Saudade [2/2]
Title: Saudade [2/2]
Rating: PG-13
Length: ~13,000 words
Pairing Ohno/Nino
Summary: Set six years into the future: Ohno hears about it first from Nino…
They almost miss the morning ferry because Nori had spotted a seagull pecking at something in the sand just behind the house and darted out of the patio door and down the beach while Ohno was cleaning out the litterboxes. It's close, but they do make it and Ohno finally lets himself relax while the boat pulls away from shore, the tiny island slowly fading from sight.
Jun looks more tense than he has in days, pacing the deck of the small boat in tight circles. He's making Ohno dizzy. It's no better once they're in the van, with their manager filling them in as they drive towards the studio. Jun stays quiet and Ohno finds it difficult to fill the gaps in conversation - that's not usually left to him.
Everyone else has already arrived; Ohno can already see the three of them sitting around a table in the briefing room as they walk down the hallway. Aiba is facing the open door and he jumps up when he notices them walking down the hallway and yells, "HERE THEY ARE!" loudly enough to make Sho jump in his seat and Jun twitch beside Ohno.
It takes things awhile to settle down once they get into the room, since everyone needs to be greeted and hugged. Jun looks like he's trying his best to act normal and cool, but Aiba's leaving him no space to feel awkward anyways. He takes Jun by one arm, shoving him into a chair and starts chattering about koala bears and beaches.
"It's good to see you," Sho says, hugging Ohno warmly. Ohno tucks his chin against Sho's shoulder, hanging on for just a minute longer than necessary. Sho has buzzed his hair a a little shorter than usual and his shoulders look and feel somehow broader - in his crisp white dress shirt and tie, he looks startlingly older, more determined.
Nino is standing just behind Sho, grinning. Ohno smiles at him. "Hey," he says softly.
"Sho-chan, you're hogging Captain." Nino pries Sho off Ohno and pulls Ohno into a fierce hug. "Oh-chan."
"Welcome home," Ohno breathes against Nino's shoulder. He runs his hands over Nino's back, closing his eyes. It shouldn't feel so good to hold Nino again, but Ohno shoves that voice into the back of his mind, enjoying the warm solidity of Nino against him. He pulls back, holding Nino at arm's length so he can get a good look at him. He looks tanned and tired, but he's smiling back at Ohno and that's what really counts.
"It's a didgeridoo!" Aiba has apparently gotten impatient with waiting to give out souvenirs and is currently brandishing a long, thick painted wooden tube into Jun's face. "This old village dude showed me how to play it, see -"
Aiba raises one end of the instrument to his mouth, taking a deep breath. He screws his eyes shut and puffs out his cheeks. The instrument booms out a low, loud droning noise, interrupted by strange, high-pitched gurgling noises.
He finishes and pulls the tube away from his mouth, red-faced and beaming, gasping for breath. "How was it?"
There's an awed silence.
"Good god," Sho says finally. "It's like listening to Nino gargle mouthwash in the morning."
Nino whacks Sho on the back of his head. "Say that again and you're getting the Vegemite."
"Look, look, I can show you how to use it, Matsujun!" Aiba hands over the tube to a wary-looking Jun. "Just grasp the shaft with both hands and bring it to your mouth."
"Masaki - " Sho says, sounding pained.
"Once you get the drone going, try tightening and loosening your lips and moving your tongue into -"
"Aiba-chan," Nino interrupts. "Why don't you give Jun his gift from me?"
"That's really not -" Jun starts, but blinks when Aiba digs in his bag and produces a small, coral green box. Ohno peers over Sho's shoulder while Jun opens the box and catches a glimpse of a pressed metal pendant in a stylized Hindu Om symbol on a black string. Jun traces the curves of the pendant, looking surprised.
"Thank you," Jun says finally, smiling sincerely up at Nino. "It's perfect. I love it."
"That," Nino says with dignity. "Is because some of us have taste."
"I want to wear it on-air." Jun unties the cord carefully, looping it around his neck. Sho steps behind him, catching the ends and carefully knotting them at the back of his neck.
"You doing okay?" Ohno hears Sho mutter to Jun, voice low and concerned. Jun's expression darkens a little, exasperated, but he just mutters something under his breath that Ohno doesn't catch.
A staff member pokes her head in the door. "Arashi-san, five minutes!" she chirps.
"This is going to be so great," Aiba declares, thumping his hands against the table rhythmically. "We're going to have such an awesome New Year's, you guys! We can stay up all night and get drunk and talk and talk and - "
"Aiba -chan..." Ohno warns belatedly.
"What do you mean, we?" Jun asks dangerously.
*
Jun is not easily coaxed out of his mood, and the interviewer looks more than a little uneasy by the time the hour is up. Jun doesn’t snap or snarl, but there’s an almost palpable rolling boil of anger just beneath the surface and his answers are curt and edged, with little hint of his usual warm charm.
Sho drags Aiba off to help him grab coffee for everyone afterwards and they leave Jun to Ohno and Nino the break room. Jun has already grabbed his jacket and taken over a corner of the biggest, squishiest couch in the room, earbuds jammed into his ears and hat almost pulled over his eyes.
Ohno shifts on his feet, feeling a little useless. Luckily for him, Nino’s in the mood to take charge.
Jun’s expression turns a little dangerous when Nino invades his personal space and slides into his lap, but he doesn’t shove him off, not even when Nino hooks his hands into the front pockets of Jun’s jacket and makes a big show of settling down comfortably, straddling Jun’s legs.
"If you’re finished pouting -" Nino peels one earbud out of Jun’s ear, "Aiba-chan thought Satoshi had already told you. It’s not like we were plotting against you."
"I thought we could surprise him," Ohno puts in, rather lamely.
"It’s okay." Nino swings Jun’s earbud in a slow circle by its cord. He keeps looking at Jun. "What the hell is wrong with spending New Year’s with all of us, anyways? I thought you’d like it. It’s better than hanging out with grandpa, there." He jabs a thumb over his shoulder back at Ohno. "He’d just make you instant ramen and fall asleep before ten."
Ohno knows Nino and he knows that’s his cue to come in. He slides down beside Jun on the couch just in time to see the corners of Jun’s mouth poking up in a little smile. "I wouldn’t. We’d get pissed drunk and run naked down the beach."
"You’ve read Aiba’s plan then, have you?" Nino asks. He swings Jun’s earbud at Ohno’s face, just missing his nose by an inch.
"Idiot," Jun catches Nino’s wrist and grabs his earbuds back. "You’re going to break them."
"I’m sorry I didn’t tell you," Ohno says suddenly, because it finally occurs to him what Jun might want to hear. "I would have told you - I just didn’t want you to say no."
