the sho(w) is not substance
Title: Five Times His Stupid Bandmates Featured in the Nightmares of Matsumoto Jun
Author: waxrose
Rating: PG-13
Pairing(s): Aiba/Jun, some Nino/Jun & OT5
Length: ~3,000 words
Author's Notes: For rhythmia - I'm sorry that this took so long! Thanks to lady_gemma for looking this over! ♥
Jun's manager clears his throat, carefully not looking at any of the colorful magazines spread across the table. "As you can imagine, upper management is not very pleased."
Jun slaps the table, irritated. "I already told you, I didn't do this. Someone must have faked these."
"Matsumoto-san." His manager smiles sympathetically. "It's okay, I already talked to Ninomiya-san and he told me everything. There's no need to be defensive. The important thing right now is that we deal with this as soon as possible, for the sake of the company."
"I told you, I never -" Something clicks in Jun's mind. "Wait, what did Nino tell you?"
IDOLS IN LOVE proclaims the bright, rainbow-colored headline of the paper nearest to Jun. Underneath was a large, grainy black and white photograph of two figures backed up against a brick wall. The one with his back facing the camera had his face hidden in shadow - but any fangirl would have to be blind to miss the large, skull-shaped silver ring glinting off the finger of the hand pressed against the front of the other man's pants.
Nino's face was only half-visible, mostly because he was pressed against Jun too closely to leave any room for misunderstanding.
"You have to understand that this looks very bad for Arashi right now," Jun's manager says seriously. "There will be consequences - Johnny-san has already asked to speak with you and Ninomiya-san later today."
Jun rubs at his face, confused. "Is this a Ni no Ara-" he begins to ask, but is interrupted by a knock at the door. A female staff member opens the door, looking apprehensive.
"That video footage the one article mentioned?" She doesn't look at Jun. "It's hit the Internet."
Jun's manager swears loudly. "I thought they had made that up for publicity!" He's out of his chair and following the staff member out of the room, leaving Jun to jog after him.
This can't be happening, Jun thinks, his heart racing as he rand down the corridor after his manager. He is pretty fucking sure that he would remember sleeping with his bandmate.
He is, however, equally sure that Nino, conniving little ferret that he was, would never do anything to ruin Arashi. And this, faked or not, had the potential to devastate them.
Moreover - and this is what made Jun extremely uneasy - there was a definite limit on what could be faked, what just couldn't not be real. His mind flashes over the images scattered across the meeting room table, the stacks of newsprint arranged in rows at the combini he had stopped by this morning - Nino on his knees, his small hands braced against Jun's hips, Jun's own expression screwed up, his head tilted back - Jun lying naked in what he recognized with a start as Nino's bed, white sheets tangled around his waist -
There are four people, including his manager, crowded around the staff member sitting in front of the laptop when Jun enters the room (Sho, upon a quick glance around the room, is curled up on a couch in the corner, breathing into a paper bag).
Jun walks towards the laptop, his feeling of dread building. The sound of his own voice echoing from the speakers in a long, low moan freezes him in his steps.
The picture is shaky and it's impossible to make anything out clearly, quick movements in a dark room, but Jun can see the outline of Nino's lithe form braced above his body, sharp flashes of moonlight illuminating naked skin in slivers.
Nino leans into his side as Jun stares at the monitor in horror, slipping an arm around his waist. "Ah, we've been discovered, I guess." There's something almost smug in his voice.
"There's more," The staff member holding the laptop says grimly, guiding the mouse to click open a series of windows. Click.
Click.
Click.
The clicking noises are coming from somewhere outside, a fuzzy corner of Jun's brain realizes, stupidly, and just like that, he wakes up to a heavy weight settling on his stomach and opens his eyes to a blinding flash of light.
"Good morning, princess." Nino's voice is ridiculously cheerful for someone about two inches from death. "I bet your fans will love to find out that you drool in your sleep."
*
"It's my decision to make," Sho says, not looking at any of them in the eye. "I've thought it over carefully, and this is what I need to do. This is my dream. You four can go on without me."
