. It was almost certain that Sun Quan already knew, and so Zhou Tai again said nothing.
"Will there be food at least?" Sun Quan asked.
That required a response. "Roast… chicken…" Zhou Tai said, querying the Sun hub to confirm that Huang Gai's menu hadn't changed since the last time Zhou Tai had checked. It hadn't.
"Oh man," Sun Quan enthused, "with potato and pumpkin?"
"…yes," Zhou Tai said.
"My favourite." Mood successfully lifted, Sun Quan began to walk a little faster. Zhou Tai duly adjusted the length of his own strides to keep pace. "Zhou Tai! It's got to be white wine with roast chicken, doesn't it? Or a light red. Do we have any at home? I don't think we do. Let's go this way today."
Sun Quan turned them down the route, Zhou Tai noted, that detoured to the bottle shop.
"I'm betting the light red over white though," Sun Quan mused. "Something like a good Côte de Beaune. What do you think? Huang Gai tends to go heavier on the herbs than not…"
Zhou Tai briefly considered querying the house again to ask exactly what kind of roast Huang Gai had prepared (and if there was or was not in fact any suitable wine remaining), but again decided it unnecessary. Sun Quan was happy. There was no need.
"You know what, Zhou Tai? I think I'll get both."
*
"What the hell are those shoes, Gongjin?" Sun Ce asked in disbelief as he watched Zhou Yu tug on a new pair of boots in the foyer. They were suede or something, slim and ridiculous about the length.
"Your sister gifted me," Zhou Yu smiled. "Apparently over the knee boots are in this season."
"For girls," Sun Ce pointed out. "G-I-R-L-S, Gongjin."
"I am aware of how to spell the word," Zhou Yu said mildly. "They fit me. I like them."
"She told you they looked hot, didn't she?" Sun Ce accused and went for the door, his own feet shoved into a much more practical pair of Blundstones. "You're a complete sucker for other people's opinions."
"I am not," Zhou Yu said, locking up behind them. "I factor them in objectively and they weigh as much as your own."
"See, isn't that a problem? I'm your owner!" Sun Ce remarked. "My opinion should completely obliterate anyone else's in the weight department."
Zhou Yu laughed. "Forgive me for not blindly trusting your fashion sense."
"I'm offended, Gongjin."
"You shouldn't be."
Sun Ce grinned. "Yeah but I'm human, so I am anyway."
They passed Cao Pi's troupe walking in the opposite direction, on the way to the bottle shop.
"Hey, Princess~" Sun Ce called merrily, waving across the small back road.
Zhen Ji nudged her boyfriend's arm. "He's hailing you," she smiled.
"He is not worth my time," Cao Pi said, walking on. Behind him, his persocom turned to bow courteously in Sun Ce's direction. Zhou Yu gave a formal bow in return.
"Maybe next time we will have the opportunity to meet, good sirs!" the Zhao unit called.
"Shut up, Zilong," Cao Pi ordered grouchily over Zhen Ji's melodic laughter. "Ignore them."
Zhao Yun shut up and dutifully resumed his trot along behind the pair.
"Amazing," Sun Ce chuckled once he and Zhou Yu were out of earshot. "Those bots never cease to amaze me."
"The Zhao series is aesthetically pleasing," Zhou Yu allowed. "Incorruptibly polite, too."
"Mm, but shame about the specs," Sun Ce grinned skyward. "Y'gotta wonder what it's like having a bot with barely the processors to power sentient thought."
Not uncomfortable, Zhou Yu smiled. "I should hope you never feel the pressing need to find out."
"Isn't it funny though?" Sun Ce persisted. "I thought Cao Pi would have had something more intelligent at his disposal. He seems the type to like a little more power under the hood."
"Ah, no. You are correct," Zhou Yu said. "There is a high-end Sima unit registered to his name, but it's not so much the outdoors type-barely waterproof, or so I hear. Cao Pi tends to leave it at home."
Sun Ce laughed. "Then what's that Zhao for? He's already got a girlfriend."
