Never Look Back - Part 1/?
Title: Never Look Back - Part 1
Author: wemwems
Genre: Drama, Adventure, Romance, AU
Pairings: JongKey, 2min for now :)
Rating: pg - Nc-17 depending on the chapter
Summary: After watching his brother, Kibum, sacrifice his freedom, Taemin has finally made it safely across the border into South Korea where he meets a charismatic young man named Minho and his friend Onew. They learn about Taemin's promise that he made to his brother before escaping to South Korea, and do all that they can to help Taemin fulfill his promise. Meanwhile, Jonghyun struggles between his duties between being a soldier, and helping Kibum, a childhood friend, escape from imprisonment.
A/N: Credits to oppa annyeonghase_yo for beta-ing :P and to unnie giveitupjessica for the virtual marshmallows
"Come ON Taemin keep up!" There were soldiers everywhere, guns in hands, with bright flashlights that were pointing dangerously close to the two brothers.
"Hyung I can't." Taemin cried. "Please, please slow down."
Kibum looked at his younger brother, frail and skinny to the bone because he hadn't eaten for 2 days, his usually bright hair dull, mattered and covered in shit. "Ugh. Get on my back. Hurry!" He felt like he was going to pass out from exhaustion. But he didn't have time to think about that. The only thing he could think about was getting across the boarder in to South Korea. It seemed like an impossible task. Soldiers were patrolling the area, forming a human barrier between the brothers and their destination. What was worse was the fact that if they were caught trying to escape, well they would probably send Kibum straight back to the concentration camp after a good and hard beating. But Taemin, he looked so small and fragile. They would have no use for him.
That was why Kibum and Taemin left their mother and sister behind in the North Korean concentration camp. It was time for the monthly wipe out. The soldiers came round to every family looking for those who had no use. 'Just a waste of food and air' they called them. But Kibum was not going to let them take his brother away.
They had been hiding for 6 days in sewers, empty graves, abandoned rotting churches, and ate whatever they could find. Kibum gave most of the food that he found to Taemin, which was hardly anything. They were slowly starting to starve to death. The only salvation and hope they had was to cross the boarder, to get in to South Korea and find any sort of work there. Kibum swore that after he had made a life for him and Taemin, he would come back and save his mother and sister. But first things first, how do they get across that boarder?
They had found a hiding place under one of the giant trucks with an open back used for transport. but they had to move soon. There was no telling when the driver would come back and take off, and Kibum had no intention of him and Taemin being squished by the giant vehicle after coming this far. And then Kibum saw the opportunity. The soldiers were paving way for loading trucks, similar to the one they were under, allowing them to cross. There was a long line of them. It would probably take about 5 minutes for the last one to cross.
Kibum had to think fast.
Tears fell from his eyes when he realised what would have to happen, but he quickly wiped them away before his younger brother could see. "Taemin, listen to me."
"Hyung?"
"You listen to me, and you be brave okay?"
"Hyung I'm scared." Kibum fought the battle of his life holding back his tears.
"In about 4 minutes I'm going to run over there. Look where I'm pointing!" Kibum pointed over to where a bunch of soldiers were eating dinner.
"No hyung! They'll catch you, it's okay I don't have to eat. We can find food later.."
"Shh Taemin. The second I start to scream, you run to the very last truck in that line." Kibum held his brother by his shoulders, willing him to concentrate on what he was saying. "You run as fast but as quietly as you can to that truck. They won't see you because they'll be dealing with me."
"NO! No hyung please, let's find another way."
"Taemin there IS no other way. We don't have time Taemin DON'T argue with me."
"Please hyung, I'm scared, I can't go alone." Taemin cried, and Kibum noticed that he was shaking, only to realise that he himself was shaking.
"You're 17 Taemin. You have to grow up. You're big brother can't always be there to protect you."
"But once they find you they'll…"
"Once they find me, you'll be on that truck and crossing that boarder."
"Bu…"
"There's no time. Taemin there's no time, listen to me. And promise me, promise me you'll do exactly what I say."
"Hyu…"
"Promise me!" Key shook Taemin's by the shoulders, eyes desperate.
"I, I promise."
"There are three things you have to do. First, you don't tell anyone your last name. You change it. You forget your old name. You are not a North Korean citizen. Do you hear me?" Taemin feebly nodded his head.
"Second, you do anything to find food. Do anything to feed yourself, to keep yourself alive. Okay?" Again, Taemin nodded.
"And lastly don't forget where you came from. Remember your family, remember we're here suffering. Come back for us one day."
"Hyung, I'll never forget! I'm going to get these bastards back for what they've done to us."
