Long Time, No Dates
Howdy! Sorry things have been so quiet lately, but I haven't had much to share. Then I went to a speed dating thing last night. Woo-Hoo!
Here's a snippet about the event I went to last night:
" Los Angeles singles to take part in Unusual speed dating event
LOS ANGELES, Jan. 5 /PRNewswire/ -- If there's one thing men and women
agree with when it comes to dating it's that cars make an impression, this
according to a Ford Fusion "Life in Drive" Dating Survey that polled more than
400 singles and revealed a whopping 89 percent of males and 95 percent of
females said they were somewhat likely to notice their date's car.
The survey is part of an upcoming series of Ford-sponsored speed dating
events in select U.S. cities to introduce the new Ford Fusion -- a mid-size
car designed with style and attitude and marketed under the theme, "Life in
Drive."
On January 5, Los Angeles-area singles will participate in an unusual Ford
Fusion Speed Dating event from 7-10 p.m. at Privilege, one of the hottest
clubs in Hollywood. During the invitation-only event area singles will get to
know each other during speed dates in Ford Fusion sedans. The new twist on
speed dating explores the role a car can have in making the right impression."
Oh, dear lord. So much to tell and so little time to type...
Well, let's start with when I arrived. Thank god I got there early, that's all I have to say. Becuase the valets thought I was cute, they let me park for free! Whoo! (Saved myself $20 right there) Plus, it only took them a minute to retrieve my car later that night.
What the cars looked like
There are about 20 cars lined up in two rows of ten. I meet the only other woman to arrive (Lauren, absolute doll!) and we sign in. They tell us it's an open bar for softdrinks now, and then a fully open bar after the dating. I decided to put down my money and just get a midori sour, since it looks like they are expecting at least 50 people.
Lauren and I sit down, and start talking when this person approached us:
Insert obligatory Austin Powers "It's a Man, Baby" refrence here.
Now, imagine the lines much deeper, and her skin as an odd shade of dark orange/brown. (Yes, much too much time at the spray tanning I'm afraid.) Lauren and I talked to 'her' for a few moments, and after she left we had an in depth discussion about how brave it was for a transgendered person to attend this sort of function. Little did we know.
So, up pops Gayle who I met at the lock and key event and we all get ushered outside for the main event.
The women get to choose which car and where they sit. (The men move from car to car. At only three minutes a date the've got some real exercise time in.)
I decided on the "L" car, since my name is Lori and all that stuff...which just happens to be the car that all the cameras wind up flocking to once we get going. Did I mention the local media was there? Three of my dates were taped, and then I was interviewed by three differnt local news stations. *sigh* It was more like I was stalked until I finally consented, but s'all good.
Highlights:
I sat in the driver seat.
The keys were in the ignition, but there were police there for security, so I didn't think I would get very far. I refrained from reprogramming all of the radio stations.
My first date was Aaron from Ohio. He looked like Opie. He acted like Opie. He just moved to L.A. Not going to stay Opie for very long. Sweet kid, however. (The minimum age for the event was supposed to be 25. I got him to tell me he was only 22.)
Then there was #53 whom I will refer to as the drunk guy. Pretty self explanitory.
Darrius sat down and said, "Could you please ask me something no one else has asked me tonight?" I said "If death were not an option and you were forced to choose between sleeping with Margaret Thatcher or Janet Reno who would you choose?" We sat with him in stunned silence for the 2 minutes and thirty seconds we had left together. Then, when he moved to the back seat (one woman in front one in back) He spent that time trying to discuss it with me and interrupting the new guy I was with. (Thatcher was his answer btw)
There was the interruption by this person, who will from this point on, only be referred to as "Bitch Face":
Here's our exchange, as best I remember it.
BF pokes her head into the car through the driver side window, uninvited, as I wait for my next date.
BF: You know, I've been watching you and you should always let the man talk first.
Me: Uh...
BF: If he talks first it gives you the power over the relationship
Me: Uh...huh.
BF: If you don't start following the rules, you'll never get a man.
Me: Okay, thanks. Look my date is here. Hello date.
BF: (pulling her head back out) Well, fine. Don't follow my advice. Good luck getting married.