Jun grunts, shifting under Nino’s weight. "I wouldn’t have said no, I just -" He looks away from Ohno, towards the wall. "I hate this. I hate everyone treating me like I’m so fucking delicate. It just feels like everyone’s talking about me." The rims of his eyes look kind of wet, and he won’t look directly at either of them. "I wanted to get away from that."
"Everyone’s just worried." Ohno speaks at the same instant Nino does and he doesn't quite catch what Nino said, he only hears "princess". That alone pretty much explains why two minutes later, as Aiba and Sho are walking in the door, Nino is still lying on the floor complaining loudly about how sore his ass is.
"Do you really think he’s okay?" Sho asks Ohno urgently a few minutes later.
Ohno looks over to where Jun is laughing at Aiba’s attempts to play A.RA.SHI on his didigeridoo (or maybe at Nino’s attempts to make Aiba eke out some high notes by kicking him in the delicate bits during the chorus). "Yeah, I think so."
"I know he just wants to forget about it." Sho takes a sip of his coffee. "And I know that he can take care of himself, but he shouldn’t have to be alone, you know? He has us."
Ohno shrugged, leaning in comfortably against Sho’s side. "I think he needs us to be normal for him."
Sho throws him a dubious look while Aiba chases Nino past them, thwacking him in the head with the long, wooden tube and clutching at his crotch with his free hand. "Isn’t that a little too much to ask?"
"I think it’s about being constant." Ohno isn’t really sure where’s he going with this, but it makes some sort of sense in his head. "Because we’ve all been together forever and we haven’t changed. Not to each other. I think he might - you know, need that. If we don’t change, then at least he has us."
Sho seems to consider that for a moment. "Huh." He takes a sip of coffee. "That sounds kind of pathetic, you know."
"Leader," Jun calls from the couch, "We’d better hurry if we’re going to pick up groceries before we all catch the ferry." He says it casually, but his smile is a bit nervous and overly bright around the edges.
Aiba tosses his coffee cup towards the garbage like a basketball player shooting from the three-point line. "Sho-chan has to stay in town until tonight, so we’re both going to come over together tomorrow," he announces, moving to scoop the cup off the floor after he misses by a good two feet. "We can pick up groceries, so you don’t have to worry about them now."
"Why are you going to stay?" Nino asks, eyebrows drawing together in confusion. "You didn’t say anything about -"
"That’s not a bad idea," Sho interjects, "Matusjun, why don’t you stay in, too? You need to get some more clothes from your place, right? You guys can meet me after I finish taping and the three of us can go together."
"Um," Jun says, and Ohno isn’t stupid, he can see Aiba poking Jun urgently in the side. "Yeah, okay."
"We could all stay - " Ohno starts to offer, but Sho waves a hand at him dismissingly.
"You may as well head back, Captain. Don’t worry about groceries and stuff, we’ll take care of it. You and Nino can get the house ready."
"You didn’t leave enough food out for the cats to leave them alone all night," Jun points out.
"Should we go, then?" Nino says. He’s still looking at Sho. His expression is a little bit odd, but he flashes Ohno a bright smile a second later. "I’m starting to think they just don’t want to put up with me barfing all the way to Toshimajima."
*
There’s a storm coming up as the ferry sets off. The waves are high and choppy, breaking grey against the side of the boat and spraying cold mist. Nino doesn’t barf, but it’s a close thing.
They take refuge inside once the rain starts and Nino squishes onto the same chair as Ohno, his windbreaker pulled up around his ears and his face miserable. Ohno rubs Nino’s back soothingly in small circles, listening to the patter of the rain against the windows and the soft, laughing chatter of the other passengers.
They get soaked between the docks and Ohno’s house, since there’s practically no cover on the main paths and neither of them have an umbrella. Ohno can feel his teeth chattering as they drag Nino’s bags up his front steps and he fumbles for the keys.
His kittens appear the minute Ohno pushes the door open, mewling and curling around their legs.
"You didn’t change it," Nino says, and it takes Ohno a second to realize that he means the door. Nino bends down to rub his finger behind Shizuka’s ears while trying not to puddle too badly on Ohno’s entranceway. "Hiya, Shizu-chan."
Ohno shrugs. "I like it," he says honestly. And he does. The bright yellow doorway is easily visible against the muted pebble blue. It’s warm and cheerful and welcoming.
Nino straightens up, considering Ohno. He smiles and tugs on one of the wet strands of hair falling into Ohno’s eyes. "Shower?"
"I claim first," Ohno mumbles, peeling off his wet jacket. He’s freezing and shaking and in no mood to be a good host right now.
Nino helps Ohno with his last sleeve. "Selfish. Let’s just go in together." He pauses, apparently having felt Ohno’s arm tense in his hold. "That’s okay, right?"
His voice was heavy with uncertainty about everything he was actually asking. Ohno shivers, not sure it’s just from the cold.
"Yeah." Ohno slicks back his hair, sniffling a little and trying to look casual. "Yeah, definitely."
It should be awkward - it is awkward, shedding layers of wet clothes silently together in Ohno’s tiny bathroom with only Nino’s shrill sneezes to break the silence - but once they’re both in, Ohno can’t bring himself to care about anything but the pleasant throb of hot water against his head and shoulders, running down his skin to chase away the deep chill in his bones.
Nino pushes him out from under the spray a little, stepping closer. "Shower hog," he mutters, tilting his head back under the spray. "Oh fuck, that feels good."
"You could have just waited your turn." Ohno tries to edge his way back under the spray.
"I didn’t want to wait." Nino slicks his hair out of his eyes. He shifts to give Ohno a little more room under the showerhead and Ohno moves in closer. "There’s no need to, if we can just do this."
Ohno nods his agreement. They’re barely centimetres apart now. He can practically feel the heat radiating from Nino’s skin, their toes almost colliding as they shift their feet. It’s all sparking more than a few danger signals in his mind, but he’s tired and sore and just beginning to warm up, and Nino’s the same, so it’s all right if they stay like this.
He realizes that Nino is watching him and he shakes himself out of his daze, smiles goofily. "What?"
Nino returns his smile, but it’s like he tries to catch it back, biting his lower lip. "Nothing."
It still kind of hurts how uncertain Nino acts around him. It never used to be like this and Ohno knows that it’s mostly his fault that things are this awkward. Now he acts like he’s waiting for permission, like touching Ohno, even casually, is a risk that he can’t afford.
Ohno knows that he put those barriers in place himself, but he isn’t sure how to bring them down. They never talk about it.
They really ought to talk about it.
Ohno reaches out, grabs Nino’s hand impulsively.
