Straight From the Textbooks
Fandom: Twilight
Rating: Definitely MATURE; this is GRAPHIC
Pairings: Canon
Comments: This had taken so long to write, really. Maybe because this is so long... But also, 'cause I had writer's block, which sucks, especially when wanting to get something out really quickly. My patience was starting to run so low with this, and it certainly affected the quality. I'm very sorry for that.... Not to mention, this is the UNEDITED version. Read at your own risk.
Continue to the rest of Chapter 3
There's something to be said about the way someone acts in a long car ride. There's the person who constantly has to change the music, or the person who obsesses over the directions... The one who insists on play cheesy or crazy games - Emmett. The one who tries to get everyone to talk, no matter what the subject - Alice. The impatient, bitter person asking every twenty seconds "when we'd get there" - Rosalie. Or the person who'd rather sleep than have to deal with the conflicting emotions and personalities in the car - Jasper.
Then there's Edward, who, throughout the car ride, will try to seduce you in any way, shape, or form. And it works. Of course, he was probably doing that just to calm my nerves, or distract me. And that works too, if it weren't for the fact that I keep thinking someone will find out, and by someone, I mean his parents. It's the day that we've - I've - been dreading: Thanksgiving. Or, the day before Thanksgiving.
We planned to see my father tomorrow for Thanksgiving breakfast, then go to Edward's parents for Thanksgiving dinner. It'd be the first time he'd meet my father as my boyfriend. The last time he had met him, I was graduating from high school, and Edward was telling my father how great of a student and a friend I was to him. I cringed, worrying about my father meeting him face to face. I hadn't exactly told him that the Edward Cullen he was going to meet was the same Mr. Cullen I'd talk about after school.
Edward was well aware of this as well, but he was convinced that everything will be just fine. While I knew he had an uncanny sense of reading people, I was more than a little worried about this particular instance. This was my father, Chief of Forks Police, owner of a good amount of firearms in his home, overprotective dad extraordinaire, that we are talking about here. The only boy he ever really was okay with me to date was Jacob, and that was, well... not as pleasant as I had hoped it to be.
Yet again, I cringed during the car ride, which I was pretty sure Edward noticed, but he probably figured it was because I was too nervous about meeting his parents and him meeting my father - which I was - as opposed to thinking about Jacob. I remembered when I told Edward about Jacob about a month ago during Halloween.
We were passing out candy to the little children in the hospital he would usually be at, (he wasn't a resident yet, but he volunteered there so often he was considered an employee anyway) when a small child in a Native American costume came up. I started laughing about a joke that Jacob said about people dressing up as "clichéd Natives, who would be better off as joining the Village People." Obviously curious, Edward asked why I was laughing so hard and I relayed the joke, when he noticed the somber tone in my voice. And he got jealous.
It was almost cute, his jealousy, were it not for his irrationality. He didn't talk to me the whole night, which gave the nurses headway into flirting with him. In my presence. I grew irrationally jealous, and not to mention hurt, so I walked out. He chased me down to my apartment, and when we opened the door with his spare key, he found me laying on my couch half naked and crying. It was a good thing Alice was at Jasper's, because I had quite the emotional break down that night. He got around to telling me about those women, who could never measure up to me in his eyes, and I got around to telling him about Jacob.
Jacob had been my best friend every time I was in Forks, ever since I was a little girl. I had always preferred to hang out with him than his sisters, who were at times too girly for me. Then I moved to Forks in junior year, and we had become full blown best friends, BFF status, which made Charlie a happy, happy man. After all, our fathers were best friends as well, so it was natural the children should be too. However, "friends" wasn't all Charlie and Billy had in mind. It seemed the two of them had plans for us to be involved romantically as well.
Hence why, in my senior year, Charlie practically forced a date on me with Jacob. Needless to say, that did not end well, and Edward even remembered my sour mood afterward at school. Only, he thought it was because Jacob didn't return my "feelings". I even remembered trying to clear the fact up that I certainly had no feelings whatsoever for my best friend. Fast forward a couple years later, my sophomore year of college, while Jacob was a freshman at Washington State. Jacob said he missed me, and a few too many drinks later, we were making out on Alice's favorite piece of furniture, and confessing so many stupid apologies. ...We tried to make it work for however many months, really we did, but it was like pulling teeth. So when he met Nessie, I didn't say anything to keep him. I didn't need to. They're still going on strong.
The only thing I really missed of him now was his friendly presence. I wanted a best friend. I had Alice, but Jacob offered something else: a man's point of view. Though, I guess Edward was my new best friend, especially in this man-friendship need, but it still wasn't the same. When I told Edward this, he immediately sympathized and felt bad about being irrationally envious... Though, I had to say, that was the best make up sex I've ever had.
Then again, any sex with Edward was the best I've had.
...But Charlie didn't need to know that. He needed a better, more valid reason to like Edward more than Jacob... or at least to the amount that he liked him at. Having sexy car time on the way to seeing Charlie before Thanksgiving didn't exactly help much. If you added that to the fact that he was my teacher, well, you have a recipe for a complete and total disaster.
Though, it wasn't only Charlie I was worried about. I was going to be meeting Edward's parents too. We were going to eat Thanksgiving dinner with them, but I was going to meet them tonight, since Esme insisted. Knowing Esme (or, technically not knowing her, only knowing of her), she was probably absolutely thrilled at the idea that Edward had a real girlfriend, which I heard was very rare nowadays.
However, Edward didn't tell either of his parents as well that I had been his student. Although, I had a sneaking suspicion that they'd take it a lot better than Charlie would; well, Esme would at least. Carlisle, who I've heard was the most understanding and rational man, would also be accepting, but I was afraid that his rational side would give out and make him disapprove.
The fact that I would be meeting my boyfriend's parents made me anxious; the fact that I would be meeting my-boyfriend-AKA-my-teacher's parents made me downright paranoid. Edward insisted that everything would be alright, but I knew better. How would any parent think so calmly about their child dating someone who knew them in less than ideal conditions? ...Though, I really shouldn't be saying that, since Renee would take one look at Edward and say he's good enough for me. She wasn't shallow, she just believed in extreme attraction... which I had for him... greatly...
In fact, looking at him with his eyes smoldering every time he'd glance off the road at me made me squirm, in need of some sort of relief... Who knew he was such a... fiend in these long car rides? Then again, I must have been just as bad if I was thinking the same thing. I fought to control myself. I'm so distracted by this that I almost forget that I'm about to meet his parents.
"Just calm down, Bella," he said, using that voice that would give me a shiver just about every time. There was no way I was going to be calm at this rate. His actions were doing just the opposite. Of course, I had to let him know.
"You know, you're not helping," I said bitterly.
He simply laughed at my expense. My mood was growing more annoyed with every bit he widened his smile... his gorgeous... bright... smile... Goodness, I felt eighteen all over again, reveling over what I could take in of his features. "Hey, it worked, didn't it?"
I shook my head out of my slight reverie. What was he talking about? "Huh?"
He laughed harder now. Confused, I looked up at him questioningly, getting slightly lost in his features once more. He glanced away from the road, with that damn crooked smile of his. "I was talking about the fact that now you're too distracted to be so nervous."
In an instant, a scowl reached my face. I was doing so well too on not focusing on the fact that we were meeting his parents soon... Okay, okay, he was the one to distract me, but his ego was already too inflated and I had too much pride to let him know that. I turned up the volume of the classical playlist of his iPod and pointedly ignored him. I guess now was the time to wallow and dread what was to come. Say goodbye to good standing with Charlie, Bella, and say goodbye to a chance with Edward after his parents meet you. I was staring out of the window thinking sulkily about the different scenarios Edward was going to realize his parents' lack of approval would trigger the wrongness he felt in our relationship, when I felt his hand at my thigh.
I immediately looked up in his direction, looking all around us while averting his gaze. We were parked at a pit stop; for looking out of the windows so much, I didn't have enough perception to notice we had actually stopped. The idea that he wouldn't have enough faith in our relationship was more pressing than where we were at. But did that mean I didn't have faith in our relationship, if I were questioning the bond we had? It certainly felt that way... After all, my feelings were very clear to me, but his, though reassuringly stable, couldn't be nearly as strong as the ones I felt.
After just a week of dating Edward, I knew I was in love with him.
In fact, I must have been in love with him since I was in high school. Sure, it seemed like a harmless teacher crush, but every time I looked back to that time, my emotions felt much higher than any petty high school "love". I could blame it on the hormones, but those feelings were still here today. The swelling of my chest, the increase in my heart beat, the pure joy that I had... all came at just the mere mention of him. These emotions were definitely there even when I was away from him, and I was so obvious about it. Alice would try to set me up with student-teachers just to get my reaction; she was horribly cruel at the time. One time she even set me up with an actual teacher and I almost had a heart attack. Needless to say, I had a thing for teachers in college. Hell, I had a thing for teachers now... or was it doctors?
In any case, letting these feelings build up when I was in high school meant that this... love... was so much more stronger than any feelings he could have for me. As much as I loved him, I had let myself begin to love him since school, whereas he only started thinking of getting to be with me romantically only a couple months ago. I felt myself frown as I thought about how he thought of our relationship and where it was going.
"Bella? What could possibly have you looking so worried and nervous?" he said softly, circling his thumb on my thigh. "I just wish I could hear what's going on through your mind... 'cause I have a feeling it's not just about meeting our parents..."
"Really, I was just thinking; it's nothing to worry about." This time I avoided his eyes, attempting to look outside the window once more...
"But I want to know what you're thinking about," his voice pleaded with me, as if this was the most important thing in the world to him right now. I was doubting that fact very much.
Slowly, I brought my eyes back to his, and what I found in his face shocked me. I knew he was pleading with me through the shaky tenor in his voice, but what I didn't expect was this hurt and, yet, curious expression. I almost had to laugh; he reminded me so much of a lost puppy. (Gosh, what was up with me and dogs? First the wolfish Jacob Black, then Mike Newton the golden retriever, and now Mr. Cullen.) With that face, I couldn't help but give in to his pleading...
"Well, mostly my thoughts have been about tonight and tomorrow," I started slowly, but I knew my words were going to come out rushed now, and before I could stop them, they were flying out of my mouth. "Obviously I'm jittery about what our parents will think of us, especially my father... I just know how he is. Then there are your parents, who I've heard so much about, but they most certainly couldn't have heard as much as I've heard about them. It's bound to be awkward, and they'll probably be disapproving and very disappointed in you. I know we've gone over this, and you think I'm overreacting, but I feel like it's all going to blow up on us, and you're going to give up on us... on me...