Zhou Yu gave a small smile. "Word on the street is that Zhen Ji was the one who made him buy it."
"Ahh," Sun Ce said sagely, "that would be why she wanted it dumb. Less competition. It really is quite pretty."
Zhou Yu shook his head. Cao Pi really was quite gay.
*
"Zhou Tai!" Sun Quan called, holding up two bottles of wine. "What do you think of… Zhou Tai?"
"Your brother…" Zhou Tai said.
"Yo, Quan!" Sun Ce hailed, popping up from behind the next shelf across. "I knew it!"
"Knew what?" Sun Quan said, immediately on the defensive. (It was never any other way when Sun Ce was around.)
"Gongjin here discovered we were out of chicken-appropriate wine almost too late. The fact you're here proves you drank the last of it last night, like I thought!"
"Bofu, that logic is mildly flawed," Zhou Yu said.
"Listen to your brain, Brother!" Sun Quan said, frowning. "I don't even know what you're talking about."
"But he was drinking last night, wasn't he, Zhou Tai?" Sun Ce said, turning.
"Yes… whisky."
"Only whisky?" Sun Ce pressed.
"Brother! It was just whisky."
"…and ice."
"The drug or the sub-zero substance?" Sun Ce persisted.
"Can you please not interrogate my persocom in public?" Sun Quan pled with exasperation.
"If the lady Shang Xiang were present, I believe Bofu here would have earned himself a slap," Zhou Yu smiled.
"But she's not," Sun Ce grinned back, "so I haven't. And you aren't a girl, Gongjin, so you can't give me one for her without inciting violence."
"True, despite my being somewhat literally in her shoes," Zhou Yu concurred.
Zhou Tai kept his silence, merely placing one hand on Sun Quan's defeat-slumped shoulders.
*
Lunch was a relatively cordial affair once Sun Ce presented his brother two bottles of apology alcohol.
"Don't think you can buy my affections," Sun Quan said sourly, but took the gin and rum anyway.
Sun Ce only laughed. "I don't just think I can, Quan: I know it's true!"
It was lucky for Sun Ce that the bottles were full, and that Sun Quan valued their contents over his desire to do his brother's head in. "…where's Shang Xiang," he asked instead, taking a seat at the dining table. Pouring out the white wine, he missed the way Sun Ce's demeanour darkened.
"With Liu Bei."
"Oh, him again?" Satisfied the glasses were full, Sun Quan set the bottle down and smiled at the meal Huang Gai had laid out. There was no better aroma than a good roast chicken and sweet, sweet wine. "Good for her."
Sun Ce, however, was not so easily placated. "Are you listening to yourself, Quan?" he demanded. "He's like, twice her age and lives with a harem of guybots."
That got Sun Quan's attention. He looked up sharply, before glancing at where Zhou Tai stood with Zhou Yu, deep in conversation with the little Taishi unit. There was nothing wrong with owning a few male persocoms, right? "At least she's interested in them," Sun Quan said, defensive again.
"I liked it better when we all thought she was a butch lesbian," Sun Ce scowled. "Any of her girl friends could hand Liu Bei his own ass on a stick in a heartbeat. She'll get soft!"
"Brother!" Sun Quan was aware of Zhou Tai's attention at the outburst; and also of the heat rising in his own cheeks. "His skills lie in other areas."
"Don't think I don't know that!" Sun Ce said. "He's good with the bots. He's got a knack for tech. But his personality? He couldn't program a convincing comeback script to save himself. All his brains are store-bought, off-the-shelf packs."
"…I like his Zhuge unit," Sun Quan said sullenly, unable to argue further.
Sun Ce snorted. "Gongjin is so much better."
*
PART 3: DATABOOK(?)
The Zhao Series: baby's first bot.
Pros: User friendly. Aesthetically pleasing. Will do anything required.
Cons: The basic, family-oriented unit. Low processing power. Will do anything required.
