(Untitled)

[wavesofwords]

so. i'm an idiot and thought my workshop was at 8:30, when it's actually at 10. i could still be in bed. this isn't so bad, though - i'm sitting in einsteins listening to good music, so things could definitely be worse

Comments

[sunset_spork]

I feel kind of relieved to hear you say this because I felt the same way last night. I'm willing to cut her generous amounts of slack because I can't imagine how hard it would be to talk about such a personal thing in front of a room full of strangers, but her talk didn't quite include what I had wanted to hear.

I wanted to ask you too, were you annoyed with her response to that guy's question about whether or not people are inhibited in their transitions because of cost? I've done quite a bit of looking around (especially about FTM-related things), and I've seen a lot of younger people especially who struggle to pay for surgery and T. But she kind of made it sound like it was just this internal transformation and money didn't really matter.

[wavesofwords]

yes! that was the part that really got to me!

it's like this: if i'm at point A and my gender identity is at point Z (so that's where i want to be), but i only have enough money to get to point M, that's going to be a big problem for me.

when i do my speaking things i always, always mention how privileged i am. most ftm guys have to wait years to have their chest surgery, and i was able to have mine less than a year after coming out to my family.

some trans folks are able to cope with just the internal transofrmation piece, but i would say that most can't. most who want to transition are completely torn up about it when they can't, and they most often can't because of finances.

so, that's the long version of me saying yes, it made me cranky too.

[sunset_spork]

Besides the self-identity part, I wonder too if the inability to have surgery or get on hormones hurts the "legitimacy" of trans people when they try to come out to straight people or even queer people who haven't had to deal with trans issues. It seems like people would be far more likely to take a trans person seriously if he/she had been able to change something physically.

(I'm sorry if I come off sounding like a know-it-all when you've been there and done that. I don't know as much about trans issues as I'd like to yet.)

[wavesofwords]

you're totally right, though. there's this whole "trans enough" idea that cycles through the trans community constantly. i was really lucky because i was able to pass for almost a whole year before i even went on hormones, because i'm big and tall and my voice was never super high/girly. it's really rough, though, for guys who can't pass because they're super short or their voices are super high or they have a really feminine face or a really big chest or something like that.

plus, starting T (especially) and having surgery is a big fucking deal. for transmen, it's probably the primary milestone in life and typically the first major step to "becoming a man."

anyway, megan is distracting me right now so this probably doesn't make any sense.

[belle_malheur]

this takes away *some of* my guilt for not going. i'm not too involved with the queer community lately and i feel bad about it, there, i said it. BUT what i'm working on next will totally make up for it....*drums fingers together in a VERY mr.burns-eque manner*

[sunset_spork]

Do I hear a GVSU gay pride parade in the works?! ;)

[belle_malheur]

....no *shifty eyes*

[wavesofwords]

what? that would be amazing. is this supposed to be some big secret? i wanna help.

[turtlefetiche]

Jakki actually "tsk tsk"-ed at me for saying I found it boring initially. She defended the speaker by saying it was her first time. I agreed.

But now I don't.

No I do. I think she was so brave for talking ot us at all and that she did have a few interesting things to say. But once the question and answer session started I just turned my brain right off. I felt like she almost actively avoided some of the questions and, whether on purpose or not, she didn't really answer them. It makes me sad because there are so few opportunities for anyone to learn about the issue.

[sunset_spork]

I did not "tsk tsk" you! Did I? Because I'm not a tsk-tsk'er ever... I actually didn't know that it was her first time, but I think I assumed so from how nervous she was.

I think we can all agree that there wasn't enough specific discussion about trans issues. (Did she even mention things like public restrooms? Non-trans people should really learn to chill about that one.) But then again, unfortunately most of the people who really need to be educated were probably not there anyway.

[turtlefetiche]

I'm sure you tsk'ed.

Yeah the bathroom thing? Calm the fuck down, I say. But I do agree that the ones that needed to hear things probably weren't even a part of it, which is so sad.

[sunset_spork]

Okay, I'll give you a single tsk, but certainly not a double. ;)

I've always been entertained by thestupidity of people who exclaim, "You're in the (insert gender)'s restroom!" as though the person walking through the door has difficulty reading the sign/picture or identifying the gender of the people standing around. Obviously the person already knows this if he or she doesn't get immediately embarrassed and turn around...

[prkswllflwr]

you definetly should speak up, if you can.
i really enjoyed the talk you gave down here, you're an asset to the community. speak your mind, even if your voice shakes!

much love,
dara