"And I don't know how I can handle that," my voice was starting to become shaky. "Sometimes I just can't help myself when I'm around you, not just sexually, but... emotionally. Emotionally, I want to give up, but I'm so supercharged, and these feelings just go haywire. Edward, I can't stop myself from this, so if you're to leave me, I don't know what will become of me... but I know that I'll be emotionally drained." Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, unsure of how to continue, if I should continue. I had already said too much; I almost slipped up about confessing my love for him.
My eyes propped open when I felt Edward's hand on my cheek. He held me so gently and tenderly, I could almost feel as much feeling in his touch as I had pouring out of me. His eyes looked just as soft as the hair on his head, and my heart melted.
"Bella, I don't want you thinking I'll be leaving you any time soon, if ever," my heart skipped a beat, "This isn't at all a relationship based on sex, but didn't I tell you before how no other girl could compare to you? I simply cannot see myself separated from you, despite what our parents would say. And... I didn't want to do this in the parking lot of a pit stop, but, Bella, I have to tell you that I am madly--"
A truck drove by and honked at us. The truck driver made kissing faces and his passenger gave cat calls. My face flushed at the attention we were getting as I realized the sort of scene we were making; my face was inches from his while both of his hands were on me. I thought at how much the idea of off-road sex would be much more ideal than going at it in the car at a pit stop would be. At least off-road you're given a little more privacy... But why on earth was I thinking this in the first place?
My attention was brought back to Edward, and I was surprised to find his expression very agitated now. Suddenly, I felt as if I did something wrong, though I'm not sure what. Then I thought back to the truck driver; maybe he interrupted Edward's apologetic groove? I thought Edward was doing a mighty fine job at reassuring me, and already the thought of our relationship weakening was out of my mind. It was only a moment of panic on my part.
"Oh Edward, I'm sorry about my overreaction..." I said apologetically. He looked as if he was about to speak again, and I didn't want him to feel like he had to keep reassuring me, so I gave him a peck on the lips. "It's okay; I know how many times we've had this conversation before this trip, and I don't want to subject you to another one." I winked at him to lighten the mood. "Let me just go to the vending machine to grab a snack, then we'll go, unless you want to do something else here?"
His expression, initially let down at my interruption, turned devilish as he squeezed my thigh. "I could think of a few things I'd rather do right now."
My eyes widened. Did he not just hear the honking and the teasing of the truck drivers? I voiced my thoughts to him, to which he laughed at. His hand was still squeezing my thigh, but he only apologetically gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. I watched him hurry over to the restroom, unsure as to whether I should feel grateful or disgruntled. There sure had to be a fine line between those two, especially in this case.
I just knew that Edward was sincere. He was sincere with his reassurances, and most definitely sincere with the hints at something naughty, and sincere in his apologies. My heart swelled inside of me, and I wanted nothing more than to just scream at the top of my lungs my declarations of love... though, I doubt that would go very well with him. This would go from the happiest and most comfortable relationship I've ever had to a complete dud...
Shaking off my over-thinking, I got out of the car to the vending machine. Not long afterwards, I was in the car with Edward, and we were driving off out of the pit stop. Of course, we got a lovely reminder as to what we were about to do when the truck drivers honked at us again. I felt myself blush at their implications, but other than that, I couldn't find myself caring about it anymore.
Forks loomed in closer ahead. I tried not think about what getting closer would entail, but I couldn't help but think about the fact that I was meeting his parents very, very soon. Seeming to sense my returning anxiety, Edward gingerly picked up my hand and gave it a slight squeeze. He glanced at me and gave me his most beautiful crooked grin. No matter what, I knew we'd make it through. I would keep our relationship continuing, despite what anyone says. I knew this, because he was willing to do the same for us.
The streets began to ring bells in my brain, and I knew we were in Forks now. A wave of nostalgia hit me, just as it did every time I came back here. I felt regret when I realized it had been nearly a year since I was here to visit Charlie, on Christmas. In fact, I only went here for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Being with Edward made me realize that I should visit more often; he saw his parents nearly every month. Then again, he was always a bit of a Momma's Boy. But I was supposed to be a Daddy's Girl... yet it definitely didn't seem that way anymore.
Edward squeezing my hand brought me back to the present. We were on the highway, and Forks High School passed on by. I let out a sigh as I took it in. Would I ever have thought that I'd come back here, with Edward - Mr. Cullen - caressing my hand? Certainly not, but the thought made me grin.
"Brings back memories, huh?" he said, breaking the silence.
"Mmhm," I said, still staring at Forks High. It was going out of sight now, and I couldn't help but feel a sense of relief. The school always did make me feel trapped.
"We're almost to my house," he said.
I turned to him then. "Oh?"
"Yep, just gotta turn in here," he said lowly, taking a turn at one of the side streets. It was lined with trees and nearly deserted. I could hardly believe anyone would live so deep in the forest, and what exactly the house would be like there; my unasked question was answered as we pulled up to a gorgeous home, which could have easily cost more than every single thing I owned combined.
"Edward! You live here?" I was suddenly embarrassed for my apartment with Alice. While Alice liked nice things, we weren't exactly the most well off of girls, and most certainly our home wasn't nearly as... accommodated at this.
He stopped right in front of the porch that led right up to the front door, as opposed to going straight to the garage, which I knew he would have normally done. He always did so, yet here he was, opening my door, being a complete gentleman, but he always did that too. Except for when we're in bed. I wished my brain would stop it; thoughts like that were so distracting, and I was going to meet his parents.
It seemed Edward was also anxious, or eager, for this, because as soon as I was out of the car, his arm hooked with mine so that he could take me up the porch at his faster pace. My heart was pounding so fast; I could hear it in my ears. My palms were sweaty, which was embarrassing, since Edward had begun to hold my hand through our linked arms. Our arms were awkwardly positioned, but it felt nice to be twined with him, since a wave of reassurance crashed over me. It was another reminder to say we're together all the way through this no matter what.
And before we even got to knocking, or taking out any house keys, or whatever, the front door swung open and a woman came straight at Edward's body. She gave him a hug, before I could even register her even being there, and it felt uncomfortable, since our arms were still entwined.
I heard him say softly, "I missed you too, Mom." My heart burst at his compassion; it was obvious he really did miss her. I took the opportunity to observe him in a way I haven't before, and take in his mother for the first time. He looked at peace, with his mother in his arms. His eyes, closed, yet obviously filled with tenderness, were the most peaceful feature of his face. She looked just as peaceful. The two of them were so beautiful, it almost hurt.
After a moment, she broke off of him, and then quickly turned to give me a quick hug as Edward and I unlinked our arms. I tried to hide the surprise on my face. "Bella! I'm so glad to have finally met you. I'm sorry about that. I just haven't seen my boy since September, but I'm not complaining." She winked at me, and I blushed instinctively.
"It's nice to meet you too, Esme; I've heard so much about you. I'm sorry for keeping Edward for so long... I didn't know he hadn't visited you at all." In retrospect, I should have known, since he spent most of his time with me anyway. Immediately I felt guilty for keeping him all to myself; I was being selfish about it.
"Hush, Bella, I told you I wasn't complaining," she said brightly, hooking an arm to mine. We started walking into the house, leaving Edward on the porch. "It's about time that boy did something about that bad luck with... his, ah, dull lifestyle. I trust you are keeping him well entertained?"
I had to blush again, wondering if she made the innuendo on purpose. It was so odd to be having this conversation with my boyfriend's mother, especially considering it was our first conversation ever, but I guess I should have expected this from Esme, from all that I had heard about her. In my moment of realization, I mustered up all the courage I had to lean in and say, "Don't worry, there's nothing for him to be bored of."
She threw her head back and laughed. My blush came back, now in a more subtle shade, but I laughed with her anyway. This felt nice... Much different from my preconceived notions of her and our first meeting. She seemed every bit as motherly as Edward had always said, but she was also so easy to talk to and likeable. The worry I had had in the car was long gone, and replaced with content.
"Hey! Don't think I can't hear you," Edward piped up from directly behind us.
"Quiet, Edward, can't you see I'm having a bonding moment with your delightful girlfriend here?" she admonished him on the spot without even taking a look back at him. I couldn't help but glance over to him, and I noticed the defeated look on his face. I held back my laughter.
Still hooked onto Esme's arm, I wasn't exactly sure where I was being taken, but I let her lead us. We were soon in a living room area, where a large television I knew Emmett would appreciate, a classy three-piece suede couch Alice would appreciate, and a piano, that I knew Edward appreciated, were strategically placed to create a sense of a complete room without making it seem busy. I was rather impressed by the way everything was laid out as I remembered hearing that Esme had dabbled in interior design; she surely laid out the composition of their home.
"Your house is absolutely beautiful, Esme, you did a great job with the design," I said, in almost an embarrassing tone of awe.
She let out a light laugh again, the sound reminding me of the tinkling giggles of Alice. "Why, Bella, you seem to know how to charm a lady. Well, if you're trying to win the heart of the boyfriend's mother, you've accomplished it."
Her comment made me grin. It felt so good to have this approval. After all that had happened with Rosalie last month, I was anxious about what people thought about Edward and I. Rosalie, my mind rang in sadness. My heart sank when I remembered her initial reaction. She was perturbed by Edward being older than I was, but even more so with the fact that he had been my teacher. Though she got over it after a few days, she had kept the lingering disapproval that had finally exploded last month just before Halloween. Halloween had been interesting enough already; I don't think I needed to make it worse. Now that was one event I didn't want to think about, especially now that everything was alright.
"Edward," Esme said, which brought me out of my thoughts. "Why don't you play for Bella on your old piano while I go set up for dinner? I'm sure she'd like that."
"Oh! It's okay, Esme, I'd love to help out," I said quickly. "Edward doesn't need to play for me. He's actually played for me before." I chanced a glance over to him, which I knew would be dangerous territory. My face burned up at the sight of him, and his mirrored my own. The last time Edward played for me, we ended up making a mess of our clothes and in sound; the keys of a piano are beautiful when played, but there can be such a clashing noise when simply banging on it. I'd be horrified if Esme found out what we would do to his original piano if we'd go through with that again.
"Nonsense, Bella, I'm fine setting things up," she said, in a similar tone to what she used before with Edward. "And let him play; this was his first piano, and I'm sure he'd love to play regardless. Who knows how long it's been since he's played for you like this? Besides, I think Carlisle will be coming down soon; he's been dying to meet you."
With that, she left us in the living area, while Edward made his way over to the piano. He seemed right at home in front of that baby grand, and I was in awe of him. Not only had it hit me that his first piano was a baby grand (and an expensive looking one at that), but it was so evident that he was just at ease in front of it. This was much different from the upright he had at his home, and this one seemed to fit him more. Suddenly, he started to play.