Notable units:
• Zhao Yun ('Zilong' registered to Liu Bei). A trade into Liu Bei's hands; Liu Bei is a creep thought the design was pretty. Some mods. No upgraded processors yet.
• Zhao Yun (…'Zilong' registered to Cao Pi). Zhen Ji saw Liu Bei's and wanted it; Liu Bei wouldn't sell, so she made Cao Pi buy and customise her one of her own.
The Zhou Series: a hobbyist's wet dream.
Pros: Strong developer streams. Highly customisable, broadly compatible.
Cons: Little more than an empty shell if uncustomised.
Notable units:
• Zhou Yu ('Gongjin' registered to and customised by Sun Ce). Fully optimised Intel stream; select Power stream upgrades also installed.
• Zhou Tai ('Youping' registered to and customised by Sun Quan). Maximum Power stream upgrades installed.
The Zhuge Series: the guaranteed pass.
Pros: Specialised tutoring series. Made out of 70% recycled parts. 90% recyclable. High processing power created to compete with the Zhou Intel stream. Many software applications available for purchase.
Cons: Few hardware upgrades available.
Notable units:
• Zhuge Liang ('Kongming' registered to Liu Bei).
The Xiahou Series: built to last.
Pros: Durable data protection, also good for physical work.
Cons: Buggy interaction scripts; not the most socially adjusted persocom series available by a long shot.
Notable units:
• Xiahou Dun ('Yuanrang' registered to Cao Cao).
• Xiahou Yuan ('Miaocai' registered to Zhang He).
Others:
The Huang Series
• Huang Gai ('Gongfu' registered to Sun Jian; Sun Ce).
• Huang Zhong ('Hansheng' registered to Liu Bei).
Custom models as yet unregistered, created and owned by Liu Bei: Guan Yu, Zhang Fei.
Custom model registered to Cao Pi: Sima Yi.
Mobile units:
• Taishi Ci ('Ziyi' registered to Sun Ce).
• Ma Chao ('Mengqi' registered to Liu Bei).
There is... really so much more of this fail spun out in my head, but I will stop now. 8D ♥
Characters: Sun Ce, Zhou Yu. (On the side: Sun Quan, Zhou Tai. Cao Pi, Zhao Yun.)
Rating: PG for the Sun family; 3313w
Notes: CHOBITS AU. Don't judge me. Actually, judge away. ♥ It was fun. Part 1 is srs bsns(?) based on history+DW6, but 2 and 3 are shameless crack. 8D A while back I started writing Terminator!Zhou Tai, but then wanted robots that weren't so hardcore instead... :'D
Rundown: Set in Chobits land where personal computers (persocoms) take the form of human companions. If you want, eps 1+2 are available here. (Liu Bei is totally that creepy guy from ep2 who has fallen in love with his robots lives alone with a bunch of custom-made persocoms whose only purpose is to make fanboys jealous.)
PART 1: PREDECESSION
Zhou Yu's ears (audio input devices, technically) were among the best money could currently buy, allowing him to discern and reproduce a wide variety of sounds (tones of speech, for example) with remarkable fidelity. He was not in and of himself a cutting-edge model persocom, but his owner was an avid hobbyist fond of tinkering with the latest and greatest. Sometimes this resulted in meltdowns (and occasionally explosions and cackles of glee), but most broadly meant that Zhou Yu was a persocom among persocoms.
Arguably, almost human.
He had been around a fair while too, so these days his personality was also highly developed. He'd started out as a mere palm-sized mobile unit bought off-the-shelf by the late Sun Jian. Back then Sun Ce had been barely more than waist-high on the Sun elder and the ground, with Zhou Yu perched on Sun Ce's shoulders (who in turn had been carried high by his father, spun around and around), had registered as very far away.
"Is it mine?" Sun Ce asked. He looked from his tall, tall father to the little persocom in his own still-small hands.
"He's yours," Sun Jian smiled warmly. "But you better take good care of him mind, because you'll only get one."
