Damned App
Name/Handle: Kelsey
Age: 19
Gender: Female
Timezone: US Central
Personal LJ: everyoneisemo
E-Mail: rpdina@gmail.com
AIM/other: dinachan321
Is English your primary language?: Yes
---
Series: Flight of the Conchords
Series' Medium: Live Action Television (and nearly identical but older radio show which I probably won't take into consideration very much)
Character: Bret McClegnie
Age: 33
Sex/Gender: Male / Male
Canon Role: Protagonist / best friend / wearer of animal apparel / composer of the longest of songs
"Real" Name: Patrick Mitchell
How long have you roleplayed your character, if at all?:
I’ve been playing Bret for almost a year now.
Where have you roleplayed in general and/or with this specific character?:
I’ve roleplayed at thewake_rp briefly with Bret (and Nite Owl, if you care) and more actively at rowantree_rpg, as well as in private storylines with friends.
Are you personally familiar with your character's canon?:
I watched the first season of the show last spring and later in the summer got my hands on the second season as well. I’ve also listened to the radio series, which is very similar to how the television series turned out (including entire plots and scenes being taken almost word for word from one to the other). I’m also familiar with the band as performers outside the television show, for what it’s worth.
Please give us a personal history of your character's life and explain to us in detail how they grow and develop over the course of their canon:
The show starts with Bret and Jemaine living in New York and trying to make it as musicians. Throughout the show it becomes clear that, not only are they not terribly good musicians, but they have quite possibly the worst luck ever. Their bouts of bad luck extend to just about everything in their lives-specifically, they have a terrible time with women. Bret’s journey throughout the show consists of terrible gigs (like one in “a central park” in Newark, New Jersey rather than the Central Park in New York) and even worse encounters with women.
Not much is said about either of the main characters’ lives before they arrived in New York. At some point in the past, Bret and Jemaine meet and become friends while working as shepherds in New Zealand. They bond over music and form a band (the titular Flight of the Conchords) and eventually decide to move to New York together to try and make it as musicians. Upon arrival, they meet Murray, the incompetent New Zealand consulate worker who becomes their incompetent manager, and presumably proceed to play infrequent and lackluster gigs around the city.
About a year passes between these events and the start of the show. In this time, Bret and Jemaine move into a small apartment in Chinatown where they share a room. This awkward arrangement apparently has little bearing on Bret’s ability to get with women-or, at least, with a woman named Sally. He dates her for about six months before she dumps him, more than likely due to the fact that Bret is not, in fact, Australian. In addition, Bret and Jemaine befriend a vulgar pawn shop owner named Dave and accrue a fanbase (although it only includes one member-an obsessive woman named Mel).
In the beginning of the first season, Jemaine dates Sally, despite the fact that it makes things weird and leaves Bret out. It is unclear whether the depression Bret feels during this time is due to his jealousy of Jemaine or of Sally. However, later in the season, when Jemaine dates Sally again and actually moves out in order to impress her, he and Bret get into a competition to create the most impressive birthday gift for the woman, only to be left heartbroken when she announces she’s marrying an Australian man instead.
It is important to note that during this time, Bret is, in fact, currently dating a girl named Coco from his sign-holding second job. Despite the fact that earlier in the season he is willing to quit the band for her (which unfortunately proves Jemaine right about her being a “Yoko”) Bret obsesses so much about Sally that Coco is forced to dump him, leaving him doubly heartbroken. The rest of his dates and crushes are more unorthodox, to say the least.
Bret first briefly dates Lisa, who lies to him about being a sniper who’s about to be shipped to Iraq (despite quite obviously being a pastry chef) in order to coerce him into sex before he’s ready, leaving him feeling violated. An unspecified amount of time later, he and Jemaine have a threesome with a (temporary) female fan while under the influence of drugs, though it’s not entirely clear how much actually happens. It isn’t until the second season that Bret becomes involved with another woman, though this is only after yet again fighting Jemaine for her affections (and after explaining that he and Jemaine are not, in fact, a gay couple like she originally suspects.) Brahbrah’s obsession with her dog and generally unsteady nature more than likely drives Bret away at some point after this episode, as she is never seen or mentioned again. Later, with some unconventional help from Jemaine, Dave, and Mel, Bret goes on a date with a woman named Savannah, but despite enticing her with his attempts at being freaky for her, she is frightened by how his wooing includes fake muggings and stalking. After Savannah, Bret is once again left alone with Jemaine.
In fact, his relationship with Jemaine is the center of the show and the cause of most of its conflict. Not only do they fight over women and engage in vaguely homoerotic songwriting from time-to-time, they often end up bickering like an old married couple. At one point, Bret and Jemaine are mugged and Bret becomes too afraid to stop and help Jemaine get free from a fence he’s stuck on, and instead runs all the way home. He proceeds to avoid telling anyone what has happened until days later, and actually rents out Jemaine’s half of the apartment to another man in the meantime. This puts a strain on their relationship that is only solved once Jemaine and Bret are reminded of all the good times they’ve had together.