Instinctively, I smiled; of course, I knew he would play something he had fun with. I recognized the tune of Rage Over a Lost Penny, something he was comfortable with. Of course, it was difficult, but his skill level knew no bounds. When the song was done, I made my way over to the piano bench and sat next to him. He didn't look over to me, but I felt him slightly scoot over so that his entire right side was touching my left. The energy charged between us as we connected. Bringing his fingers to the keys once more, he started the next piece. Both of us had slowly closed our eyes when letting the music flow. Edward must have been in a Beethoven mood, knowing right from the beginning this was Pathetique. I felt like such a classical smart-ass; I guess that came with being around Edward so much.
I opened my eyes, as I tried not think of him being around Edward so much, since he was so close to me, or of the fact that his limber fingers were all over the place when the tune got heated, but I couldn't help myself. I nearly lost it when the song began to slow down again, feeling the wave of passionate emotion; all kinds of feelings were expressed in this piece, which I wasn't sure what that could have meant, but I didn't think I should look into it. When the tune began to take on a happier note, he grinned, not exactly at me, but for me.
He finished the tune early, but I knew he left it at that calm part for a reason. We both closed our eyes once more, in a similar slow fashion to when we started, but the sound of light clapping brought us out of it immediately. We turned to the source, and in the doorway was probably one of the most handsome men I had ever come across. My face heated up, taking in his features. This man was almost golden, with his golden eyes, and golden hair, and golden skin that seemed to shimmer. He was tall and slightly lanky, and had a chiseled jaw exactly like Edward's. I knew immediately. Carlisle.
"Edward, it's good to hear you play again; I've missed it," Carlisle said, grinning at his son. I tried to stop my betraying thoughts; Edward was right next to me, for goodness's sake! It certainly wouldn't look good if I lusted after my love's father right next to said love. "And I get to finally meet the infamous Bella Swan."
"Infamous?" I squeaked, as I stood up to shake hands with him.
Carlisle chuckled, his laughter rippling all the way to his fingers touching mine. "You have quite the reputation at the hospital, even from your first day in Forks. I'm surprised I haven't met you yet, considering your history in the Emergency Room."
"Well maybe you'll get lucky soon," I replied, almost cheekily. I couldn't help but think inappropriate thoughts about what I had just said. Remember, Bella, Edward's still next to you! I wanted to tell my subconscious to shut up.
"I most certainly hope not," Edward interjected brusquely from beside me. We locked eyes for a moment, and he raised his brow at me, as if he knew what I was thinking. If I let myself believe it, he almost looked jealous. I swooned a little on the inside at the sight of his aggressive expression; this was my Cullen. Carlisle was already gone from my mind.
"Oh, Edward," Esme called, coming into the room now. "I just wanted to let you know that your cousins are coming in from Denali for Thanksgiving tomorrow."
Edward groaned, and I couldn't help but wonder what that was about. "How come no one informed me of this? How long are they staying? ...Oh no. Is Tanya coming too?"
"Edward! They're family, including Tanya; it's a given that they would come," Esme said sternly. "They're welcome to stay as long as they would like, since we weren't given a time period, but I'm pretty sure they're staying for only Thanksgiving night and leaving the day after."
The name Tanya rang a bell in my head. I recognized Tanya as Edward's first relationship. I furrowed my brow, and blurted out, "Tanya? As in your ex-girlfriend?"
"Yes." His voice was noncommittal.
"She's... your cousin?" My brow furrowed even more.
"Um... no, but she is my 'cousin'," he paused, and probably from looking at my confused expression, he continued to explain. "Our relatives in Alaska aren't our relatives; just close friends. But it's weird to call them that since I grew up with them and have grown to call them cousins. Tanya just so happens to be part of that family. When they lived here, she was the only girl I could really tolerate, and it just felt comfortable to have a relationship with her. It was a matter of convenience."
"Oh," was all I could say, because there wasn't anything to say. The fact that they weren't really related made me feel a lot better though, because then that'd make Edward the king of awkward relationships: a relationship with a student of his, and a relationship with his pseudo-cousin. But she was his past, regardless. And now she was coming here tomorrow. I felt sick.
"Bella? I hope that you're not upset about it, she really isn't my cousin," he said with a hint of a desperate tone. It made look up at him. He sounded so despondent that I wondered what on earth was going on in his mind. I immediately felt bad; I wasn't that put off by his dating his non-cousin... It was only the fact that I would have to meet her tomorrow that worried me.
I smiled at him. "Edward, don't worry so much about that, really. To tell the truth, I wasn't even thinking about that particular all that much."
He looked at me disbelievingly. His voice lowered, "Then why do you seem so troubled?"
"I..." I let my mouth hang as I stared up at him. "I just don't know how to handle meeting a person you, uh, had a relationship with."
For a moment he just blinked at me. I wasn't exactly sure what to expect out of him in response, but I certainly wasn't expecting the sudden laughter at what I had just said. He found that funny?
"Is that all?" he said with a bright smile.
"All?" I repeated, shocked. "She was your girlfriend Edward, and I'm going to meet her. I may not exactly follow the typical girl code, but I'm pretty sure that the ex is certainly supposed to be a bitch to the new girlfriend."
His laughter was much stronger now, and I could only blanch in response. "Luckily for you, Tanya doesn't follow girl code either. Trust me on this one. I'm pretty sure she'd like you more than she liked me."
"What? What's that supposed to mean?" I still felt dispirited; he was only trying to console me.
"Hon, Tanya's out and proud," Esme interrupted. I almost forgot his parents were there, but I had no time to think about what that meant she had witnessed because I was still registering what she had just said.
I blinked, still trying to process it. "Tanya's... gay?"
"Yep," Edward continued. "She's had quite a few men in her lifetime, but there was a reason why she didn't feel for any of them."
"That's not a problem for you, dear, is it?" Esme asked tenderly, but the way she eyed me as she said it meant business.
"Oh, no! No, no problem at all," I assured her. "I'm actually a bit relieved."
"Relieved?" Edward asked me, lifting his brows.
"Yeah," I admitted, taking a glance at Esme and Carlisle, who were both now in the doorway with their eyes fixated on us. It was embarrassing enough to admit this in front of Edward, but in front of his parents as well? In my embarrassment, I barely pushed out my murmur, "I thought I was going to have to deal with some competition."
Edward's eyes softened as he pulled me in his arms. "Oh Bella, I thought we've gone over how much you mean to me." His grip tightened around me. "And don't worry, Tanya's definitely not 'competition'. If anything, she'll just make me want to have you all the more. I don't think any woman could compare to you."
Admittedly, I melted in his arms, but I wasn't sure what he meant by the fact that 'she'll make him want me all the more.' Though, I didn't question him on it, especially since I was flustered by the fact his parents saw everything that had just gone down in the past few moments, and I wouldn't give them more of a chance to witness anything else. Mustering what courage (and willpower) I had left, I withdrew myself from Edward and looked toward Esme and Carlisle. Carlisle had a mixture of disbelief and satisfaction, which almost reminded me of Emmett's reaction to our relationship when we broke it down for him. Esme simply looked so proud and joyous, she was practically beaming at us, almost like Alice whenever she saw me with Edward. My cheeks reddened at their observing.
"Oh Bella, I think I'll take you up on that offer in setting up the table," she said, giving me a wide smile as she turned back into the dining room.
I gave Edward a quick glance, and he squeezed my hand in response. "Of course, Mrs. Cullen," I said, walking into the dining room where she was standing over the table.
"What's this 'Mrs. Cullen' business? You know it's Esme, dear," she said amiably as she rearranged the small vase of flowers at the center of the table. Even with the slight adjustment, the table felt different; she was truly good at designing. I made a mental note to introduce her to Alice, since I was sure they'd get along easily. It was then that I realized the table had been already set for all four of us.
"Of course." I asked, noticing something, "...Esme?"
"Yes, dear?" she glanced at me with a smile.
"Err, we're not having more guests, are we?" I asked, gesturing at the table, with all its fine china and perfect presentation. Obviously, there was no need for my help; the job had already been done.
"Ah, no," she smiled again with a slight shake of her head. She sat down at the head of the table, which didn't have anything set in front of it, and she gestured to the seat next to it. I took the seat, and almost jumped back up when she tenderly held my hand. I wasn't expecting that. "Bella... Thank you."
If I wasn't expecting her to hold my hand, I certainly wasn't expecting this. I only blinked as I looked at her. The laugh lines at the side of her mouth were now more pronounced, but I thought it made her look more natural, adding to her beauty. Obviously, these good genes had passed onto Edward. I suddenly felt inadequate, so why was she thanking me?
"I'm sorry?" I replied shakily, with a lack of a better response. I mentally berated myself for this.
She only chuckled. "Bella, I don't think you understand the change you've brought in Edward. These last few years, he's just been so... detached. Emmett told me on more than one occasion that he'd physically deny a woman. I raised Edward to be a gentleman, but who am I to say that he should deny having fun? Then I hear of you two finally being together, and the immediate attraction, and I just felt so... relieved. My baby found himself a girl who he'd want to be with long-term. And it's very apparent that the both of you are serious about each other, especially given the events that just happened in the parlor. Now, I don't know the full story, but I know enough to say that you've changed him ever since you first met."
I knew that if our relationship were any less intense, then this conversation with his mom would have scared me off. But of course, I found everything she said to be true to heart, and my chest burst. It was amazing how much she could determine all this without knowing "the full story"... and I wondered if she would still accept the truth when knowing that full story.
Was he really that affected because of my leave for college? I mean, I had heard everyone tell me that before getting together, he wasn't having any luck in the romance (or sex) department, but hearing it from his mother gave it a whole new connotation. While I still felt the slight glee from knowing that he liked me so much that he couldn't find another, it pained me now. Everyone, and I mean everyone who knew him, commented about how he was so apathetic to women, and it just hit me as to what extent it meant for him. Did I really affect him that much?
I'm not saying he didn't affect me just as every bit as they claimed I him. On the contrary, the last few years were sort of a test as to how I can have men knowing they wouldn't be my Mr. Cullen. My freshman year of college was full of dates galore, especially after meeting Alice, and I used those dates as a way to try and forget Edward. Unfortunately, he was in my thoughts every time, as I'd make subtle comparisons. Men just didn't seem like men if they didn't have the same qualities as his. And that was because I loved him.
Esme must have seen my small epiphany in my expression somehow. She placed her hand on mine once more, and gave me that same small smile. With a brow raised, she continued, "Now, Bella, I know I have just met you, but after hearing about you so much from Edward, and the stories from the doctors at the hospital, I feel like I know you already... And especially with that love you two have for each other, I know you're the right one for my son."
I bit my lip; it was all I could do to stop tears from overflowing. Oops, there goes one. I laughed, finding it ridiculous that I had been so worried before, and of course also finding it ridiculous that I was crying. "Thank you, Esme."
"No, no, I'm the one thanking you," she said, taking her hand from my hand to wipe the single tear off my cheek. Motherly comfort.