Uncharacteristically reverent, Sun Ce nodded and held Zhou Yu close as carefully as he held his baby brother Quan. "I get it. Only one."
As Sun Ce had grown, so too had Zhou Yu in senses literal, technological and psychological. Crashing Sun Jian's workshop on the weekends, Sun Ce had taken to the world of custom modifications like a cat to goldfish and each new skill he learned brought Zhou Yu improved abilities. The small mobile shell's design had reached capacity over the long holidays before Sun Ce started high school, expansion slots all filled and processors overclocked. Sun Ce had been allowed to choose him a new, full sized body as a congratulatory present.
Soon, no one else in the neighbourhood (or more importantly, at Sun Ce's school of choice) had owned a persocom that could hear both dog whistles and crickets chirping across highway traffic; or run a hundred metres in ten seconds and kick a soccer ball with 98.5% accuracy.
These were the things Sun Ce considered important. Zhou Yu's gyroscopes were near military-grade, the same used in radio-controlled helicopters.
"You should focus more on your studies," Zhou Yu told Sun Ce as they sat in Sun Jian's workshop. Or rather, Sun Ce sat, scooting back and forth on a swivel chair; Zhou Yu lay face down on a bench, his school shirt off and synthetic skin open from nape to tailbone. (Sun Ce had procured him a new, lighter-weight titanium spine.) "Life is not a persocom arms race."
"Are you joking?" Sun Ce said, an audible grin in his words. "With a bot like you, I'll have my college apps done in three minutes flat. And essays. And everything else. Then you can help me train for the varsity basketball team and find a hot girlfriend." He laughed when Zhou Yu just made a disapproving noise. "Don't worry, Gongjin. I've got it all planned out."
He hadn't, however, factored in the possibility of an untimely inheritance. At age sixteen, Sun Ce was bequeathed full and sole ownership of Sun Jian's fledgling construction company, along with responsibility for the family home mortgage.
Those following few years had seen Zhou Yu's generous 96-hour battery life and multitude of analysis applications (theretofore largely extraneous) put to good use. There had been times his systems had simply shut down after one too many low battery warning overrides drained his reserves too far.
More often than not though, he had been the one tempering Sun Ce's manic drive; especially initially, reasoning down Sun Ce's raw ambition and near-desperate desire to keep his father's business afloat. Together, they had broken contract from the fickle Yuan Shu; recruited contractors of their own, interviewed clients, and bartered deals with big name corporations. They had built the Sun family name and carved out a market share that was almost stable.
"Bofu…" Zhou Yu said gently. At five-thirty in the morning, dawn light was just beginning to filter through the sleepy city buildings. Sun Ce hadn't seen his mother in six days and hadn't been home in three. Zhou Yu kept account of these things.
"How's your charge?" Sun Ce asked, slumped bonelessly over the office balcony railing.
"Forty-eight percent," Zhou Yu reported, then paused. "What are you thinking?" His self-learning algorithms had long become familiar enough with Sun Ce's manner to discern a meaning behind certain tensions of the shoulder, or minute changes in tone and facial expression.
Sun Ce grinned. Though tired, he remained apparently upbeat. "A detour. There's a parts fair on across town. Opens at eight. Drive me someplace for breakfast and we can make it in time."
"I'll drive you home for breakfast," Zhou Yu told him, "so that you can sleep." It was a Saturday.
"Sleep is for people with nothing better to do."
"Or," Zhou Yu said, "healthy, happy individuals. I don't need more upgrades."
"Maybe," Sun Ce smiled. "But y'know, I miss working on you, Gongjin." He turned then with a certain unquantifiable light in his eyes.
"What are you really thinking, Bofu?" Zhou Yu asked. "Beyond this morning. I know it is something."
"You're right," Sun Ce chuckled. "I'm thinking Quan graduates in a few weeks."
"He's eighteen this year."
"Exactly!" Turning from the balcony, Sun Ce swiped his card through the reader and re-entered the office. He grinned over his shoulder at Zhou Yu, energy seemingly returned. "More than old enough to run this gig. He'd be better suited to it than me, too."
