[036] - [Voice]

[wavesoakedlegs]

[Mitsuhide is making an attempt at sounding calm, but it's not working very well. He is grieving over a loss, fearing another loss will happen soon, and is confused as well.]

Those who befriended her should know that Gracia has returned home, as is right.

[A pause.]Every time one of us who wishes to return home does so, it's a good thing. But I

Comments

action;

[behisstrength]

[Motochika doesn't bother to knock on the door to Mitsuhide's room before he enters -- he simply strides straight in. Motochika knows that the last thing Mitsuhide will do is rest under these circumstances.]

action onwards;

[wavesoakedlegs]

[Mitsuhide is laying on his bed, but he is indeed not asleep. He is, instead, staring at the ceiling, hair a loose mess around him. When Motochika enters he doesn't move. He just says, in a quiet voice:]

Lord Motochika.

[behisstrength]

[Motochika walks over to the bed and sits upon the edge of the mattress, angled inwards. He extends a hand and leans to stroke Mitsuhide's cheek.]

How do you feel, Mitsuhide?

[wavesoakedlegs]

As you might expect.

[His eyes close for a brief moment at the the touch; when they open again, his gaze settles on Motochika. He says nothing for a moment before continuing.]

Sad. Afraid. Utterly selfish.

[There is little point in lying about it.]

[behisstrength]

[Motochika nods in acknowledgement, his gaze remaining steady.]

Share your burden, and you may truly find rest.

[wavesoakedlegs]

[A small sigh passes from Mitsuhide's lips.]

What more is there to say?

[He moves a hand to rest on his own chest, clearly tense. Actually, there is plenty more to say, but he is hesitant to speak more deeply about the situation.]

[behisstrength]

All that weighs on your mind. [Motochika moves the hand upon Mitsuhide's cheek to cover Mitsuhide's hand on his chest.] That which drowns your heart.

Give voice to them. Do not silence yourself.

[wavesoakedlegs]

My Lord, I...

[Mitsuhide shakes his head the tiniest amount.]

What good is there to be gained from doing so? Talking about them will not make them easier to bear.

[behisstrength]

You will no longer be alone.

[Motochika replies pointedly.]

[wavesoakedlegs]

[Mitsuhide says nothing immediately. His gaze lingers on Motochika for a moment.]

I will be alone, soon enough.

[He then turns his whole body away, lying on his side.]

A selfish fear, is it not?

[behisstrength]

We are all selfish in part.

[There is a shift of weight on the mattress, as Motochika climbs properly onto the bed.]

More importantly, you are not alone now.

[He runs his palm along the stretch of Mitsuhide's back. Even if Mitsuhide wishes to turn his back, Motochika will pursue.]

Does that not hold more sway than your fear?

[wavesoakedlegs]

I am happy I am not alone, my Lord.

[It is a simple truth, made all the sweeter because the one he is with is the one he loves most. Before he had awoken and found Gracia's name gone from the SFC, he had spent many days basking in it, almost forgetting his troubles.]

[Such a blissful state was unlikely to be his again for quite some time.]

But I cannot simply forget these fears. Not now. One by one I have seen friends leave and offered my prayers, that the heavens may keep them safe and happy in their homes. Now I must do this for Gracia too.

[He closes his eyes.]

One day... I will have to do as such for you.

[behisstrength]

You should not sound so certain of that.

[He says firmly. His tone softens when he speaks next.]

The bonds that you have shared with those who have departed... they remain, carried with you. Grieve, Mitsuhide, but do not forget to move on. There is more for you than loss.

Many months ago Gracia and I made a promise to watch over you together. [There is a brief pause, for recollection.] These were her words: his pals won't give up on him, so he shouldn't either.

Maybe now it is your turn to make one.

[wavesoakedlegs]

I am certain of it.

[There is no doubt in his mind that no matter how stubborn Motochika might be, Vatheon's power was too much to fight against. What man could defeat what was essentially the powers of a deity?]

[Mitsuhide tenses a little more, hand curling into the sheets. He has not heard that before, did not know she ever said such thing, and it touches him. But he can guess what Motochika wants him to say and feels a wave of anxiety in response.]

You are asking for a promise I dare not make.

[behisstrength]

[It is frustrating that eight months in it still returns to that conviction, but fortunately his patience is endless for Mitsuhide. That does not mean, however, that his next words are gentle.]

You intend to give up on yourself?

[wavesoakedlegs]

No.

[He shakes his head a fraction, opening his eyes and staring out of the window.]

I would not dare. Not now. But I cannot promise to never give up on myself. I have done it once before, Lord Motochika. If I were to find myself alone again...

[Mitsuhide doesn't finish the sentence.]

You wished for me to talk about what is in my mind and my heart right now. To put it in the simplest way; I selfishly fear heartbreak, and knowing that I did not cope well the first time has made me certain that I will not cope at all, a second time.