Free fall

[wasabirobot]

Today I suffer from over-active empathy. Someone I love is in unspeakable pain and I feel incapable of helping. What is worse, my capacity for communication seems to be degrading. Words are completely inadequate for the ideas in my mind and I feel this lucid terror encroaching.

Comments

[polydad]

Hello; I saw your more detailed post over on the Polyamory list and wanted to respond to it in a *slightly* more private venue. I've also added you to my friends' list; feel free to reciprocate if you so desire.

One of the things that can happen in poly relationships that *cannot* happen in mono relationships is when someone is being affected by a relationship dynamic they are not in, such as your situation with Tom and Sam. Their relationships with Anna affect you even though you aren't a party to them.

I have a story of my own to relate about a parallel situation; I had been in a polyclan of between 7 and 12 adults, depending on who's counting and how, and a difficulty arose around one person parallel to Anna that blew the whole clan apart. I was in the "Tom" role in that one, and did rather worse with it than Tom seems to be doing.

I don't have *time* to write the whole story right this minute, but if you want to hear it leave me a ping and I'll get to it in a day or two.

best,

Joel

[wasabirobot]

I'd love to hear more about your experiences. If you prefer to relate them in private, feel free to contact me via IM. I am PoMoGoo on AIM.