the descent (collection of recent rambles)
Busy weekend, yup. So I basically breathed my piano piece 24/7 until the actual recital on Saturday, which I bombed. Haha! Then there was the mixer, which was really awesome. The DJ was kickass--loved the remixes, though it wouldn't have hurt to play some of the originals; for example, I got really excited when I heard the beat for "Hypnotize" come on, but then was like wtf when another song was mixed on top of it. Biggie LIVES, man. Anyways, the live bands were okay, it would have been better if they did covers of dance songs instead of trying to play their own music, which.. now that I've typed it sounds really stupid because I mean, if you're playing at a school venue for free (I assume?), of course you're going to want to plug yourself and your own music? But whatever, I'm selfish and I want music I know. Sunday was the yearbook photoshoot, fun stuff. I was so freaking /orange/ haha. Then dinner @ Todai for my uncle's birthday followed by so much homework. Shit!
AP Stats quarter project (7% quarter grade)
finish Stats weekend hw
finish last last week's MM portion of hw
read chapter 1 of L'Enfant Noir, which I can't even find
finish 40min Grand Concours french packet hw
Crap! Crap crap crap! Quarter ends this friday! Oh wait, that means fourth quarter seniors. YES!!! QUARTER ENDS THIS FRIDAY!!!
Hmm, yeah, so, uh, graduation! After listening to like 6 different people rant to me about how badly rooming for San Diego was going for them, I AM SO GLAD that rooming went extra smooth and easy for me. Thank you, Karen. :) Now I can save all my stress on more important matters. Like Sadies. And boys. Boys with girlfriends. Grr, haha, GRRRRR. I should honestly give up and forget this ever happened, this feeling is completely futile.
So anyways, trying to get back on topic, uh, graduation. I don't think it really hit me until I went to piano class last night. Like I said before, I just had my very terrible recital on Saturday, so when I came to class, I was expecting to be scolded or something. But my teacher was really kind and kinda smirked at me saying, "You were a very daring young lady last Saturday. Few people would have been able to get up there and not know their piece that well. But you did a great job, I thought it was interesting when you were getting lost in the piece, you would find yourself again a few measures later." ... Damn straight! I am pretty awesome for memorizing 6 pages of music in 3 days. Anyways, so she encouraged me to keep practicing Arabesque no. 1 (Debussy) even though I had the recital, and in the meantime she would introduce me to a new piece, Liebestraum (Liszt). So she starts playing for me, making comments as she goes along, and then... I started to cry a little. Like, I wasn't bawling or anything, but the more she played, the tighter my chest felt and the wetter my eyes got. Liebestraum is a really "pretty" piece, sort of like Deux Arabesques is; it flows really easily, and it has this melancholic feel that isn't quite melancholy but... it kind of sounds like longing, a dream,... or something. Anyways, there's a very subtle sadness about Liebestraum, and halfway through the piece, I realized that this piece is going to be the very last piece I ever learn from my teacher. Damn. I've had this woman for 14 years, and if you think about it, that's before I even knew how to read real words. Damn. As much as I've complained and as much anxiety as she's caused me, I'm going to miss her and piano class so much. I hope whatever college I go to has a piano somewhere in the dorms... I would die if I couldn't play piano anymore, along with doing other things. There's going to be so much I'm going to miss (and not miss) about my teenagerdom. I don't think I've ever fully gotten over how much I miss my middle school days... since then, I've done and have not done so many things that I regret. It's going to be interesting to see which people I still care about 4 years from now, the people who will bother to stay in contact with me, the people who truly left an impact on me. Even now, I've been feeling some people drift away from me, and you know what? If they don't care, I can't even bring myself to care. Just give it some time; like hurt, like hate, affection can fade as well. This little ramble very quickly descended to pessimistic, philosophical existentialist shit. This must be how Karen feels like :) (haha, JUST KIDDING I <3 you) Yeah, I think the real thing I miss about middle school was the real love between us. I'm not sure if I made the same connections here (it's something you'd have to tell me for it to work? It takes two to tango love), but I hope I at least made an impact on you.
School is so interesting lately, I feel like I'm learning so much. Finished Hadayet's "The Blind Owl" today; we had some interesting theories going on in the classroom. It was funny when Dr. Douglas asked all of us, "What is love?" and Amit replied all Amit-like, "Well, you see, love is when your heart beats faster AND slower at the same time. ... *cough* yeah, I got that from The Hot Chick so that quote might not be all that profound..." We're also watching this fascinating movie in yearbook right now called "Shattered Glass", which is basically a real life story of a chronic liar who worked in the highest ranking US journalism magazine. The climax of his lies happens when he fabricates a story about a computer company, hacker, government agencies and policies that don't even exist; his lies start to snowball as people try to unravel them. And if that isn't enough, Hayden Christensen plays the protagonist and Hank Azaria plays the editor, if anyone was interested.