Key took Taemin in his arms and hugged his younger brother, quietly praying as he did so. Taemin clung on to his brother, weeping violently.
"Shhh Taemin. When you run, do not look at me. Don't look at what's happening to me. You keep your eye on that truck and you run and you get on it and you look forward. Okay? Look ahead! Don't look back."
"I..I understand." Taemin sobbed.
"Be brave. You're going to be brave okay?" And with the last 30 seconds they had left together, he sang Taemin the song his mother sang to them when they were just babies.
I know dark clouds will hover over me
I know my path is rough and steep
But golden fields are waiting
So no more will I weep"
And with each line of the song, Taemin gained a sense of courage, till he was no longer crying.
"I'm going Taemin. I love you. Don't forget." He said as a tear escaped his own eye.
"I'll never forget." Taemin promised. And suddenly Kibum pushed him away, and disappeared from Taemin's sight. Taemin kept his eye on the last truck, which had nearly reached the boarder. He didn't let his vision waver, and he waited for his brother's cry to signify that he could start running. He heard soldiers shouting: "What are you doing here!?" but he waited for that signal.
And then he heard it. He heard his brother's distinguishable scream. He ran as fast as his thin, weak legs could carry him. There were no soldiers standing in his way, since all of them were focused on whatever his brother was doing. But Taemin didn't dare look there, instead he latched on to the back of the truck, and using his last bit of fighting strength, he hauled himself inside. Around him he could feel cold, hard metal, and smelt the painful fumes of burning fuel. He hugged himself tightly, making himself as small as possible. He heard more shouting, and his heart seemed to stop when he heard the sound of a gunshot. He dared to lift his head out of the truck, only to catch a glimpse of his brother falling to the ground, swearing and cursing at the soldiers as he went down.
"Hyung!" he shouted without thinking, but then quickly covered his mouth realising what he had done. It seemed as though for the first time in his life, luck seemed to have fallen on him, since the soldiers didn't hear him.
For the next hour, Taemin didn't dare to move. He kept his head ducked down, body squeezed tightly. And for that hour, all that played in his head was the image of his brother falling to the floor, and the sound of the gunshot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jonghyun looked at himself in the mirror, hating what he saw. He wore his soldier uniform as a badge of shame. It made him feel weak and cowardly rather than brave like a soldier should be. The last thing Jonghyun wanted was to join the military. But, he just couldn't bear to be in one of those concentration camps. He knew what happened in there; he had heard the stories through gossip among the soldiers. Some had previously been stationed in the camp, and had seen what happened to the families in there. Talks of using the prisoners as experiments in gas chambers, public executions for stealing food or trying to escape - Jonghyun was not going to one of those camps.
Usually, once a person has committed a crime, their whole family is moved in to one of the many concentration camps. Any child born in to the family is condemned to a lifetime of imprisonment. Jonhyun's grandfather was a thief, but luckily his uncle was a General in the army. Jonghyun was given the choice of becoming a soldier, and he took it. But Jonghyun didn't want to hurt anybody. He didn't want to carry a gun around. He hated the look of fear on people's faces when he passed them.
He sighed deeply and went back outside to join his colleagues for a meal. There was no use in fretting over something that he couldn't change. He was shocked to see a huge commotion over by the table where everyone was supposed to be eating. He couldn't believe who he saw in the middle of the giant huddle, being surrounded and attacked by the other soldiers. Kim Kibum. But why? How did he end up here? And what the hell was he thinking running towards the soldiers like that. Amongst the hustle and bustle he heard a faint cry coming from one of the loading trucks. "Hyung!" He turned and saw a messy mop of light hair quickly disappear in to the back of the last truck. Against his better judgment, he followed his instinct and ignored what he saw. Anyway, he wanted to go and see what was going on with Kibum. He ran towards them.
"Guys! What's going on?"
The strongest soldier in the force, Taecyeon, had Kibum's hands pinned behind his back with one hand, the other hand grabbing his hair and pulling it back roughly.
"This punk is the one who escaped from Camp 22, his brother as well. Where the fuck is your scrawny little brother? We've got a death warrant to give to him."
"He's dead!" Kibum cried. Jonghyun's heart sank when he saw Kibum in that position. He wanted to do something to help him, anything to get rid of the look of anguish on his face. He didn't seem to recognize Jonghyun, but he didn't expect him to. He looked a lot different that he used to.