And there are good times between the bad. When Bret begins feeling insecure about his image, Jemaine endeavors to make him feel better about it despite his own concerns that it might be gay, and Bret appreciates it-though perhaps he appreciates the efforts of the floating David Bowie who visits him in his dreams slightly more. Jemaine is also the only person who stands up for Bret on the occasions when others want him out of the band, and is willing to whore himself out to support Bret’s cup-buying habit. However, while they appear to count each other as best friends, Bret seems to not notice the things Jemaine does for him in instances like not inviting him to join in a gang he forms. He does ask Jemaine to be his wingman on several occasions, but he only agrees reluctantly due to Bret’s insistence that doing so is similar to the film Top Gun.
The season finales offer the two most important events in both the boy’s lives. At the end of season one, Bret is kicked out of the band by a bongo player Murray has hired. Angry, Bret forms his own rival band with a keytar player, but neither individual band is as successful as the bongo-keytar duo The Crazy Dogggz that forms at the end. Bret and Jemaine reform Flight of the Conchords and Murray continues managing both bands, though The Crazy Dogggz wild success leads to Bret and Jemaine firing Murray as their manager at the beginning of season two, only to rehire him upon discovering that Murray took care of the inconveniences that come along with getting work as illegal immigrants. At the end of season two, Bret and Jemaine are kicked out of their apartment thanks to having paid rent in New Zealand dollars over the years they’d been living there, and are forced to move in with their fan Mel and her husband. Murray then gets Bret and Jemaine to star in a musical he’s written about their lives, but this only highlights their illegal immigrant status to the government officials who attend, and in the end they are deported back to New Zealand.
What point in time are you taking your character from when he/she appears at Landel's and why?:
I’m taking Bret from just before he’s deported to New Zealand. He’s a generally happy guy, so despite failing to achieve much in New York, he won’t be too broken up upon arriving in Landel’s. He’ll mostly be confused, which is how he approaches just about everything he doesn’t understand. I’m taking him from this point because I think the show ends somewhere where he could easily fade into the background and live more-or-less happily ever after, but he’s just so imaginative and childlike that giving him the opportunity to see and do things outside his normal realm of possibility fascinates me, and while the show was strange and bizarre at times, anything he might see at Landel’s would’ve been completely out of the question in New York-and even moreso in New Zealand.
Please give us a detailed description of your character's personality:
Upon first meeting Bret, your first impression would probably be that he’s dull. And, at one point in the show, Bret admits that, “after six or seven weeks, girls find [him] boring.” At one point, Jemaine and Murray even consider replacing him with a cassette tape at gigs. The fact is, he’s just neutral in reaction to most things he encounters. This is not to say he’s unaffected-when Lisa essentially rapes him, he’s so disturbed that he sits in the shower with his clothes on, and when he and Jemaine are harassed by a xenophobic fruit seller, a children’s show about racism makes him cry. But generally, given the choice between showing outward emotion and expressing himself through musical sequences of questionable reality, he leans towards the music videos. It’s difficult to say how much actual reality the music videos represent, but they generally reflect how Bret and/or Jemaine are currently feeling in a more boisterous way than they would in everyday scenes. Bret’s extremes in the music videos include much more lewd sexual innuendos and slightly more aggressive themes than he generally shows in normal speech, but I think this is to show that he is capable of thinking about such things, if not capable of actually acting on them very often.
But even in reality, he isn’t a bland, flat character. He’s insecure-an entire episode is devoted to his body issues, and although it ends with him exposing himself enthusiastically to a potential employer, he never seem totally self-confident. This theme reoccurs later in the series when Bret attempts prostitution but only manages hugs, as well as when he and Jemaine develop an addiction to hair gel that leaves them sequestered in their flat when they run out. He’s also incredibly quirky-he has a mold farm, he constructs a camera-phone from a camera and a phone, and he makes a helmet that’s covered in curly hair to match his own while cycling. On the more masculine front, he’s stubborn and competitive-on several occasions he gets in arguments and wrestling matches with Jemaine over things that, ultimately, never matter all that much. Despite this, somehow he’s also quite cowardly-like when he leaves Jemaine to fend for himself against a pair of armed muggers.
His cardinal traits are probably his naivety and hopeless romanticism. He falls for girls quite easily-when he meets Coco he immediately starts staring at her-and he’s ceaselessly persistent once he’s sweet on one-he makes Sally numerous birthday presents in his quest to one-up Jemaine and writes an epic (two hour long) song for Coco. He simply tends to see the world through rose-colored glasses. This is reflected in how he creates a camera-phone out of the corresponding elements, as well as being attracted to women who would more than likely be considered out of his league. Unfortunately, these traits make him an easy target for other people’s cruelty-like when Lisa takes advantage of him. He also tends to put more than his fair share of effort into pleasing other people-like Lisa and Sally and, when he’s hurt his feelings, Jemaine. His imaginative idealism lets him see things that aren’t necessarily as true as he thinks they are-like Lisa being a pastry chef and a sniper and Sally having any interest in him despite apparently being in the midst of dating Jemaine.
