More writing homework, a setting sketch this time! This time set in WW2 (and with only one line of dialogue). Again, I rushed it some (procrastination!!!), but it turned out well enough that I feel like sharing.
is it bad that the first thing i thought was HEY MY PSP IS NAMED 'PYOTR' TOO
I am really no good at offering crit on LJ (over IM is a lot easier, believe you me D8) but something I noticed (not necessarily bad) was that the events in this piece felt a lot more rushed than in your earlier England/Spain piece. I had to reread a few parts to make sure I knew what was going on. XD; It might just be my selective reading at work again, though.
NO IT'S DEFINITELY RUSHED. XD You know how I procrastinate mang. Also, I had to cut a shit load of writing out to keep it from being any longer than it already was. This is five pages, doublespaced, and my teacher wanted 1-2 pages, WHOOPS. TELL ME THE PARTS YOU THOUGHT WERE THE MOST RUSHED, it would help greatly when I rewrite it for turning in with my portfolio at the end of the semester, as well as just rewriting it because I LOVE THIS CHARACTER SO HARD and he feels so lonely in my head, untouched. :(
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I am really no good at offering crit on LJ (over IM is a lot easier, believe you me D8) but something I noticed (not necessarily bad) was that the events in this piece felt a lot more rushed than in your earlier England/Spain piece. I had to reread a few parts to make sure I knew what was going on. XD; It might just be my selective reading at work again, though.
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