"Arashi is five people," Nino says quietly, with a surety that almost breaks Jun's heart. Nino doesn't sound angry, just resigned. Jun can feel Aiba shaking next to him, and he doesn't dare look at anyone. It's all just too fragile.
"I am sorry," Sho says thickly. He sounds like he's already crying. "I'm leaving for Hawaii in the morning, but - I'll keep in touch, okay?"
He turns and leaves, the only sound in the room the swishing of his grass skirt against his bare legs as he walks out of the door.
Aiba sniffles against Ohno's shoulder, tears streaming openly down his face. "We could have all done it together," he whispers quietly, voice breaking. "If he wanted to open up a hula school, he could have just told us."
Ohno slings his arm around Aiba's shoulders, quiet and reassuring. Nino's face is buried in his hands.
"We'll wait for him," Ohno says, his voice strong and confident. "He has to know that."
Jun nods. "Arashi is five people," he echoes, and the words seem to resound somewhere deep inside of him, filling up the walls of the room until all of the colors slid together and he slid out of sleep, blinking at the tilt of the universe.
"Yeah, we are," comes Sho's voice from somewhere above him, and Jun gazes blearily as Sho adjusts his lei with a scowl. "Unless the makeup staff attack your fingers with a straightening iron because we're late. Get your coconuts on, will you?"
*
"You're being a spoilspot," Aiba says loudly, pitching his voice over the thumping bass of the music so that Jun can hear him even with his face buried in his arms on the tabletop. "Have some fun, will you? You're the birthday boy, after all."
Jun grunts halfheartedly, flinching away from Aiba's poking. The flashing lights and loud music are starting to make his head hurt. He doesn't want to yell at Aiba (although that would feel really good right now) because he knows that Aiba meant well - however misguidedly - when he thought that dragging Jun to a fucking strip joint on nine hours of straight filming and only two hours of sleep would be a good idea. Jun had been wistfully contemplating a long bath and a good sleep when he had been jumped from behind, blindfolded and stuffed into Nino's Pajero, with four idiots singing Happy Birthday to him for the entire ride.
Nino however, clearly wasn't in on it for Jun's happiness, and he wasn't giving Jun any chances to thank him. Jun lifted his head enough to squint around in the smoky half-darkness of the club.
He can see Nino by the main stage, egging Leader on into stuffing what looked suspiciously like Monopoly money into one of the dancer's bras.
"I'm going home," Jun says, and he means it. He stands up, feeling rather unsteadily on his legs, and he's barely managed to reach for his jacket before Aiba is pushing him back into his chair, strong hands pinning down his shoulders.
"You can't leave now," Aiba says, moving around the chair so he's standing behind Jun. He dips his head down, the ends of his bangs brushing ticklishly against Jun's ear. "Or else you'll miss the surprise."
Sho appears in Jun's field of vision, grinning broadly and mysteriously shirtless. "Matsujun," he says proudly, and Jun tenses, getting a bad feeling about this entire situation, "Happy birthday!"
There's a whirring noise to Jun's left and Jun glances over to see Nino checking the settings on his digital camera with an expression of utter bliss. Ohno is slumped against Nino's shoulder, eyes crossing as he folds the last of his Monopoly money into little origami cranes.
"Nothing says 'Happy Birthday' like a lap dance," Nino says smugly and Aiba laughs against Jun's ear, low and amused. Jun fights back a shiver.
"Matsumoto-sama." There is a squeaky tremor of happiness in that voice and Jun freezes, suddenly very, very afraid.
It's hard to tell which is brighter, Ooshima-san's smile or the flashing red sequins on her bikini.
Jun wakes up screaming.
*
"It must have been when that baby panther bit me last month," Aiba says seriously, as the other four crowd around to a good look at the long, elegant black black tail poking out above the low rise of Aiba’s jeans.
Sho is pinching the bridge of his nose. "This is bad," he repeats to himself. "Very, very bad."