Despite his unflagging interest in women (although, unlike most stereotypical men, it truly is a romantic interest more than a sexual one) Bret does have the ability to be alone if he has to be. This is probably his main difference from Jemaine as a character-- for example, Jemaine tags along on Bret's dates and Bret pretty clearly wishes Jemaine would give him and his date some time alone. Where Jemaine needs constant attention, Bret is often shown being just fine on his own. But at the same time, when Jemaine is off dating Sally, Bret is pretty clearly broken up about being left out. While Bret can entertain himself and be perfectly okay spending time alone, he does attach himself pretty securely to certain people and is hurt when they spend a lot of time away from him. Though they fight a lot and Bret is, at times, awfully inconsiderate of Jemaine's feelings, it's clear that his friendship means a lot to Bret. Any close friendship seems to stick better for Bret than the various relationships he's had with women, and though he has chosen "love" over friendship in the past, the friendship does inevitably win out. In the end, Bret is able to be alone if need be but would probably ultimately choose to be with a good friend, if he really thought about it.
Overall, Bret is a fairly friendly, likeable guy. Sure, he’s immature and awfully naïve, but generally people like to have him around. Or, at the very least, they don’t mind it if he’s around. When they notice he’s around. He’s a little boring, after all. But his sweetness makes up for it, right?
Please give us a physical description of your character:
Bret is pretty average looking, at first glance, if only due to his tendency to wear rather frumpy jumpers and sweaters rather than anything particularly dashing. He’s fairly tall (around 6’) and thin, with a mess of brown curls and a respectable brown beard. His features are angular, with an especially delicate nose and high cheekbones. But it’s his cupid’s bow lips in conjunction with his big brown eyes that create his dangerous secret weapon: the most heartbreaking and stubborn pout you will ever see.
What kinds of otherwordly abilities does your character have, if any?:
None!
If present, how do you plan to tweak these powers to make your character appropriately hindered in the setting of Landel's?:
N/A
Does your character have any non-otherworldly abilities/training that surpass the norm?:
It’s never explicitly explained where Bret got his musical abilities from-given the tone of the show one could assume he saw a guitar on TV back in New Zealand and just went to town teaching himself, or something like that-but as it is, he has a rather sizeable number of instruments under his belt as shown in the show. Given the fact that playing music is all he does I figure the number is reasonable, but I can certainly limit his abilities if it’s an issue. On the show he’s shown playing guitar, ukulele, drums, keyboard/piano, synthesizer, a Casio DG20 electric guitar, and he’s a pretty decent singer and rapper. As far as his other musical skills go, he also composes songs and writes epic lyrics to go along with them.
In addition to making music, Bret likes to make, well, things. He’s rather crafty and while it’s difficult to define what exactly he can make and from what materials, it can be assumed that a lot of what he makes on the show is created by 90% pure determination. He weaves and claims that he comes from a long line of (male) weavers, and does actually weave himself a pair of trousers. At one point he constructs a helmet that looks like his hair and a pair of gloves that look like his hands. He also does needlepoint, paints, and once engraved a seven verse poem on a pebble. Whether these skills are useful or just random is up for debate.
What do you see your character doing in the scope of the game and how do you plan to use the setting of Landel's Institute to develop them and affect their psychology in a unique, interesting way?:
Bret’s never really grown up. Viewers of the show often describe him as a man-child, and I’m not about to argue with them. I think the setting of Landel’s will force Bret to figure out how to really survive. I don’t think he’ll ever be a hero-and in all honesty, he’ll probably need other people’s help more than he’ll be able to help others-but he’s the sort of person who easily gets attached to people and goes above and beyond to please them. I believe this tendency will lead him to find people he cares about and do everything in his power to keep them safe-even if this challenges his natural cowardice. I’d like to see him taking chances he wouldn’t normally take because, unlike back home, there really isn’t anywhere to run to. Where he might’ve hidden or run before, I think he’ll begin making the decision to stand and fight, or find some other way to contribute. Though at times Bret has demonstrated a disdain for authority, I think he’s smart enough to recognize the people who know what they’re doing, and given the dangerous setting I think he’ll begin to follow orders rather easily after only a little while in Landel’s. He will more than likely be attracted to groups of people, if only for the sense of protection (and, let’s face it, popularity) but once in a group he’ll probably attach himself especially to one or two select people. Canonically, he’s been generally attracted to women he’d like to date and men he thinks are cool. I think, for the most part, he’ll keep up this tendency in a place like Landel’s.
Given that this RP takes place in an unsettling and outright horrific environment, how do you justify your character as being appropriate in both body and mind for this kind of setting?:
Bret doesn’t seem like a particularly brave, strong, or clever individual. And it’s true-he’s not. But he has done brave things. He traveled across the world in hopes that he’d be able to make it as a musician. Moving is never an easy thing to do, and moving across the world? On the very slim chance that he’d be able to not only survive but be successful as a musician? Bret put his entire life on the line by doing this and could’ve failed spectacularly. But his idealism and his determination always manage to get him through things. Yes, he is meek but he is not completely weak. No, he’s not particularly muscular but he’s not out of shape either. He’s a fairly average person with a fairly average constitution and I don’t see that as any reason to keep him from getting by in any environment. Human beings are built to survive, and as goofy and bizarre as Bret and his canon are, he is ultimately very human, and I have faith in that resilience.