"LIAR!" Taecyeon pushed him to floor so he landed with a thud on his back. "You're gonna tell me where the fuck that kid is or I'll blow your pretty little head off." He put a gun right to Kibum's forehead and pulled the trigger. Jonghyun panicked a bit, trying to figure out how to get Kibum out of this situation. Without thinking he lifted his own gun out of its holster and fired a shot right next to Kibum's head. Kibum screamed out loud, for the shot fell only millimetres short from grazing his left ear.
"Jjong!!" Kyuhyun shouted at him. "Don't shoot him without orders! We could have gotten in serious trouble if you didn't miss!"
"Sorry, I'm not thinking straight." he mumbled. He looked down at Kibum who was silently crying to himself.
"Hey pansy. Get up." Taecyeon kicked him. "Consider yourself lucky that Jjong here didn't shoot you. In fact, maybe you should thank him."
"Shut up Taec. Let's just forget about it."
"No. I want him to thank you not blowing his faggot brains out." He lifted Kibum up roughly by his hair and turned him so he was facing Jonghyun. "Thank him!!"
Kibum looked up at Jonghyun with complete hate in his eyes. More than anything, he wanted to pull Kibum out of Taecyeon's hands and comfort him, give him food and water, and to explain what he was doing there. And then out of nowhere, Kibum opened his mouth and threw a wad of spit right on Jonghyun's left cheek.
"What the FUCK?!" Taecyeon shouted his reflexes caused him to kick Kibum hard in the groin. Kibum was down on his knees, crying in pain. Kyuhyun took out his gun and pointed it right between his legs.
"I should shoot your dick right off for spitting in a soldier's face. Who the fuck do you think you're messing with?"
Kibum writhed on the floor, thrashing about because of the strength of Taecyeon's kick.
"Look guys. Just leave him. Let me take him to the general."
"You sure Jjong? I'll come with you." Kyuhyun said as he grabbed Kibum by the neck of his shirt and dragged him towards the car.
"Wait. Kyu, let me take him. I want to deal with him myself." Kyuhyun dropped him harshly on to the ground again, a grunt escaping from Kibum.
"Suit yourself."
The rest of the soldiers went back to their meal while Jonghyun walked slowly towards Kibum, who was lying on the floor face down.
"Are… are you okay?" he whispered. Kibum didn't answer him. Jonghyun picked him up, helping him to his feet. "Come on, let's get to the car. There's a first aid kit in there." He could feel Kibum shaking in his arms, and heard him softly weeping. "Shhh, it's okay. You'll be okay."
He felt Kibum relax and collapse in to his arms. Jonghyun felt lucky that he was there when Kibum got caught. Now he could take care of him. "Maybe this is my chance to make up for all the people I've hurt as a soldier." he thought to himself. "I'm sorry Kibum. I didn't ever want to see you here, like this. I know you don't recognise me. But I've known you my whole life. I'm going to protect you." he whispered, so silently that he was sure Kibum wouldn't be able to hear it. "You've got nothing to worry about. I'm here."
A/N: If you have free time and you're interested in knowing more about North Korean concentration camps then follow this link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_rights_in_North_Korea
Author: wemwems
Genre: Drama, Adventure, Romance, AU
Pairings: JongKey, 2min for now :)
Rating: pg - Nc-17 depending on the chapter
Summary: After watching his brother, Kibum, sacrifice his freedom, Taemin has finally made it safely across the border into South Korea where he meets a charismatic young man named Minho and his friend Onew. They learn about Taemin's promise that he made to his brother before escaping to South Korea, and do all that they can to help Taemin fulfill his promise. Meanwhile, Jonghyun struggles between his duties between being a soldier, and helping Kibum, a childhood friend, escape from imprisonment.
A/N: Credits to oppa annyeonghase_yo for beta-ing :P and to unnie giveitupjessica for the virtual marshmallows
"Come ON Taemin keep up!" There were soldiers everywhere, guns in hands, with bright flashlights that were pointing dangerously close to the two brothers.
"Hyung I can't." Taemin cried. "Please, please slow down."
Kibum looked at his younger brother, frail and skinny to the bone because he hadn't eaten for 2 days, his usually bright hair dull, mattered and covered in shit. "Ugh. Get on my back. Hurry!" He felt like he was going to pass out from exhaustion. But he didn't have time to think about that. The only thing he could think about was getting across the boarder in to South Korea. It seemed like an impossible task. Soldiers were patrolling the area, forming a human barrier between the brothers and their destination. What was worse was the fact that if they were caught trying to escape, well they would probably send Kibum straight back to the concentration camp after a good and hard beating. But Taemin, he looked so small and fragile. They would have no use for him.
That was why Kibum and Taemin left their mother and sister behind in the North Korean concentration camp. It was time for the monthly wipe out. The soldiers came round to every family looking for those who had no use. 'Just a waste of food and air' they called them. But Kibum was not going to let them take his brother away.