"Hey." Nino’s eyes stay blank, wary of showing too much. Ohno tries to smile gently, knowing that his mouth is trembling a little. "You don’t have to keep your distance so much, you know. It’s just me. It’s just us." Ohno rubs his thumb against the back of Nino’s hand. "I don’t mind."
Nino studies his face, eyes fixed on him, like he’s weighing his chances. Ohno holds his breath.
"That’s not a good idea." Nino squeezes Ohno’s hand, smiles tightly. He lets go, moving back a little farther, almost backed against the wall of the shower. The gap between them feels cold and void now, even with the hot spray sputtering down against Ohno’s chest. Nino grabs Ohno’s soap. "Let’s finish up quickly, okay? I’m starving."
"Why not?" Ohno feels startlingly brave all of a sudden. It’s not like he hasn’t wanted to talk about this before, but most of the time they were tired or with the other members or he just didn’t want to break the silence. But a naked Nino in his shower is a fairly captive audience and right now, Ohno’s desire for an answer, for some sort of change in the vague way that they’ve been circling around each other all these years is outweighing the fundamental awkwardness of it all.
"Don’t be stupid." Nino reaches for the tap, turns off the water. He gives Ohno a pointed, patient look and tosses him a towel. "Look, we’re not going to talk about this, okay?"
Ohno catches the towel, stung. It seems intensely unfair of Nino to just brush it off, like he wasn’t the one who started the whole damn thing, like he didn’t tip their casual little friendship upside down and shake it around a bit. "All right," he says finally, voice low.
Nino peeks out from underneath his towel, rubbing furiously at his wet hair. "Oh-chan," he sighs, letting his hands fall to his sides, towel hanging over his head like a ridiculous blanket. "I’m sorry, I didn’t - it’s just, it was my bad and I’m trying to just keep things normal. Like they’ve always been." He turns away from Ohno, tugging the towel off his head and wrapping it around his waist. "I don’t know what else you could want me to do."
"How do you know what I want?" Ohno steps out of the shower, crowding behind Nino on the small tiled floor. He sees Nino swallow visibly in his reflection, shoulders tense up under Ohno’s fingers skimming across his bare back. "I don’t even know what I want."
Nino laughs humourlessly. "No, you don’t."
Another charged silence falls between them.
Ohno draws his finger down the column of Nino’s spine. Nino shivers and Ohno can’t stop himself. He leans forward, pressing a light kiss to the soft skin of the nape of Nino’s neck, lingering.
He can feel Nino’s entire body trembling now. Nino’s hands are practically white where they’re gripping onto the sides of Ohno’s sink.
"Ohno," Nino breathes, as Ohno brushes his lips against Nino’s shoulders, wrapping his arms firmly around Nino’s waist. Ohno feels exhilarated, almost drunk and he can’t stop anymore. "Ohno, don't."
Ohno kisses the side of Nino’s neck. "I’m not going to run away this time," he whispers against Nino’s shoulder. "Don’t you want this?"
Nino’s eyes snap up to meet his in the mirror and there’s something so hungry, so fragile there that Ohno can barely stand to look. "The truth," he says, under his breath, so softly that Ohno almost doesn’t hear him at all. It’s a demand, not a question.
Ohno holds his gaze, reaching forward to tug Nino’s hand into his own, tangling their fingers together. "The truth is, I don’t know what I’m doing," he confesses. "And when you kissed me after Jun’s wedding - I mean, there was Yuzuki and you were drunk and depressed and I didn’t really." He pauses. "I was scared."
Nino gives a little snort. "All through the wedding, I saw you watching Jun and I couldn’t stop thinking that you might be next. I didn’t realize until then how much I hated that." His voice drops an octave. "I thought I'd screwed things up. I thought I went too far and lost you."
Turning around abruptly, he steps into Ohno and wraps him in a fierce hug. Ohno is caught off guard, but he automatically hugs back. Their noses bump together as he turns his head, then somehow his mouth is on Nino’s and they're kissing, hesitantly at first, tasting each other and breathing each other in. Ohno closes his eyes, feeling overwhelmed and exhilarated. It feels too real, too good to have Nino’s lips sliding against his.
Ohno brushes his lips against Nino’s temple as they break apart, breathing in his hair. "When you showed up last summer, after I broke up with Yuzuki, I kept waiting for you to make another move. When you never did, I thought I should just give up."
Nino chuckles, burying his face in the crook of Ohno’s neck, his fingers stroking the curve of Ohno’s lower back. "Considering that the first attempt ended with you running shoeless out of my apartment, I didn’t really want to try my luck again."
"I’m sorry," Ohno mumbles into his hair.
Nino pulls back a little, shaking his head. He keeps his arms around Ohno, his drying skin still warm against Ohno’s in the thick humidity of the small bathroom. "And now what?"
"We elope," Ohno tells him, entirely serious. "Sho can write our wedding vows. In rap."
Nino laughs, breaking some of the tension. "And Jun can be the maid of honour." He studies Ohno’s face, eyes solemn. "Seriously, are you okay with this?"
Ohno brushes Nino’s bangs out of his eyes, giving himself time to think about his answer. "I’m not sure," he admits. "And it’s not that I don’t want to be with you. It’s just that it’s -"
"Complicated," Nino finishes. "I get that." He leans his face into Ohno’s hand, kisses his palm. "I guess we’ll figure it out."
Ohno draws Nino closer, squishing their noses together. "Now kiss me again," he demands in a squeaky falsetto, because this really just getting too depressing.
"But I want to be seme’d today," Nino whines at him, grinning against Ohno’s mouth. He kisses Ohno, brief, sweet kisses that send heat churning through Ohno’s belly. He buries both hands in Nino’s still-damp hair, holding his head in place so he can slip his tongue past Nino’s lips.
Ohno’s stomach growls suddenly, loudly enough that Nino breaks off the kiss to laugh at him. "Dinner?" Nino asks, sounding hopeful.
Ohno grunts, hiding his face against Nino’s neck. "You feel like cooking?"
"Not at all." Ohno can feel Nino’s fingers stroke through his hair, unimaginably gentle. "You’re a terrible host, you know."
"Good. I already threw your futon in the ocean." Ohno presses a kiss to Nino’s pulse point.
"Guess that means I’m invading your bed." Nino tangles Ohno’s fingers in his, pressing their palms together and tilting his head back to give Ohno better access to his neck.
"I don’t mind," Ohno mumbles against Nino's skin, relief and joy unwinding and spinning in his stomach. "I don’t mind at all."
*
There’s a weight pressing down on Ohno’s chest when he wakes up the next morning and he blinks his eyes open slowly. Surprisingly, it’s not a furry, beady-eyed bundle demanding to be fed.
At least not the usual one.