"No, Esme, I have to thank you," I took in a breath. "You brought Edward to this world; it's a much better world with him in it. Even for just that, you have all my gratitude. But you also raised him and helped him and helped me. I'm so glad you support us, because I've been so worried about it all."
"I hope you were not talking about your age difference," she teased, "because, you know, Carlisle's seventeen years older than me. And you're only six years separate from each other." She giggled.
"Wow, seventeen years?" I said, smiling. She reminded me of Renee in this moment; not only because Renee's own wide age difference with Phil, but because her presence was so soothing. I missed this comfort. "And, no, that wasn't all that I was talking about, Esme. I was taking other factors into account." My worry should not go away just yet; Edward and I hadn't told her yet about high school.
Esme's eyes softened still. "There's little that you two would have to have done for me to disapprove. Edward cares for you so much, I doubt that anything you say would make me feel any less grateful to you for that." Her eyes lingered over to the doorway, where we could see Carlisle and Edward in the parlor.
Edward and Carlisle were in a deep conversation; it looked just as connecting as the one with Esme and I had were having. Edward looked at Carlisle, who was just at eye level with him, with such reverence, it made me envision Edward as a child looking up at his father awed. Suddenly, as Carlisle's mouth moved quickly, Edward's face flushed. I wondered what on earth they could be talking about that would make Edward blush.
"I guess it's time to save Edward from his father," Esme observed, laughingly. I couldn't help but laugh with her. It certainly did look as if Edward needed saving. She stood up and I followed her into the room, where she said, "Boys, it's time for dinner."
Both of them nodded, and Carlisle patted Edward on the back, saying, "Remember what I said, Edward." Edward only gave a short nod.
I gave him a questioning look, to which he only shrugged at. Hm... I wonder what that could mean. Although, I dropped it immediately, knowing I was making a big deal of nothing. Often times that was what happened. Case in point: this dinner. Already, the relaxing aura was palpable in the room, and though I subconsciously worried over what they would say when we told the truth, I felt as if I couldn't be any more relaxed than now.
We started dinner with no qualms whatsoever, not that I expected any at this point. Though, it felt like it was going too smoothly. Everything about this dinner screamed proper, prim, and, to me, unnatural. Yes, conversation flowed nicely; yes, I still felt at complete ease; and yes, I almost didn't care that Edward strategically put his hand on my thigh to what I was sure simply to turn me on. (I tried to ignore that fact.) However, despite this all, I felt like I was being put on a show. Edward was to the left of me, and I was directly across from Esme, who was on Carlisle's left. The plates matched, the utensils in a proper, full set. Every line was perfectly PC and not a single word was out of line. The only thing missing was the "Kiss the Cook" apron and the pearl necklace Esme was supposed to wear.
I wouldn't be surprised if she had worn either of these in the past dinners. The sort of thing just seemed customary to have in this household. Yet, I knew better than to judge a book by its cover (and not to mention, I learned a lot about Carlisle and Esme throughout our conversations). While this persona did seem prim, proper, and pretentious, the little things spoke in volumes. As I thought, she didn't wear her pearls, or an apron, or anything of the sort, because I knew Esme preferred simple, much like I did. The simpler, the better, and honestly, in a simple white dress, she spoke volumes. Then there was the way either Carlisle or Esme would lean in -- elbows crossed on the table and all -- whenever conversation would pick up. And then there would be this look in either Esme's or Carlisle's eyes; a fiery recognition. Recognition of what, I didn't know.
"Oh goodness! Here we are talking, and the food isn't even out yet," Esme exclaimed. "If you'll excuse me."
"I could help!" I said, just a tad too loudly in my ears, as I started to get up.
"No, no, I could handle it," Esme said, already by the kitchen entrance.
I sat back down, but as I did, Carlisle excused himself, and followed Esme into the kitchen. Now it was only Edward and I, with his hand on my thigh, and my mind reeling. His thumb was tracing light circles, and I had pointedly looked at him so that he could stop. He did stop his ministrations, but he didn't lift a finger.
"So..." he began impassively. "What did you and Esme talk about?"
"Oh, really nothing unexpected," I said, trying to pull off the same cool air he had about him. "I should be asking you what had you so worked up between you and Carlisle."
He quirked a brow. "I should've known you caught that." I pressed him for the answer. "Sorry, you'll have to think of something up yourself, Bella. You didn't even tell me what you and Mom were talking about." I rolled my eyes at him. Of course it'd be for a bargain; I should've seen that coming. Still, I wanted to keep the conversation between Esme and I as close and personal as possible, so I kept my mouth shut. Of course, that meant Edward would keep his closed as well. Oh well, it's not like I would let it get to me.
Suddenly his fingers started moving again, and I felt a fire erupting from where his hand made contact with my thigh. I shot him that same look I gave him earlier to stop, but he didn't lighten up. In fact, it only spurred him to move further up my thigh. Soon I knew my admonishing look became a disbelieving, panicked one. His eyes were half-lidded and his mouth was hanging slightly open. He couldn't be serious? ...Could he?
"Edward," I sharply whispered to him. "Your parents are coming back any second now."
His face turned serious, and I had a feeling it wasn't because his parents were only in the next room. The familiar passion I saw whenever he was aroused was still there, but it was overlooked by such a powerful other look. I felt captivated by his gaze. It seemed I had been getting lost in his eyes lately, and this was no different from any other time. His green eyes... his perfect lips...
And just as we leaned in a bit further, his parents sauntered back into the room. In that instant, we separated until we were at an acceptable space apart. Esme and Carlisle both had plates in their hands, and I immediately rose to help them out. We all got the food ready, and it wasn't long until we all had started eating.
I decided to look at them from an outsider's point of view instead of acting as part of the conversation, like I did earlier. Somehow, this was a lot different from when we were talking. Maybe the presence of food loosened up Esme and Carlisle, but it didn't seem so "prim and proper." I didn't feel uncomfortable. It felt like a family. But, for that very reason, I couldn't help but feel separated from them. Never had I had a real Thanksgiving dinner with a full family, since I'd always have to decided whether or not I wanted to be with Renee and her crazy friends or with Charlie and his still, quiet home. This was a whole different brand of family to me.
Yet, I felt completely at ease... as if they were my family.
They'll sure make great in-laws. My face flushed at the thought. I shouldn't be thinking about these things... Edward and I, we were only still at the beginning of our relationship. I hadn't even confessed my love for him! I didn't even know what he fully thought of our relationship and to what extent his feelings were.
"Love, why is your face so red?" I felt his lips brush against the shell of my ear. At that comment, my face naturally reddened even more. We were still in front of his parents.
"I just... realized how close you guys are," I admitted, biting my lip.
Then, his voice dropped, as his lips grazed my ears again. "You know, it wouldn't be hard at all for you to become part of this family..." My heart raced at his implication.
"Oh, you two are so cute together," Esme quipped, after observing us. "It's like you two were made for each other."
We glanced at each other. For some reason, this felt like the right moment to tell his parents about our relationship. Edward held my hand and squeezed it reassuringly. This was the moment of truth for us.
"Actually, we have something to tell you," Edward began slowly. Carlisle and Esme seemed to sit up straighter, expectant about what we were going to tell them. Edward took in a breath. "I'm not exactly sure how I should tell you this, but Bella and I... we didn't exactly start off on the right foot..."
Carlisle smirked and chuckled. "What? You were too hard on her? Or she hated your guts?" But then, his whole demeanor changed to something much more serious. "Jus what exactly are you talking about, Edward?" Carlisle's voice was stern, but cool. "What did you do? ...Are you married? You didn't get an abortion, did you?"
"No," Edward said quickly and calmly, but his hand squeezed mine infinitesimally. "It's not that... it was more of how we got together..."
"Oh my God, did you guys have sex when you were her teacher, Edward?" In contrast to Carlisle, Esme's voice was sharp and slightly hysterical.
"No!" Edward quickly rebutted. "It's not that, we--wait. What did you just ask?"
Esme blinked. "If you two had sex while she was under your teaching..."
In that moment, several things happened. Edward's hand dropped from mine, as I sat frozen. My mouth hung agape, no doubt making me look like an awkward fish, yet Esme looked as gorgeous and unaware as ever. I heard Edward give a chortle, and soon it burst into loud guffaw of laughter. He kept laughing as I just sat there silent and shocked. Esme may have looked a little confused about our reactions, but Carlisle seemed to know what we were so reactive about, since he now had an amused smirk. It reminded me of Edward's crooked smile.
It had never occurred to either Edward or I that his parents would have found out on their own, or would have known all this time that I had known him for a few years now, from when he lived in Forks. On one hand, it should have been obvious: this was a small town, I was a frequent visitor to the Forks hospital, Esme was a feisty spy. But on the other, there was no hint from either of his parents about knowing. However, it could have been the fact that the idea just seemed so impossible to us that we may have overlooked any hints; we wouldn't have believed anything unless they outright admitted that they knew, kind of like now.
"I don't understand why you're laughing, Edward," Esme said delicately.
Edward's laughter died down, and my body finally had unfrozen itself so that I could look at him. Once we made eye contact, his amused expression was toned down, and was being replaced by a more solemn look. He grabbed my hand once more, and we turned to his parents.
"We didn't expect you to know," Edward slowly started, similar to when he started to break the news earlier. "It's just ironic to me that you guys would know that I was her teacher, when we were so worried that you'd freak out when you'd find out."
Esme's brows furrowed. "You thought we were going to freak out? Why would we do that?"
Edward's amused expression came back as he eyed me. "We just had our worries about telling parents... Other than the whole meeting parents thing." He was making fun of my worries, I know, but he hadn't met my father yet, and that was something else in itself. The thought made me realize something.
"Oh God, do you know if my father knows?" My voice was panicky.
"Chief Swan?" Carlisle looked up in thought at the area above my head. "Well, neither Esme nor I have seen him since you two have been together, so we didn't say anything to him, but it could be very well that he's found out or put two and two together, like we have." My face paled, and Carlisle took notice. He rebutted, "But it's possible that he hadn't either."
I gave a short nod in Carlisle's direction, but I just stared at the food in front of me. I don't know what I'd do if Charlie found out already, and he was just waiting for us to arrive tomorrow just so that he could shoot Edward off our porch. The scene played in my mind perfectly: After I greet Edward at his car, us walking up the stairs hand in hand, and Charlie comes out with his favorite rifle in hand, yelling "You think you can take advantage of your students?" just before he shoots Edward clear in the knee cap. I was horrified; I felt sick.
"Bella, dear, are you okay?" Esme said comfortingly, reaching across the table to hold my hand.
"I... I'll be fine," I said, looking up at her, all while trying to hide my inner turmoil. "I'm just nervous about seeing my dad tomorrow is all."
She gave me a sympathetic smile. "Well, no matter what happens, I know you two will pull through."
I looked at Edward, and said, without looking back at Esme, "I know."
