My City's Still Breathing (But Barely, it's True)
01. Vanessa Josie Abrams was six weeks premature, a bundle of purple and red, screaming for oxygen and her place in the world. She nearly died, the doctors told her parents, their daughter silent now, in a glass case away from the dangers of the world.
She spent the first week and a half with her eyes closed shut.
Ever since she was old enough to understand, she vowed to keep them open.
02. The first boy she ever kissed was Teddy Grayson, four years older than her, a friend of her sisters. Spin the bottle was the order of the night, vodka mixed with orange soda and a faint blush on her cheek as he crawled over to her, the three second kiss feeling like three minutes.
He died in a car accident the year before. No one even knew she knew him.
03. She doesn’t plan on getting married. Sometimes she doubts her decision, but then she sees her parents and her mother’s unhappiness and her resolve is set again.
04. Vanessa doesn’t watch television, but she has Wonderfalls on DVD and Jaye Tyler is kind of her life coach. No joke.
05. College always meant structure and other people teaching her how to live instead of experiencing it for herself. The blind leading the blind, she would proclaim to anyone who was game enough to listen. Nate opened her eyes to college as an opportunity and a chance. She owes him more than he knows.
06. When she was twelve she rebelled against her parents; choosing polished black Mary-Janes over sandals, Freddie Prinze Jr. movies over Steve McQueen and disowning her ‘silly hippie parents’. Don’t tell anyone, but she still has her stack of Freddie movies hidden in the back of her closet.
(She’s All That is her favourite.)
07. She got stoned in Vermont. (Who wouldn’t? It’s Vermont.)
08. She’s still a virgin. She feels a bit silly sometimes, because even thought she’s fooled around with a few different guys, she held a torch for Dan for so long that it blew out. She feels a bit like a teen cliché sometimes, and as cynical as she is, she sorta, kinda, really wants it to be special.
09. Vanessa got her stubbornness from her father and as she comforts her mother at 2am for what feels like the hundredth time, she silently hopes that’s all she got.
10. The Humphrey men are her weakness; her affection for Dan the most obvious, her feelings for Rufus, nothing more than a school girl crush. But when she fixes up his gallery, plays Roadie at his gigs, helps him with his children, the half hugs and praise feels like so much more.
11. She doesn’t hate Blair, she’s just this unpleasant thing she has to deal with from time to time. Vanessa doesn’t care much for her manipulation and games - they have no effect - and her insults mean less to her than her money. Serena’s the snake in the grass; the reason she doesn’t let her walk behind her and she doesn’t dare tell Dan, because she knows exactly how that scenario would play out.
(For the record, she’d lose.)
12. Her parents wouldn’t let her and Ruby have pets, so instead they bought them pet rocks and the two sisters decorated them. She named hers Ernest, Ruby named hers Mr. Rock. When her first - and only - boyfriend cheated on her, Ruby threw hers through the windshield of his car. Vanessa still has hers, sitting on her dressing table, waiting.
13. She’s not superstitious, but she doesn’t walk under ladders, throws salt over her shoulder and avoids black cats like the plague.
Better safe than sorry.
14. She really liked Sarah. It wasn’t so much the betrayal that she hated; it was like feeling like a pawn in some little Upper East Side revenge game that got to her.
15. Sometimes the city makes her feel trapped. The skyscrapers close in around her, the air is too stifling, and the people make her claustrophobic. She loves it, but she needs to get out.
16. Whenever she feels disheartened, depressed or just plain down-on-her-luck, she just opens her eyes. She may not find the answer, but if anything, it’s a start.
She spent the first week and a half with her eyes closed shut.
Ever since she was old enough to understand, she vowed to keep them open.
02. The first boy she ever kissed was Teddy Grayson, four years older than her, a friend of her sisters. Spin the bottle was the order of the night, vodka mixed with orange soda and a faint blush on her cheek as he crawled over to her, the three second kiss feeling like three minutes.
He died in a car accident the year before. No one even knew she knew him.
03. She doesn’t plan on getting married. Sometimes she doubts her decision, but then she sees her parents and her mother’s unhappiness and her resolve is set again.
04. Vanessa doesn’t watch television, but she has Wonderfalls on DVD and Jaye Tyler is kind of her life coach. No joke.
05. College always meant structure and other people teaching her how to live instead of experiencing it for herself. The blind leading the blind, she would proclaim to anyone who was game enough to listen. Nate opened her eyes to college as an opportunity and a chance. She owes him more than he knows.
06. When she was twelve she rebelled against her parents; choosing polished black Mary-Janes over sandals, Freddie Prinze Jr. movies over Steve McQueen and disowning her ‘silly hippie parents’. Don’t tell anyone, but she still has her stack of Freddie movies hidden in the back of her closet.
(She’s All That is her favourite.)
07. She got stoned in Vermont. (Who wouldn’t? It’s Vermont.)
08. She’s still a virgin. She feels a bit silly sometimes, because even thought she’s fooled around with a few different guys, she held a torch for Dan for so long that it blew out. She feels a bit like a teen cliché sometimes, and as cynical as she is, she sorta, kinda, really wants it to be special.
09. Vanessa got her stubbornness from her father and as she comforts her mother at 2am for what feels like the hundredth time, she silently hopes that’s all she got.
10. The Humphrey men are her weakness; her affection for Dan the most obvious, her feelings for Rufus, nothing more than a school girl crush. But when she fixes up his gallery, plays Roadie at his gigs, helps him with his children, the half hugs and praise feels like so much more.
11. She doesn’t hate Blair, she’s just this unpleasant thing she has to deal with from time to time. Vanessa doesn’t care much for her manipulation and games - they have no effect - and her insults mean less to her than her money. Serena’s the snake in the grass; the reason she doesn’t let her walk behind her and she doesn’t dare tell Dan, because she knows exactly how that scenario would play out.
(For the record, she’d lose.)
12. Her parents wouldn’t let her and Ruby have pets, so instead they bought them pet rocks and the two sisters decorated them. She named hers Ernest, Ruby named hers Mr. Rock. When her first - and only - boyfriend cheated on her, Ruby threw hers through the windshield of his car. Vanessa still has hers, sitting on her dressing table, waiting.
13. She’s not superstitious, but she doesn’t walk under ladders, throws salt over her shoulder and avoids black cats like the plague.
Better safe than sorry.
14. She really liked Sarah. It wasn’t so much the betrayal that she hated; it was like feeling like a pawn in some little Upper East Side revenge game that got to her.
15. Sometimes the city makes her feel trapped. The skyscrapers close in around her, the air is too stifling, and the people make her claustrophobic. She loves it, but she needs to get out.
16. Whenever she feels disheartened, depressed or just plain down-on-her-luck, she just opens her eyes. She may not find the answer, but if anything, it’s a start.