Aiba rests his head on his folded arms, grinning down at Ohno. "Good morning, Leader. You slept forever."
Ohno coughs, tries to twist his head and check the bedside table. "’Time’s it?" He’s usually up shortly after the crack of dawn, but he and Nino were up until almost then. He starts a little, realizing that he’s still completely naked under the sheets.
"Just a little after eleven." Aiba wriggles to get more comfortable on top of him. "We just got here about an hour ago. Nino’s making cinnamon pancakes, and he told me to wake you up before Sho could be a giant pig and eat them all by himself."
There’s a click and Ohno squints his eyes open further to see Jun closing the door behind him quietly. "Aiba-chan, Nino needs you to help him cut some fruit."
Aiba settles himself on Ohno’s chest more firmly. "If you’re going to yell at Leader, then I want to stay."
"Yell at me?" Ohno yawns, rubbing at his eyes. "Why?"
"I am not." Jun sounds exasperated, and he settles down on the bed next to Aiba. His face is towering high above Ohno’s and he looks - worried? Ohno can’t tell, he still just wants to roll over and get back to sleep. It’s funny how he can sleep longer now and still be more tired. Maybe it’s just part of getting older.
"You and Nino made up, didn’t you, Captain?" Aiba crawls a little further up Ohno’s body, tapping triumphantly on the tip of Ohno’s nose with a finger. "You can tell, Nino’s glowing. It’s totally weird."
"Aiba," says Jun, sounding impatient. "Aiba."
"It’s not like we were fighting," Ohno says helplessly.
"Fine," says Aiba, ignoring Jun’s attempts to pry him off of Ohno. "Then you made out."
"You could call it that," Ohno doesn’t know when Nino opened the door, but he’s got a tight, smug smile on his face as he eyes the confusion around Ohno’s bed. "Masaki, are you going to get your ass in here or not? Someone needs to make a fruit salad and I can’t trust Sho after the bananas."
"You said lengthwise," calls a small, frustrated voice from the direction of the living room. " I swear."
"I also said to peel them first," Nino snaps and he pointedly holds the door open wider for Aiba.
Ohno doesn’t miss the surprised glance that Jun shoots after Nino, even between being nearly choked by Aiba’s less-than-graceful scramble off his chest and towards the door, calling after Nino and noisily demanding details.
He’s pretty sure that Jun knows what’s going on and he’s equally sure that he’s going to try and talk Ohno into seeing why it’s a really bad idea. The fact that Nino probably realizes this and isn’t trying to stop him reassures Ohno. With Nino, who tends towards possessive almost to the point of being jealous, it’s an unmistakable sign of trust.
Ohno realizes that Jun is still watching him silently, with a small frown.
"Are you mad?" Ohno asks. There are pancakes waiting, after all, so there’s no point in beating around the bush.
"No," Jun says. He pulls his legs up onto the bed, shifting closer to Ohno and running his fingers through Ohno’s hair gently. "I just don’t think you’ve really thought it through."
"Well, we haven’t, really, yet." Ohno shrugs. "It will work out."
"This isn’t anyone," Jun says gently, like Ohno doesn’t realize it. "Nino is Arashi too. And what happens between the two of you affects the group. It might not be fair, but that’s how it is."
Ohno nuzzles his head up against Jun’s hand. He can see Jun’s expression from below, even through half-closed eyes and Jun looks more small and scared than angry. "We’re not going to tear apart Arashi. Even if things don’t work out, we still love each other. That won’t change."
"I’m just saying, things are going to change. Whether it works or not, whether you two - go public - or whatever," Jun says the last with more than a little difficulty, "You need to be sure."
Ohno pulls himself into a sitting position slowly, leaning into the curve of Jun’s side, nudging under his arm until Jun slides it around his shoulders and they’re both leaning back against the headboard, sitting silently together. Ohno listens to the sounds of his house in the morning, noisier than usual: the faint mewing of kittens, the muted blare of the television, the clatter of pans and dishes in the kitchen, Aiba laughing at something, high and happy.
"Things never really go the way you plan sometimes, do they?" Jun says finally, breaking the silence. Ohno glances sideways at him, Jun’s eyes are a bit overbright with held-back tears. He leans closer against Jun’s side, nestling his head into the curve of Jun’s neck.
"I don’t know if you can be sure of anything," Ohno says thoughtfully, after a moment. He finds Jun’s hand, sliding their palms together until their fingers are warmly laced together. "You miss too much if you’re set in one direction. With Arashi - none of us knew what we were doing. It wasn’t expected, it wasn’t even always wanted, at first. And look at us now."
Jun laughs a little, voice watery and scratchy. "And some things start out perfect and then never work out." His voice is heavy with regret and Ohno squeezes his hand comfortingly. Jun is still hurting, will still hurt for a long time. Ohno can’t change that, he can only be there to help him bear it.
"Like I said," Ohno says softly, "You can’t be sure. All you can do is trust, and wait and see."
There’s a knock on the bedroom door. "Breakfast!" Nino’s voice calls.
Jun unfolds himself from the bed, rubbing at his eyes. "Oh god, please put some pants on," he begs when Ohno rolls himself out from under the sheets.
Ohno tugs on a pair of sweats obediently, but there’s a tantalizing smell of cinnamon sugar wafting through the room, so he forgoes a shirt in favour of racing Jun to the kitchen, where Sho and Aiba are already plowing through stacks of fluffy, golden-brown cakes.
"Your stupid cats are super noisy in the morning," Nino complains, setting a place down in front of Ohno as he slides into a chair across from Aiba. "I couldn’t find your can opener anywhere. My ankles were almost scratched to death."
He drops a kiss on Ohno’s cheek before straightening up and casually walking back to the stove. Ohno cuts into his pancake, ignoring the way Sho has stopped mid-chew and Aiba’s thumbs-up.
"I think," Aiba finally says a minute later, breaking a somewhat awkward silence. "That we should all sleep under the stars tonight!"
"It’s December," Nino says dismissively, sliding another batch of pancakes on Jun’s plate. "We’re right beside the ocean. We’d all freeze before morning."
"Think of it as an experiment," Aiba says lightly. "I bet if we get drunk enough, the alcohol will keep us warm."
Sho and Jun join the argument and Ohno tucks into his pancakes, humming happily to himself. His house was warm and alive with noise. He catches Nino glancing back over his shoulder at him and smiles. Nino’s returning smile is brighter than the sunlight filtering through the windows in wide, watery beams.
Somehow, Ohno knows, it will all be okay.
Somehow, he’s sure.
FIN
If you enjoyed this, be sure to check out in that certain time (Ohno/Nino, Arashi gen, PG) - five short vignettes from the same universe as Saudade.