She walked over to the TV and they looked something like this while discussing me:
Then there was Jeff who had a "George Michael" shirt on. I asked him if it was an 80's refrence or Arrested Development. He said AD and looked like he wanted to cry (for joy). It seems that the last five dates all discussed how much of a perv George Michael, the singer, was.
Mike. I never found out what he did. What his interests are. Nothing. I said "Wow. You have really pretty eyes." Then he told me that I had pretty eyes. Then we argued over who's eyes were prettier. It was a very deep conversation.
Frank the morgate broker told me how much he hated his job and women in general. Frank needs some serious therapy.
Then, there was Isreal. He brought me a bottled water.
So, after 18 dates (and I only met half the men) they ended the dating and called us all back inside. They they announce that the women from "The Rules"
(Yes, that horribly craptastic dating book from the 90's) are going to pull number for the drawing for undisclosed stuff.
Who gets up on stage but these two:
That's right! Bitchface and the TV! (BTW, I love crossdressers and all transgendered people. I was serious when I said I thought it was a man. Swear to god. I actually liked her better before I found out it was a woman.)
So, they pull the numbers and guess what? I won an ipod nano. Yes, it totally rocks to be me.
My kick ass prize.
What was funny is that when I came up to claim it (They called "Number 2"), everyone yelled, "Lori!" all happy and stuff. Honestly, I've never had a cheers moment in my life, but this was pretty erie. I had already taken off my name tag and everything. I guess I made a good impression on the people I met and talked to. (Except Bitchface who was making...well, a bitch face.)
So, after the drawing, they come over to Gayle and start talking all this crap to her. I've never wanted to slap two women so hard in my life. (BTW the ipod was provided by Ford, not these two)
Some pearls of wisdom:
"If you want to get married, never date a married man."
"Always end the phone call first. Never call a man. Always end the date first." [Me - "Yes, because we wouldn't want him to think we like him or anything]
and my favorite, directed to my friend Gayle:
"You have to signup for all of these dot coms. Match.com, love.com. Just think of your self as shit you have to keep throwing at the wall until you stick."
At which point I told her that I didn't appreciate her comparing my friend to feces.
So, we danced for a while, and I called it a night. Also? I tipped the valet $10. :D
Here's a snippet about the event I went to last night:
" Los Angeles singles to take part in Unusual speed dating event
LOS ANGELES, Jan. 5 /PRNewswire/ -- If there's one thing men and women
agree with when it comes to dating it's that cars make an impression, this
according to a Ford Fusion "Life in Drive" Dating Survey that polled more than
400 singles and revealed a whopping 89 percent of males and 95 percent of
females said they were somewhat likely to notice their date's car.
The survey is part of an upcoming series of Ford-sponsored speed dating
events in select U.S. cities to introduce the new Ford Fusion -- a mid-size
car designed with style and attitude and marketed under the theme, "Life in
Drive."
On January 5, Los Angeles-area singles will participate in an unusual Ford
Fusion Speed Dating event from 7-10 p.m. at Privilege, one of the hottest
clubs in Hollywood. During the invitation-only event area singles will get to
know each other during speed dates in Ford Fusion sedans. The new twist on
speed dating explores the role a car can have in making the right impression."
Oh, dear lord. So much to tell and so little time to type...
Well, let's start with when I arrived. Thank god I got there early, that's all I have to say. Becuase the valets thought I was cute, they let me park for free! Whoo! (Saved myself $20 right there) Plus, it only took them a minute to retrieve my car later that night.
What the cars looked like
There are about 20 cars lined up in two rows of ten. I meet the only other woman to arrive (Lauren, absolute doll!) and we sign in. They tell us it's an open bar for softdrinks now, and then a fully open bar after the dating. I decided to put down my money and just get a midori sour, since it looks like they are expecting at least 50 people.
Lauren and I sit down, and start talking when this person approached us:
Insert obligatory Austin Powers "It's a Man, Baby" refrence here.
Now, imagine the lines much deeper, and her skin as an odd shade of dark orange/brown. (Yes, much too much time at the spray tanning I'm afraid.) Lauren and I talked to 'her' for a few moments, and after she left we had an in depth discussion about how brave it was for a transgendered person to attend this sort of function. Little did we know.