Third-Person Sample:
Bret had promised he wouldn’t lose any more sheep. He’d promised again and again, to the point where he no longer felt it meant anything and would really rather be anywhere but sitting there promising, but he’d done it. He’d said he wouldn’t lose another one.
And then he had anyway. Flip.
Okay, well, it wasn’t lost yet. Sammy (Bret had named him after he was lost; there were simply too many sheep to actually name all of them) had apparently walked off at some point before the final count, and now Bret was off in the hills, baa-ing hopefully into the quickly darkening twilight. Sammy was a very naughty sheep. He would have to be punished.
Bret couldn’t help but wonder if he was playing into some of the stereotypes he’d heard so much about back in New York. And, as odd as it was to think of it as ‘back in New York’ rather than ‘back in New Zealand’ because he really was ‘back in New Zealand’ now, it was even odder to think about how much he missed the xenophobia. And how people would call him Brit. And the girls.
Which was, perhaps, where the stereotype came from. The New Zealand girls weren’t horrible to look at, but when compared to some of the high-class ladies he’d had the pleasure of meeting in New York, well, the difference was noticeable. He’d never been that shallow, really, but he could see why people would joke about sheep being an alternative. As disgusting as it was to think about.
Why was he thinking about it again?
Oh, right. Sammy.
Jemaine was a little more shallow, Bret mused as he came over the top of one of the hills. Not by much, but he had always been a little more concerned about getting the hotter of any pair of girls they were interested in, even if it meant swapping a few times to be sure he got the right one. And he just seemed to be more focused on looks in general, sometimes. He’d written that weird song to compliment Bret once, which obviously meant he was aware of how Bret looked, which really just made it all weirder without even mentioning the wig and the spooning.
A sheep! And probably the sheep! Sammy! Bret spotted the little raincloud of a creature nestled amongst some bushes on the far side of one of the hills. Grinning triumphantly, he started to pick up the pace, twirling his walking stick with a flourish, like it was a giant drumstick. Yes, this was great! He’d usher Sammy back through the gate and get home just in time for tea! What a brilliant-
Oh, flip.
In his gleeful haste he hadn’t been watching where he was going, and apparently his foot had caught on a rock or an exposed root because now he was falling, tumbling head over heels down the hill and into the bushes, right past where Sammy was standing. He rolled once, no, twice more and then landed face down in the mud.
Spitting out a mouthful of earth, Bret scrambled to his feet, tossing his soiled scarf over his shoulder as he turned to face his prize. “Here, Sammy.”
“Baa.”
“Sammy, time to go home.”
“Baa.”
“Sammy, we don’t have time for this. The Dog Show is on tonight and-“
A shrill whistle rang out over the hills. Sammy and Bret turned in tandem to the source, and lo and behold Jemaine was coming over the hills, looking as grumpy as ever. “Bret, what are you doing? Just grab him and let’s go.”
“But I thought I should try reasoning with him first-“ Bret began, scratching his neck in an admittedly sheepish gesture.
“It’s a sheep, Bret!” Jemaine groaned, waving his shepherd’s hook in annoyance, “It doesn’t reason. It just-it’s just a dumb animal.”
Bret pouted, crossing his arms. He was almost offended on Sammy’s behalf. “You’re a dumb animal.”
“Well, you’re a dickhead.”
Bret’s mouth fell open. “You’re a dickhead, dickhead!”
Thus, though he wasn’t sure who started it, Bret found himself wrestling Jemaine to the ground and, after a few minutes of spirited roughhousing, ending up bested again. Curse Jemaine’s upper-body strength. And general bigger-than-him-ness. Jemaine took pleasure in pinning him down for a moment, but Bret managed to knock him off rather quickly (although maybe Jemaine was about to let him go anyway-it sounded as if he’d mumbled something about it being gay).
Panting, Bret turned to Sammy, who was still standing at attention. “So, home?” Bret asked.
“Baa,” said Sammy.
“Yeah, okay,” said Jemaine.
First-Person Sample:
Song Ideas
Tree
Beautiful girls
Boats
Pepileptic dogs
David Bowie tribute
Combination of all of them?
Once I climbed a tree,
And from there I could see,
Beautiful girls a-floatin’,
Because they were a-boatin’.
These nautical ladies did sail,
With only the help of one male,
For Major Tom was the admiral,
I should ask Jemaine for a rhyme for “admiral”.
Admirable? Abominable? Amaretto?
---
Completely optional question for first-time applicants: How did you find out about this RP and why are you interested in playing in it?:
I don’t know where I first heard about it-probably roleplay!secrets-but I didn’t become interested in playing at Damned until my friends apped and got in. They encouraged me to give it a try and well, it does look like a lot of fun!