"Why?" Aiba asks winsomely. "It’s cool, isn’t it? No other idol group has a member with a tail."
Ohno strokes the sleek black fur. "Pretty," he agrees.
"It’s just the tail, then?" Sho asks, hands on his hips. "No urges for raw meat or anything?"
"I did have to shave a little more than usual this morning," Aiba admits, and adds, "Yakuniku would be nice!"
Nino gives a sharp tug on the tail, making Aiba yowl. "Yup, it’s real," he confirms, ducking Aiba’s swipe at his head.
"We’re taking you to the doctor," Sho says.
"But I like it," Aiba says sadly. "Can’t I keep it?" He moves his tail in sad little side-to-side flicks, thumping it against the side of Jun’s legs.
"Oh, let him," Jun says finally, and the others stare at him. "We don’t even know how they’d remove it, anyways. We’ll just have to go on-air like this."
Aiba brightens, crashing against Jun’s side happily. "Mrrrow!" he tells Jun happily.
"What?" Jun asks, confused, but Aiba just purrs at him, his tongue darting out to lick at Jun’s eyelid.
It’s wet and warm and Jun wrinkles his face, listening to the purrs getting louder, closer against his ear. He hears the low rumble of Aiba’s snores beside him and reality suddenly hits him in one big wave, consciousness flooding back.
Mochi-chan protests as Jun gently shoves her off of his face, but she settles down on top of the blankets cozily enough in the space between Aiba and Jun’s bodies, head tucked in next to her sweet little white paws, purring deeply.
"What the hell," Jun says out loud. "What the hell."
Aiba’s answer is a resounding snore.
*
"Hurry," Aiba says urgently, voice strained as they rush through the hallway, "Jun, hurry!"
Jun's feet feel like cement blocks, and even though he is panting with the effort from running, his entire body feels sluggish, heavy. He can hear him right behind them, screaming. Jun can't hear what the words; his heart is pounding too loudly in his ears. Aiba is breathing harshly behind Jun, his hand hot and sweaty in Jun's own.
They aren't moving fast enough. Jun tugs on Aiba's hand and wills his feet to move faster; one glance over his shoulder and Jun can see their pursuer gaining ground. Stringy hair and a wicked grin, his bony fingers wrapped lovingly around a knife, which drips blood onto the bright white tiled floor.
Ohno's blood.
Jun feels sick, a sob rising somewhere inside him, but they have to keep running. The hallways are empty, maybe everyone has already gotten away or found safety. There is no one to call for help, though, and they are sixteen stories up with a deranged lunatic who has already killed one of their bandmates, easily and casually.
No one had even noticed the intruder in the break room, staff popped in and out all of the time anyways and Ohno hadn't even had time to cry out before the man had slit his throat, leaving him to fall back onto the couch, eyes wide and glassy - before the killer caught sight of Jun and Aiba, standing frozen and horrified in the doorway.
Aiba is laughing now, breathless pants, barely audible over the killer's screams and Jun can't pull him along: he's tugging back, trying to let go of Jun's hand.
"I can't," Jun says, but Aiba keeps laughing. Jun risks a glance around and God, the killer is right there, they're both going to die.
"Let me go," Aiba says seriously, and Jun doesn't know why. "Jun, you can make it if you go on alone." He wrenches his hand out of Jun's and gives him a small smile. "You're going to be okay."
"No." Jun reaches for Aiba's hand, but he seems to drift farther away, like the hallway is stretching. "Masaki, please - " Jun is panicking, he knows he's repeating himself and he can't put together the words to tell Aiba that he can't go on without him.
"Go," Aiba says and he turns around. Jun can only see the killer's face now: triumphant, advancing on Aiba. "Don't look back, okay?"
Jun runs, and it's like he's barely even breathing, his legs are as light as a feather and he could go on forever. He can hear Aiba screaming -
"- that tickles, you moron, stop it!" Jun blinks against the bright, florescent lighting, letting his eyes flutter shut again. His heart is still racing and he tries to re-orient himself. Just a dream.
