Harry Potter fic - Chapter One

[weavilsfanfic]

I have now finished the revised chapter one of my HP fic and so figured I'd stick it here, in case anyone wanted a look. Any comments appreciated, especially if you know HP canon and spot anything wildly awry, as this is my first real attempt a serious fic in this fandom.

Comments

[isil_elensar]

I know I already commented on your other lj about this, but I like what I'm reading so far...

Thanks for sharing!

[space_weavil]

Thanks again! :D

Yeah, I keep forgetting that this journal is meant to be the fanfic one. Actually I like the layout better than my real one anyway.

SW

[inkspotsbyisil]

This was a good chapter to read, SW. It kept my attention all the way to the end, and quite frankly, I like the look back into Lucius' life.

I can see why he spoils his son (he couldn't have the new broom model, so he indulges his son when he wants the new broom model), and really, even though he's a tough character, I can almost imagine a kind of soft side to Lucius. So, what happened between his youth and the time he becomes a Death Eater, is the question I have. :-)

And I'm really curious about the hooded figure at the end, who so obviously performed one of the deadly charms (well, the really really bad ones - I should see the movies again) on poor Jenny Causaubon.

Great read, SW! I can't wait to read the next chapter (right after a certain other fic... *grin*)!

[space_weavil]

I can see why he spoils his son (he couldn't have the new broom model, so he indulges his son when he wants the new broom model), and really, even though he's a tough character, I can almost imagine a kind of soft side to Lucius. So, what happened between his youth and the time he becomes a Death Eater, is the question I have. :-)

You don't know how much I'm squeeing at that! That's exactly what I'm hoping to do, if I can pull it off, showing how he goes from being just a mildly bratty, slightly lonely kid to being a full blown nutter. I was really scared that people would think I was trying to make him all sweet and fluffy, but what I wanted to do is to show how the prejudices he ends up with actually came about. Like I said, if I can pull it off...

And I'm really curious about the hooded figure at the end, who so obviously performed one of the deadly charms (well, the really really bad ones - I should see the movies again) on poor Jenny Causaubon. A little more of him in Chapter III... heh. I shan't say who he was, as that

[inkspotsbyisil]

You don't know how much I'm squeeing at that! That's exactly what I'm hoping to do, if I can pull it off, showing how he goes from being just a mildly bratty, slightly lonely kid to being a full blown nutter. I was really scared that people would think I was trying to make him all sweet and fluffy, but what I wanted to do is to show how the prejudices he ends up with actually came about. Like I said, if I can pull it off...

Wow! You mean I actually picked up on that?? ;-) LOL! I really think you can pull it off! I still need to read chapters 2 & 3, but I hope to catch up soon...

A little more of him in Chapter III... heh. I shan't say who he was, as that would spoil it. ;D

Well, I have my guesses, but I'll wait to see if I'm right or wrong... ;-)

[space_weavil]

Wow! You mean I actually picked up on that?? ;-) LOL! I really think you can pull it off! I still need to read chapters 2 & 3, but I hope to catch up soon...

I love when people notice stuff I've been trying to set up - you're never sure if you've not dropped enough hints or if you're creating the wrong impression, so that is why I squee..

I am holding off posting chapter 4 anywhere for a while. Firstly because I need to check on some lyrics / composer details and I can't be bothered finding the CD, and secondly because I can't remember where I've posted or not posted. But that has a bit more of Lucius and his father.

Well, I have my guesses, but I'll wait to see if I'm right or wrong... ;-)

I would imagine you're probably right...heh.