Age: 19
Gender: Female
Timezone: US Central
Personal LJ: everyoneisemo
E-Mail: rpdina@gmail.com
AIM/other: dinachan321
Is English your primary language?: Yes
---
Series: Flight of the Conchords
Series' Medium: Live Action Television (and nearly identical but older radio show which I probably won't take into consideration very much)
Character: Bret McClegnie
Age: 33
Sex/Gender: Male / Male
Canon Role: Protagonist / best friend / wearer of animal apparel / composer of the longest of songs
"Real" Name: Patrick Mitchell
How long have you roleplayed your character, if at all?:
I’ve been playing Bret for almost a year now.
Where have you roleplayed in general and/or with this specific character?:
I’ve roleplayed at thewake_rp briefly with Bret (and Nite Owl, if you care) and more actively at rowantree_rpg, as well as in private storylines with friends.
Are you personally familiar with your character's canon?:
I watched the first season of the show last spring and later in the summer got my hands on the second season as well. I’ve also listened to the radio series, which is very similar to how the television series turned out (including entire plots and scenes being taken almost word for word from one to the other). I’m also familiar with the band as performers outside the television show, for what it’s worth.
Please give us a personal history of your character's life and explain to us in detail how they grow and develop over the course of their canon:
The show starts with Bret and Jemaine living in New York and trying to make it as musicians. Throughout the show it becomes clear that, not only are they not terribly good musicians, but they have quite possibly the worst luck ever. Their bouts of bad luck extend to just about everything in their lives-specifically, they have a terrible time with women. Bret’s journey throughout the show consists of terrible gigs (like one in “a central park” in Newark, New Jersey rather than the Central Park in New York) and even worse encounters with women.
Not much is said about either of the main characters’ lives before they arrived in New York. At some point in the past, Bret and Jemaine meet and become friends while working as shepherds in New Zealand. They bond over music and form a band (the titular Flight of the Conchords) and eventually decide to move to New York together to try and make it as musicians. Upon arrival, they meet Murray, the incompetent New Zealand consulate worker who becomes their incompetent manager, and presumably proceed to play infrequent and lackluster gigs around the city.
About a year passes between these events and the start of the show. In this time, Bret and Jemaine move into a small apartment in Chinatown where they share a room. This awkward arrangement apparently has little bearing on Bret’s ability to get with women-or, at least, with a woman named Sally. He dates her for about six months before she dumps him, more than likely due to the fact that Bret is not, in fact, Australian. In addition, Bret and Jemaine befriend a vulgar pawn shop owner named Dave and accrue a fanbase (although it only includes one member-an obsessive woman named Mel).
In the beginning of the first season, Jemaine dates Sally, despite the fact that it makes things weird and leaves Bret out. It is unclear whether the depression Bret feels during this time is due to his jealousy of Jemaine or of Sally. However, later in the season, when Jemaine dates Sally again and actually moves out in order to impress her, he and Bret get into a competition to create the most impressive birthday gift for the woman, only to be left heartbroken when she announces she’s marrying an Australian man instead.
It is important to note that during this time, Bret is, in fact, currently dating a girl named Coco from his sign-holding second job. Despite the fact that earlier in the season he is willing to quit the band for her (which unfortunately proves Jemaine right about her being a “Yoko”) Bret obsesses so much about Sally that Coco is forced to dump him, leaving him doubly heartbroken. The rest of his dates and crushes are more unorthodox, to say the least.
Bret first briefly dates Lisa, who lies to him about being a sniper who’s about to be shipped to Iraq (despite quite obviously being a pastry chef) in order to coerce him into sex before he’s ready, leaving him feeling violated. An unspecified amount of time later, he and Jemaine have a threesome with a (temporary) female fan while under the influence of drugs, though it’s not entirely clear how much actually happens. It isn’t until the second season that Bret becomes involved with another woman, though this is only after yet again fighting Jemaine for her affections (and after explaining that he and Jemaine are not, in fact, a gay couple like she originally suspects.) Brahbrah’s obsession with her dog and generally unsteady nature more than likely drives Bret away at some point after this episode, as she is never seen or mentioned again. Later, with some unconventional help from Jemaine, Dave, and Mel, Bret goes on a date with a woman named Savannah, but despite enticing her with his attempts at being freaky for her, she is frightened by how his wooing includes fake muggings and stalking. After Savannah, Bret is once again left alone with Jemaine.
In fact, his relationship with Jemaine is the center of the show and the cause of most of its conflict. Not only do they fight over women and engage in vaguely homoerotic songwriting from time-to-time, they often end up bickering like an old married couple. At one point, Bret and Jemaine are mugged and Bret becomes too afraid to stop and help Jemaine get free from a fence he’s stuck on, and instead runs all the way home. He proceeds to avoid telling anyone what has happened until days later, and actually rents out Jemaine’s half of the apartment to another man in the meantime. This puts a strain on their relationship that is only solved once Jemaine and Bret are reminded of all the good times they’ve had together.