They had been hiding for 6 days in sewers, empty graves, abandoned rotting churches, and ate whatever they could find. Kibum gave most of the food that he found to Taemin, which was hardly anything. They were slowly starting to starve to death. The only salvation and hope they had was to cross the boarder, to get in to South Korea and find any sort of work there. Kibum swore that after he had made a life for him and Taemin, he would come back and save his mother and sister. But first things first, how do they get across that boarder?
They had found a hiding place under one of the giant trucks with an open back used for transport. but they had to move soon. There was no telling when the driver would come back and take off, and Kibum had no intention of him and Taemin being squished by the giant vehicle after coming this far. And then Kibum saw the opportunity. The soldiers were paving way for loading trucks, similar to the one they were under, allowing them to cross. There was a long line of them. It would probably take about 5 minutes for the last one to cross.
Kibum had to think fast.
Tears fell from his eyes when he realised what would have to happen, but he quickly wiped them away before his younger brother could see. "Taemin, listen to me."
"Hyung?"
"You listen to me, and you be brave okay?"
"Hyung I'm scared." Kibum fought the battle of his life holding back his tears.
"In about 4 minutes I'm going to run over there. Look where I'm pointing!" Kibum pointed over to where a bunch of soldiers were eating dinner.
"No hyung! They'll catch you, it's okay I don't have to eat. We can find food later.."
"Shh Taemin. The second I start to scream, you run to the very last truck in that line." Kibum held his brother by his shoulders, willing him to concentrate on what he was saying. "You run as fast but as quietly as you can to that truck. They won't see you because they'll be dealing with me."
"NO! No hyung please, let's find another way."
"Taemin there IS no other way. We don't have time Taemin DON'T argue with me."
"Please hyung, I'm scared, I can't go alone." Taemin cried, and Kibum noticed that he was shaking, only to realise that he himself was shaking.
"You're 17 Taemin. You have to grow up. You're big brother can't always be there to protect you."
"But once they find you they'll…"
"Once they find me, you'll be on that truck and crossing that boarder."
"Bu…"
"There's no time. Taemin there's no time, listen to me. And promise me, promise me you'll do exactly what I say."
"Hyu…"
"Promise me!" Key shook Taemin's by the shoulders, eyes desperate.
"I, I promise."
"There are three things you have to do. First, you don't tell anyone your last name. You change it. You forget your old name. You are not a North Korean citizen. Do you hear me?" Taemin feebly nodded his head.
"Second, you do anything to find food. Do anything to feed yourself, to keep yourself alive. Okay?" Again, Taemin nodded.
"And lastly don't forget where you came from. Remember your family, remember we're here suffering. Come back for us one day."
"Hyung, I'll never forget! I'm going to get these bastards back for what they've done to us."
Key took Taemin in his arms and hugged his younger brother, quietly praying as he did so. Taemin clung on to his brother, weeping violently.
"Shhh Taemin. When you run, do not look at me. Don't look at what's happening to me. You keep your eye on that truck and you run and you get on it and you look forward. Okay? Look ahead! Don't look back."
"I..I understand." Taemin sobbed.
"Be brave. You're going to be brave okay?" And with the last 30 seconds they had left together, he sang Taemin the song his mother sang to them when they were just babies.
I know dark clouds will hover over me
I know my path is rough and steep
But golden fields are waiting
So no more will I weep"
And with each line of the song, Taemin gained a sense of courage, till he was no longer crying.
"I'm going Taemin. I love you. Don't forget." He said as a tear escaped his own eye.
"I'll never forget." Taemin promised. And suddenly Kibum pushed him away, and disappeared from Taemin's sight. Taemin kept his eye on the last truck, which had nearly reached the boarder. He didn't let his vision waver, and he waited for his brother's cry to signify that he could start running. He heard soldiers shouting: "What are you doing here!?" but he waited for that signal.
And then he heard it. He heard his brother's distinguishable scream. He ran as fast as his thin, weak legs could carry him. There were no soldiers standing in his way, since all of them were focused on whatever his brother was doing. But Taemin didn't dare look there, instead he latched on to the back of the truck, and using his last bit of fighting strength, he hauled himself inside. Around him he could feel cold, hard metal, and smelt the painful fumes of burning fuel. He hugged himself tightly, making himself as small as possible. He heard more shouting, and his heart seemed to stop when he heard the sound of a gunshot. He dared to lift his head out of the truck, only to catch a glimpse of his brother falling to the ground, swearing and cursing at the soldiers as he went down.