Part One
Cross-posted to kotobayori
Rating: PG-13
Length: ~13,000 words
Pairing Ohno/Nino
Summary: Set six years into the future: Ohno hears about it first from Nino…
They almost miss the morning ferry because Nori had spotted a seagull pecking at something in the sand just behind the house and darted out of the patio door and down the beach while Ohno was cleaning out the litterboxes. It's close, but they do make it and Ohno finally lets himself relax while the boat pulls away from shore, the tiny island slowly fading from sight.
Jun looks more tense than he has in days, pacing the deck of the small boat in tight circles. He's making Ohno dizzy. It's no better once they're in the van, with their manager filling them in as they drive towards the studio. Jun stays quiet and Ohno finds it difficult to fill the gaps in conversation - that's not usually left to him.
Everyone else has already arrived; Ohno can already see the three of them sitting around a table in the briefing room as they walk down the hallway. Aiba is facing the open door and he jumps up when he notices them walking down the hallway and yells, "HERE THEY ARE!" loudly enough to make Sho jump in his seat and Jun twitch beside Ohno.
It takes things awhile to settle down once they get into the room, since everyone needs to be greeted and hugged. Jun looks like he's trying his best to act normal and cool, but Aiba's leaving him no space to feel awkward anyways. He takes Jun by one arm, shoving him into a chair and starts chattering about koala bears and beaches.
"It's good to see you," Sho says, hugging Ohno warmly. Ohno tucks his chin against Sho's shoulder, hanging on for just a minute longer than necessary. Sho has buzzed his hair a a little shorter than usual and his shoulders look and feel somehow broader - in his crisp white dress shirt and tie, he looks startlingly older, more determined.
Nino is standing just behind Sho, grinning. Ohno smiles at him. "Hey," he says softly.
"Sho-chan, you're hogging Captain." Nino pries Sho off Ohno and pulls Ohno into a fierce hug. "Oh-chan."
"Welcome home," Ohno breathes against Nino's shoulder. He runs his hands over Nino's back, closing his eyes. It shouldn't feel so good to hold Nino again, but Ohno shoves that voice into the back of his mind, enjoying the warm solidity of Nino against him. He pulls back, holding Nino at arm's length so he can get a good look at him. He looks tanned and tired, but he's smiling back at Ohno and that's what really counts.
"It's a didgeridoo!" Aiba has apparently gotten impatient with waiting to give out souvenirs and is currently brandishing a long, thick painted wooden tube into Jun's face. "This old village dude showed me how to play it, see -"
Aiba raises one end of the instrument to his mouth, taking a deep breath. He screws his eyes shut and puffs out his cheeks. The instrument booms out a low, loud droning noise, interrupted by strange, high-pitched gurgling noises.
He finishes and pulls the tube away from his mouth, red-faced and beaming, gasping for breath. "How was it?"
There's an awed silence.
"Good god," Sho says finally. "It's like listening to Nino gargle mouthwash in the morning."
Nino whacks Sho on the back of his head. "Say that again and you're getting the Vegemite."
"Look, look, I can show you how to use it, Matsujun!" Aiba hands over the tube to a wary-looking Jun. "Just grasp the shaft with both hands and bring it to your mouth."
"Masaki - " Sho says, sounding pained.
"Once you get the drone going, try tightening and loosening your lips and moving your tongue into -"
"Aiba-chan," Nino interrupts. "Why don't you give Jun his gift from me?"
"That's really not -" Jun starts, but blinks when Aiba digs in his bag and produces a small, coral green box. Ohno peers over Sho's shoulder while Jun opens the box and catches a glimpse of a pressed metal pendant in a stylized Hindu Om symbol on a black string. Jun traces the curves of the pendant, looking surprised.
"Thank you," Jun says finally, smiling sincerely up at Nino. "It's perfect. I love it."
"That," Nino says with dignity. "Is because some of us have taste."
"I want to wear it on-air." Jun unties the cord carefully, looping it around his neck. Sho steps behind him, catching the ends and carefully knotting them at the back of his neck.
"You doing okay?" Ohno hears Sho mutter to Jun, voice low and concerned. Jun's expression darkens a little, exasperated, but he just mutters something under his breath that Ohno doesn't catch.
A staff member pokes her head in the door. "Arashi-san, five minutes!" she chirps.
"This is going to be so great," Aiba declares, thumping his hands against the table rhythmically. "We're going to have such an awesome New Year's, you guys! We can stay up all night and get drunk and talk and talk and - "
"Aiba -chan..." Ohno warns belatedly.
"What do you mean, we?" Jun asks dangerously.
*
Jun is not easily coaxed out of his mood, and the interviewer looks more than a little uneasy by the time the hour is up. Jun doesn’t snap or snarl, but there’s an almost palpable rolling boil of anger just beneath the surface and his answers are curt and edged, with little hint of his usual warm charm.
Sho drags Aiba off to help him grab coffee for everyone afterwards and they leave Jun to Ohno and Nino the break room. Jun has already grabbed his jacket and taken over a corner of the biggest, squishiest couch in the room, earbuds jammed into his ears and hat almost pulled over his eyes.
Ohno shifts on his feet, feeling a little useless. Luckily for him, Nino’s in the mood to take charge.
Jun’s expression turns a little dangerous when Nino invades his personal space and slides into his lap, but he doesn’t shove him off, not even when Nino hooks his hands into the front pockets of Jun’s jacket and makes a big show of settling down comfortably, straddling Jun’s legs.
"If you’re finished pouting -" Nino peels one earbud out of Jun’s ear, "Aiba-chan thought Satoshi had already told you. It’s not like we were plotting against you."
"I thought we could surprise him," Ohno puts in, rather lamely.
"It’s okay." Nino swings Jun’s earbud in a slow circle by its cord. He keeps looking at Jun. "What the hell is wrong with spending New Year’s with all of us, anyways? I thought you’d like it. It’s better than hanging out with grandpa, there." He jabs a thumb over his shoulder back at Ohno. "He’d just make you instant ramen and fall asleep before ten."
Ohno knows Nino and he knows that’s his cue to come in. He slides down beside Jun on the couch just in time to see the corners of Jun’s mouth poking up in a little smile. "I wouldn’t. We’d get pissed drunk and run naked down the beach."
"You’ve read Aiba’s plan then, have you?" Nino asks. He swings Jun’s earbud at Ohno’s face, just missing his nose by an inch.
"Idiot," Jun catches Nino’s wrist and grabs his earbuds back. "You’re going to break them."
"I’m sorry I didn’t tell you," Ohno says suddenly, because it finally occurs to him what Jun might want to hear. "I would have told you - I just didn’t want you to say no."
