Come...share in my mirth.
Honestly, these people can't be serious. Can they?
Welcome to Millionarematch.com, where everyone is who they say they are, and no background checks nor income verification is required.
Are you ready to meet our bachelors? Keep in mind that all men that fall into the "Millionare" catagory make over $100,000 a year. (Not my definition...take it up with the site) Let's start with Milionare #1:
He lives in Florida, as is evidenced by his swell Miami Vice suit. He's 23...wait. Let me check that. Yep. His profile says he's 23. Okay, then from now on, so am I!
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Moving on...
Millionare #2 obviously works at some sort of car dealership and thinks that classy means posing in the showroom and having your buddy snap your picture while the boss is out at lunch. Let's just let him speak for himself.
"LOOKING TO MEET AN ATTRACTIVE AND LOVING WOMEN. THAT LOVE'S TO BE SPOILED.I LOVE TO SURPRISE HER WITH GIFT'S,AND LIKE A VERY GOOD TIME. DINNER DANCING DRINK'S. AND JUST ENJOYING EACH OTHER. LET'S TALK AND MEET SOON." [sic]
Wow. I think I shall fall over dead if he does not write to me. Soon. *swoon*
******************
It's time for a short break for the "Honest, yet still a gold digger" entry into our program.
He's a 32 year old musician who lives here in Southern California. His parents died when he was young so he's had to fend for himself lo these many years. [I shit you not. He wrote about it in his DATING profile.] But wait... here's the meat and potatoes...
"Money isn't everything and it never will be... but the following would be a bonus. >>>What's wrong with finding the right person who also happens to have the means? I've never been a gold-digger by any stretch of the imagination, but find myself in a position where some financial backing would enable me to travel and play throughout Asia and Europe boosting my career and success. A partner who would join me on this journey would be in it for the adventure and the experience (plus with my success on the trip, I'm taking you on a little adventure in return... I'm thinking Fiji or Australia)."
Yes, pay for him to tour the world with his band, and he'll let you come along and be his groupie...absolutely FREE! How could you not wet your panties and jump at the chance for that?!
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Millionare #3
Profile title: EVER HEARD OF TONY ROBBINS?
I have to admit that I have grown to like you people, so I will not subject you to any of his actual profile. Just imagine how bad it would be. Just take a moment...now...multiply that by 100. You realize how bad that actually is? It's still worse. Oh, yeah. It's truly a thing of wonder and horror.
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Millionare #4
Profile title: Looking for a great gal
My impression: Looking for a great gal [that I can gum to death]
********************************
Mill..uh...Bach..uh..the next guy...
His profile: looking for a fine looking female who s down 2 earth n who likes a geed up homie from the south side
So...anyone want to tell mw what "geed up" means?
****************************
Oh, you're going to LOVE him. He's 27 (uh-huh) and likes cars (6 out of the 8 pictures posted in his profile? His car. Under the hood, inside view, etc.) Here are choice experpts from his profile.
"finally got my BS Degree in Physics from Almeda University based on my 16 years experience working on UAV's and manned aircraft / spacecraft" Uh-huh. So, been doing that since you were "11" I see. Fascinating.
"I have not dated anyone yet". At 27, you haven't had one date? Ever? Okay, sure.
"But perhaps when I meet the right lady who ever you are out there I will settle down and marry up." Perhaps you should work on that whole pesky date thing first. Just a thought...
"If you are into acting and modeling then you are my type." Methinks the boys has spent WAY too much time on the internets and not interacting with actual living breathing women. Obviously, he thinks he is ordering takeout. Oh, did I mention that he isn't even the "millionare" club? Nope, forgot to put that in his profile.
"I tried acting school but not really modeling. They suggested modeling but I didn't feel that it was my goal in life to act or model. I wanted a scientific job working on exotic propulsion such as quantum gravity which I solved making a breakthrough to replace String Theory and the other 10 theories out there. "
You know, I'm having WAY too much fun with this, so I will leave this open for all of you "higher educates". Please, feel free to rip this to shreads. I KNOW you want to.
"Plus I work in strange science so I can't talk too much about my work. It's pretty or going to be pretty hush hush. So there isn't too much I can talk about my work or where I will be working as it requires above top secret clearance."