Yayyy! My mom finally bought tickets for my trip to AZIA today! I'll be with Jason for 3 consecutive days, I think, and then I'll be with Ayumi for a few half days, and then 2 days overnight :D I'm so excited, EEE!!! :DDDD I'm so looking forward to going clubbing, haha! DaAAaAAaaAAaAaANNCEEE
PS. I really don't think my brother wants to go see the Yeah Yeah Yeahs with me next April (he holds a huge grudge against their newest album). If any of you are serious about paying $50 for a ticket and want to come see them with me in San Fran, let me know.
AP Stats quarter project (7% quarter grade)
finish Stats weekend hw
finish last last week's MM portion of hw
read chapter 1 of L'Enfant Noir, which I can't even find
finish 40min Grand Concours french packet hw
Crap! Crap crap crap! Quarter ends this friday! Oh wait, that means fourth quarter seniors. YES!!! QUARTER ENDS THIS FRIDAY!!!
Hmm, yeah, so, uh, graduation! After listening to like 6 different people rant to me about how badly rooming for San Diego was going for them, I AM SO GLAD that rooming went extra smooth and easy for me. Thank you, Karen. :) Now I can save all my stress on more important matters. Like Sadies. And boys. Boys with girlfriends. Grr, haha, GRRRRR. I should honestly give up and forget this ever happened, this feeling is completely futile.
So anyways, trying to get back on topic, uh, graduation. I don't think it really hit me until I went to piano class last night. Like I said before, I just had my very terrible recital on Saturday, so when I came to class, I was expecting to be scolded or something. But my teacher was really kind and kinda smirked at me saying, "You were a very daring young lady last Saturday. Few people would have been able to get up there and not know their piece that well. But you did a great job, I thought it was interesting when you were getting lost in the piece, you would find yourself again a few measures later." ... Damn straight! I am pretty awesome for memorizing 6 pages of music in 3 days. Anyways, so she encouraged me to keep practicing Arabesque no. 1 (Debussy) even though I had the recital, and in the meantime she would introduce me to a new piece, Liebestraum (Liszt). So she starts playing for me, making comments as she goes along, and then... I started to cry a little. Like, I wasn't bawling or anything, but the more she played, the tighter my chest felt and the wetter my eyes got. Liebestraum is a really "pretty" piece, sort of like Deux Arabesques is; it flows really easily, and it has this melancholic feel that isn't quite melancholy but... it kind of sounds like longing, a dream,... or something. Anyways, there's a very subtle sadness about Liebestraum, and halfway through the piece, I realized that this piece is going to be the very last piece I ever learn from my teacher. Damn. I've had this woman for 14 years, and if you think about it, that's before I even knew how to read real words. Damn. As much as I've complained and as much anxiety as she's caused me, I'm going to miss her and piano class so much. I hope whatever college I go to has a piano somewhere in the dorms... I would die if I couldn't play piano anymore, along with doing other things. There's going to be so much I'm going to miss (and not miss) about my teenagerdom. I don't think I've ever fully gotten over how much I miss my middle school days... since then, I've done and have not done so many things that I regret. It's going to be interesting to see which people I still care about 4 years from now, the people who will bother to stay in contact with me, the people who truly left an impact on me. Even now, I've been feeling some people drift away from me, and you know what? If they don't care, I can't even bring myself to care. Just give it some time; like hurt, like hate, affection can fade as well. This little ramble very quickly descended to pessimistic, philosophical existentialist shit. This must be how Karen feels like :) (haha, JUST KIDDING I <3 you) Yeah, I think the real thing I miss about middle school was the real love between us. I'm not sure if I made the same connections here (it's something you'd have to tell me for it to work? It takes two to tango love), but I hope I at least made an impact on you.
School is so interesting lately, I feel like I'm learning so much. Finished Hadayet's "The Blind Owl" today; we had some interesting theories going on in the classroom. It was funny when Dr. Douglas asked all of us, "What is love?" and Amit replied all Amit-like, "Well, you see, love is when your heart beats faster AND slower at the same time. ... *cough* yeah, I got that from The Hot Chick so that quote might not be all that profound..." We're also watching this fascinating movie in yearbook right now called "Shattered Glass", which is basically a real life story of a chronic liar who worked in the highest ranking US journalism magazine. The climax of his lies happens when he fabricates a story about a computer company, hacker, government agencies and policies that don't even exist; his lies start to snowball as people try to unravel them. And if that isn't enough, Hayden Christensen plays the protagonist and Hank Azaria plays the editor, if anyone was interested.
Yayyy! My mom finally bought tickets for my trip to AZIA today! I'll be with Jason for 3 consecutive days, I think, and then I'll be with Ayumi for a few half days, and then 2 days overnight :D I'm so excited, EEE!!! :DDDD I'm so looking forward to going clubbing, haha! DaAAaAAaaAAaAaANNCEEE
PS. I really don't think my brother wants to go see the Yeah Yeah Yeahs with me next April (he holds a huge grudge against their newest album). If any of you are serious about paying $50 for a ticket and want to come see them with me in San Fran, let me know.