Zhou Yu put two and two together. "I was under the impression the young master planned to attend university," he said. He would not attempt to sway Sun Ce in either direction (it wouldn't work even if he tried).
"Does he?" Sun Ce laughed.
"Architecture."
"What's that, a four year sentence?"
Zhou Yu made a quick check online of all the major universities. "Yes," he confirmed.
"Great!" Sun Ce grinned, clapping Zhou Yu on the shoulder. "That's not so long. You can run this place 'til he graduates."
Despite having more than enough processing power to handle the sudden data surges Sun Ce was so fond of giving him, Zhou Yu still paused in the office doorway. "What are you planning, Bofu?"
"I," Sun Ce announced to his world of one, "am going to retire. And you, Gongjin, are going to hire me again. As a common brickie. I'm sick of this corporate gig."
"You're the CEO," Zhou Yu pointed out.
"Nope~!" Sun Ce laughed, foregoing the lift in favour of the fire escape with Zhou Yu again following along. "That title is Quan's now. And you're going to help him with it. No offence to either of them y'know, but his Zhou unit hasn't really got the specs to keep a company afloat."
That much was true, Zhou Yu supposed. It had been maybe a dozen years ago that an exasperated Sun Ce had pestered his father into buying Sun Quan his own Zhou unit to play with. Zhou Tai had originally served as something of a babysitter for the Sun family's second eldest; however, despite several hardware upgrades, scant little of his core programming had been changed since those times.
"…I see," Zhou Yu said. Because he did, and ignored his own internal query that circulated briefly: 'Can I not retire with you?'
The question remained unvoiced and was ultimately discarded, answer impertinent.
Zhou Yu was after all only a persocom. Only, arguably, almost human.
*
PART 2: OMAKE
[ SOME YEARS LATER ]
"Bofu," Zhou Yu said, with a particular tone of finite patience. It was one he used a lot in the mornings with Sun Ce, and had long since perfected. "Bofu, wake up."
"Nnnmghh," Sun Ce grumbled.
Zhou Yu couldn't argue with that. Instead, he took the edge of Sun Ce's blanket and whipped it away with a tug too sharp for even Sun Ce's practised death grip.
Sun Ce assumed a foetal position in his bed's fast-evaporating warm patch. "Cooold~ damnit, Gongjin. It's called Saturday!"
"It's called sloth," Zhou Yu said, folding the blanket up and setting it aside. "It will be noon soon."
"So what? Watch me reprogram you one day," Sun Ce grumbled, rolling over. "Like, before tomorrow. Which is Sunday." He rubbed at his eyes.
"Could you really?" Zhou Yu asked. "I'd like to think you'd miss me after all these years. We've been through a lot together."
"I wouldn't throw you out though," Sun Ce said. "Your hardware's kinda valuable. You'd still be around."
Zhou Yu smiled. "But not as the persocom you know."
"No," Sun Ce gave a lopsided grin. "Just much more agreeable."
"I believe the word you are looking for is indulgent." Momentarily Zhou Yu paused in drawing the curtains as he received a message from the kitchen. Acknowledged, he told Huang Gai back over the Sun household's secure wireless connection. "Lunch will be ready in half an hour."
"Well," Sun Ce said, "I guess that could be worth getting out of bed for, since your nagging's not doing it for me."
Zhou Yu smiled. "Perhaps." Not that he'd know, but by human standards Huang Gai seemed to cook well. At any rate, Sun Ce certainly appreciated Sun Jian's old persocom's rather impressive repertoire of ways to roast things. (Well-rounded the Huang Gai was not, but the fact didn't seem to disadvantage him any.) Zhou Yu looked around. "…where is Ziyi?"
"Oh!" Sun Ce bolted upright. "In the closet. Get him out!"
Zhou Yu made a noise of disapproval. "What happened this time."