Rating: Definitely MATURE; this is GRAPHIC
Pairings: Canon
Comments: This had taken so long to write, really. Maybe because this is so long... But also, 'cause I had writer's block, which sucks, especially when wanting to get something out really quickly. My patience was starting to run so low with this, and it certainly affected the quality. I'm very sorry for that.... Not to mention, this is the UNEDITED version. Read at your own risk.
Continue to the rest of Chapter 3
There's something to be said about the way someone acts in a long car ride. There's the person who constantly has to change the music, or the person who obsesses over the directions... The one who insists on play cheesy or crazy games - Emmett. The one who tries to get everyone to talk, no matter what the subject - Alice. The impatient, bitter person asking every twenty seconds "when we'd get there" - Rosalie. Or the person who'd rather sleep than have to deal with the conflicting emotions and personalities in the car - Jasper.
Then there's Edward, who, throughout the car ride, will try to seduce you in any way, shape, or form. And it works. Of course, he was probably doing that just to calm my nerves, or distract me. And that works too, if it weren't for the fact that I keep thinking someone will find out, and by someone, I mean his parents. It's the day that we've - I've - been dreading: Thanksgiving. Or, the day before Thanksgiving.
We planned to see my father tomorrow for Thanksgiving breakfast, then go to Edward's parents for Thanksgiving dinner. It'd be the first time he'd meet my father as my boyfriend. The last time he had met him, I was graduating from high school, and Edward was telling my father how great of a student and a friend I was to him. I cringed, worrying about my father meeting him face to face. I hadn't exactly told him that the Edward Cullen he was going to meet was the same Mr. Cullen I'd talk about after school.
Edward was well aware of this as well, but he was convinced that everything will be just fine. While I knew he had an uncanny sense of reading people, I was more than a little worried about this particular instance. This was my father, Chief of Forks Police, owner of a good amount of firearms in his home, overprotective dad extraordinaire, that we are talking about here. The only boy he ever really was okay with me to date was Jacob, and that was, well... not as pleasant as I had hoped it to be.
Yet again, I cringed during the car ride, which I was pretty sure Edward noticed, but he probably figured it was because I was too nervous about meeting his parents and him meeting my father - which I was - as opposed to thinking about Jacob. I remembered when I told Edward about Jacob about a month ago during Halloween.
We were passing out candy to the little children in the hospital he would usually be at, (he wasn't a resident yet, but he volunteered there so often he was considered an employee anyway) when a small child in a Native American costume came up. I started laughing about a joke that Jacob said about people dressing up as "clichéd Natives, who would be better off as joining the Village People." Obviously curious, Edward asked why I was laughing so hard and I relayed the joke, when he noticed the somber tone in my voice. And he got jealous.
It was almost cute, his jealousy, were it not for his irrationality. He didn't talk to me the whole night, which gave the nurses headway into flirting with him. In my presence. I grew irrationally jealous, and not to mention hurt, so I walked out. He chased me down to my apartment, and when we opened the door with his spare key, he found me laying on my couch half naked and crying. It was a good thing Alice was at Jasper's, because I had quite the emotional break down that night. He got around to telling me about those women, who could never measure up to me in his eyes, and I got around to telling him about Jacob.
Jacob had been my best friend every time I was in Forks, ever since I was a little girl. I had always preferred to hang out with him than his sisters, who were at times too girly for me. Then I moved to Forks in junior year, and we had become full blown best friends, BFF status, which made Charlie a happy, happy man. After all, our fathers were best friends as well, so it was natural the children should be too. However, "friends" wasn't all Charlie and Billy had in mind. It seemed the two of them had plans for us to be involved romantically as well.
Hence why, in my senior year, Charlie practically forced a date on me with Jacob. Needless to say, that did not end well, and Edward even remembered my sour mood afterward at school. Only, he thought it was because Jacob didn't return my "feelings". I even remembered trying to clear the fact up that I certainly had no feelings whatsoever for my best friend. Fast forward a couple years later, my sophomore year of college, while Jacob was a freshman at Washington State. Jacob said he missed me, and a few too many drinks later, we were making out on Alice's favorite piece of furniture, and confessing so many stupid apologies. ...We tried to make it work for however many months, really we did, but it was like pulling teeth. So when he met Nessie, I didn't say anything to keep him. I didn't need to. They're still going on strong.
The only thing I really missed of him now was his friendly presence. I wanted a best friend. I had Alice, but Jacob offered something else: a man's point of view. Though, I guess Edward was my new best friend, especially in this man-friendship need, but it still wasn't the same. When I told Edward this, he immediately sympathized and felt bad about being irrationally envious... Though, I had to say, that was the best make up sex I've ever had.
Then again, any sex with Edward was the best I've had.
...But Charlie didn't need to know that. He needed a better, more valid reason to like Edward more than Jacob... or at least to the amount that he liked him at. Having sexy car time on the way to seeing Charlie before Thanksgiving didn't exactly help much. If you added that to the fact that he was my teacher, well, you have a recipe for a complete and total disaster.
Though, it wasn't only Charlie I was worried about. I was going to be meeting Edward's parents too. We were going to eat Thanksgiving dinner with them, but I was going to meet them tonight, since Esme insisted. Knowing Esme (or, technically not knowing her, only knowing of her), she was probably absolutely thrilled at the idea that Edward had a real girlfriend, which I heard was very rare nowadays.
However, Edward didn't tell either of his parents as well that I had been his student. Although, I had a sneaking suspicion that they'd take it a lot better than Charlie would; well, Esme would at least. Carlisle, who I've heard was the most understanding and rational man, would also be accepting, but I was afraid that his rational side would give out and make him disapprove.
The fact that I would be meeting my boyfriend's parents made me anxious; the fact that I would be meeting my-boyfriend-AKA-my-teacher's parents made me downright paranoid. Edward insisted that everything would be alright, but I knew better. How would any parent think so calmly about their child dating someone who knew them in less than ideal conditions? ...Though, I really shouldn't be saying that, since Renee would take one look at Edward and say he's good enough for me. She wasn't shallow, she just believed in extreme attraction... which I had for him... greatly...
In fact, looking at him with his eyes smoldering every time he'd glance off the road at me made me squirm, in need of some sort of relief... Who knew he was such a... fiend in these long car rides? Then again, I must have been just as bad if I was thinking the same thing. I fought to control myself. I'm so distracted by this that I almost forget that I'm about to meet his parents.
"Just calm down, Bella," he said, using that voice that would give me a shiver just about every time. There was no way I was going to be calm at this rate. His actions were doing just the opposite. Of course, I had to let him know.
"You know, you're not helping," I said bitterly.
He simply laughed at my expense. My mood was growing more annoyed with every bit he widened his smile... his gorgeous... bright... smile... Goodness, I felt eighteen all over again, reveling over what I could take in of his features. "Hey, it worked, didn't it?"
I shook my head out of my slight reverie. What was he talking about? "Huh?"
He laughed harder now. Confused, I looked up at him questioningly, getting slightly lost in his features once more. He glanced away from the road, with that damn crooked smile of his. "I was talking about the fact that now you're too distracted to be so nervous."
In an instant, a scowl reached my face. I was doing so well too on not focusing on the fact that we were meeting his parents soon... Okay, okay, he was the one to distract me, but his ego was already too inflated and I had too much pride to let him know that. I turned up the volume of the classical playlist of his iPod and pointedly ignored him. I guess now was the time to wallow and dread what was to come. Say goodbye to good standing with Charlie, Bella, and say goodbye to a chance with Edward after his parents meet you. I was staring out of the window thinking sulkily about the different scenarios Edward was going to realize his parents' lack of approval would trigger the wrongness he felt in our relationship, when I felt his hand at my thigh.
I immediately looked up in his direction, looking all around us while averting his gaze. We were parked at a pit stop; for looking out of the windows so much, I didn't have enough perception to notice we had actually stopped. The idea that he wouldn't have enough faith in our relationship was more pressing than where we were at. But did that mean I didn't have faith in our relationship, if I were questioning the bond we had? It certainly felt that way... After all, my feelings were very clear to me, but his, though reassuringly stable, couldn't be nearly as strong as the ones I felt.
After just a week of dating Edward, I knew I was in love with him.
In fact, I must have been in love with him since I was in high school. Sure, it seemed like a harmless teacher crush, but every time I looked back to that time, my emotions felt much higher than any petty high school "love". I could blame it on the hormones, but those feelings were still here today. The swelling of my chest, the increase in my heart beat, the pure joy that I had... all came at just the mere mention of him. These emotions were definitely there even when I was away from him, and I was so obvious about it. Alice would try to set me up with student-teachers just to get my reaction; she was horribly cruel at the time. One time she even set me up with an actual teacher and I almost had a heart attack. Needless to say, I had a thing for teachers in college. Hell, I had a thing for teachers now... or was it doctors?
In any case, letting these feelings build up when I was in high school meant that this... love... was so much more stronger than any feelings he could have for me. As much as I loved him, I had let myself begin to love him since school, whereas he only started thinking of getting to be with me romantically only a couple months ago. I felt myself frown as I thought about how he thought of our relationship and where it was going.
"Bella? What could possibly have you looking so worried and nervous?" he said softly, circling his thumb on my thigh. "I just wish I could hear what's going on through your mind... 'cause I have a feeling it's not just about meeting our parents..."
"Really, I was just thinking; it's nothing to worry about." This time I avoided his eyes, attempting to look outside the window once more...
"But I want to know what you're thinking about," his voice pleaded with me, as if this was the most important thing in the world to him right now. I was doubting that fact very much.
Slowly, I brought my eyes back to his, and what I found in his face shocked me. I knew he was pleading with me through the shaky tenor in his voice, but what I didn't expect was this hurt and, yet, curious expression. I almost had to laugh; he reminded me so much of a lost puppy. (Gosh, what was up with me and dogs? First the wolfish Jacob Black, then Mike Newton the golden retriever, and now Mr. Cullen.) With that face, I couldn't help but give in to his pleading...
"Well, mostly my thoughts have been about tonight and tomorrow," I started slowly, but I knew my words were going to come out rushed now, and before I could stop them, they were flying out of my mouth. "Obviously I'm jittery about what our parents will think of us, especially my father... I just know how he is. Then there are your parents, who I've heard so much about, but they most certainly couldn't have heard as much as I've heard about them. It's bound to be awkward, and they'll probably be disapproving and very disappointed in you. I know we've gone over this, and you think I'm overreacting, but I feel like it's all going to blow up on us, and you're going to give up on us... on me...
"And I don't know how I can handle that," my voice was starting to become shaky. "Sometimes I just can't help myself when I'm around you, not just sexually, but... emotionally. Emotionally, I want to give up, but I'm so supercharged, and these feelings just go haywire. Edward, I can't stop myself from this, so if you're to leave me, I don't know what will become of me... but I know that I'll be emotionally drained." Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, unsure of how to continue, if I should continue. I had already said too much; I almost slipped up about confessing my love for him.