Oh yes. OBVIOUSLY. Plus, on occasion, you run across a smart model. And, um, she might follow along with what I'm saying and uh...I'll run out of stuff to tell her from my high school physics class.
" have to take polygraphs, FBI interviews people, etc. It's alot of hassles to keep a clearance that high." But they TOTALLY don't mind if I put all this out there on a public dating website. Those guys are so whacky!
"So you will have to accept that fact if you like me and not ask questions." Yes, just be quiet and look pretty. That's your job. You're a model after all.
Two sentences later..."I had a roommate at Cal Poly Pomona who was into modeling and met alot of super models and actors who got me interested in it. I'd like to date a model or super model or actress." Do you think he's a little obsessive? And you just KNOW there are supermodels out there just totally cruising this site looking for super secret "aerospace guys" who look way younger than they actually are. I bet he has to beat them off with a stick. Well, I'm sure he's beating something off, anyway...
*********************
Just in case you were worried there weren't any actors on the site...
Look! It's my headshot! And just in case you were worried I'm not enthusiastic, my entire profile is filled with exclimation marks! Woo! I love Disneyland! Woo! Christians only please! Woo!
***************************
My only comment on this guy:
He's been on every SINGLE site I've been to so far. I honestly think he's either self promoting (he says he's a freelance tv writer) or a professional male escort ...of...some...kind. Or he's just damn ass lonely. Or horny. Something. It's sort of scary seeing him pop up in the first page or two of results every time I register somewhere, but here espically. Ew.
**************************
And to end this entry, my honest to god favorite entry:
Aw. Look. It's a magazine scan. Hello little magazine man. How are you? What's that you say in your profile? Someone 5'10, fair skin, light tan and blonde? Works out 5 times a week, goes hiking on the weekend, and other very specific details? Poor little magazine man. How long ago did she dump you? Did she get a restraining order? Did you find her ad on the site? Is that why you can't post your real picture? Aren't we a cute little stalker? I'm sure she'll have no idea that it's you, fall madly in love with your persona and take you back in a New York minute. No, really. I hear supermodels visit this site all the time, too.
Welcome to Millionarematch.com, where everyone is who they say they are, and no background checks nor income verification is required.
Are you ready to meet our bachelors? Keep in mind that all men that fall into the "Millionare" catagory make over $100,000 a year. (Not my definition...take it up with the site) Let's start with Milionare #1:
He lives in Florida, as is evidenced by his swell Miami Vice suit. He's 23...wait. Let me check that. Yep. His profile says he's 23. Okay, then from now on, so am I!
*****************
Moving on...
Millionare #2 obviously works at some sort of car dealership and thinks that classy means posing in the showroom and having your buddy snap your picture while the boss is out at lunch. Let's just let him speak for himself.
"LOOKING TO MEET AN ATTRACTIVE AND LOVING WOMEN. THAT LOVE'S TO BE SPOILED.I LOVE TO SURPRISE HER WITH GIFT'S,AND LIKE A VERY GOOD TIME. DINNER DANCING DRINK'S. AND JUST ENJOYING EACH OTHER. LET'S TALK AND MEET SOON." [sic]
Wow. I think I shall fall over dead if he does not write to me. Soon. *swoon*
******************
It's time for a short break for the "Honest, yet still a gold digger" entry into our program.
He's a 32 year old musician who lives here in Southern California. His parents died when he was young so he's had to fend for himself lo these many years. [I shit you not. He wrote about it in his DATING profile.] But wait... here's the meat and potatoes...
"Money isn't everything and it never will be... but the following would be a bonus. >>>What's wrong with finding the right person who also happens to have the means? I've never been a gold-digger by any stretch of the imagination, but find myself in a position where some financial backing would enable me to travel and play throughout Asia and Europe boosting my career and success. A partner who would join me on this journey would be in it for the adventure and the experience (plus with my success on the trip, I'm taking you on a little adventure in return... I'm thinking Fiji or Australia)."
Yes, pay for him to tour the world with his band, and he'll let you come along and be his groupie...absolutely FREE! How could you not wet your panties and jump at the chance for that?!
******************************
Millionare #3
Profile title: EVER HEARD OF TONY ROBBINS?
