I just got back from therapy. I told her about the fragments I remember. I told her that I wondered if it was a real memory that was triggered or if it was something my mind was creating to further hide the truth. She said it sounded more like a triggered memory and cautioned me again about taking it slow ( Read more... )

I keep on forgetting about this so I want to write about it before it's too late and I lose it completely ( Read more... )

Just read this joke in a forum ( Read more... )

I've been thinking lately that we're more co-concious than I give us credit for. lol Then, days like today happen and I know it's true ( Read more... )

Orion called me, "Bad Mommy" tonight after I told him it was bedtime (something he picked up from another kid). I started to freak out on him, but I wasn't me. It triggered the other Jessica. I managed to regain control though so nothing bad happened ( Read more... )

I feel dirty. I spent an hour in the shower this morning because I kept on feeling dirty. Not in a perverted kind of dirty. But, physically like I had dust and spider webs on me. Right now I'm fine. But the sensation keeps on comming and going ( Read more... )

Things still look...off...today. But, at least I don't feel like I'm going through some diluted acid trip. Last night it got to the point where I felt like the walls were breathing. This morning things still have an odd curved look to them. But, I don't have any of the odd sensations (well, I felt an ant crawling on me but it turned out to be a ( Read more... )

There's a forum that I go to a lot that deals with DID. Tonight, out of curiosity and boredom, I decided to read the support for support people area. There was one post that sort of triggered something. I'm not sure what ( Read more... )

For a bit I was Cara. Just as I signed onto her account the baby needed to be nursed. Then I was Cara and a bit of Jessie. Then I felt like I was Uoko (watching a sci fi show). Then Kieriana finished nursing and I got up to write in my (Cara's) journal. Except I don't remember writing my last entry which means that I'm not Cara. Though I'm ( Read more... )

Cycling again tonight. Not even sure who I am right now. And as I lay here, contimplating that, I find myself full of fear all of the sudden. I just keep on seeing what T said. About the cuts being a sign of instability and how if we push too hard I can become instable. I'm laying here, staring off into space. Both my children asleep here on ( Read more... )