Jun grunts, shifting under Nino’s weight. "I wouldn’t have said no, I just -" He looks away from Ohno, towards the wall. "I hate this. I hate everyone treating me like I’m so fucking delicate. It just feels like everyone’s talking about me." The rims of his eyes look kind of wet, and he won’t look directly at either of them. "I wanted to get away from that."
"Everyone’s just worried." Ohno speaks at the same instant Nino does and he doesn't quite catch what Nino said, he only hears "princess". That alone pretty much explains why two minutes later, as Aiba and Sho are walking in the door, Nino is still lying on the floor complaining loudly about how sore his ass is.
"Do you really think he’s okay?" Sho asks Ohno urgently a few minutes later.
Ohno looks over to where Jun is laughing at Aiba’s attempts to play A.RA.SHI on his didigeridoo (or maybe at Nino’s attempts to make Aiba eke out some high notes by kicking him in the delicate bits during the chorus). "Yeah, I think so."
"I know he just wants to forget about it." Sho takes a sip of his coffee. "And I know that he can take care of himself, but he shouldn’t have to be alone, you know? He has us."
Ohno shrugged, leaning in comfortably against Sho’s side. "I think he needs us to be normal for him."
Sho throws him a dubious look while Aiba chases Nino past them, thwacking him in the head with the long, wooden tube and clutching at his crotch with his free hand. "Isn’t that a little too much to ask?"
"I think it’s about being constant." Ohno isn’t really sure where’s he going with this, but it makes some sort of sense in his head. "Because we’ve all been together forever and we haven’t changed. Not to each other. I think he might - you know, need that. If we don’t change, then at least he has us."
Sho seems to consider that for a moment. "Huh." He takes a sip of coffee. "That sounds kind of pathetic, you know."
"Leader," Jun calls from the couch, "We’d better hurry if we’re going to pick up groceries before we all catch the ferry." He says it casually, but his smile is a bit nervous and overly bright around the edges.
Aiba tosses his coffee cup towards the garbage like a basketball player shooting from the three-point line. "Sho-chan has to stay in town until tonight, so we’re both going to come over together tomorrow," he announces, moving to scoop the cup off the floor after he misses by a good two feet. "We can pick up groceries, so you don’t have to worry about them now."
"Why are you going to stay?" Nino asks, eyebrows drawing together in confusion. "You didn’t say anything about -"
"That’s not a bad idea," Sho interjects, "Matusjun, why don’t you stay in, too? You need to get some more clothes from your place, right? You guys can meet me after I finish taping and the three of us can go together."
"Um," Jun says, and Ohno isn’t stupid, he can see Aiba poking Jun urgently in the side. "Yeah, okay."
"We could all stay - " Ohno starts to offer, but Sho waves a hand at him dismissingly.
"You may as well head back, Captain. Don’t worry about groceries and stuff, we’ll take care of it. You and Nino can get the house ready."
"You didn’t leave enough food out for the cats to leave them alone all night," Jun points out.
"Should we go, then?" Nino says. He’s still looking at Sho. His expression is a little bit odd, but he flashes Ohno a bright smile a second later. "I’m starting to think they just don’t want to put up with me barfing all the way to Toshimajima."
*
There’s a storm coming up as the ferry sets off. The waves are high and choppy, breaking grey against the side of the boat and spraying cold mist. Nino doesn’t barf, but it’s a close thing.
They take refuge inside once the rain starts and Nino squishes onto the same chair as Ohno, his windbreaker pulled up around his ears and his face miserable. Ohno rubs Nino’s back soothingly in small circles, listening to the patter of the rain against the windows and the soft, laughing chatter of the other passengers.
They get soaked between the docks and Ohno’s house, since there’s practically no cover on the main paths and neither of them have an umbrella. Ohno can feel his teeth chattering as they drag Nino’s bags up his front steps and he fumbles for the keys.
His kittens appear the minute Ohno pushes the door open, mewling and curling around their legs.
"You didn’t change it," Nino says, and it takes Ohno a second to realize that he means the door. Nino bends down to rub his finger behind Shizuka’s ears while trying not to puddle too badly on Ohno’s entranceway. "Hiya, Shizu-chan."
Ohno shrugs. "I like it," he says honestly. And he does. The bright yellow doorway is easily visible against the muted pebble blue. It’s warm and cheerful and welcoming.
Nino straightens up, considering Ohno. He smiles and tugs on one of the wet strands of hair falling into Ohno’s eyes. "Shower?"
"I claim first," Ohno mumbles, peeling off his wet jacket. He’s freezing and shaking and in no mood to be a good host right now.
Nino helps Ohno with his last sleeve. "Selfish. Let’s just go in together." He pauses, apparently having felt Ohno’s arm tense in his hold. "That’s okay, right?"
His voice was heavy with uncertainty about everything he was actually asking. Ohno shivers, not sure it’s just from the cold.
"Yeah." Ohno slicks back his hair, sniffling a little and trying to look casual. "Yeah, definitely."
It should be awkward - it is awkward, shedding layers of wet clothes silently together in Ohno’s tiny bathroom with only Nino’s shrill sneezes to break the silence - but once they’re both in, Ohno can’t bring himself to care about anything but the pleasant throb of hot water against his head and shoulders, running down his skin to chase away the deep chill in his bones.
Nino pushes him out from under the spray a little, stepping closer. "Shower hog," he mutters, tilting his head back under the spray. "Oh fuck, that feels good."
"You could have just waited your turn." Ohno tries to edge his way back under the spray.
"I didn’t want to wait." Nino slicks his hair out of his eyes. He shifts to give Ohno a little more room under the showerhead and Ohno moves in closer. "There’s no need to, if we can just do this."
Ohno nods his agreement. They’re barely centimetres apart now. He can practically feel the heat radiating from Nino’s skin, their toes almost colliding as they shift their feet. It’s all sparking more than a few danger signals in his mind, but he’s tired and sore and just beginning to warm up, and Nino’s the same, so it’s all right if they stay like this.
He realizes that Nino is watching him and he shakes himself out of his daze, smiles goofily. "What?"
Nino returns his smile, but it’s like he tries to catch it back, biting his lower lip. "Nothing."
It still kind of hurts how uncertain Nino acts around him. It never used to be like this and Ohno knows that it’s mostly his fault that things are this awkward. Now he acts like he’s waiting for permission, like touching Ohno, even casually, is a risk that he can’t afford.
Ohno knows that he put those barriers in place himself, but he isn’t sure how to bring them down. They never talk about it.
They really ought to talk about it.
Ohno reaches out, grabs Nino’s hand impulsively.
