(no subject)
YearOldSandwicH (8:29:29 PM): 5 merriful songs that will warm your soul and mind this holiday season
you neva payed (the water bill) so you got playyeddd sann ((to the tune of "o christmas tree"))
ohhh dear eddie, oh dear eddie, you never payed the water bill (plural)
ohhh dear eddie, oh dear eddie, you never payed the water bill (plural)
you never went to work my love,
you never earned a quarter
to buy new gloves
ohhh dear eddie, oh dear eddie, you never payed the water bill (plural)
ohhh dear eddie, oh dear eddie, you never payed the water bill (plural)
you thought that you could get away
but the truth is, i found away
to get around all of your imperfects' (imperfections)
and all the money that i had to pay due to your gambling debts
ohhh dear eddie, oh dear eddie, you never payed the water bill (plural)
ohhh dear eddie, oh dear eddie, you never payed the water bill (plural)
and when i thought that all was lost,
the water bill came flying in fast
it said all of the following,
but i can't type out the great amount of money, so intead i'll sing
ohhh dear eddie, oh dear eddie, you never payed the water bill (plural)
ohhh dear eddie, oh dear eddie, you never payed the water bill (plural)
Jingle Bells
Riding down the road
on my skateboard on the way
to dear eddies house
today we have fun and play (our guitars)
we'll get drunk and eat a monk, cause christmas has begun,
oh,
jingle bells, eddies bathroom smells,
there aint no lysol here
off to path-mark we go,
to put eddie out of fear, hey!
riding down the road
with eddie at my side
as we approach pathmark
we suddenly slip and slide
we crash into a bus
and break all of our bones
we cant help but think
damn we need some clones,
oh
jingle bells, eddies bathroom still smells,
we got hit by bus
we got broke down, we've got no golden crown,
there's nothing left of us, hey!
jingle bells, wishing wells,
picnics in snow, galore!
and now i sit here in my chair
and wonder what all that shit's for, hey!
The 12 days of christmas
on the 1st day of christmas, my eddie gave to me, aaaaaa big swiffer mop
on the 2nd day of christmas, my eddie gave to me, two ear plugs and a biiiiiig swiffer mop
on the 3rd day of christmas, my eddie gave to me, three golden carrots, two ear plugs, and a biiiiig swiffer mop
on the 4th day of christmas, my eddie gave to me, four dead red pigeons, three golden carrots, two ear plugs, and a biiiiig swiffer mop
on the 5th day of christmas, my eddie gave to me, five broken hess trucks, four dead red pigeons, three golden carrots, two ear plugs, and a biiiiig swiffer mop
on the 6th day of christmas, my eddie gave to me, six crappy movies, five broken hess trucks, four dead red pigeons, three golden carrots, two ear plugs, and a biiiiig swiffer mop
on the 7th day of christmas, my eddie gave to me, seven boxes of cheez-its, six crappy movies, five broken hess trucks, four dead red pigeons, three golden carrots, two ear plugs, and a biiiiig swiffer mop
on the 8th day of christmas, my eddie gave to me, eight hundred calories, seven boxes of cheez-its, six crappy movies, five broken hess trucks, four dead red pigeons, three golden carrots, two ear plugs, and a biiiiig swiffer mop
on the 9th day of christmas, my eddie gave to me, nine hours of "pleasure", eight hundred calories, seven boxes of cheez-its, six crappy movies, five broken hess trucks, four dead red pigeons, three golden carrots, two ear plugs, and a biiiiig swiffer mop
on the 10th day of christmas, my eddie gave to me, ten times the action, nine hours of "pleasure", eight hundred calories, seven boxes of cheez-its, six crappy movies, five broken hess trucks, four dead red pigeons, three golden carrots, two ear plugs, and a biiiiig swiffer mop
on the 11th day of christmas, my eddie gave to me, eleven bars of soap, ten times the action, nine hours of "pleasure", eight hundred calories, seven boxes of cheez-its, six crappy movies, five broken hess trucks, four dead red pigeons, three golden carrots, two ear plugs, and a biiiiig swiffer mop
on the 12th day of christmas, my eddie gave to me, twelve books on masterbation skills, eleven bars of soap, ten times the action, nine hours of "pleasure", eight hundred calories, seven boxes of cheez-its, six crappy movies, five broken hess trucks, four dead red pigeons, three golden carrots, two ear plugs, and a biiiiig swiffer mop
Spray (deck) The Halls
spray the halls with cans of febreeze
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
its not the time to laugh, now spray this!
