i usually know when i'm being irrational. unpredictability is altogether separate. my emotions might be unpredictable, but they are predominantly legitimate. i recognize irrationality when i see it and attempt to curb it if i'm displaying it. what i find more difficult is articulating legitimate feelings so that they are palpable and lucid to those ( Read more... )

some transitions take forever, especially when undergoing multiple at once. i'm having fun but the situation is persistently precarious. a new haircut and a new therapist puts a different spin on things. i met gordo's parents and aunt and cousin, oh what a nice family! trying to focus on the good and not get overwhelmed. craving vegetables.

so immediately i find myself contradicted ( Read more... )

hot 'n' spicy veggies
cold banana shakes:
a life defined by food
and insatiable hunger.

long table laden with feast,
all arms with fixed elbows...
my face is in the plate.
and i'm missing the point.

no one's perfect forever
and many things are fleeting
but try not to sweat the small stuff,
kid, don't sweat the small stuff.

"i want to spend every day with you once you get back.
i've missed you so much... i need to soak you up again."

returning soon to san francisco,
where i am indescribably in love.

i survived!
but must still withstand more and more hours of cleaning.
and put oil in my car...
so i can drive HOME.

+ nick living in s.f ( Read more... )

evolution > stasis

SO ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sometimes if you take something out of its usual context, it stops making sense. i was nervous for gordo's visit to camp, afraid that introducing him to and immersing him in a totally different aspect of my existence would cause us to make less sense to each other. as it turned out, my fears were were unwarranted-- he fit with me here just was well ( Read more... )