"Hey." Nino’s eyes stay blank, wary of showing too much. Ohno tries to smile gently, knowing that his mouth is trembling a little. "You don’t have to keep your distance so much, you know. It’s just me. It’s just us." Ohno rubs his thumb against the back of Nino’s hand. "I don’t mind."
Nino studies his face, eyes fixed on him, like he’s weighing his chances. Ohno holds his breath.
"That’s not a good idea." Nino squeezes Ohno’s hand, smiles tightly. He lets go, moving back a little farther, almost backed against the wall of the shower. The gap between them feels cold and void now, even with the hot spray sputtering down against Ohno’s chest. Nino grabs Ohno’s soap. "Let’s finish up quickly, okay? I’m starving."
"Why not?" Ohno feels startlingly brave all of a sudden. It’s not like he hasn’t wanted to talk about this before, but most of the time they were tired or with the other members or he just didn’t want to break the silence. But a naked Nino in his shower is a fairly captive audience and right now, Ohno’s desire for an answer, for some sort of change in the vague way that they’ve been circling around each other all these years is outweighing the fundamental awkwardness of it all.
"Don’t be stupid." Nino reaches for the tap, turns off the water. He gives Ohno a pointed, patient look and tosses him a towel. "Look, we’re not going to talk about this, okay?"
Ohno catches the towel, stung. It seems intensely unfair of Nino to just brush it off, like he wasn’t the one who started the whole damn thing, like he didn’t tip their casual little friendship upside down and shake it around a bit. "All right," he says finally, voice low.
Nino peeks out from underneath his towel, rubbing furiously at his wet hair. "Oh-chan," he sighs, letting his hands fall to his sides, towel hanging over his head like a ridiculous blanket. "I’m sorry, I didn’t - it’s just, it was my bad and I’m trying to just keep things normal. Like they’ve always been." He turns away from Ohno, tugging the towel off his head and wrapping it around his waist. "I don’t know what else you could want me to do."
"How do you know what I want?" Ohno steps out of the shower, crowding behind Nino on the small tiled floor. He sees Nino swallow visibly in his reflection, shoulders tense up under Ohno’s fingers skimming across his bare back. "I don’t even know what I want."
Nino laughs humourlessly. "No, you don’t."
Another charged silence falls between them.
Ohno draws his finger down the column of Nino’s spine. Nino shivers and Ohno can’t stop himself. He leans forward, pressing a light kiss to the soft skin of the nape of Nino’s neck, lingering.
He can feel Nino’s entire body trembling now. Nino’s hands are practically white where they’re gripping onto the sides of Ohno’s sink.
"Ohno," Nino breathes, as Ohno brushes his lips against Nino’s shoulders, wrapping his arms firmly around Nino’s waist. Ohno feels exhilarated, almost drunk and he can’t stop anymore. "Ohno, don't."
Ohno kisses the side of Nino’s neck. "I’m not going to run away this time," he whispers against Nino’s shoulder. "Don’t you want this?"
Nino’s eyes snap up to meet his in the mirror and there’s something so hungry, so fragile there that Ohno can barely stand to look. "The truth," he says, under his breath, so softly that Ohno almost doesn’t hear him at all. It’s a demand, not a question.
Ohno holds his gaze, reaching forward to tug Nino’s hand into his own, tangling their fingers together. "The truth is, I don’t know what I’m doing," he confesses. "And when you kissed me after Jun’s wedding - I mean, there was Yuzuki and you were drunk and depressed and I didn’t really." He pauses. "I was scared."
Nino gives a little snort. "All through the wedding, I saw you watching Jun and I couldn’t stop thinking that you might be next. I didn’t realize until then how much I hated that." His voice drops an octave. "I thought I'd screwed things up. I thought I went too far and lost you."
Turning around abruptly, he steps into Ohno and wraps him in a fierce hug. Ohno is caught off guard, but he automatically hugs back. Their noses bump together as he turns his head, then somehow his mouth is on Nino’s and they're kissing, hesitantly at first, tasting each other and breathing each other in. Ohno closes his eyes, feeling overwhelmed and exhilarated. It feels too real, too good to have Nino’s lips sliding against his.
Ohno brushes his lips against Nino’s temple as they break apart, breathing in his hair. "When you showed up last summer, after I broke up with Yuzuki, I kept waiting for you to make another move. When you never did, I thought I should just give up."
Nino chuckles, burying his face in the crook of Ohno’s neck, his fingers stroking the curve of Ohno’s lower back. "Considering that the first attempt ended with you running shoeless out of my apartment, I didn’t really want to try my luck again."
"I’m sorry," Ohno mumbles into his hair.
Nino pulls back a little, shaking his head. He keeps his arms around Ohno, his drying skin still warm against Ohno’s in the thick humidity of the small bathroom. "And now what?"
"We elope," Ohno tells him, entirely serious. "Sho can write our wedding vows. In rap."
Nino laughs, breaking some of the tension. "And Jun can be the maid of honour." He studies Ohno’s face, eyes solemn. "Seriously, are you okay with this?"
Ohno brushes Nino’s bangs out of his eyes, giving himself time to think about his answer. "I’m not sure," he admits. "And it’s not that I don’t want to be with you. It’s just that it’s -"
"Complicated," Nino finishes. "I get that." He leans his face into Ohno’s hand, kisses his palm. "I guess we’ll figure it out."
Ohno draws Nino closer, squishing their noses together. "Now kiss me again," he demands in a squeaky falsetto, because this really just getting too depressing.
"But I want to be seme’d today," Nino whines at him, grinning against Ohno’s mouth. He kisses Ohno, brief, sweet kisses that send heat churning through Ohno’s belly. He buries both hands in Nino’s still-damp hair, holding his head in place so he can slip his tongue past Nino’s lips.
Ohno’s stomach growls suddenly, loudly enough that Nino breaks off the kiss to laugh at him. "Dinner?" Nino asks, sounding hopeful.
Ohno grunts, hiding his face against Nino’s neck. "You feel like cooking?"
"Not at all." Ohno can feel Nino’s fingers stroke through his hair, unimaginably gentle. "You’re a terrible host, you know."
"Good. I already threw your futon in the ocean." Ohno presses a kiss to Nino’s pulse point.
"Guess that means I’m invading your bed." Nino tangles Ohno’s fingers in his, pressing their palms together and tilting his head back to give Ohno better access to his neck.
"I don’t mind," Ohno mumbles against Nino's skin, relief and joy unwinding and spinning in his stomach. "I don’t mind at all."
*
There’s a weight pressing down on Ohno’s chest when he wakes up the next morning and he blinks his eyes open slowly. Surprisingly, it’s not a furry, beady-eyed bundle demanding to be fed.
At least not the usual one.
Aiba rests his head on his folded arms, grinning down at Ohno. "Good morning, Leader. You slept forever."