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
now we have a cleaner castle
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la.
find out what we left unfastened
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.
See the blazing fire of the bbq grill
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
dont burn the burgers, join the thrill
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Follow me in merry measure.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
While I tell of eddies cleaning treasures
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Fast away to rid of calories
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
remember the good old merry days
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
now we sing, all together
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
we'll ignore the crappy weather
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
walking in eddies wonderland
Eddie sings,
are you listening,
in his room, everything is glistening,
A beautiful sight,
eddie has succeeded tonight
walking in eddies wonderland
Gone away is the make-up man
here to stay is a lysol can
it sings a love song,
eddie goes along,
walking in eddies wonderland
In the bathroom we can build a snowman,
Then pretend that he is Maestro Brown
He'll say: Are you married?
we'll say: yea man
and you can do the job again
when you're in town.
Later on, we'll take a rest
as we dream by the treasure chest
To face all clean
the plans that we've made,
walking in eddies wonderland
In the bathroom we can build a snowman,
and pretend that he's mr. clean
We'll have lots of fun with mister snowman,
until all the jews next door run in
When eddie cleans, ain't it thrilling,
Though your nose gets a strange feeling
We'll clean not play, the eddie way,
walking in eddies wonderland
walking in eddies wonderland
walking in eddies wonderland
Eddie the snowman
Eddie the snowman was a jolly happy boy,
With a cigarette and a button nose
now's the time for joy
eddie the snowman is a fairy tale, they say,
He was made of clean but the stoners sing how he decided to quit smoking one day.
There must have been some magic in that old lighter they found
For when they placed it on in his hand, he began to dance around.
O, Eddie the snowman was smoke free as he could be,
And the stoners say he could laugh and play just the same as that pine tree
Thumpetty thump thump,thumpety thump thump,
Look at Eddie go.
Thumpetty thump thump,thumpety thump thump,
Under the hills of snow.
Eddie the snowman knew his room was hot that day,
So he said, "Let's run and we'll have some fun
now and burn the calories away.
"Down to the village,with a boner in his hand,
Running here and there all around the square saying, look here if you can
He led them down the streets of boro park right to the jew traffic cop.
And he only paused a moment when he heard him holler "Shhhhhtop!"
For Eddie the snow man had to hurry on his way,
But he waved goodbye saying,"Don't you cry,I'll be stoned again today
"Thumpetty thump thump,thumpety thump thump,
Look at Eddie go.
Thumpetty thump thump,thumpety thump thump,
Under the hills of snow.
Eddies Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer
Eddies Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
Walking home from the "home" on Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
but as for me and eddie we believe.
She'd been drinking too much grape juice
and we begged her not to go.
But she forgot her medication,
and she tripped out the door into the snow.
When we found her Christmas morning,
at the scene of the attack,
she had hoof-prints on her forehead,and incriminating Claus marks on her back.
Now we're all so proud of eddie,
He's been taking this so well.
See him in there watching football,drinking root beer and
playing cards with Cousin Grubin-el.
It's not Christmas without Eddies Grandma,
All the family's dressed in black
and we just can't help but wonder:
Should we open up her gifts,or send them back?
Send them back!!