"You're awake." Jun had fallen asleep with his feet resting in Sho's lap. He can feel the edges of the newspaper pages brushing against them. Sho smiles at him gently and Jun struggles to sit up a little on the couch, rubbing at his eyes. "Are you okay? You were kind of twisting around a bit and muttering."
"Just a bad dream," Jun says, looking past Sho to where Ohno is curled up on the other couch, utterly absorbed in his sketchbook - very much alive, if not mentally all that present.
It calms Jun down a bit - he knows it wasn't real, that it was all in his head, but he saw Ohno get killed right before his eyes, he left Aiba at the mercy of the same killer and ran for it - Jun knows that it's stupid to over-analyze dreams, because they are fragments of fear and desire and discarded thought mashed together until they can't really mean anything at all.
"Didn't sound like a bad dream to me." Nino flops on his stomach over the back of the couch, poking at Jun's knee. He grins and pitches his voice higher, breathless. "Masaki, please."
Aiba comes up behind Nino, shoving him over the top of the couch so that his face was smushed into Jun's knee. "You're just jealous that Jun-chan isn't having afternoon sex dreams about you," he informs Nino loftily.
Sho held his newspaper at arm's length as Nino's feet, which were sticking straight up into the air, wavered and fell towards his lap.
"Was I good, Matsujun?" Aiba perches on the arm of the couch. He pokes at Jun's arm. "Was I wild?" He sticks one leg out and preens in a way that he seemed to feel was sexy, but mostly just unbalanced him enough to fall off the couch altogether.
Jun blinks. What is most disturbing is that everyone is actually waiting for an answer. Ohno looks up from his sketchbook expectantly. All Jun can see of Sho's face behind his newspaper is the red tips of his ears, but he has yet to actually turn a page. Nino has stopped shifting around and trying to get comfortable squished between Jun and Sho on the couch.
"Like I said," Jun says, shoving Nino's head out of his lap and grabbing his water bottle off the table in front of the couch. "It was a bad dream."
That seems to satisfy everyone, as Sho and Nino laugh at Aiba’s dejected face. After Aiba pulls Nino into another ticklefight until the staff come to fetch them for the beginning of the shoot, it's completely forgotten.
Or so Jun thinks.
Aiba pulls Jun back as the other three go ahead of them out into the hallway, the touch of his warm finger startling on Jun's elbow.
"What is it?" Jun asks, impatient.
Aiba looks at him seriously. "Sometimes, I dream that I'm back at the hospital," he admits quietly. "Only I can hear everyone, but I can't move. The doctors keep saying that I won't make it and I can hear my mom crying."
Jun feels a weight settle in his chest, a sharp lump of grief. "Masaki," he says quietly.
"Once, I dreamt that Sho-chan got shot while we were waving at a crowd of fans," Aiba continues blithely. He smiles painfully at Jun and tucks his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. "Sometimes, you get angry at me in my dreams and I don't understand why. You say things like -" Aiba pauses. "Sometimes you all just leave me behind somehow."
The other three are already far ahead of them, their voices barely still echoing through the corridor, so Jun shuts the door. He sits down on the arm of the sofa and lets Aiba card his fingers through his hair.
"It was just a stupid dream," Jun says finally, "It doesn't mean anything. I know that."
Aiba nudges him over so that they can share the sofa arm. "If you're afraid that you'll lose something, then you'll hold onto it tightly." He's warm all along Jun's side and Jun feels a sudden rush of feelings - gratitude, fear, affection, happiness - deep and swelling within him that Aiba is next to him, safe, and there. "Isn't that what it means?"
Jun feels a sharp, breaking vulnerability inside of him, something hot and stretched-thin that he can't even begin to express. He reaches for Aiba's hand, his cold fingers wrapping around Aiba's warm ones, their palms sliding together.
Aiba smiles at him brightly as their fingers lace together, a strong and sure bond. "You see?"
