Couldn't be much more from the Heart
I am sorry to tell you, most of things you know about or of me, is a lie.
Most Parts, I've lied greatly when it comes to myself.
Why, you might ask, is because I haven't quite known myself to times.
I haven't quite been able to understand why I might was Random, Sad or Smart.
"Open mind, for a different view."
I am here to tell you all, I am me. And I am nothing but that. I might be sad, I might be Hyper and I might be Smart. I accept all of it myself.
I accept my personality - Tári, which was born 2-3 years ago. I accept Unknown (also called Dr.Watson) Which is the smarter me, And I also accept Karianne, The Sad me.
"Nothing else matters"
Friday, 29th of January.
Today, I, Mary Ann, Niclas and Ivan went to a random music room for some random bored-some reason i quite didn't get myself.
At least, we were inside and Niclas started playing the Piano. Metallica songs, because all of us loves these songs. Indeed surprisingly enough, "Nothing else matters" Came to all of our ears. Mary Ann Looked down and I assume she was sad, she looked like that. Niclas closed his eyes while playing living with the rhythm of the song, and at last Ivan stood there singing to the music. Niclas started singing as well, and the mood went quite good over hand.
"So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters"
It was when it was over, I realized, myself that along with them, I had been singing, and the song continued, and the three of us enjoyed the moment of music expressing all of our feelings in few words everyone understood.
"Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
and nothing else matters"
It made me think. It made me think of how bad I've been to myself. How bad I've been to you. I quite-fully am sorry for that.
"Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters"
It made me think of who i actually am, and I found the answer easier than thought of earlier. Searching for the same answer in almost 6 years without noticing it was right in front of me.
"never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
but I know"
I am Tári, The great Random Mistress of Randomness, none can take this fact away from me.
I am Also, most hopefully, Your friend.
I am also, the one becoming a great guitarist, (despite the fact my hand is ruined).
I am also, the same Gackt obsessive girl. Game obsessive girl. And Anime Obsessive girl as always.
This day has made me think.
This day has made me change my way of being.
I won't go into the old despair of Karianne, I will not be sad.
I will smile until my last day is over, no matter what.
I won't go off being smart and delightful of the other me.
I will stay Random.
I might not mean anything to you, and that's okay, i don't care.
You might not think you mean anything for me, But for everyone reading my feelings without throwing it away before trying to understand.
I love you. And I love you, because you are one of the few that tries.
Most of my friends know that I have it quite hard living at home, and they know how my parents are. (blind)
but I assure all of you. I won't care what they ever say, I won't even care what they ever think. That's their problems.
I won't care when they talk shit about my personality, I won't care when they complain about my friends.
I won't care about their Problems. I will be gone In a year, which might be quite unpleasant for them since I've been with them since i was born.
I am a Person of issues and a person with attitudes as weird as my clothing style.
I have my meanings, they will have to accept that, and I will accept their meanings.
(but to still hold it, I won't change mine because you are trying' to make me think pop is better than Rock. xD)
You won't change me. Because I am me, and all I ask from you, is to accept that. Accept my music, My clothing style and me myself. That's all i am ever gonna ask of you.
Thanks for your attention, it really helps thinking like this, And I know i will make it, so believe in me, i know i can do this. :3
~ReTárd~
Most Parts, I've lied greatly when it comes to myself.
Why, you might ask, is because I haven't quite known myself to times.
I haven't quite been able to understand why I might was Random, Sad or Smart.
"Open mind, for a different view."
I am here to tell you all, I am me. And I am nothing but that. I might be sad, I might be Hyper and I might be Smart. I accept all of it myself.
I accept my personality - Tári, which was born 2-3 years ago. I accept Unknown (also called Dr.Watson) Which is the smarter me, And I also accept Karianne, The Sad me.
"Nothing else matters"
Friday, 29th of January.
Today, I, Mary Ann, Niclas and Ivan went to a random music room for some random bored-some reason i quite didn't get myself.
At least, we were inside and Niclas started playing the Piano. Metallica songs, because all of us loves these songs. Indeed surprisingly enough, "Nothing else matters" Came to all of our ears. Mary Ann Looked down and I assume she was sad, she looked like that. Niclas closed his eyes while playing living with the rhythm of the song, and at last Ivan stood there singing to the music. Niclas started singing as well, and the mood went quite good over hand.
"So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters"
It was when it was over, I realized, myself that along with them, I had been singing, and the song continued, and the three of us enjoyed the moment of music expressing all of our feelings in few words everyone understood.
"Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
and nothing else matters"
It made me think. It made me think of how bad I've been to myself. How bad I've been to you. I quite-fully am sorry for that.
"Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters"
It made me think of who i actually am, and I found the answer easier than thought of earlier. Searching for the same answer in almost 6 years without noticing it was right in front of me.
"never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
but I know"
I am Tári, The great Random Mistress of Randomness, none can take this fact away from me.
I am Also, most hopefully, Your friend.
I am also, the one becoming a great guitarist, (despite the fact my hand is ruined).
I am also, the same Gackt obsessive girl. Game obsessive girl. And Anime Obsessive girl as always.
This day has made me think.
This day has made me change my way of being.
I won't go into the old despair of Karianne, I will not be sad.
I will smile until my last day is over, no matter what.
I won't go off being smart and delightful of the other me.
I will stay Random.
I might not mean anything to you, and that's okay, i don't care.
You might not think you mean anything for me, But for everyone reading my feelings without throwing it away before trying to understand.
I love you. And I love you, because you are one of the few that tries.
Most of my friends know that I have it quite hard living at home, and they know how my parents are. (blind)
but I assure all of you. I won't care what they ever say, I won't even care what they ever think. That's their problems.
I won't care when they talk shit about my personality, I won't care when they complain about my friends.
I won't care about their Problems. I will be gone In a year, which might be quite unpleasant for them since I've been with them since i was born.
I am a Person of issues and a person with attitudes as weird as my clothing style.
I have my meanings, they will have to accept that, and I will accept their meanings.
(but to still hold it, I won't change mine because you are trying' to make me think pop is better than Rock. xD)
You won't change me. Because I am me, and all I ask from you, is to accept that. Accept my music, My clothing style and me myself. That's all i am ever gonna ask of you.
Thanks for your attention, it really helps thinking like this, And I know i will make it, so believe in me, i know i can do this. :3
~ReTárd~