And there are good times between the bad. When Bret begins feeling insecure about his image, Jemaine endeavors to make him feel better about it despite his own concerns that it might be gay, and Bret appreciates it-though perhaps he appreciates the efforts of the floating David Bowie who visits him in his dreams slightly more. Jemaine is also the only person who stands up for Bret on the occasions when others want him out of the band, and is willing to whore himself out to support Bret’s cup-buying habit. However, while they appear to count each other as best friends, Bret seems to not notice the things Jemaine does for him in instances like not inviting him to join in a gang he forms. He does ask Jemaine to be his wingman on several occasions, but he only agrees reluctantly due to Bret’s insistence that doing so is similar to the film Top Gun.
The season finales offer the two most important events in both the boy’s lives. At the end of season one, Bret is kicked out of the band by a bongo player Murray has hired. Angry, Bret forms his own rival band with a keytar player, but neither individual band is as successful as the bongo-keytar duo The Crazy Dogggz that forms at the end. Bret and Jemaine reform Flight of the Conchords and Murray continues managing both bands, though The Crazy Dogggz wild success leads to Bret and Jemaine firing Murray as their manager at the beginning of season two, only to rehire him upon discovering that Murray took care of the inconveniences that come along with getting work as illegal immigrants. At the end of season two, Bret and Jemaine are kicked out of their apartment thanks to having paid rent in New Zealand dollars over the years they’d been living there, and are forced to move in with their fan Mel and her husband. Murray then gets Bret and Jemaine to star in a musical he’s written about their lives, but this only highlights their illegal immigrant status to the government officials who attend, and in the end they are deported back to New Zealand.
What point in time are you taking your character from when he/she appears at Landel's and why?:
I’m taking Bret from just before he’s deported to New Zealand. He’s a generally happy guy, so despite failing to achieve much in New York, he won’t be too broken up upon arriving in Landel’s. He’ll mostly be confused, which is how he approaches just about everything he doesn’t understand. I’m taking him from this point because I think the show ends somewhere where he could easily fade into the background and live more-or-less happily ever after, but he’s just so imaginative and childlike that giving him the opportunity to see and do things outside his normal realm of possibility fascinates me, and while the show was strange and bizarre at times, anything he might see at Landel’s would’ve been completely out of the question in New York-and even moreso in New Zealand.
Please give us a detailed description of your character's personality:
Upon first meeting Bret, your first impression would probably be that he’s dull. And, at one point in the show, Bret admits that, “after six or seven weeks, girls find [him] boring.” At one point, Jemaine and Murray even consider replacing him with a cassette tape at gigs. The fact is, he’s just neutral in reaction to most things he encounters. This is not to say he’s unaffected-when Lisa essentially rapes him, he’s so disturbed that he sits in the shower with his clothes on, and when he and Jemaine are harassed by a xenophobic fruit seller, a children’s show about racism makes him cry. But generally, given the choice between showing outward emotion and expressing himself through musical sequences of questionable reality, he leans towards the music videos. It’s difficult to say how much actual reality the music videos represent, but they generally reflect how Bret and/or Jemaine are currently feeling in a more boisterous way than they would in everyday scenes. Bret’s extremes in the music videos include much more lewd sexual innuendos and slightly more aggressive themes than he generally shows in normal speech, but I think this is to show that he is capable of thinking about such things, if not capable of actually acting on them very often.
But even in reality, he isn’t a bland, flat character. He’s insecure-an entire episode is devoted to his body issues, and although it ends with him exposing himself enthusiastically to a potential employer, he never seem totally self-confident. This theme reoccurs later in the series when Bret attempts prostitution but only manages hugs, as well as when he and Jemaine develop an addiction to hair gel that leaves them sequestered in their flat when they run out. He’s also incredibly quirky-he has a mold farm, he constructs a camera-phone from a camera and a phone, and he makes a helmet that’s covered in curly hair to match his own while cycling. On the more masculine front, he’s stubborn and competitive-on several occasions he gets in arguments and wrestling matches with Jemaine over things that, ultimately, never matter all that much. Despite this, somehow he’s also quite cowardly-like when he leaves Jemaine to fend for himself against a pair of armed muggers.
His cardinal traits are probably his naivety and hopeless romanticism. He falls for girls quite easily-when he meets Coco he immediately starts staring at her-and he’s ceaselessly persistent once he’s sweet on one-he makes Sally numerous birthday presents in his quest to one-up Jemaine and writes an epic (two hour long) song for Coco. He simply tends to see the world through rose-colored glasses. This is reflected in how he creates a camera-phone out of the corresponding elements, as well as being attracted to women who would more than likely be considered out of his league. Unfortunately, these traits make him an easy target for other people’s cruelty-like when Lisa takes advantage of him. He also tends to put more than his fair share of effort into pleasing other people-like Lisa and Sally and, when he’s hurt his feelings, Jemaine. His imaginative idealism lets him see things that aren’t necessarily as true as he thinks they are-like Lisa being a pastry chef and a sniper and Sally having any interest in him despite apparently being in the midst of dating Jemaine.