And Jun does.
FIN
cross-posted to kotobayori
Author: waxrose
Rating: PG-13
Pairing(s): Aiba/Jun, some Nino/Jun & OT5
Length: ~3,000 words
Author's Notes: For rhythmia - I'm sorry that this took so long! Thanks to lady_gemma for looking this over! ♥
Jun's manager clears his throat, carefully not looking at any of the colorful magazines spread across the table. "As you can imagine, upper management is not very pleased."
Jun slaps the table, irritated. "I already told you, I didn't do this. Someone must have faked these."
"Matsumoto-san." His manager smiles sympathetically. "It's okay, I already talked to Ninomiya-san and he told me everything. There's no need to be defensive. The important thing right now is that we deal with this as soon as possible, for the sake of the company."
"I told you, I never -" Something clicks in Jun's mind. "Wait, what did Nino tell you?"
IDOLS IN LOVE proclaims the bright, rainbow-colored headline of the paper nearest to Jun. Underneath was a large, grainy black and white photograph of two figures backed up against a brick wall. The one with his back facing the camera had his face hidden in shadow - but any fangirl would have to be blind to miss the large, skull-shaped silver ring glinting off the finger of the hand pressed against the front of the other man's pants.
Nino's face was only half-visible, mostly because he was pressed against Jun too closely to leave any room for misunderstanding.
"You have to understand that this looks very bad for Arashi right now," Jun's manager says seriously. "There will be consequences - Johnny-san has already asked to speak with you and Ninomiya-san later today."
Jun rubs at his face, confused. "Is this a Ni no Ara-" he begins to ask, but is interrupted by a knock at the door. A female staff member opens the door, looking apprehensive.
"That video footage the one article mentioned?" She doesn't look at Jun. "It's hit the Internet."
Jun's manager swears loudly. "I thought they had made that up for publicity!" He's out of his chair and following the staff member out of the room, leaving Jun to jog after him.
This can't be happening, Jun thinks, his heart racing as he rand down the corridor after his manager. He is pretty fucking sure that he would remember sleeping with his bandmate.
He is, however, equally sure that Nino, conniving little ferret that he was, would never do anything to ruin Arashi. And this, faked or not, had the potential to devastate them.
Moreover - and this is what made Jun extremely uneasy - there was a definite limit on what could be faked, what just couldn't not be real. His mind flashes over the images scattered across the meeting room table, the stacks of newsprint arranged in rows at the combini he had stopped by this morning - Nino on his knees, his small hands braced against Jun's hips, Jun's own expression screwed up, his head tilted back - Jun lying naked in what he recognized with a start as Nino's bed, white sheets tangled around his waist -
There are four people, including his manager, crowded around the staff member sitting in front of the laptop when Jun enters the room (Sho, upon a quick glance around the room, is curled up on a couch in the corner, breathing into a paper bag).
Jun walks towards the laptop, his feeling of dread building. The sound of his own voice echoing from the speakers in a long, low moan freezes him in his steps.
The picture is shaky and it's impossible to make anything out clearly, quick movements in a dark room, but Jun can see the outline of Nino's lithe form braced above his body, sharp flashes of moonlight illuminating naked skin in slivers.
Nino leans into his side as Jun stares at the monitor in horror, slipping an arm around his waist. "Ah, we've been discovered, I guess." There's something almost smug in his voice.
"There's more," The staff member holding the laptop says grimly, guiding the mouse to click open a series of windows. Click.
Click.
Click.
The clicking noises are coming from somewhere outside, a fuzzy corner of Jun's brain realizes, stupidly, and just like that, he wakes up to a heavy weight settling on his stomach and opens his eyes to a blinding flash of light.
"Good morning, princess." Nino's voice is ridiculously cheerful for someone about two inches from death. "I bet your fans will love to find out that you drool in your sleep."
*
"It's my decision to make," Sho says, not looking at any of them in the eye. "I've thought it over carefully, and this is what I need to do. This is my dream. You four can go on without me."
