My bear411 Story
When the Nazis came for me by
Pastor Martin Niemöller
When the Nazis came for the communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a communist.
When they locked up the social democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a social democrat.
When they came for the trade unionists,
I did not speak out;
I was not a trade unionist.
When they came for the Jews,
I didn’t speak up,
because I wasn't a Jew.
When they came for the sick, the so-called incurables, I didn't speak up, because I wasn’t mentally ill.
When they came for the Catholics, I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant.
When they came for me,
there was no-one left
to speak out.
*******
I'm writing this not out of spite to get back at bear411 for rejecting my profile. For I don't need to have a profile to prove that I am Bear in mind, body, and soul. Since I came to Toronto 8 yrs ago, my active involvement in the Bear Community from being an organizer to recently being invited to address a group of students at Univ. of Guelph at Humber College about the community speaks volumes enough. So no I don't need to go on a website, and have a profile to prove that I'm "Bear 'nuff for ya." I know some of you are saying, who cares, Don, there are thousand of bear sites out there that are way more cooler than bear411 so why bother?!!? Besides you never paid for it in the first place, so who cares? It is after all, their site, and they can do what they want with it.
The reason why I am drawing attention to it, is that the administration at Bear411 policy of systematically deleting or rejecting people profiles without any real explanation given to the parties affected needs to be questioned, especially since these parties do not fit their myopic definition of what a bear is.
There actions are especially disturbing today, because so many of us use the internet as a means to connect with people. So naturally we are naturally drawn to sites like bear411, which offer a sense of community identity. It is a beacon to connect with like minded people for sex, friendship, love, and to find out what's happening in the community. This way you can meet up with people without the fear of being ridicule for your choices unlike other mainstream gay sites. By bear411 adminstation policy of rejecting people at random without a real explanation smacks of extreme censorship, bigotry, stupidity, and poor customer service. In the end, they do a real disservice to the community by choosing to execise the same type of prejudices that was once directed at all of us for being bears and for daring to loving them. In the end, they make us all look bad.
Besides, it goes against the very grain of what a bear is, for the idea of what a bear is so fluid, and constantly ever evolving. Ask five guys in the community what a bear is, and you'll come up with five thousand definitions. You know what? that's not a bad thing!However the one definition that everyone agrees with is that ideal of self acceptance no matter how you look like, which serves as a counter foil to the "body beautiful" image (in the gym, trim 24/7) of gay masculinity that at times is perpetuated by the mainsteam Gay & Streight media.
I'm writing this because I am as guilty as many people of you out there, and to draw attention that complacency is not the answer, because sooner or later it will bite you in the ass. When it was first brought to my attention that bear411 was systematic kicking people off if they didn't fit the bear image (i.e. twinks, people of color, transgender...etc.), and the mass protest that was happening, I shurged it off. Besides I was too lazy to pull my profile because I didn't want to lose my friends list that I built up over the years..After all I'm Black, hairy, have facial hair, and I'm on bear411! So they can't be too bad! Right? Wrong!
Until I tried to post news about my upcoming events on the bearguide page, and found they were constantly rejected. I wrote to them and I got no response. I than changed my profile pictures. I was told that their was a problem with my profile picture. I than shot a picture of me wearing sunglasses, from the chest up. I posted it. Later, I than attempted to log into my profile and found that my password was not working. I got the error message that my profile no longer exhists.
So now after eight years, they have come for me, and now I have to stand alone; however, I refuse to sit here and go away quietly. Instead it's time to drop some knowledge on some of you folks who seem to start to worship the cult of the "A" list bear. It does hurt loosing my bear411 account because I used it to connect to many of my friends, especially those involved in other social groups. It will be much more difficult to reach them.
What I'm talking about may not affect you today, but think about this: the next time you approach a cute chaser, and ask why he isnt on bear411, don't get made if he tells you because he's too skinny, or the transgender bear, who argues with you that Bears are just as as narrow minded as everyone else, and uses having his profile suddenly being deleted by bear411 as an example, because he didn't fit "the mold", or the fact you didn't know about this awesome Bear Run that's happening next week because they only advertise on bear411, which you don't have a profile. For some reason your profile keeps getting rejected, and all you can think is that they have something against smooth chubs, despite the fact that you volunteer for your local bear group and have profiles on other bear sites with no problem or you run into your friend whose pissed off that he has to write another letter again asking why his profile was accepted, but not his boyfriend who clearly started that he loves bears. He fumes to you that somehow they seem to have a thing against Asians...
Is this who we truly are??!? Is this what you want people to think our community is all about!?!?! It's bad enough that the mainstream community can be so cold it's worst when we atack our own. NO! I don't think so. So why perpetuate the stereotype of the "A' list Bear and support people who do !?!!? I'm not nor should any of you. After all, this is not what beardome is all about!
Think about it.