My eyes propped open when I felt Edward's hand on my cheek. He held me so gently and tenderly, I could almost feel as much feeling in his touch as I had pouring out of me. His eyes looked just as soft as the hair on his head, and my heart melted.
"Bella, I don't want you thinking I'll be leaving you any time soon, if ever," my heart skipped a beat, "This isn't at all a relationship based on sex, but didn't I tell you before how no other girl could compare to you? I simply cannot see myself separated from you, despite what our parents would say. And... I didn't want to do this in the parking lot of a pit stop, but, Bella, I have to tell you that I am madly--"
A truck drove by and honked at us. The truck driver made kissing faces and his passenger gave cat calls. My face flushed at the attention we were getting as I realized the sort of scene we were making; my face was inches from his while both of his hands were on me. I thought at how much the idea of off-road sex would be much more ideal than going at it in the car at a pit stop would be. At least off-road you're given a little more privacy... But why on earth was I thinking this in the first place?
My attention was brought back to Edward, and I was surprised to find his expression very agitated now. Suddenly, I felt as if I did something wrong, though I'm not sure what. Then I thought back to the truck driver; maybe he interrupted Edward's apologetic groove? I thought Edward was doing a mighty fine job at reassuring me, and already the thought of our relationship weakening was out of my mind. It was only a moment of panic on my part.
"Oh Edward, I'm sorry about my overreaction..." I said apologetically. He looked as if he was about to speak again, and I didn't want him to feel like he had to keep reassuring me, so I gave him a peck on the lips. "It's okay; I know how many times we've had this conversation before this trip, and I don't want to subject you to another one." I winked at him to lighten the mood. "Let me just go to the vending machine to grab a snack, then we'll go, unless you want to do something else here?"
His expression, initially let down at my interruption, turned devilish as he squeezed my thigh. "I could think of a few things I'd rather do right now."
My eyes widened. Did he not just hear the honking and the teasing of the truck drivers? I voiced my thoughts to him, to which he laughed at. His hand was still squeezing my thigh, but he only apologetically gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. I watched him hurry over to the restroom, unsure as to whether I should feel grateful or disgruntled. There sure had to be a fine line between those two, especially in this case.
I just knew that Edward was sincere. He was sincere with his reassurances, and most definitely sincere with the hints at something naughty, and sincere in his apologies. My heart swelled inside of me, and I wanted nothing more than to just scream at the top of my lungs my declarations of love... though, I doubt that would go very well with him. This would go from the happiest and most comfortable relationship I've ever had to a complete dud...
Shaking off my over-thinking, I got out of the car to the vending machine. Not long afterwards, I was in the car with Edward, and we were driving off out of the pit stop. Of course, we got a lovely reminder as to what we were about to do when the truck drivers honked at us again. I felt myself blush at their implications, but other than that, I couldn't find myself caring about it anymore.
Forks loomed in closer ahead. I tried not think about what getting closer would entail, but I couldn't help but think about the fact that I was meeting his parents very, very soon. Seeming to sense my returning anxiety, Edward gingerly picked up my hand and gave it a slight squeeze. He glanced at me and gave me his most beautiful crooked grin. No matter what, I knew we'd make it through. I would keep our relationship continuing, despite what anyone says. I knew this, because he was willing to do the same for us.
The streets began to ring bells in my brain, and I knew we were in Forks now. A wave of nostalgia hit me, just as it did every time I came back here. I felt regret when I realized it had been nearly a year since I was here to visit Charlie, on Christmas. In fact, I only went here for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Being with Edward made me realize that I should visit more often; he saw his parents nearly every month. Then again, he was always a bit of a Momma's Boy. But I was supposed to be a Daddy's Girl... yet it definitely didn't seem that way anymore.
Edward squeezing my hand brought me back to the present. We were on the highway, and Forks High School passed on by. I let out a sigh as I took it in. Would I ever have thought that I'd come back here, with Edward - Mr. Cullen - caressing my hand? Certainly not, but the thought made me grin.
"Brings back memories, huh?" he said, breaking the silence.
"Mmhm," I said, still staring at Forks High. It was going out of sight now, and I couldn't help but feel a sense of relief. The school always did make me feel trapped.
"We're almost to my house," he said.
I turned to him then. "Oh?"
"Yep, just gotta turn in here," he said lowly, taking a turn at one of the side streets. It was lined with trees and nearly deserted. I could hardly believe anyone would live so deep in the forest, and what exactly the house would be like there; my unasked question was answered as we pulled up to a gorgeous home, which could have easily cost more than every single thing I owned combined.
"Edward! You live here?" I was suddenly embarrassed for my apartment with Alice. While Alice liked nice things, we weren't exactly the most well off of girls, and most certainly our home wasn't nearly as... accommodated at this.
He stopped right in front of the porch that led right up to the front door, as opposed to going straight to the garage, which I knew he would have normally done. He always did so, yet here he was, opening my door, being a complete gentleman, but he always did that too. Except for when we're in bed. I wished my brain would stop it; thoughts like that were so distracting, and I was going to meet his parents.
It seemed Edward was also anxious, or eager, for this, because as soon as I was out of the car, his arm hooked with mine so that he could take me up the porch at his faster pace. My heart was pounding so fast; I could hear it in my ears. My palms were sweaty, which was embarrassing, since Edward had begun to hold my hand through our linked arms. Our arms were awkwardly positioned, but it felt nice to be twined with him, since a wave of reassurance crashed over me. It was another reminder to say we're together all the way through this no matter what.
And before we even got to knocking, or taking out any house keys, or whatever, the front door swung open and a woman came straight at Edward's body. She gave him a hug, before I could even register her even being there, and it felt uncomfortable, since our arms were still entwined.
I heard him say softly, "I missed you too, Mom." My heart burst at his compassion; it was obvious he really did miss her. I took the opportunity to observe him in a way I haven't before, and take in his mother for the first time. He looked at peace, with his mother in his arms. His eyes, closed, yet obviously filled with tenderness, were the most peaceful feature of his face. She looked just as peaceful. The two of them were so beautiful, it almost hurt.
After a moment, she broke off of him, and then quickly turned to give me a quick hug as Edward and I unlinked our arms. I tried to hide the surprise on my face. "Bella! I'm so glad to have finally met you. I'm sorry about that. I just haven't seen my boy since September, but I'm not complaining." She winked at me, and I blushed instinctively.
"It's nice to meet you too, Esme; I've heard so much about you. I'm sorry for keeping Edward for so long... I didn't know he hadn't visited you at all." In retrospect, I should have known, since he spent most of his time with me anyway. Immediately I felt guilty for keeping him all to myself; I was being selfish about it.
"Hush, Bella, I told you I wasn't complaining," she said brightly, hooking an arm to mine. We started walking into the house, leaving Edward on the porch. "It's about time that boy did something about that bad luck with... his, ah, dull lifestyle. I trust you are keeping him well entertained?"
I had to blush again, wondering if she made the innuendo on purpose. It was so odd to be having this conversation with my boyfriend's mother, especially considering it was our first conversation ever, but I guess I should have expected this from Esme, from all that I had heard about her. In my moment of realization, I mustered up all the courage I had to lean in and say, "Don't worry, there's nothing for him to be bored of."
She threw her head back and laughed. My blush came back, now in a more subtle shade, but I laughed with her anyway. This felt nice... Much different from my preconceived notions of her and our first meeting. She seemed every bit as motherly as Edward had always said, but she was also so easy to talk to and likeable. The worry I had had in the car was long gone, and replaced with content.
"Hey! Don't think I can't hear you," Edward piped up from directly behind us.
"Quiet, Edward, can't you see I'm having a bonding moment with your delightful girlfriend here?" she admonished him on the spot without even taking a look back at him. I couldn't help but glance over to him, and I noticed the defeated look on his face. I held back my laughter.
Still hooked onto Esme's arm, I wasn't exactly sure where I was being taken, but I let her lead us. We were soon in a living room area, where a large television I knew Emmett would appreciate, a classy three-piece suede couch Alice would appreciate, and a piano, that I knew Edward appreciated, were strategically placed to create a sense of a complete room without making it seem busy. I was rather impressed by the way everything was laid out as I remembered hearing that Esme had dabbled in interior design; she surely laid out the composition of their home.
"Your house is absolutely beautiful, Esme, you did a great job with the design," I said, in almost an embarrassing tone of awe.
She let out a light laugh again, the sound reminding me of the tinkling giggles of Alice. "Why, Bella, you seem to know how to charm a lady. Well, if you're trying to win the heart of the boyfriend's mother, you've accomplished it."
Her comment made me grin. It felt so good to have this approval. After all that had happened with Rosalie last month, I was anxious about what people thought about Edward and I. Rosalie, my mind rang in sadness. My heart sank when I remembered her initial reaction. She was perturbed by Edward being older than I was, but even more so with the fact that he had been my teacher. Though she got over it after a few days, she had kept the lingering disapproval that had finally exploded last month just before Halloween. Halloween had been interesting enough already; I don't think I needed to make it worse. Now that was one event I didn't want to think about, especially now that everything was alright.
"Edward," Esme said, which brought me out of my thoughts. "Why don't you play for Bella on your old piano while I go set up for dinner? I'm sure she'd like that."
"Oh! It's okay, Esme, I'd love to help out," I said quickly. "Edward doesn't need to play for me. He's actually played for me before." I chanced a glance over to him, which I knew would be dangerous territory. My face burned up at the sight of him, and his mirrored my own. The last time Edward played for me, we ended up making a mess of our clothes and in sound; the keys of a piano are beautiful when played, but there can be such a clashing noise when simply banging on it. I'd be horrified if Esme found out what we would do to his original piano if we'd go through with that again.
"Nonsense, Bella, I'm fine setting things up," she said, in a similar tone to what she used before with Edward. "And let him play; this was his first piano, and I'm sure he'd love to play regardless. Who knows how long it's been since he's played for you like this? Besides, I think Carlisle will be coming down soon; he's been dying to meet you."
With that, she left us in the living area, while Edward made his way over to the piano. He seemed right at home in front of that baby grand, and I was in awe of him. Not only had it hit me that his first piano was a baby grand (and an expensive looking one at that), but it was so evident that he was just at ease in front of it. This was much different from the upright he had at his home, and this one seemed to fit him more. Suddenly, he started to play.