Now the jews on the table
and the pudding made of hair
and the blue and silver candles
that would just have matched
the hair on grandma's hair
I've warned all my friends and neighbors better watch out for yourselves,
they should never give a license to a man who drives a sleighand plays with elves.
you neva payed (the water bill) so you got playyeddd sann ((to the tune of "o christmas tree"))
ohhh dear eddie, oh dear eddie, you never payed the water bill (plural)
ohhh dear eddie, oh dear eddie, you never payed the water bill (plural)
you never went to work my love,
you never earned a quarter
to buy new gloves
ohhh dear eddie, oh dear eddie, you never payed the water bill (plural)
ohhh dear eddie, oh dear eddie, you never payed the water bill (plural)
you thought that you could get away
but the truth is, i found away
to get around all of your imperfects' (imperfections)
and all the money that i had to pay due to your gambling debts
ohhh dear eddie, oh dear eddie, you never payed the water bill (plural)
ohhh dear eddie, oh dear eddie, you never payed the water bill (plural)
and when i thought that all was lost,
the water bill came flying in fast
it said all of the following,
but i can't type out the great amount of money, so intead i'll sing
ohhh dear eddie, oh dear eddie, you never payed the water bill (plural)
ohhh dear eddie, oh dear eddie, you never payed the water bill (plural)
Jingle Bells
Riding down the road
on my skateboard on the way
to dear eddies house
today we have fun and play (our guitars)
we'll get drunk and eat a monk, cause christmas has begun,
oh,
jingle bells, eddies bathroom smells,
there aint no lysol here
off to path-mark we go,
to put eddie out of fear, hey!
riding down the road
with eddie at my side
as we approach pathmark
we suddenly slip and slide
we crash into a bus
and break all of our bones
we cant help but think
damn we need some clones,
oh
jingle bells, eddies bathroom still smells,
we got hit by bus
we got broke down, we've got no golden crown,
there's nothing left of us, hey!
jingle bells, wishing wells,
picnics in snow, galore!
and now i sit here in my chair
and wonder what all that shit's for, hey!
The 12 days of christmas
on the 1st day of christmas, my eddie gave to me, aaaaaa big swiffer mop
on the 2nd day of christmas, my eddie gave to me, two ear plugs and a biiiiiig swiffer mop
on the 3rd day of christmas, my eddie gave to me, three golden carrots, two ear plugs, and a biiiiig swiffer mop
on the 4th day of christmas, my eddie gave to me, four dead red pigeons, three golden carrots, two ear plugs, and a biiiiig swiffer mop
on the 5th day of christmas, my eddie gave to me, five broken hess trucks, four dead red pigeons, three golden carrots, two ear plugs, and a biiiiig swiffer mop
on the 6th day of christmas, my eddie gave to me, six crappy movies, five broken hess trucks, four dead red pigeons, three golden carrots, two ear plugs, and a biiiiig swiffer mop
on the 7th day of christmas, my eddie gave to me, seven boxes of cheez-its, six crappy movies, five broken hess trucks, four dead red pigeons, three golden carrots, two ear plugs, and a biiiiig swiffer mop
on the 8th day of christmas, my eddie gave to me, eight hundred calories, seven boxes of cheez-its, six crappy movies, five broken hess trucks, four dead red pigeons, three golden carrots, two ear plugs, and a biiiiig swiffer mop
on the 9th day of christmas, my eddie gave to me, nine hours of "pleasure", eight hundred calories, seven boxes of cheez-its, six crappy movies, five broken hess trucks, four dead red pigeons, three golden carrots, two ear plugs, and a biiiiig swiffer mop
on the 10th day of christmas, my eddie gave to me, ten times the action, nine hours of "pleasure", eight hundred calories, seven boxes of cheez-its, six crappy movies, five broken hess trucks, four dead red pigeons, three golden carrots, two ear plugs, and a biiiiig swiffer mop
on the 11th day of christmas, my eddie gave to me, eleven bars of soap, ten times the action, nine hours of "pleasure", eight hundred calories, seven boxes of cheez-its, six crappy movies, five broken hess trucks, four dead red pigeons, three golden carrots, two ear plugs, and a biiiiig swiffer mop
on the 12th day of christmas, my eddie gave to me, twelve books on masterbation skills, eleven bars of soap, ten times the action, nine hours of "pleasure", eight hundred calories, seven boxes of cheez-its, six crappy movies, five broken hess trucks, four dead red pigeons, three golden carrots, two ear plugs, and a biiiiig swiffer mop
Spray (deck) The Halls
spray the halls with cans of febreeze
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
its not the time to laugh, now spray this!