With the stealth of a ninja, Sun Ce dove for his folded blanket and reclaimed it behind Zhou Yu's back. "His fault," he said, burrowing back down.
Zhou Yu ignored him, fishing Sun Ce's new mobile hobby bot out from under a pile of shirts. He found the power switch nestled in the Taishi unit's little topknot. "…Ziyi," he greeted when the persocom's eyes flickered and finally focused. "Good morning."
"Good morning, Gongjin," Taishi Ci said. He stood and bowed perfunctorily in Zhou Yu's hand before climbing up to sit on Zhou Yu's shoulder, whereat he bowed again. "Good morning, Master Sun. I hope you slept well."
Sun Ce grinned. "Yeah, after you finally shut up."
"What is this about?" Zhou Yu asked them.
"Nothing," Sun Ce said.
"Master Sun challenged me to a word association game," Taishi Ci said, audio volume low by Zhou Yu's ear. "He wouldn't give up for hours."
"Ziyi! Traitor!"
Zhou Yu smiled at the mobile unit. "He likes to think he can compete."
"He is a tough opponent," Taishi Ci said.
Lowering his own output volume, Zhou Yu murmured, "If he's downgraded your language pack again just so you can play, I'll transfer you my updates when we DC later."
Taishi Ci nodded. "Thank you."
"Oi," Sun Ce said loudly, "conspiring against me is against the rules!"
"There is no conspiracy," Zhou Yu told him, calm. "Please be downstairs within the half-hour."
*
"I'm burnt out," Sun Quan said as they walked back from the train station. "I think I left my brain in my locker."
Discerning the statement required no response, Zhou Tai remained silent.
Sun Quan kept talking anyway. "Brother's probably not even out of bed yet. How is this fair? It's a Saturday morning! I've already gone to cram school and back."
Again running his handy, oft-used probability application, Zhou Tai decided it would be better not to point out that it was because Sun Ce's occupation (bricklaying) did not require a university degree while Sun Quan's future job (architecture) did. It was almost certain that Sun Quan already knew, and so Zhou Tai again said nothing.
"Will there be food at least?" Sun Quan asked.
That required a response. "Roast… chicken…" Zhou Tai said, querying the Sun hub to confirm that Huang Gai's menu hadn't changed since the last time Zhou Tai had checked. It hadn't.
"Oh man," Sun Quan enthused, "with potato and pumpkin?"
"…yes," Zhou Tai said.
"My favourite." Mood successfully lifted, Sun Quan began to walk a little faster. Zhou Tai duly adjusted the length of his own strides to keep pace. "Zhou Tai! It's got to be white wine with roast chicken, doesn't it? Or a light red. Do we have any at home? I don't think we do. Let's go this way today."
Sun Quan turned them down the route, Zhou Tai noted, that detoured to the bottle shop.
"I'm betting the light red over white though," Sun Quan mused. "Something like a good Côte de Beaune. What do you think? Huang Gai tends to go heavier on the herbs than not…"
Zhou Tai briefly considered querying the house again to ask exactly what kind of roast Huang Gai had prepared (and if there was or was not in fact any suitable wine remaining), but again decided it unnecessary. Sun Quan was happy. There was no need.
"You know what, Zhou Tai? I think I'll get both."
*
"What the hell are those shoes, Gongjin?" Sun Ce asked in disbelief as he watched Zhou Yu tug on a new pair of boots in the foyer. They were suede or something, slim and ridiculous about the length.
"Your sister gifted me," Zhou Yu smiled. "Apparently over the knee boots are in this season."
"For girls," Sun Ce pointed out. "G-I-R-L-S, Gongjin."
"I am aware of how to spell the word," Zhou Yu said mildly. "They fit me. I like them."
"She told you they looked hot, didn't she?" Sun Ce accused and went for the door, his own feet shoved into a much more practical pair of Blundstones. "You're a complete sucker for other people's opinions."
"I am not," Zhou Yu said, locking up behind them. "I factor them in objectively and they weigh as much as your own."
