I get called fat and ugly all the time! I haven't heard the 40 comment yet, but I'm sure it's just a few years down the line for me. Anyway, it sucks and it hurts. It's hard to say 'just don't listen to them!' when it's a consistent message from others, but sometimes people just have their heads screwed on wrong. Basically what I'm trying to say is, I can totally sympathize.
What about your sensei? Can you share these things with him?
Oddly enough, I haven't heard from Sensei in a while. He moved away nearly two years ago. I see him and train with him from time to time, but lately, whenever I call him, his phone says that he's on the other line. It's really strange. Doesn't matter what time of day I call. I sent him an email today, so maybe he'll get that instead
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that's all our US schools. I'm only really familiar with ours and the one in Boston, but I'm sure they're all great. Looks like in Florida there are also schools in Tampa, Melbourne, and North Port, but I've only been to the Temple in Orlando. Again, I'm sure they're excellent.
I wonder where your sensei studied in China... my Dad met the last living Wah Lum monk a long time ago, I'm pretty sure Wah Lum doesn't have any temples left over there. We definitely have ties with a lot of Shaolin Temples though, so maybe he studied at one of those.
Man, it really sucks when dysfunctionalism tends to screw things up for you. Instead, I offer you four lines from Rudyard Kipling's "If", as your current situation reminds me of those lines:
If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you But make allowance for their doubting too,
The day will come when I shall unshackle myself of the dysfunctionalism burden.
I don't know much about poetry, but I know that one. My step-father always kept a copy of it in his wallet. He told me he felt that it defined how he lived his life. Almost a year ago he was sentenced to prison for a crime he didn't commit. But before he left, he gave me the copy he kept and I keep it in my wallet now. I've been doing my best to fill his role of taking care of my family, so I try to live by those words now too.
You're absolutely right. No matter what anyone tells me or thinks of me, I control my own destiny. I've made the choices I have because I believe what I'm doing is right and because I believed I could do accomplish something great. I can't stop moving foward now.
Thanks, SA. You gave me a very important reminder of what my purpose was. I won't forget this time. :)
Funny thing about families - they can say the most hideous things and not have a clue how hurtful they are. Even if you point it out to them, they may not get it. In their minds they are just expressing their concerns. I wish I could say I was exempt from doing the same, but I know I've said things that hurt my sons when I was only trying to help
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Thanks, mom. :) And I agree with you. Life really isn't lived if you're just trying to stay safe. It's like Garth Brooks said, "Life is not tried, it is merely survived, if you're standing outside the fire."
As for being involved in wars, that's why I've decided to go in as an MP and not Infantry. I'll be escorting people and cargo or standing guard somewhere. I'm okay with protecting people, even if I have to fight to do it. I just don't want to be the guy they send in as their "hitman". I'm sure some might find that logic flawed, but I wouldn't push it on anyone else. It's just how I feel.
Besides, I'm trying to get myself stationed in either Korea or Germany if I can't stay in the US.
To add to the general consensus, you are not fat, nor are you ugly. It's very unfortunate that members of your family saw fit say such unpleasant things to you, though some people don't always seem to realize that words can have just as hurtful an effect upon a person as anything else does. Have you tried speaking with them about the nature of their comments to you?
God, I can't wait to leave. I don't want anyone to think that I'm doing this to run away from my life, because I'm not. But god, is it one hell of a perk.
(hugs) I can certainly understand that feeling. I hope everything goes well-although your high test great already goes to show that you are off to a good start-and that perhaps you and your father can come to some sort of a compromise before you leave. He may not like your decision, but it is your choice and not his to make. Anything can happen and I have no doubt that he would feel terribly if the last conversations he had with you were to berate you for your decision.
Well, the truth is that I've avoided recent pictures for a reason. Fat or not, I weigh more than I'd like. I suspect I'll be losing that in short order in the military though.
::hugs back:: Thanks. I feel better now. And I'll deal with my father. He may never come around, but whatever happens, at least I know I won't have any regrets.
Hey, I'm thinking of putting down Ft. Drum in New York as one of my requested assignments. If I get it, maybe we should get together sometime.
Well, the truth is that I've avoided recent pictures for a reason. Fat or not, I weigh more than I'd like. I suspect I'll be losing that in short order in the military though.
Ah, I see. Well, not see see, but understand, I mean.
::hugs back:: Thanks. I feel better now. And I'll deal with my father. He may never come around, but whatever happens, at least I know I won't have any regrets.
That is very good to know.
Hey, I'm thinking of putting down Ft. Drum in New York as one of my requested assignments. If I get it, maybe we should get together sometime.
Very interesting. Perhaps so, if the situations allows for it.
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What about your sensei? Can you share these things with him?
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that's all our US schools. I'm only really familiar with ours and the one in Boston, but I'm sure they're all great. Looks like in Florida there are also schools in Tampa, Melbourne, and North Port, but I've only been to the Temple in Orlando. Again, I'm sure they're excellent.
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If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
The day will come when I shall unshackle myself of the dysfunctionalism burden.
Reply
I don't know much about poetry, but I know that one. My step-father always kept a copy of it in his wallet. He told me he felt that it defined how he lived his life. Almost a year ago he was sentenced to prison for a crime he didn't commit. But before he left, he gave me the copy he kept and I keep it in my wallet now. I've been doing my best to fill his role of taking care of my family, so I try to live by those words now too.
You're absolutely right. No matter what anyone tells me or thinks of me, I control my own destiny. I've made the choices I have because I believe what I'm doing is right and because I believed I could do accomplish something great. I can't stop moving foward now.
Thanks, SA. You gave me a very important reminder of what my purpose was. I won't forget this time. :)
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As for being involved in wars, that's why I've decided to go in as an MP and not Infantry. I'll be escorting people and cargo or standing guard somewhere. I'm okay with protecting people, even if I have to fight to do it. I just don't want to be the guy they send in as their "hitman". I'm sure some might find that logic flawed, but I wouldn't push it on anyone else. It's just how I feel.
Besides, I'm trying to get myself stationed in either Korea or Germany if I can't stay in the US.
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God, I can't wait to leave. I don't want anyone to think that I'm doing this to run away from my life, because I'm not. But god, is it one hell of a perk.
(hugs) I can certainly understand that feeling. I hope everything goes well-although your high test great already goes to show that you are off to a good start-and that perhaps you and your father can come to some sort of a compromise before you leave. He may not like your decision, but it is your choice and not his to make. Anything can happen and I have no doubt that he would feel terribly if the last conversations he had with you were to berate you for your decision.
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::hugs back:: Thanks. I feel better now. And I'll deal with my father. He may never come around, but whatever happens, at least I know I won't have any regrets.
Hey, I'm thinking of putting down Ft. Drum in New York as one of my requested assignments. If I get it, maybe we should get together sometime.
Reply
Ah, I see. Well, not see see, but understand, I mean.
::hugs back:: Thanks. I feel better now. And I'll deal with my father. He may never come around, but whatever happens, at least I know I won't have any regrets.
That is very good to know.
Hey, I'm thinking of putting down Ft. Drum in New York as one of my requested assignments. If I get it, maybe we should get together sometime.
Very interesting. Perhaps so, if the situations allows for it.
Reply
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