Despite his unflagging interest in women (although, unlike most stereotypical men, it truly is a romantic interest more than a sexual one) Bret does have the ability to be alone if he has to be. This is probably his main difference from Jemaine as a character-- for example, Jemaine tags along on Bret's dates and Bret pretty clearly wishes Jemaine would give him and his date some time alone. Where Jemaine needs constant attention, Bret is often shown being just fine on his own. But at the same time, when Jemaine is off dating Sally, Bret is pretty clearly broken up about being left out. While Bret can entertain himself and be perfectly okay spending time alone, he does attach himself pretty securely to certain people and is hurt when they spend a lot of time away from him. Though they fight a lot and Bret is, at times, awfully inconsiderate of Jemaine's feelings, it's clear that his friendship means a lot to Bret. Any close friendship seems to stick better for Bret than the various relationships he's had with women, and though he has chosen "love" over friendship in the past, the friendship does inevitably win out. In the end, Bret is able to be alone if need be but would probably ultimately choose to be with a good friend, if he really thought about it.
Overall, Bret is a fairly friendly, likeable guy. Sure, he’s immature and awfully naïve, but generally people like to have him around. Or, at the very least, they don’t mind it if he’s around. When they notice he’s around. He’s a little boring, after all. But his sweetness makes up for it, right?
Please give us a physical description of your character:
Bret is pretty average looking, at first glance, if only due to his tendency to wear rather frumpy jumpers and sweaters rather than anything particularly dashing. He’s fairly tall (around 6’) and thin, with a mess of brown curls and a respectable brown beard. His features are angular, with an especially delicate nose and high cheekbones. But it’s his cupid’s bow lips in conjunction with his big brown eyes that create his dangerous secret weapon: the most heartbreaking and stubborn pout you will ever see.
What kinds of otherwordly abilities does your character have, if any?:
None!
If present, how do you plan to tweak these powers to make your character appropriately hindered in the setting of Landel's?:
N/A
Does your character have any non-otherworldly abilities/training that surpass the norm?:
It’s never explicitly explained where Bret got his musical abilities from-given the tone of the show one could assume he saw a guitar on TV back in New Zealand and just went to town teaching himself, or something like that-but as it is, he has a rather sizeable number of instruments under his belt as shown in the show. Given the fact that playing music is all he does I figure the number is reasonable, but I can certainly limit his abilities if it’s an issue. On the show he’s shown playing guitar, ukulele, drums, keyboard/piano, synthesizer, a Casio DG20 electric guitar, and he’s a pretty decent singer and rapper. As far as his other musical skills go, he also composes songs and writes epic lyrics to go along with them.
In addition to making music, Bret likes to make, well, things. He’s rather crafty and while it’s difficult to define what exactly he can make and from what materials, it can be assumed that a lot of what he makes on the show is created by 90% pure determination. He weaves and claims that he comes from a long line of (male) weavers, and does actually weave himself a pair of trousers. At one point he constructs a helmet that looks like his hair and a pair of gloves that look like his hands. He also does needlepoint, paints, and once engraved a seven verse poem on a pebble. Whether these skills are useful or just random is up for debate.
What do you see your character doing in the scope of the game and how do you plan to use the setting of Landel's Institute to develop them and affect their psychology in a unique, interesting way?:
Bret’s never really grown up. Viewers of the show often describe him as a man-child, and I’m not about to argue with them. I think the setting of Landel’s will force Bret to figure out how to really survive. I don’t think he’ll ever be a hero-and in all honesty, he’ll probably need other people’s help more than he’ll be able to help others-but he’s the sort of person who easily gets attached to people and goes above and beyond to please them. I believe this tendency will lead him to find people he cares about and do everything in his power to keep them safe-even if this challenges his natural cowardice. I’d like to see him taking chances he wouldn’t normally take because, unlike back home, there really isn’t anywhere to run to. Where he might’ve hidden or run before, I think he’ll begin making the decision to stand and fight, or find some other way to contribute. Though at times Bret has demonstrated a disdain for authority, I think he’s smart enough to recognize the people who know what they’re doing, and given the dangerous setting I think he’ll begin to follow orders rather easily after only a little while in Landel’s. He will more than likely be attracted to groups of people, if only for the sense of protection (and, let’s face it, popularity) but once in a group he’ll probably attach himself especially to one or two select people. Canonically, he’s been generally attracted to women he’d like to date and men he thinks are cool. I think, for the most part, he’ll keep up this tendency in a place like Landel’s.
Given that this RP takes place in an unsettling and outright horrific environment, how do you justify your character as being appropriate in both body and mind for this kind of setting?:
Bret doesn’t seem like a particularly brave, strong, or clever individual. And it’s true-he’s not. But he has done brave things. He traveled across the world in hopes that he’d be able to make it as a musician. Moving is never an easy thing to do, and moving across the world? On the very slim chance that he’d be able to not only survive but be successful as a musician? Bret put his entire life on the line by doing this and could’ve failed spectacularly. But his idealism and his determination always manage to get him through things. Yes, he is meek but he is not completely weak. No, he’s not particularly muscular but he’s not out of shape either. He’s a fairly average person with a fairly average constitution and I don’t see that as any reason to keep him from getting by in any environment. Human beings are built to survive, and as goofy and bizarre as Bret and his canon are, he is ultimately very human, and I have faith in that resilience.