"Arashi is five people," Nino says quietly, with a surety that almost breaks Jun's heart. Nino doesn't sound angry, just resigned. Jun can feel Aiba shaking next to him, and he doesn't dare look at anyone. It's all just too fragile.
"I am sorry," Sho says thickly. He sounds like he's already crying. "I'm leaving for Hawaii in the morning, but - I'll keep in touch, okay?"
He turns and leaves, the only sound in the room the swishing of his grass skirt against his bare legs as he walks out of the door.
Aiba sniffles against Ohno's shoulder, tears streaming openly down his face. "We could have all done it together," he whispers quietly, voice breaking. "If he wanted to open up a hula school, he could have just told us."
Ohno slings his arm around Aiba's shoulders, quiet and reassuring. Nino's face is buried in his hands.
"We'll wait for him," Ohno says, his voice strong and confident. "He has to know that."
Jun nods. "Arashi is five people," he echoes, and the words seem to resound somewhere deep inside of him, filling up the walls of the room until all of the colors slid together and he slid out of sleep, blinking at the tilt of the universe.
"Yeah, we are," comes Sho's voice from somewhere above him, and Jun gazes blearily as Sho adjusts his lei with a scowl. "Unless the makeup staff attack your fingers with a straightening iron because we're late. Get your coconuts on, will you?"
*
"You're being a spoilspot," Aiba says loudly, pitching his voice over the thumping bass of the music so that Jun can hear him even with his face buried in his arms on the tabletop. "Have some fun, will you? You're the birthday boy, after all."
Jun grunts halfheartedly, flinching away from Aiba's poking. The flashing lights and loud music are starting to make his head hurt. He doesn't want to yell at Aiba (although that would feel really good right now) because he knows that Aiba meant well - however misguidedly - when he thought that dragging Jun to a fucking strip joint on nine hours of straight filming and only two hours of sleep would be a good idea. Jun had been wistfully contemplating a long bath and a good sleep when he had been jumped from behind, blindfolded and stuffed into Nino's Pajero, with four idiots singing Happy Birthday to him for the entire ride.
Nino however, clearly wasn't in on it for Jun's happiness, and he wasn't giving Jun any chances to thank him. Jun lifted his head enough to squint around in the smoky half-darkness of the club.
He can see Nino by the main stage, egging Leader on into stuffing what looked suspiciously like Monopoly money into one of the dancer's bras.
"I'm going home," Jun says, and he means it. He stands up, feeling rather unsteadily on his legs, and he's barely managed to reach for his jacket before Aiba is pushing him back into his chair, strong hands pinning down his shoulders.
"You can't leave now," Aiba says, moving around the chair so he's standing behind Jun. He dips his head down, the ends of his bangs brushing ticklishly against Jun's ear. "Or else you'll miss the surprise."
Sho appears in Jun's field of vision, grinning broadly and mysteriously shirtless. "Matsujun," he says proudly, and Jun tenses, getting a bad feeling about this entire situation, "Happy birthday!"
There's a whirring noise to Jun's left and Jun glances over to see Nino checking the settings on his digital camera with an expression of utter bliss. Ohno is slumped against Nino's shoulder, eyes crossing as he folds the last of his Monopoly money into little origami cranes.
"Nothing says 'Happy Birthday' like a lap dance," Nino says smugly and Aiba laughs against Jun's ear, low and amused. Jun fights back a shiver.
"Matsumoto-sama." There is a squeaky tremor of happiness in that voice and Jun freezes, suddenly very, very afraid.
It's hard to tell which is brighter, Ooshima-san's smile or the flashing red sequins on her bikini.
Jun wakes up screaming.
*
"It must have been when that baby panther bit me last month," Aiba says seriously, as the other four crowd around to a good look at the long, elegant black black tail poking out above the low rise of Aiba’s jeans.
Sho is pinching the bridge of his nose. "This is bad," he repeats to himself. "Very, very bad."