Instinctively, I smiled; of course, I knew he would play something he had fun with. I recognized the tune of Rage Over a Lost Penny, something he was comfortable with. Of course, it was difficult, but his skill level knew no bounds. When the song was done, I made my way over to the piano bench and sat next to him. He didn't look over to me, but I felt him slightly scoot over so that his entire right side was touching my left. The energy charged between us as we connected. Bringing his fingers to the keys once more, he started the next piece. Both of us had slowly closed our eyes when letting the music flow. Edward must have been in a Beethoven mood, knowing right from the beginning this was Pathetique. I felt like such a classical smart-ass; I guess that came with being around Edward so much.
I opened my eyes, as I tried not think of him being around Edward so much, since he was so close to me, or of the fact that his limber fingers were all over the place when the tune got heated, but I couldn't help myself. I nearly lost it when the song began to slow down again, feeling the wave of passionate emotion; all kinds of feelings were expressed in this piece, which I wasn't sure what that could have meant, but I didn't think I should look into it. When the tune began to take on a happier note, he grinned, not exactly at me, but for me.
He finished the tune early, but I knew he left it at that calm part for a reason. We both closed our eyes once more, in a similar slow fashion to when we started, but the sound of light clapping brought us out of it immediately. We turned to the source, and in the doorway was probably one of the most handsome men I had ever come across. My face heated up, taking in his features. This man was almost golden, with his golden eyes, and golden hair, and golden skin that seemed to shimmer. He was tall and slightly lanky, and had a chiseled jaw exactly like Edward's. I knew immediately. Carlisle.
"Edward, it's good to hear you play again; I've missed it," Carlisle said, grinning at his son. I tried to stop my betraying thoughts; Edward was right next to me, for goodness's sake! It certainly wouldn't look good if I lusted after my love's father right next to said love. "And I get to finally meet the infamous Bella Swan."
"Infamous?" I squeaked, as I stood up to shake hands with him.
Carlisle chuckled, his laughter rippling all the way to his fingers touching mine. "You have quite the reputation at the hospital, even from your first day in Forks. I'm surprised I haven't met you yet, considering your history in the Emergency Room."
"Well maybe you'll get lucky soon," I replied, almost cheekily. I couldn't help but think inappropriate thoughts about what I had just said. Remember, Bella, Edward's still next to you! I wanted to tell my subconscious to shut up.
"I most certainly hope not," Edward interjected brusquely from beside me. We locked eyes for a moment, and he raised his brow at me, as if he knew what I was thinking. If I let myself believe it, he almost looked jealous. I swooned a little on the inside at the sight of his aggressive expression; this was my Cullen. Carlisle was already gone from my mind.
"Oh, Edward," Esme called, coming into the room now. "I just wanted to let you know that your cousins are coming in from Denali for Thanksgiving tomorrow."
Edward groaned, and I couldn't help but wonder what that was about. "How come no one informed me of this? How long are they staying? ...Oh no. Is Tanya coming too?"
"Edward! They're family, including Tanya; it's a given that they would come," Esme said sternly. "They're welcome to stay as long as they would like, since we weren't given a time period, but I'm pretty sure they're staying for only Thanksgiving night and leaving the day after."
The name Tanya rang a bell in my head. I recognized Tanya as Edward's first relationship. I furrowed my brow, and blurted out, "Tanya? As in your ex-girlfriend?"
"Yes." His voice was noncommittal.
"She's... your cousin?" My brow furrowed even more.
"Um... no, but she is my 'cousin'," he paused, and probably from looking at my confused expression, he continued to explain. "Our relatives in Alaska aren't our relatives; just close friends. But it's weird to call them that since I grew up with them and have grown to call them cousins. Tanya just so happens to be part of that family. When they lived here, she was the only girl I could really tolerate, and it just felt comfortable to have a relationship with her. It was a matter of convenience."
"Oh," was all I could say, because there wasn't anything to say. The fact that they weren't really related made me feel a lot better though, because then that'd make Edward the king of awkward relationships: a relationship with a student of his, and a relationship with his pseudo-cousin. But she was his past, regardless. And now she was coming here tomorrow. I felt sick.
"Bella? I hope that you're not upset about it, she really isn't my cousin," he said with a hint of a desperate tone. It made look up at him. He sounded so despondent that I wondered what on earth was going on in his mind. I immediately felt bad; I wasn't that put off by his dating his non-cousin... It was only the fact that I would have to meet her tomorrow that worried me.
I smiled at him. "Edward, don't worry so much about that, really. To tell the truth, I wasn't even thinking about that particular all that much."
He looked at me disbelievingly. His voice lowered, "Then why do you seem so troubled?"
"I..." I let my mouth hang as I stared up at him. "I just don't know how to handle meeting a person you, uh, had a relationship with."
For a moment he just blinked at me. I wasn't exactly sure what to expect out of him in response, but I certainly wasn't expecting the sudden laughter at what I had just said. He found that funny?
"Is that all?" he said with a bright smile.
"All?" I repeated, shocked. "She was your girlfriend Edward, and I'm going to meet her. I may not exactly follow the typical girl code, but I'm pretty sure that the ex is certainly supposed to be a bitch to the new girlfriend."
His laughter was much stronger now, and I could only blanch in response. "Luckily for you, Tanya doesn't follow girl code either. Trust me on this one. I'm pretty sure she'd like you more than she liked me."
"What? What's that supposed to mean?" I still felt dispirited; he was only trying to console me.
"Hon, Tanya's out and proud," Esme interrupted. I almost forgot his parents were there, but I had no time to think about what that meant she had witnessed because I was still registering what she had just said.
I blinked, still trying to process it. "Tanya's... gay?"
"Yep," Edward continued. "She's had quite a few men in her lifetime, but there was a reason why she didn't feel for any of them."
"That's not a problem for you, dear, is it?" Esme asked tenderly, but the way she eyed me as she said it meant business.
"Oh, no! No, no problem at all," I assured her. "I'm actually a bit relieved."
"Relieved?" Edward asked me, lifting his brows.
"Yeah," I admitted, taking a glance at Esme and Carlisle, who were both now in the doorway with their eyes fixated on us. It was embarrassing enough to admit this in front of Edward, but in front of his parents as well? In my embarrassment, I barely pushed out my murmur, "I thought I was going to have to deal with some competition."
Edward's eyes softened as he pulled me in his arms. "Oh Bella, I thought we've gone over how much you mean to me." His grip tightened around me. "And don't worry, Tanya's definitely not 'competition'. If anything, she'll just make me want to have you all the more. I don't think any woman could compare to you."
Admittedly, I melted in his arms, but I wasn't sure what he meant by the fact that 'she'll make him want me all the more.' Though, I didn't question him on it, especially since I was flustered by the fact his parents saw everything that had just gone down in the past few moments, and I wouldn't give them more of a chance to witness anything else. Mustering what courage (and willpower) I had left, I withdrew myself from Edward and looked toward Esme and Carlisle. Carlisle had a mixture of disbelief and satisfaction, which almost reminded me of Emmett's reaction to our relationship when we broke it down for him. Esme simply looked so proud and joyous, she was practically beaming at us, almost like Alice whenever she saw me with Edward. My cheeks reddened at their observing.
"Oh Bella, I think I'll take you up on that offer in setting up the table," she said, giving me a wide smile as she turned back into the dining room.
I gave Edward a quick glance, and he squeezed my hand in response. "Of course, Mrs. Cullen," I said, walking into the dining room where she was standing over the table.
"What's this 'Mrs. Cullen' business? You know it's Esme, dear," she said amiably as she rearranged the small vase of flowers at the center of the table. Even with the slight adjustment, the table felt different; she was truly good at designing. I made a mental note to introduce her to Alice, since I was sure they'd get along easily. It was then that I realized the table had been already set for all four of us.
"Of course." I asked, noticing something, "...Esme?"
"Yes, dear?" she glanced at me with a smile.
"Err, we're not having more guests, are we?" I asked, gesturing at the table, with all its fine china and perfect presentation. Obviously, there was no need for my help; the job had already been done.
"Ah, no," she smiled again with a slight shake of her head. She sat down at the head of the table, which didn't have anything set in front of it, and she gestured to the seat next to it. I took the seat, and almost jumped back up when she tenderly held my hand. I wasn't expecting that. "Bella... Thank you."
If I wasn't expecting her to hold my hand, I certainly wasn't expecting this. I only blinked as I looked at her. The laugh lines at the side of her mouth were now more pronounced, but I thought it made her look more natural, adding to her beauty. Obviously, these good genes had passed onto Edward. I suddenly felt inadequate, so why was she thanking me?
"I'm sorry?" I replied shakily, with a lack of a better response. I mentally berated myself for this.
She only chuckled. "Bella, I don't think you understand the change you've brought in Edward. These last few years, he's just been so... detached. Emmett told me on more than one occasion that he'd physically deny a woman. I raised Edward to be a gentleman, but who am I to say that he should deny having fun? Then I hear of you two finally being together, and the immediate attraction, and I just felt so... relieved. My baby found himself a girl who he'd want to be with long-term. And it's very apparent that the both of you are serious about each other, especially given the events that just happened in the parlor. Now, I don't know the full story, but I know enough to say that you've changed him ever since you first met."
I knew that if our relationship were any less intense, then this conversation with his mom would have scared me off. But of course, I found everything she said to be true to heart, and my chest burst. It was amazing how much she could determine all this without knowing "the full story"... and I wondered if she would still accept the truth when knowing that full story.
Was he really that affected because of my leave for college? I mean, I had heard everyone tell me that before getting together, he wasn't having any luck in the romance (or sex) department, but hearing it from his mother gave it a whole new connotation. While I still felt the slight glee from knowing that he liked me so much that he couldn't find another, it pained me now. Everyone, and I mean everyone who knew him, commented about how he was so apathetic to women, and it just hit me as to what extent it meant for him. Did I really affect him that much?
I'm not saying he didn't affect me just as every bit as they claimed I him. On the contrary, the last few years were sort of a test as to how I can have men knowing they wouldn't be my Mr. Cullen. My freshman year of college was full of dates galore, especially after meeting Alice, and I used those dates as a way to try and forget Edward. Unfortunately, he was in my thoughts every time, as I'd make subtle comparisons. Men just didn't seem like men if they didn't have the same qualities as his. And that was because I loved him.
Esme must have seen my small epiphany in my expression somehow. She placed her hand on mine once more, and gave me that same small smile. With a brow raised, she continued, "Now, Bella, I know I have just met you, but after hearing about you so much from Edward, and the stories from the doctors at the hospital, I feel like I know you already... And especially with that love you two have for each other, I know you're the right one for my son."
I bit my lip; it was all I could do to stop tears from overflowing. Oops, there goes one. I laughed, finding it ridiculous that I had been so worried before, and of course also finding it ridiculous that I was crying. "Thank you, Esme."
"No, no, I'm the one thanking you," she said, taking her hand from my hand to wipe the single tear off my cheek. Motherly comfort.
