(Untitled)

[wearestarrdust]

The next little "segment" from my universe of The Genesis Project.
Please feel free to comment and critique as you feel you'd like too.

Title: The Girl in the Basement
Rating: PG
Story: The Genesis Project
Prompts: Rocky Road #9 "Basement", Carrot Cake #21 "Carry", and Vanilla Bean #2 "Chance"
Word Count: 510
Summary: While feeling misplaced,

Comments

[xfirefly9x]

Nice. I love the description of the girl especially. :)

A suggestion.. You could try showing a bit more, rather than telling so much..

[wearestarrdust]

Thank you. I really enjoyed writing this one.

You know what...I've been told that before - I really have no idea what that mean's or how to do it?

[xfirefly9x]

:)

Hmm'kay. Well.
Basically... telling is what you tend to do... You describe the scene and what happens and tell the reader everything up front. Example, the sentence "He was happy." is telling. Showing would be "His lips curled up in an amused grin." Does that make sense?

[wearestarrdust]

Hummm, yes that make's sense. Can you give me some examples from sentances from this peice descriptive vs showing?

[wearestarrdust]

Excellent, I'm glad you're enjoying it.
Yes, much information is missing, that's my snippet style of writing. I can start to reveal more information about the project soon, I just need a burst of inspiration :)

[wearestarrdust]

:)