"See, isn't that a problem? I'm your owner!" Sun Ce remarked. "My opinion should completely obliterate anyone else's in the weight department."
Zhou Yu laughed. "Forgive me for not blindly trusting your fashion sense."
"I'm offended, Gongjin."
"You shouldn't be."
Sun Ce grinned. "Yeah but I'm human, so I am anyway."
They passed Cao Pi's troupe walking in the opposite direction, on the way to the bottle shop.
"Hey, Princess~" Sun Ce called merrily, waving across the small back road.
Zhen Ji nudged her boyfriend's arm. "He's hailing you," she smiled.
"He is not worth my time," Cao Pi said, walking on. Behind him, his persocom turned to bow courteously in Sun Ce's direction. Zhou Yu gave a formal bow in return.
"Maybe next time we will have the opportunity to meet, good sirs!" the Zhao unit called.
"Shut up, Zilong," Cao Pi ordered grouchily over Zhen Ji's melodic laughter. "Ignore them."
Zhao Yun shut up and dutifully resumed his trot along behind the pair.
"Amazing," Sun Ce chuckled once he and Zhou Yu were out of earshot. "Those bots never cease to amaze me."
"The Zhao series is aesthetically pleasing," Zhou Yu allowed. "Incorruptibly polite, too."
"Mm, but shame about the specs," Sun Ce grinned skyward. "Y'gotta wonder what it's like having a bot with barely the processors to power sentient thought."
Not uncomfortable, Zhou Yu smiled. "I should hope you never feel the pressing need to find out."
"Isn't it funny though?" Sun Ce persisted. "I thought Cao Pi would have had something more intelligent at his disposal. He seems the type to like a little more power under the hood."
"Ah, no. You are correct," Zhou Yu said. "There is a high-end Sima unit registered to his name, but it's not so much the outdoors type-barely waterproof, or so I hear. Cao Pi tends to leave it at home."
Sun Ce laughed. "Then what's that Zhao for? He's already got a girlfriend."
Zhou Yu gave a small smile. "Word on the street is that Zhen Ji was the one who made him buy it."
"Ahh," Sun Ce said sagely, "that would be why she wanted it dumb. Less competition. It really is quite pretty."
Zhou Yu shook his head. Cao Pi really was quite gay.
*
"Zhou Tai!" Sun Quan called, holding up two bottles of wine. "What do you think of… Zhou Tai?"
"Your brother…" Zhou Tai said.
"Yo, Quan!" Sun Ce hailed, popping up from behind the next shelf across. "I knew it!"
"Knew what?" Sun Quan said, immediately on the defensive. (It was never any other way when Sun Ce was around.)
"Gongjin here discovered we were out of chicken-appropriate wine almost too late. The fact you're here proves you drank the last of it last night, like I thought!"
"Bofu, that logic is mildly flawed," Zhou Yu said.
"Listen to your brain, Brother!" Sun Quan said, frowning. "I don't even know what you're talking about."
"But he was drinking last night, wasn't he, Zhou Tai?" Sun Ce said, turning.
"Yes… whisky."
"Only whisky?" Sun Ce pressed.
"Brother! It was just whisky."
"…and ice."
"The drug or the sub-zero substance?" Sun Ce persisted.
"Can you please not interrogate my persocom in public?" Sun Quan pled with exasperation.
"If the lady Shang Xiang were present, I believe Bofu here would have earned himself a slap," Zhou Yu smiled.
"But she's not," Sun Ce grinned back, "so I haven't. And you aren't a girl, Gongjin, so you can't give me one for her without inciting violence."
"True, despite my being somewhat literally in her shoes," Zhou Yu concurred.
Zhou Tai kept his silence, merely placing one hand on Sun Quan's defeat-slumped shoulders.
*
Lunch was a relatively cordial affair once Sun Ce presented his brother two bottles of apology alcohol.
"Don't think you can buy my affections," Sun Quan said sourly, but took the gin and rum anyway.
Sun Ce only laughed. "I don't just think I can, Quan: I know it's true!"