I have to admit that I have grown to like you people, so I will not subject you to any of his actual profile. Just imagine how bad it would be. Just take a moment...now...multiply that by 100. You realize how bad that actually is? It's still worse. Oh, yeah. It's truly a thing of wonder and horror.
******************************
Millionare #4
Profile title: Looking for a great gal
My impression: Looking for a great gal [that I can gum to death]
********************************
Mill..uh...Bach..uh..the next guy...
His profile: looking for a fine looking female who s down 2 earth n who likes a geed up homie from the south side
So...anyone want to tell mw what "geed up" means?
****************************
Oh, you're going to LOVE him. He's 27 (uh-huh) and likes cars (6 out of the 8 pictures posted in his profile? His car. Under the hood, inside view, etc.) Here are choice experpts from his profile.
"finally got my BS Degree in Physics from Almeda University based on my 16 years experience working on UAV's and manned aircraft / spacecraft" Uh-huh. So, been doing that since you were "11" I see. Fascinating.
"I have not dated anyone yet". At 27, you haven't had one date? Ever? Okay, sure.
"But perhaps when I meet the right lady who ever you are out there I will settle down and marry up." Perhaps you should work on that whole pesky date thing first. Just a thought...
"If you are into acting and modeling then you are my type." Methinks the boys has spent WAY too much time on the internets and not interacting with actual living breathing women. Obviously, he thinks he is ordering takeout. Oh, did I mention that he isn't even the "millionare" club? Nope, forgot to put that in his profile.
"I tried acting school but not really modeling. They suggested modeling but I didn't feel that it was my goal in life to act or model. I wanted a scientific job working on exotic propulsion such as quantum gravity which I solved making a breakthrough to replace String Theory and the other 10 theories out there. "
You know, I'm having WAY too much fun with this, so I will leave this open for all of you "higher educates". Please, feel free to rip this to shreads. I KNOW you want to.
"Plus I work in strange science so I can't talk too much about my work. It's pretty or going to be pretty hush hush. So there isn't too much I can talk about my work or where I will be working as it requires above top secret clearance."
Oh yes. OBVIOUSLY. Plus, on occasion, you run across a smart model. And, um, she might follow along with what I'm saying and uh...I'll run out of stuff to tell her from my high school physics class.
" have to take polygraphs, FBI interviews people, etc. It's alot of hassles to keep a clearance that high." But they TOTALLY don't mind if I put all this out there on a public dating website. Those guys are so whacky!
"So you will have to accept that fact if you like me and not ask questions." Yes, just be quiet and look pretty. That's your job. You're a model after all.
Two sentences later..."I had a roommate at Cal Poly Pomona who was into modeling and met alot of super models and actors who got me interested in it. I'd like to date a model or super model or actress." Do you think he's a little obsessive? And you just KNOW there are supermodels out there just totally cruising this site looking for super secret "aerospace guys" who look way younger than they actually are. I bet he has to beat them off with a stick. Well, I'm sure he's beating something off, anyway...
*********************
Just in case you were worried there weren't any actors on the site...
Look! It's my headshot! And just in case you were worried I'm not enthusiastic, my entire profile is filled with exclimation marks! Woo! I love Disneyland! Woo! Christians only please! Woo!
***************************
My only comment on this guy:
He's been on every SINGLE site I've been to so far. I honestly think he's either self promoting (he says he's a freelance tv writer) or a professional male escort ...of...some...kind. Or he's just damn ass lonely. Or horny. Something. It's sort of scary seeing him pop up in the first page or two of results every time I register somewhere, but here espically. Ew.
**************************
And to end this entry, my honest to god favorite entry:
Aw. Look. It's a magazine scan. Hello little magazine man. How are you? What's that you say in your profile? Someone 5'10, fair skin, light tan and blonde? Works out 5 times a week, goes hiking on the weekend, and other very specific details? Poor little magazine man. How long ago did she dump you? Did she get a restraining order? Did you find her ad on the site? Is that why you can't post your real picture? Aren't we a cute little stalker? I'm sure she'll have no idea that it's you, fall madly in love with your persona and take you back in a New York minute. No, really. I hear supermodels visit this site all the time, too.