What is up with men?
So, I had a really bad case of the flu. Then I got food poisoning. I've never had so many requests for my number in my life.
So, most days I wake up SUPER early, blow out my hair, put on makeup, blah blah blah. Do men pay attention to me? For the most part, no. You all have seen a picture of me, so it's not like I'm a total dog. I'm heavy, but I think I'm pretty cute. I'm an "aquired" taste, looks wise. No big. I'm happy.
So, I get the one/two punch of the flu and food poisoning, and I swear to god, you would have thought I'd had plastic surgery and gotten DDD sized breasts.
We're talking no makeup, unbrushed hair, and 17 shades of pale. I was at the target, picking up Pedialite just to try to keep some sort of liquid down, and this guy comes up out of nowhere and tries to start talking to me. (This is typical of what's been happening)
Here's our conversation:
Him: Hey, how's it going?
Me: (nod and try to smile)
Him: Pedialyte, huh? You got a little one at home who's sick.
Me: (try to smile and shake head. Quickly calculate distance to nearest bathroom)
Him: Oh, well, that's cool.
Me: (wonders if she passes out in the target, if people will just walk by and leave her there)
Him: Yeah, I usually drink gatorade when I'm sick.
Me: (smile, nod, start to walk toward bathroom)
Him: Do you live around here?
Me: (nod, walk faster)
Him: I'm Alejandro.
Me: (Holds up finger as if to say "one sec", runs into restroom)
- two minutes later, upon exiting the ladies room -
Him: Hey, are you all right?
Me: Food poisoning
Him: Oh, that's too bad.
Me: Yep.
Him: So, you want to go out tonight.
Me: Um...
Him: Probably not, huh?
Me: It's not you...
Him: So, then you want to go back to your place?
Me: (blank stare)
Him: I'll take that as a no.
Me: Good guess.
What about the "Wow. I wish someone would run me over and put me out of my misery" look translates into "hey baby, ask me for some hot action"? Blah.
So, most days I wake up SUPER early, blow out my hair, put on makeup, blah blah blah. Do men pay attention to me? For the most part, no. You all have seen a picture of me, so it's not like I'm a total dog. I'm heavy, but I think I'm pretty cute. I'm an "aquired" taste, looks wise. No big. I'm happy.
So, I get the one/two punch of the flu and food poisoning, and I swear to god, you would have thought I'd had plastic surgery and gotten DDD sized breasts.
We're talking no makeup, unbrushed hair, and 17 shades of pale. I was at the target, picking up Pedialite just to try to keep some sort of liquid down, and this guy comes up out of nowhere and tries to start talking to me. (This is typical of what's been happening)
Here's our conversation:
Him: Hey, how's it going?
Me: (nod and try to smile)
Him: Pedialyte, huh? You got a little one at home who's sick.
Me: (try to smile and shake head. Quickly calculate distance to nearest bathroom)
Him: Oh, well, that's cool.
Me: (wonders if she passes out in the target, if people will just walk by and leave her there)
Him: Yeah, I usually drink gatorade when I'm sick.
Me: (smile, nod, start to walk toward bathroom)
Him: Do you live around here?
Me: (nod, walk faster)
Him: I'm Alejandro.
Me: (Holds up finger as if to say "one sec", runs into restroom)
- two minutes later, upon exiting the ladies room -
Him: Hey, are you all right?
Me: Food poisoning
Him: Oh, that's too bad.
Me: Yep.
Him: So, you want to go out tonight.
Me: Um...
Him: Probably not, huh?
Me: It's not you...
Him: So, then you want to go back to your place?
Me: (blank stare)
Him: I'll take that as a no.
Me: Good guess.
What about the "Wow. I wish someone would run me over and put me out of my misery" look translates into "hey baby, ask me for some hot action"? Blah.