Don't Marry Her, F**k Me

[weltschmerzed]

Last night, I dreamed SP was helping me organize things at my grandmother's house. I guess she was having a party of some kind, as several family members arrived while we were there. I think in my dream world, SP was a regular attendee of such gatherings, though it wasn't something I addressed. My brother was visiting, and kept randomly

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[weltschmerzed]

This sort of thing makes me wonder if I feel more deeply than the average person, contributing to my inability to express or understand my emotions properly.

Really, I think the devastation would be that he could find happiness with someone else and I can't.

I'm baffled by my continued interest in him.

[weltschmerzed]

I am. I spend every moment sorting through and analyzing my feelings, until I know exactly what and why they are. Because I don't understand them. They are irrational, and they trap me until I can process and re-shelve them where they belong.