"Why?" Aiba asks winsomely. "It’s cool, isn’t it? No other idol group has a member with a tail."
Ohno strokes the sleek black fur. "Pretty," he agrees.
"It’s just the tail, then?" Sho asks, hands on his hips. "No urges for raw meat or anything?"
"I did have to shave a little more than usual this morning," Aiba admits, and adds, "Yakuniku would be nice!"
Nino gives a sharp tug on the tail, making Aiba yowl. "Yup, it’s real," he confirms, ducking Aiba’s swipe at his head.
"We’re taking you to the doctor," Sho says.
"But I like it," Aiba says sadly. "Can’t I keep it?" He moves his tail in sad little side-to-side flicks, thumping it against the side of Jun’s legs.
"Oh, let him," Jun says finally, and the others stare at him. "We don’t even know how they’d remove it, anyways. We’ll just have to go on-air like this."
Aiba brightens, crashing against Jun’s side happily. "Mrrrow!" he tells Jun happily.
"What?" Jun asks, confused, but Aiba just purrs at him, his tongue darting out to lick at Jun’s eyelid.
It’s wet and warm and Jun wrinkles his face, listening to the purrs getting louder, closer against his ear. He hears the low rumble of Aiba’s snores beside him and reality suddenly hits him in one big wave, consciousness flooding back.
Mochi-chan protests as Jun gently shoves her off of his face, but she settles down on top of the blankets cozily enough in the space between Aiba and Jun’s bodies, head tucked in next to her sweet little white paws, purring deeply.
"What the hell," Jun says out loud. "What the hell."
Aiba’s answer is a resounding snore.
*
"Hurry," Aiba says urgently, voice strained as they rush through the hallway, "Jun, hurry!"
Jun's feet feel like cement blocks, and even though he is panting with the effort from running, his entire body feels sluggish, heavy. He can hear him right behind them, screaming. Jun can't hear what the words; his heart is pounding too loudly in his ears. Aiba is breathing harshly behind Jun, his hand hot and sweaty in Jun's own.
They aren't moving fast enough. Jun tugs on Aiba's hand and wills his feet to move faster; one glance over his shoulder and Jun can see their pursuer gaining ground. Stringy hair and a wicked grin, his bony fingers wrapped lovingly around a knife, which drips blood onto the bright white tiled floor.
Ohno's blood.
Jun feels sick, a sob rising somewhere inside him, but they have to keep running. The hallways are empty, maybe everyone has already gotten away or found safety. There is no one to call for help, though, and they are sixteen stories up with a deranged lunatic who has already killed one of their bandmates, easily and casually.
No one had even noticed the intruder in the break room, staff popped in and out all of the time anyways and Ohno hadn't even had time to cry out before the man had slit his throat, leaving him to fall back onto the couch, eyes wide and glassy - before the killer caught sight of Jun and Aiba, standing frozen and horrified in the doorway.
Aiba is laughing now, breathless pants, barely audible over the killer's screams and Jun can't pull him along: he's tugging back, trying to let go of Jun's hand.
"I can't," Jun says, but Aiba keeps laughing. Jun risks a glance around and God, the killer is right there, they're both going to die.
"Let me go," Aiba says seriously, and Jun doesn't know why. "Jun, you can make it if you go on alone." He wrenches his hand out of Jun's and gives him a small smile. "You're going to be okay."
"No." Jun reaches for Aiba's hand, but he seems to drift farther away, like the hallway is stretching. "Masaki, please - " Jun is panicking, he knows he's repeating himself and he can't put together the words to tell Aiba that he can't go on without him.
"Go," Aiba says and he turns around. Jun can only see the killer's face now: triumphant, advancing on Aiba. "Don't look back, okay?"
Jun runs, and it's like he's barely even breathing, his legs are as light as a feather and he could go on forever. He can hear Aiba screaming -
"- that tickles, you moron, stop it!" Jun blinks against the bright, florescent lighting, letting his eyes flutter shut again. His heart is still racing and he tries to re-orient himself. Just a dream.
