Blessed Beltane ~
Tonight was the sacred sabbat reflecting a 'new beginning'. In the old days it was the start of the pastoral summer, and often associated with life, sex, and a renewal of things.
It's one of two major holidays I pay attention to -- the other being Samhain. I'm a bad pagan like that, although it's not like I don't provide proper prayers on the other holidays. I just rarely do any spells or magic on them.
Beltane is different, however -- I use the energy of the sabbat to re-empower the wards I have on my house. There are three major ones, and I've had them for almost the entire 15 years I've lived there. One is for Nature, to encourage living with the Earth and also providing health for my kitties, ( Who are now gone . . . old habits die hard. ) one is for Life, providing health for those who live in my home and visit it, and one is for Protection, mostly against anyone getting too close to me or visa-versa -- protecting me or them from getting hurt.
The last one is especially important to me, because one of it's side effects is it allows me to maintain a measure of emotional separation from people and stoic will against letting my inner demons run amok. I freely admit I'm not a nice person, and many who know me ( Especially MX1 and MX2. ) would agree. Only my constant control over my inner nature keeps me social -- as social as I am, that is.
So I retired to my bedroom this evening and recited my prayers before my altar, re-weaving rituals and renewing my spell work again as I do every 6 months. Normally, I am not one for flashy "spells" -- my magic is more prayer orientated and internal so I don't normally need candles and/or circles or what-have-you. But I definitely feel better afterwords, and tonight was especially true for that. Recently, my wards have been weakening -- growing dusty, as it were. I've been allowing some of my inner thoughts to flow out, and I've actually done things I do not do. Like touching people outside of my boundary of safety ( Personal zone ) which resulted in me getting hit, ( I probably needed it. :D ) or making rather snarky comments to people I care for.
However, tonight's prayers calmed my mind and soul somewhat. It was like putting a fresh battery into my wards. I suspect the only reason they weakened in the first place was from outside influences constantly pounding down on me in the last 6 months. Stress and such; real life messing with my shields. Kind of like running your car engine full open for too long a stretch. It has bad effects on the engine. Same for spells -- but now I feel things are better. I hope, at least. :D