do i ever cross your mind in the warm sunshine?
So while talking to vrbanac, we both realize we're kind of depressed due to dumb things...girls, relationships, etc. This will be a long post, so sit back and relax, bitch.
This week has been long. Sick for 2 days, come back and just don't feel like being at school. Tired of all the bullshit and all the people around me. Seems to me like there are only a select few who do NOT piss me off when i see them. It's way hard to keep friends when they're all acting so fuckin gay to the point of not even wanting to talk to them. And people just don't understand me. Today pissed me off because girls don't realize that almost everything a guy does is because of girls. Girls think Oh, it would be nice if guys did everything we told them. WTF? are you fuckin serious? 50% of the time guys do shit to make a girl happy or do something to get the attention of THAT girl. And right now, there is not one girl that i think about constantly, but instead all these girls that i know i have NO chance with, meaning that one of them is completely the wrong person to like just because of how she just has this image in her head about relationships. ONe has a bf, another likes some dood i know, another is in love with someone, and yet another has feelings for another person. And i guess i figured out that the perfect girl to like is obviously someone who does not piss me off, someone who makes my day better and makes me not feel depressed when i think about them. I have NOT found that person because i find myself totally turned off by something they say, do, or want. I find myself thinking, wow if i WAS with her, that would tick me off. For now, i think i'm done with girls. that was not a homosexual statement. instead, it is me saying i don't need this shit anymore. No more stress over nothing, no more sad thoughts, no more feeling sorry for myself. Fuck it.
And yes, for today, i'm sorry to that friend that i hurt. I don't know why what i did affected you so much, but i doubt you read this. In case you do, i'm sorry. May be your day sucked? May be something's going on that i don't know, but sorry. I wanted to talk to you but i just knew you were not ready to deal with me. So i'll leave you alone until i think you might actually want to talk to me. I don't want to say anything bad about the situation because may be im not clued into why you cried?
Oh, and to all the haters, uh fuckin calm down. OC fuckin rules.i don't care what you say or what you do, i'm still goin to watch it. What's the use of making fun of me when you know damn well i don't give a shit? cuz its funny? And i know people read this shit because you say shit to me that you would only know from reading this. So if you're going to read this, don't try and use it against me later to make me feel shitty or laugh at me. Fuck you it's called fuckin liveJOURNAL, you fuckin idiot. I say fuck a lot, i know OH WELL, eat a dick bitch.
That was my venting, may be ill delete this post later? aw fuck it i don't know. I signed on today because i felt like it. i tried goin a week without AIM, and it was okay. It wasn't like i was in need of going on, but i just felt like it. I needed/still need a change in my life. I'm tired of so many people/things. I hate people who are not as happy to see you as you are to see them. the select few who seem happy to see me when i see them, thanks. It makes me feel good and happy and makes my day. To those who aren't, expect a drastic change in how i act toward you when i see you and if i even say hi to you anymore.
That is all. was this long enough?
Night everyone. NO time during the weekend, but hit up the cell if you need to talk. My Aunt's SURPRISE birthday tomorrow, gonna be sweet.im gonna be lookin wayyyy Hollywood tomorrow night. USC sunday.
peeeeeeace