"No, Esme, I have to thank you," I took in a breath. "You brought Edward to this world; it's a much better world with him in it. Even for just that, you have all my gratitude. But you also raised him and helped him and helped me. I'm so glad you support us, because I've been so worried about it all."
"I hope you were not talking about your age difference," she teased, "because, you know, Carlisle's seventeen years older than me. And you're only six years separate from each other." She giggled.
"Wow, seventeen years?" I said, smiling. She reminded me of Renee in this moment; not only because Renee's own wide age difference with Phil, but because her presence was so soothing. I missed this comfort. "And, no, that wasn't all that I was talking about, Esme. I was taking other factors into account." My worry should not go away just yet; Edward and I hadn't told her yet about high school.
Esme's eyes softened still. "There's little that you two would have to have done for me to disapprove. Edward cares for you so much, I doubt that anything you say would make me feel any less grateful to you for that." Her eyes lingered over to the doorway, where we could see Carlisle and Edward in the parlor.
Edward and Carlisle were in a deep conversation; it looked just as connecting as the one with Esme and I had were having. Edward looked at Carlisle, who was just at eye level with him, with such reverence, it made me envision Edward as a child looking up at his father awed. Suddenly, as Carlisle's mouth moved quickly, Edward's face flushed. I wondered what on earth they could be talking about that would make Edward blush.
"I guess it's time to save Edward from his father," Esme observed, laughingly. I couldn't help but laugh with her. It certainly did look as if Edward needed saving. She stood up and I followed her into the room, where she said, "Boys, it's time for dinner."
Both of them nodded, and Carlisle patted Edward on the back, saying, "Remember what I said, Edward." Edward only gave a short nod.
I gave him a questioning look, to which he only shrugged at. Hm... I wonder what that could mean. Although, I dropped it immediately, knowing I was making a big deal of nothing. Often times that was what happened. Case in point: this dinner. Already, the relaxing aura was palpable in the room, and though I subconsciously worried over what they would say when we told the truth, I felt as if I couldn't be any more relaxed than now.
We started dinner with no qualms whatsoever, not that I expected any at this point. Though, it felt like it was going too smoothly. Everything about this dinner screamed proper, prim, and, to me, unnatural. Yes, conversation flowed nicely; yes, I still felt at complete ease; and yes, I almost didn't care that Edward strategically put his hand on my thigh to what I was sure simply to turn me on. (I tried to ignore that fact.) However, despite this all, I felt like I was being put on a show. Edward was to the left of me, and I was directly across from Esme, who was on Carlisle's left. The plates matched, the utensils in a proper, full set. Every line was perfectly PC and not a single word was out of line. The only thing missing was the "Kiss the Cook" apron and the pearl necklace Esme was supposed to wear.
I wouldn't be surprised if she had worn either of these in the past dinners. The sort of thing just seemed customary to have in this household. Yet, I knew better than to judge a book by its cover (and not to mention, I learned a lot about Carlisle and Esme throughout our conversations). While this persona did seem prim, proper, and pretentious, the little things spoke in volumes. As I thought, she didn't wear her pearls, or an apron, or anything of the sort, because I knew Esme preferred simple, much like I did. The simpler, the better, and honestly, in a simple white dress, she spoke volumes. Then there was the way either Carlisle or Esme would lean in -- elbows crossed on the table and all -- whenever conversation would pick up. And then there would be this look in either Esme's or Carlisle's eyes; a fiery recognition. Recognition of what, I didn't know.
"Oh goodness! Here we are talking, and the food isn't even out yet," Esme exclaimed. "If you'll excuse me."
"I could help!" I said, just a tad too loudly in my ears, as I started to get up.
"No, no, I could handle it," Esme said, already by the kitchen entrance.
I sat back down, but as I did, Carlisle excused himself, and followed Esme into the kitchen. Now it was only Edward and I, with his hand on my thigh, and my mind reeling. His thumb was tracing light circles, and I had pointedly looked at him so that he could stop. He did stop his ministrations, but he didn't lift a finger.
"So..." he began impassively. "What did you and Esme talk about?"
"Oh, really nothing unexpected," I said, trying to pull off the same cool air he had about him. "I should be asking you what had you so worked up between you and Carlisle."
He quirked a brow. "I should've known you caught that." I pressed him for the answer. "Sorry, you'll have to think of something up yourself, Bella. You didn't even tell me what you and Mom were talking about." I rolled my eyes at him. Of course it'd be for a bargain; I should've seen that coming. Still, I wanted to keep the conversation between Esme and I as close and personal as possible, so I kept my mouth shut. Of course, that meant Edward would keep his closed as well. Oh well, it's not like I would let it get to me.
Suddenly his fingers started moving again, and I felt a fire erupting from where his hand made contact with my thigh. I shot him that same look I gave him earlier to stop, but he didn't lighten up. In fact, it only spurred him to move further up my thigh. Soon I knew my admonishing look became a disbelieving, panicked one. His eyes were half-lidded and his mouth was hanging slightly open. He couldn't be serious? ...Could he?
"Edward," I sharply whispered to him. "Your parents are coming back any second now."
His face turned serious, and I had a feeling it wasn't because his parents were only in the next room. The familiar passion I saw whenever he was aroused was still there, but it was overlooked by such a powerful other look. I felt captivated by his gaze. It seemed I had been getting lost in his eyes lately, and this was no different from any other time. His green eyes... his perfect lips...
And just as we leaned in a bit further, his parents sauntered back into the room. In that instant, we separated until we were at an acceptable space apart. Esme and Carlisle both had plates in their hands, and I immediately rose to help them out. We all got the food ready, and it wasn't long until we all had started eating.
I decided to look at them from an outsider's point of view instead of acting as part of the conversation, like I did earlier. Somehow, this was a lot different from when we were talking. Maybe the presence of food loosened up Esme and Carlisle, but it didn't seem so "prim and proper." I didn't feel uncomfortable. It felt like a family. But, for that very reason, I couldn't help but feel separated from them. Never had I had a real Thanksgiving dinner with a full family, since I'd always have to decided whether or not I wanted to be with Renee and her crazy friends or with Charlie and his still, quiet home. This was a whole different brand of family to me.
Yet, I felt completely at ease... as if they were my family.
They'll sure make great in-laws. My face flushed at the thought. I shouldn't be thinking about these things... Edward and I, we were only still at the beginning of our relationship. I hadn't even confessed my love for him! I didn't even know what he fully thought of our relationship and to what extent his feelings were.
"Love, why is your face so red?" I felt his lips brush against the shell of my ear. At that comment, my face naturally reddened even more. We were still in front of his parents.
"I just... realized how close you guys are," I admitted, biting my lip.
Then, his voice dropped, as his lips grazed my ears again. "You know, it wouldn't be hard at all for you to become part of this family..." My heart raced at his implication.
"Oh, you two are so cute together," Esme quipped, after observing us. "It's like you two were made for each other."
We glanced at each other. For some reason, this felt like the right moment to tell his parents about our relationship. Edward held my hand and squeezed it reassuringly. This was the moment of truth for us.
"Actually, we have something to tell you," Edward began slowly. Carlisle and Esme seemed to sit up straighter, expectant about what we were going to tell them. Edward took in a breath. "I'm not exactly sure how I should tell you this, but Bella and I... we didn't exactly start off on the right foot..."
Carlisle smirked and chuckled. "What? You were too hard on her? Or she hated your guts?" But then, his whole demeanor changed to something much more serious. "Jus what exactly are you talking about, Edward?" Carlisle's voice was stern, but cool. "What did you do? ...Are you married? You didn't get an abortion, did you?"
"No," Edward said quickly and calmly, but his hand squeezed mine infinitesimally. "It's not that... it was more of how we got together..."
"Oh my God, did you guys have sex when you were her teacher, Edward?" In contrast to Carlisle, Esme's voice was sharp and slightly hysterical.
"No!" Edward quickly rebutted. "It's not that, we--wait. What did you just ask?"
Esme blinked. "If you two had sex while she was under your teaching..."
In that moment, several things happened. Edward's hand dropped from mine, as I sat frozen. My mouth hung agape, no doubt making me look like an awkward fish, yet Esme looked as gorgeous and unaware as ever. I heard Edward give a chortle, and soon it burst into loud guffaw of laughter. He kept laughing as I just sat there silent and shocked. Esme may have looked a little confused about our reactions, but Carlisle seemed to know what we were so reactive about, since he now had an amused smirk. It reminded me of Edward's crooked smile.
It had never occurred to either Edward or I that his parents would have found out on their own, or would have known all this time that I had known him for a few years now, from when he lived in Forks. On one hand, it should have been obvious: this was a small town, I was a frequent visitor to the Forks hospital, Esme was a feisty spy. But on the other, there was no hint from either of his parents about knowing. However, it could have been the fact that the idea just seemed so impossible to us that we may have overlooked any hints; we wouldn't have believed anything unless they outright admitted that they knew, kind of like now.
"I don't understand why you're laughing, Edward," Esme said delicately.
Edward's laughter died down, and my body finally had unfrozen itself so that I could look at him. Once we made eye contact, his amused expression was toned down, and was being replaced by a more solemn look. He grabbed my hand once more, and we turned to his parents.
"We didn't expect you to know," Edward slowly started, similar to when he started to break the news earlier. "It's just ironic to me that you guys would know that I was her teacher, when we were so worried that you'd freak out when you'd find out."
Esme's brows furrowed. "You thought we were going to freak out? Why would we do that?"
Edward's amused expression came back as he eyed me. "We just had our worries about telling parents... Other than the whole meeting parents thing." He was making fun of my worries, I know, but he hadn't met my father yet, and that was something else in itself. The thought made me realize something.
"Oh God, do you know if my father knows?" My voice was panicky.
"Chief Swan?" Carlisle looked up in thought at the area above my head. "Well, neither Esme nor I have seen him since you two have been together, so we didn't say anything to him, but it could be very well that he's found out or put two and two together, like we have." My face paled, and Carlisle took notice. He rebutted, "But it's possible that he hadn't either."
I gave a short nod in Carlisle's direction, but I just stared at the food in front of me. I don't know what I'd do if Charlie found out already, and he was just waiting for us to arrive tomorrow just so that he could shoot Edward off our porch. The scene played in my mind perfectly: After I greet Edward at his car, us walking up the stairs hand in hand, and Charlie comes out with his favorite rifle in hand, yelling "You think you can take advantage of your students?" just before he shoots Edward clear in the knee cap. I was horrified; I felt sick.
"Bella, dear, are you okay?" Esme said comfortingly, reaching across the table to hold my hand.
"I... I'll be fine," I said, looking up at her, all while trying to hide my inner turmoil. "I'm just nervous about seeing my dad tomorrow is all."
She gave me a sympathetic smile. "Well, no matter what happens, I know you two will pull through."
I looked at Edward, and said, without looking back at Esme, "I know."