"You're awake." Jun had fallen asleep with his feet resting in Sho's lap. He can feel the edges of the newspaper pages brushing against them. Sho smiles at him gently and Jun struggles to sit up a little on the couch, rubbing at his eyes. "Are you okay? You were kind of twisting around a bit and muttering."
"Just a bad dream," Jun says, looking past Sho to where Ohno is curled up on the other couch, utterly absorbed in his sketchbook - very much alive, if not mentally all that present.
It calms Jun down a bit - he knows it wasn't real, that it was all in his head, but he saw Ohno get killed right before his eyes, he left Aiba at the mercy of the same killer and ran for it - Jun knows that it's stupid to over-analyze dreams, because they are fragments of fear and desire and discarded thought mashed together until they can't really mean anything at all.
"Didn't sound like a bad dream to me." Nino flops on his stomach over the back of the couch, poking at Jun's knee. He grins and pitches his voice higher, breathless. "Masaki, please."
Aiba comes up behind Nino, shoving him over the top of the couch so that his face was smushed into Jun's knee. "You're just jealous that Jun-chan isn't having afternoon sex dreams about you," he informs Nino loftily.
Sho held his newspaper at arm's length as Nino's feet, which were sticking straight up into the air, wavered and fell towards his lap.
"Was I good, Matsujun?" Aiba perches on the arm of the couch. He pokes at Jun's arm. "Was I wild?" He sticks one leg out and preens in a way that he seemed to feel was sexy, but mostly just unbalanced him enough to fall off the couch altogether.
Jun blinks. What is most disturbing is that everyone is actually waiting for an answer. Ohno looks up from his sketchbook expectantly. All Jun can see of Sho's face behind his newspaper is the red tips of his ears, but he has yet to actually turn a page. Nino has stopped shifting around and trying to get comfortable squished between Jun and Sho on the couch.
"Like I said," Jun says, shoving Nino's head out of his lap and grabbing his water bottle off the table in front of the couch. "It was a bad dream."
That seems to satisfy everyone, as Sho and Nino laugh at Aiba’s dejected face. After Aiba pulls Nino into another ticklefight until the staff come to fetch them for the beginning of the shoot, it's completely forgotten.
Or so Jun thinks.
Aiba pulls Jun back as the other three go ahead of them out into the hallway, the touch of his warm finger startling on Jun's elbow.
"What is it?" Jun asks, impatient.
Aiba looks at him seriously. "Sometimes, I dream that I'm back at the hospital," he admits quietly. "Only I can hear everyone, but I can't move. The doctors keep saying that I won't make it and I can hear my mom crying."
Jun feels a weight settle in his chest, a sharp lump of grief. "Masaki," he says quietly.
"Once, I dreamt that Sho-chan got shot while we were waving at a crowd of fans," Aiba continues blithely. He smiles painfully at Jun and tucks his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. "Sometimes, you get angry at me in my dreams and I don't understand why. You say things like -" Aiba pauses. "Sometimes you all just leave me behind somehow."
The other three are already far ahead of them, their voices barely still echoing through the corridor, so Jun shuts the door. He sits down on the arm of the sofa and lets Aiba card his fingers through his hair.
"It was just a stupid dream," Jun says finally, "It doesn't mean anything. I know that."
Aiba nudges him over so that they can share the sofa arm. "If you're afraid that you'll lose something, then you'll hold onto it tightly." He's warm all along Jun's side and Jun feels a sudden rush of feelings - gratitude, fear, affection, happiness - deep and swelling within him that Aiba is next to him, safe, and there. "Isn't that what it means?"
Jun feels a sharp, breaking vulnerability inside of him, something hot and stretched-thin that he can't even begin to express. He reaches for Aiba's hand, his cold fingers wrapping around Aiba's warm ones, their palms sliding together.
Aiba smiles at him brightly as their fingers lace together, a strong and sure bond. "You see?"
And Jun does.
FIN
cross-posted to kotobayori