Ohno coughs, tries to twist his head and check the bedside table. "’Time’s it?" He’s usually up shortly after the crack of dawn, but he and Nino were up until almost then. He starts a little, realizing that he’s still completely naked under the sheets.
"Just a little after eleven." Aiba wriggles to get more comfortable on top of him. "We just got here about an hour ago. Nino’s making cinnamon pancakes, and he told me to wake you up before Sho could be a giant pig and eat them all by himself."
There’s a click and Ohno squints his eyes open further to see Jun closing the door behind him quietly. "Aiba-chan, Nino needs you to help him cut some fruit."
Aiba settles himself on Ohno’s chest more firmly. "If you’re going to yell at Leader, then I want to stay."
"Yell at me?" Ohno yawns, rubbing at his eyes. "Why?"
"I am not." Jun sounds exasperated, and he settles down on the bed next to Aiba. His face is towering high above Ohno’s and he looks - worried? Ohno can’t tell, he still just wants to roll over and get back to sleep. It’s funny how he can sleep longer now and still be more tired. Maybe it’s just part of getting older.
"You and Nino made up, didn’t you, Captain?" Aiba crawls a little further up Ohno’s body, tapping triumphantly on the tip of Ohno’s nose with a finger. "You can tell, Nino’s glowing. It’s totally weird."
"Aiba," says Jun, sounding impatient. "Aiba."
"It’s not like we were fighting," Ohno says helplessly.
"Fine," says Aiba, ignoring Jun’s attempts to pry him off of Ohno. "Then you made out."
"You could call it that," Ohno doesn’t know when Nino opened the door, but he’s got a tight, smug smile on his face as he eyes the confusion around Ohno’s bed. "Masaki, are you going to get your ass in here or not? Someone needs to make a fruit salad and I can’t trust Sho after the bananas."
"You said lengthwise," calls a small, frustrated voice from the direction of the living room. " I swear."
"I also said to peel them first," Nino snaps and he pointedly holds the door open wider for Aiba.
Ohno doesn’t miss the surprised glance that Jun shoots after Nino, even between being nearly choked by Aiba’s less-than-graceful scramble off his chest and towards the door, calling after Nino and noisily demanding details.
He’s pretty sure that Jun knows what’s going on and he’s equally sure that he’s going to try and talk Ohno into seeing why it’s a really bad idea. The fact that Nino probably realizes this and isn’t trying to stop him reassures Ohno. With Nino, who tends towards possessive almost to the point of being jealous, it’s an unmistakable sign of trust.
Ohno realizes that Jun is still watching him silently, with a small frown.
"Are you mad?" Ohno asks. There are pancakes waiting, after all, so there’s no point in beating around the bush.
"No," Jun says. He pulls his legs up onto the bed, shifting closer to Ohno and running his fingers through Ohno’s hair gently. "I just don’t think you’ve really thought it through."
"Well, we haven’t, really, yet." Ohno shrugs. "It will work out."
"This isn’t anyone," Jun says gently, like Ohno doesn’t realize it. "Nino is Arashi too. And what happens between the two of you affects the group. It might not be fair, but that’s how it is."
Ohno nuzzles his head up against Jun’s hand. He can see Jun’s expression from below, even through half-closed eyes and Jun looks more small and scared than angry. "We’re not going to tear apart Arashi. Even if things don’t work out, we still love each other. That won’t change."
"I’m just saying, things are going to change. Whether it works or not, whether you two - go public - or whatever," Jun says the last with more than a little difficulty, "You need to be sure."
Ohno pulls himself into a sitting position slowly, leaning into the curve of Jun’s side, nudging under his arm until Jun slides it around his shoulders and they’re both leaning back against the headboard, sitting silently together. Ohno listens to the sounds of his house in the morning, noisier than usual: the faint mewing of kittens, the muted blare of the television, the clatter of pans and dishes in the kitchen, Aiba laughing at something, high and happy.
"Things never really go the way you plan sometimes, do they?" Jun says finally, breaking the silence. Ohno glances sideways at him, Jun’s eyes are a bit overbright with held-back tears. He leans closer against Jun’s side, nestling his head into the curve of Jun’s neck.
"I don’t know if you can be sure of anything," Ohno says thoughtfully, after a moment. He finds Jun’s hand, sliding their palms together until their fingers are warmly laced together. "You miss too much if you’re set in one direction. With Arashi - none of us knew what we were doing. It wasn’t expected, it wasn’t even always wanted, at first. And look at us now."
Jun laughs a little, voice watery and scratchy. "And some things start out perfect and then never work out." His voice is heavy with regret and Ohno squeezes his hand comfortingly. Jun is still hurting, will still hurt for a long time. Ohno can’t change that, he can only be there to help him bear it.
"Like I said," Ohno says softly, "You can’t be sure. All you can do is trust, and wait and see."
There’s a knock on the bedroom door. "Breakfast!" Nino’s voice calls.
Jun unfolds himself from the bed, rubbing at his eyes. "Oh god, please put some pants on," he begs when Ohno rolls himself out from under the sheets.
Ohno tugs on a pair of sweats obediently, but there’s a tantalizing smell of cinnamon sugar wafting through the room, so he forgoes a shirt in favour of racing Jun to the kitchen, where Sho and Aiba are already plowing through stacks of fluffy, golden-brown cakes.
"Your stupid cats are super noisy in the morning," Nino complains, setting a place down in front of Ohno as he slides into a chair across from Aiba. "I couldn’t find your can opener anywhere. My ankles were almost scratched to death."
He drops a kiss on Ohno’s cheek before straightening up and casually walking back to the stove. Ohno cuts into his pancake, ignoring the way Sho has stopped mid-chew and Aiba’s thumbs-up.
"I think," Aiba finally says a minute later, breaking a somewhat awkward silence. "That we should all sleep under the stars tonight!"
"It’s December," Nino says dismissively, sliding another batch of pancakes on Jun’s plate. "We’re right beside the ocean. We’d all freeze before morning."
"Think of it as an experiment," Aiba says lightly. "I bet if we get drunk enough, the alcohol will keep us warm."
Sho and Jun join the argument and Ohno tucks into his pancakes, humming happily to himself. His house was warm and alive with noise. He catches Nino glancing back over his shoulder at him and smiles. Nino’s returning smile is brighter than the sunlight filtering through the windows in wide, watery beams.
Somehow, Ohno knows, it will all be okay.
Somehow, he’s sure.
FIN
If you enjoyed this, be sure to check out in that certain time (Ohno/Nino, Arashi gen, PG) - five short vignettes from the same universe as Saudade.
Part One
Cross-posted to kotobayori