Voicemail
"Oh, hey! I was hoping you'd call. What's up?" There was a brief pause, a wait for an answer. "Oh, sweet. Yeah, I'm doing pretty good, too. Or... at least I was when I recorded this message. Because, yep, this is my voicemail. But leave me one and I'll call you back!"
[This should have gone up a while ago... oops?]
[This should have gone up a while ago... oops?]
"Dude, you are such an idiot. Why the hell would I want to go out with you? You kneed me in the groin and you creepily hang out with my lookalike. I think you're just wishing it was me by this point. Get a life."
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