Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads.

[wasthebodyfound]

So ever since I was 13 or so, I've hated going over to my mom's relative parties...mainly it's because it's always at some old person's house.

Perhaps it's a phobia, but old people's houses are just as scary as Brian Peppers.

So it got me thinking..."Just what exactly makes an old people house?"

Comments

[michellecore]

I must add a list of things my grandma has in her condo.

1) Candy jars, with candy that has been in there for years - and will never be touched.
2) Nic nacks - not just one or two, SHELVES full of random figurines and statues.
3) Weird photo collages of all your grandchildren hung and framed on the wall. I understand you have 26 grandkids but you need a better way to show us off that doesn't look like a kindergarten kids art project.
4) Birdhouses, EVERYWHERE outside.

I always enjoy these drive-by Mere LJ posts!! :)

[wasthebodyfound]

Oh my god I'm dying LMAO!!! Seriously, EVERYTHING you listed is at my grandparents house, especially #3...they have a whole room with the walls covered of these collage like photo frames that hold like 30 pictures each, and they have one for each grandkid.

They have the candy jars too and they're always filled with jelly beans..year round and I don't know who eats them but they somehow disappear from time to time.

The damn nic nacks!! How did I miss that one??... I have to be careful of this one because I'll end up having an old people house if I keep hanging on to my random things I get from trips.

My granparents neighborhood, they're not so big on the bird houses, but they've got the bird baths...those concrete ones out in the lawn..my grandpa even bought one for our house and I tried hiding it behind an apple tree and he got pissed lmao

[wasthebodyfound]

Now that Michelle brought up the nic nac thing, I'm eyeing this rack of collectible spoons collecting dust up on our kitchen wall going "uh oh.." I might have to try to get my mom to part with some of these atrocities.

YESS Yard Ceramics!! Poor froggies. The Virgin Mary is a popular one around here, maybe they're feeling a little closer to god in their old age, but I see these giant ones with spot lights and fake flowers in the dirt surrounding it...it sorta creeps me out a bit.
My grandpa got so paranoid someone would steal his dwarf statue that he cemented it into his walkway...I'm going over their house tomorrow to re-paint it because he painted it completely brown last summer

[hotclementine]

Agree with this list entirely...other things I would add from my own experience are obnoxiously loud grandfather clocks and those cheesy stitched wall hangings with sayings like "no place like home" on them.

And maybe this is just my old relatives, but I feel like there's always a very distinct smell in old people's houses too.

Thanks for this - I always enjoy it when you update!

[wasthebodyfound]

AHHHH! hahahaha I have stitched wall hanging in my house!! We have one of a house with the alphabet at the bottom and it says "Home Is Where the Heart Is". They're lining our damn hallway! oh my god!LOL
The neighbors to my grandparents have a grandfather clock and if I'm outside I can hear the stupid thing..they really need a clock that big to tell time?

This entry and comments are giving me so much more amusement that I could have ever imagined LOL! I wonder if my parents will buy the story that someone broke in the house and all they took was the embroidered wall hangings and our collectible spoon rack...No, No..A Senior Citizen broke into our house...now it makes sense

I totally agree with the smell. I used to joke that it was because they were decaying which is really terrible to say..I also attributed it to the fact that old ladies don't wash their hair as often because they go to the salon and get their hair curled and what not and leave it for a week....but if Old people were a perfume..I'd probably call it Eu De Moth Balls