It was lucky for Sun Ce that the bottles were full, and that Sun Quan valued their contents over his desire to do his brother's head in. "…where's Shang Xiang," he asked instead, taking a seat at the dining table. Pouring out the white wine, he missed the way Sun Ce's demeanour darkened.
"With Liu Bei."
"Oh, him again?" Satisfied the glasses were full, Sun Quan set the bottle down and smiled at the meal Huang Gai had laid out. There was no better aroma than a good roast chicken and sweet, sweet wine. "Good for her."
Sun Ce, however, was not so easily placated. "Are you listening to yourself, Quan?" he demanded. "He's like, twice her age and lives with a harem of guybots."
That got Sun Quan's attention. He looked up sharply, before glancing at where Zhou Tai stood with Zhou Yu, deep in conversation with the little Taishi unit. There was nothing wrong with owning a few male persocoms, right? "At least she's interested in them," Sun Quan said, defensive again.
"I liked it better when we all thought she was a butch lesbian," Sun Ce scowled. "Any of her girl friends could hand Liu Bei his own ass on a stick in a heartbeat. She'll get soft!"
"Brother!" Sun Quan was aware of Zhou Tai's attention at the outburst; and also of the heat rising in his own cheeks. "His skills lie in other areas."
"Don't think I don't know that!" Sun Ce said. "He's good with the bots. He's got a knack for tech. But his personality? He couldn't program a convincing comeback script to save himself. All his brains are store-bought, off-the-shelf packs."
"…I like his Zhuge unit," Sun Quan said sullenly, unable to argue further.
Sun Ce snorted. "Gongjin is so much better."
*
PART 3: DATABOOK(?)
The Zhao Series: baby's first bot.
Pros: User friendly. Aesthetically pleasing. Will do anything required.
Cons: The basic, family-oriented unit. Low processing power. Will do anything required.
Notable units:
• Zhao Yun ('Zilong' registered to Liu Bei). A trade into Liu Bei's hands; Liu Bei is a creep thought the design was pretty. Some mods. No upgraded processors yet.
• Zhao Yun (…'Zilong' registered to Cao Pi). Zhen Ji saw Liu Bei's and wanted it; Liu Bei wouldn't sell, so she made Cao Pi buy and customise her one of her own.
The Zhou Series: a hobbyist's wet dream.
Pros: Strong developer streams. Highly customisable, broadly compatible.
Cons: Little more than an empty shell if uncustomised.
Notable units:
• Zhou Yu ('Gongjin' registered to and customised by Sun Ce). Fully optimised Intel stream; select Power stream upgrades also installed.
• Zhou Tai ('Youping' registered to and customised by Sun Quan). Maximum Power stream upgrades installed.
The Zhuge Series: the guaranteed pass.
Pros: Specialised tutoring series. Made out of 70% recycled parts. 90% recyclable. High processing power created to compete with the Zhou Intel stream. Many software applications available for purchase.
Cons: Few hardware upgrades available.
Notable units:
• Zhuge Liang ('Kongming' registered to Liu Bei).
The Xiahou Series: built to last.
Pros: Durable data protection, also good for physical work.
Cons: Buggy interaction scripts; not the most socially adjusted persocom series available by a long shot.
Notable units:
• Xiahou Dun ('Yuanrang' registered to Cao Cao).
• Xiahou Yuan ('Miaocai' registered to Zhang He).
Others:
The Huang Series
• Huang Gai ('Gongfu' registered to Sun Jian; Sun Ce).
• Huang Zhong ('Hansheng' registered to Liu Bei).
Custom models as yet unregistered, created and owned by Liu Bei: Guan Yu, Zhang Fei.
Custom model registered to Cao Pi: Sima Yi.
Mobile units:
• Taishi Ci ('Ziyi' registered to Sun Ce).
• Ma Chao ('Mengqi' registered to Liu Bei).
There is... really so much more of this fail spun out in my head, but I will stop now. 8D ♥