So, up pops Gayle who I met at the lock and key event and we all get ushered outside for the main event.
The women get to choose which car and where they sit. (The men move from car to car. At only three minutes a date the've got some real exercise time in.)
I decided on the "L" car, since my name is Lori and all that stuff...which just happens to be the car that all the cameras wind up flocking to once we get going. Did I mention the local media was there? Three of my dates were taped, and then I was interviewed by three differnt local news stations. *sigh* It was more like I was stalked until I finally consented, but s'all good.
Highlights:
I sat in the driver seat.
The keys were in the ignition, but there were police there for security, so I didn't think I would get very far. I refrained from reprogramming all of the radio stations.
My first date was Aaron from Ohio. He looked like Opie. He acted like Opie. He just moved to L.A. Not going to stay Opie for very long. Sweet kid, however. (The minimum age for the event was supposed to be 25. I got him to tell me he was only 22.)
Then there was #53 whom I will refer to as the drunk guy. Pretty self explanitory.
Darrius sat down and said, "Could you please ask me something no one else has asked me tonight?" I said "If death were not an option and you were forced to choose between sleeping with Margaret Thatcher or Janet Reno who would you choose?" We sat with him in stunned silence for the 2 minutes and thirty seconds we had left together. Then, when he moved to the back seat (one woman in front one in back) He spent that time trying to discuss it with me and interrupting the new guy I was with. (Thatcher was his answer btw)
There was the interruption by this person, who will from this point on, only be referred to as "Bitch Face":
Here's our exchange, as best I remember it.
BF pokes her head into the car through the driver side window, uninvited, as I wait for my next date.
BF: You know, I've been watching you and you should always let the man talk first.
Me: Uh...
BF: If he talks first it gives you the power over the relationship
Me: Uh...huh.
BF: If you don't start following the rules, you'll never get a man.
Me: Okay, thanks. Look my date is here. Hello date.
BF: (pulling her head back out) Well, fine. Don't follow my advice. Good luck getting married.
She walked over to the TV and they looked something like this while discussing me:
Then there was Jeff who had a "George Michael" shirt on. I asked him if it was an 80's refrence or Arrested Development. He said AD and looked like he wanted to cry (for joy). It seems that the last five dates all discussed how much of a perv George Michael, the singer, was.
Mike. I never found out what he did. What his interests are. Nothing. I said "Wow. You have really pretty eyes." Then he told me that I had pretty eyes. Then we argued over who's eyes were prettier. It was a very deep conversation.
Frank the morgate broker told me how much he hated his job and women in general. Frank needs some serious therapy.
Then, there was Isreal. He brought me a bottled water.
So, after 18 dates (and I only met half the men) they ended the dating and called us all back inside. They they announce that the women from "The Rules"
(Yes, that horribly craptastic dating book from the 90's) are going to pull number for the drawing for undisclosed stuff.
Who gets up on stage but these two:
That's right! Bitchface and the TV! (BTW, I love crossdressers and all transgendered people. I was serious when I said I thought it was a man. Swear to god. I actually liked her better before I found out it was a woman.)
So, they pull the numbers and guess what? I won an ipod nano. Yes, it totally rocks to be me.
My kick ass prize.
What was funny is that when I came up to claim it (They called "Number 2"), everyone yelled, "Lori!" all happy and stuff. Honestly, I've never had a cheers moment in my life, but this was pretty erie. I had already taken off my name tag and everything. I guess I made a good impression on the people I met and talked to. (Except Bitchface who was making...well, a bitch face.)
So, after the drawing, they come over to Gayle and start talking all this crap to her. I've never wanted to slap two women so hard in my life. (BTW the ipod was provided by Ford, not these two)
Some pearls of wisdom:
"If you want to get married, never date a married man."
"Always end the phone call first. Never call a man. Always end the date first." [Me - "Yes, because we wouldn't want him to think we like him or anything]
and my favorite, directed to my friend Gayle:
"You have to signup for all of these dot coms. Match.com, love.com. Just think of your self as shit you have to keep throwing at the wall until you stick."
At which point I told her that I didn't appreciate her comparing my friend to feces.
So, we danced for a while, and I called it a night. Also? I tipped the valet $10. :D