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
now we have a cleaner castle
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la.
find out what we left unfastened
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.
See the blazing fire of the bbq grill
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
dont burn the burgers, join the thrill
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Follow me in merry measure.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
While I tell of eddies cleaning treasures
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Fast away to rid of calories
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
remember the good old merry days
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
now we sing, all together
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
we'll ignore the crappy weather
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
walking in eddies wonderland
Eddie sings,
are you listening,
in his room, everything is glistening,
A beautiful sight,
eddie has succeeded tonight
walking in eddies wonderland
Gone away is the make-up man
here to stay is a lysol can
it sings a love song,
eddie goes along,
walking in eddies wonderland
In the bathroom we can build a snowman,
Then pretend that he is Maestro Brown
He'll say: Are you married?
we'll say: yea man
and you can do the job again
when you're in town.
Later on, we'll take a rest
as we dream by the treasure chest
To face all clean
the plans that we've made,
walking in eddies wonderland
In the bathroom we can build a snowman,
and pretend that he's mr. clean
We'll have lots of fun with mister snowman,
until all the jews next door run in
When eddie cleans, ain't it thrilling,
Though your nose gets a strange feeling
We'll clean not play, the eddie way,
walking in eddies wonderland
walking in eddies wonderland
walking in eddies wonderland
Eddie the snowman
Eddie the snowman was a jolly happy boy,
With a cigarette and a button nose
now's the time for joy
eddie the snowman is a fairy tale, they say,
He was made of clean but the stoners sing how he decided to quit smoking one day.
There must have been some magic in that old lighter they found
For when they placed it on in his hand, he began to dance around.
O, Eddie the snowman was smoke free as he could be,
And the stoners say he could laugh and play just the same as that pine tree
Thumpetty thump thump,thumpety thump thump,
Look at Eddie go.
Thumpetty thump thump,thumpety thump thump,
Under the hills of snow.
Eddie the snowman knew his room was hot that day,
So he said, "Let's run and we'll have some fun
now and burn the calories away.
"Down to the village,with a boner in his hand,
Running here and there all around the square saying, look here if you can
He led them down the streets of boro park right to the jew traffic cop.
And he only paused a moment when he heard him holler "Shhhhhtop!"
For Eddie the snow man had to hurry on his way,
But he waved goodbye saying,"Don't you cry,I'll be stoned again today
"Thumpetty thump thump,thumpety thump thump,
Look at Eddie go.
Thumpetty thump thump,thumpety thump thump,
Under the hills of snow.
Eddies Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer
Eddies Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
Walking home from the "home" on Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
but as for me and eddie we believe.
She'd been drinking too much grape juice
and we begged her not to go.
But she forgot her medication,
and she tripped out the door into the snow.
When we found her Christmas morning,
at the scene of the attack,
she had hoof-prints on her forehead,and incriminating Claus marks on her back.
Now we're all so proud of eddie,
He's been taking this so well.
See him in there watching football,drinking root beer and
playing cards with Cousin Grubin-el.
It's not Christmas without Eddies Grandma,
All the family's dressed in black
and we just can't help but wonder:
Should we open up her gifts,or send them back?
Send them back!!
Now the jews on the table
and the pudding made of hair
and the blue and silver candles
that would just have matched
the hair on grandma's hair
I've warned all my friends and neighbors better watch out for yourselves,
they should never give a license to a man who drives a sleighand plays with elves.