on long, long absences
I haven't written in my LJ for a very long time. I can't really take the time to explain the interim; it was life, and so it goes, and so on. The best I can do is get right back into the swing of things, devoting myself to writing at least once a day here so I can get back on the right track.
One thing I can say is that I probably will not be doing fanfiction anymore. When I was younger (I laugh at myself for this; younger by two years, by three, by five--still younger, though I am by no means ancient or world-weary) I found such pleasure in playing in the worlds of other writers. So easy, I thought, such good practice, such fun. But the ease has lost its appeal; the practice, its value; the fun is no longer there. I have to challenge myself to write for myself, not using the rules of others. Writing shouldn't have rules, or limits; it's the imagination, isn't it? Why seal it inside a gilded cage? So maybe someday I'll think of writing character introspections and what-if scenarios again. Maybe. And if I do, that will be for me, just as much my own writing is for me.
But anyway. Let's celebrate with a song! :D This is Emmy Rossum's "Been Too Long," and really, honestly? It's the best way I can convey my feelings for this new phase of my writing.
September, the leaves were falling red and gold
And I remember the way you pulled me closer
Nothing else existed in the world we lived in
Hidden, we didn't see the storm was coming closer
That was then
But the time has come and gone
Nothing left but a broken story
We can't change, can't erase
Nothing that we can say now
Can't get back what we gave up
That was then, this is now
It's been too long
December, when we were
Drifting like the falling snow
Around us, but then a winter's chill
Blew through your heart
Mistakes we made
Didn't know what they'd change
The silence was so hard
But I am stronger for it
That was then
But the time has come and gone
Nothing left but a broken story
We can't change, can't erase
Nothing that we can say now
Can get back what we gave up
That was then, this is now
It's been too long
September, the leaves are
Falling gold again
And I remember the way we were
Something about Emmy Rossum's vocal arrangement in this song makes me want to lie flat on the floor with my eyes closed and think about things in the past. But not in a bad way. Just in a "Wow, look at how far I've come" way. I'm hoping that I can grow as a writer, and that I can make some of these characters and stories come to life.
One thing I can say is that I probably will not be doing fanfiction anymore. When I was younger (I laugh at myself for this; younger by two years, by three, by five--still younger, though I am by no means ancient or world-weary) I found such pleasure in playing in the worlds of other writers. So easy, I thought, such good practice, such fun. But the ease has lost its appeal; the practice, its value; the fun is no longer there. I have to challenge myself to write for myself, not using the rules of others. Writing shouldn't have rules, or limits; it's the imagination, isn't it? Why seal it inside a gilded cage? So maybe someday I'll think of writing character introspections and what-if scenarios again. Maybe. And if I do, that will be for me, just as much my own writing is for me.
But anyway. Let's celebrate with a song! :D This is Emmy Rossum's "Been Too Long," and really, honestly? It's the best way I can convey my feelings for this new phase of my writing.
September, the leaves were falling red and gold
And I remember the way you pulled me closer
Nothing else existed in the world we lived in
Hidden, we didn't see the storm was coming closer
That was then
But the time has come and gone
Nothing left but a broken story
We can't change, can't erase
Nothing that we can say now
Can't get back what we gave up
That was then, this is now
It's been too long
December, when we were
Drifting like the falling snow
Around us, but then a winter's chill
Blew through your heart
Mistakes we made
Didn't know what they'd change
The silence was so hard
But I am stronger for it
That was then
But the time has come and gone
Nothing left but a broken story
We can't change, can't erase
Nothing that we can say now
Can get back what we gave up
That was then, this is now
It's been too long
September, the leaves are
Falling gold again
And I remember the way we were
Something about Emmy Rossum's vocal arrangement in this song makes me want to lie flat on the floor with my eyes closed and think about things in the past. But not in a bad way. Just in a "Wow, look at how far I've come" way. I'm hoping that I can grow as a writer, and that I can make some of these characters and stories come to life.