Third-Person Sample:
Bret had promised he wouldn’t lose any more sheep. He’d promised again and again, to the point where he no longer felt it meant anything and would really rather be anywhere but sitting there promising, but he’d done it. He’d said he wouldn’t lose another one.
And then he had anyway. Flip.
Okay, well, it wasn’t lost yet. Sammy (Bret had named him after he was lost; there were simply too many sheep to actually name all of them) had apparently walked off at some point before the final count, and now Bret was off in the hills, baa-ing hopefully into the quickly darkening twilight. Sammy was a very naughty sheep. He would have to be punished.
Bret couldn’t help but wonder if he was playing into some of the stereotypes he’d heard so much about back in New York. And, as odd as it was to think of it as ‘back in New York’ rather than ‘back in New Zealand’ because he really was ‘back in New Zealand’ now, it was even odder to think about how much he missed the xenophobia. And how people would call him Brit. And the girls.
Which was, perhaps, where the stereotype came from. The New Zealand girls weren’t horrible to look at, but when compared to some of the high-class ladies he’d had the pleasure of meeting in New York, well, the difference was noticeable. He’d never been that shallow, really, but he could see why people would joke about sheep being an alternative. As disgusting as it was to think about.
Why was he thinking about it again?
Oh, right. Sammy.
Jemaine was a little more shallow, Bret mused as he came over the top of one of the hills. Not by much, but he had always been a little more concerned about getting the hotter of any pair of girls they were interested in, even if it meant swapping a few times to be sure he got the right one. And he just seemed to be more focused on looks in general, sometimes. He’d written that weird song to compliment Bret once, which obviously meant he was aware of how Bret looked, which really just made it all weirder without even mentioning the wig and the spooning.
A sheep! And probably the sheep! Sammy! Bret spotted the little raincloud of a creature nestled amongst some bushes on the far side of one of the hills. Grinning triumphantly, he started to pick up the pace, twirling his walking stick with a flourish, like it was a giant drumstick. Yes, this was great! He’d usher Sammy back through the gate and get home just in time for tea! What a brilliant-
Oh, flip.
In his gleeful haste he hadn’t been watching where he was going, and apparently his foot had caught on a rock or an exposed root because now he was falling, tumbling head over heels down the hill and into the bushes, right past where Sammy was standing. He rolled once, no, twice more and then landed face down in the mud.
Spitting out a mouthful of earth, Bret scrambled to his feet, tossing his soiled scarf over his shoulder as he turned to face his prize. “Here, Sammy.”
“Baa.”
“Sammy, time to go home.”
“Baa.”
“Sammy, we don’t have time for this. The Dog Show is on tonight and-“
A shrill whistle rang out over the hills. Sammy and Bret turned in tandem to the source, and lo and behold Jemaine was coming over the hills, looking as grumpy as ever. “Bret, what are you doing? Just grab him and let’s go.”
“But I thought I should try reasoning with him first-“ Bret began, scratching his neck in an admittedly sheepish gesture.
“It’s a sheep, Bret!” Jemaine groaned, waving his shepherd’s hook in annoyance, “It doesn’t reason. It just-it’s just a dumb animal.”
Bret pouted, crossing his arms. He was almost offended on Sammy’s behalf. “You’re a dumb animal.”
“Well, you’re a dickhead.”
Bret’s mouth fell open. “You’re a dickhead, dickhead!”
Thus, though he wasn’t sure who started it, Bret found himself wrestling Jemaine to the ground and, after a few minutes of spirited roughhousing, ending up bested again. Curse Jemaine’s upper-body strength. And general bigger-than-him-ness. Jemaine took pleasure in pinning him down for a moment, but Bret managed to knock him off rather quickly (although maybe Jemaine was about to let him go anyway-it sounded as if he’d mumbled something about it being gay).
Panting, Bret turned to Sammy, who was still standing at attention. “So, home?” Bret asked.
“Baa,” said Sammy.
“Yeah, okay,” said Jemaine.
First-Person Sample:
Song Ideas
Tree
Beautiful girls
Boats
Pepileptic dogs
David Bowie tribute
Combination of all of them?
Once I climbed a tree,
And from there I could see,
Beautiful girls a-floatin’,
Because they were a-boatin’.
These nautical ladies did sail,
With only the help of one male,
For Major Tom was the admiral,
I should ask Jemaine for a rhyme for “admiral”.
Admirable? Abominable? Amaretto?
---
Completely optional question for first-time applicants: How did you find out about this RP and why are you interested in playing in it?:
I don’t know where I first heard about it-probably roleplay!secrets-but I didn’t become interested in playing at Damned until my friends apped and got in. They encouraged me to give it a try and well, it does look like a lot of fun!