"Hyung!" he shouted without thinking, but then quickly covered his mouth realising what he had done. It seemed as though for the first time in his life, luck seemed to have fallen on him, since the soldiers didn't hear him.
For the next hour, Taemin didn't dare to move. He kept his head ducked down, body squeezed tightly. And for that hour, all that played in his head was the image of his brother falling to the floor, and the sound of the gunshot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jonghyun looked at himself in the mirror, hating what he saw. He wore his soldier uniform as a badge of shame. It made him feel weak and cowardly rather than brave like a soldier should be. The last thing Jonghyun wanted was to join the military. But, he just couldn't bear to be in one of those concentration camps. He knew what happened in there; he had heard the stories through gossip among the soldiers. Some had previously been stationed in the camp, and had seen what happened to the families in there. Talks of using the prisoners as experiments in gas chambers, public executions for stealing food or trying to escape - Jonghyun was not going to one of those camps.
Usually, once a person has committed a crime, their whole family is moved in to one of the many concentration camps. Any child born in to the family is condemned to a lifetime of imprisonment. Jonhyun's grandfather was a thief, but luckily his uncle was a General in the army. Jonghyun was given the choice of becoming a soldier, and he took it. But Jonghyun didn't want to hurt anybody. He didn't want to carry a gun around. He hated the look of fear on people's faces when he passed them.
He sighed deeply and went back outside to join his colleagues for a meal. There was no use in fretting over something that he couldn't change. He was shocked to see a huge commotion over by the table where everyone was supposed to be eating. He couldn't believe who he saw in the middle of the giant huddle, being surrounded and attacked by the other soldiers. Kim Kibum. But why? How did he end up here? And what the hell was he thinking running towards the soldiers like that. Amongst the hustle and bustle he heard a faint cry coming from one of the loading trucks. "Hyung!" He turned and saw a messy mop of light hair quickly disappear in to the back of the last truck. Against his better judgment, he followed his instinct and ignored what he saw. Anyway, he wanted to go and see what was going on with Kibum. He ran towards them.
"Guys! What's going on?"
The strongest soldier in the force, Taecyeon, had Kibum's hands pinned behind his back with one hand, the other hand grabbing his hair and pulling it back roughly.
"This punk is the one who escaped from Camp 22, his brother as well. Where the fuck is your scrawny little brother? We've got a death warrant to give to him."
"He's dead!" Kibum cried. Jonghyun's heart sank when he saw Kibum in that position. He wanted to do something to help him, anything to get rid of the look of anguish on his face. He didn't seem to recognize Jonghyun, but he didn't expect him to. He looked a lot different that he used to.
"LIAR!" Taecyeon pushed him to floor so he landed with a thud on his back. "You're gonna tell me where the fuck that kid is or I'll blow your pretty little head off." He put a gun right to Kibum's forehead and pulled the trigger. Jonghyun panicked a bit, trying to figure out how to get Kibum out of this situation. Without thinking he lifted his own gun out of its holster and fired a shot right next to Kibum's head. Kibum screamed out loud, for the shot fell only millimetres short from grazing his left ear.
"Jjong!!" Kyuhyun shouted at him. "Don't shoot him without orders! We could have gotten in serious trouble if you didn't miss!"
"Sorry, I'm not thinking straight." he mumbled. He looked down at Kibum who was silently crying to himself.
"Hey pansy. Get up." Taecyeon kicked him. "Consider yourself lucky that Jjong here didn't shoot you. In fact, maybe you should thank him."
"Shut up Taec. Let's just forget about it."
"No. I want him to thank you not blowing his faggot brains out." He lifted Kibum up roughly by his hair and turned him so he was facing Jonghyun. "Thank him!!"
Kibum looked up at Jonghyun with complete hate in his eyes. More than anything, he wanted to pull Kibum out of Taecyeon's hands and comfort him, give him food and water, and to explain what he was doing there. And then out of nowhere, Kibum opened his mouth and threw a wad of spit right on Jonghyun's left cheek.
"What the FUCK?!" Taecyeon shouted his reflexes caused him to kick Kibum hard in the groin. Kibum was down on his knees, crying in pain. Kyuhyun took out his gun and pointed it right between his legs.
"I should shoot your dick right off for spitting in a soldier's face. Who the fuck do you think you're messing with?"
Kibum writhed on the floor, thrashing about because of the strength of Taecyeon's kick.
"Look guys. Just leave him. Let me take him to the general."
"You sure Jjong? I'll come with you." Kyuhyun said as he grabbed Kibum by the neck of his shirt and dragged him towards the car.
"Wait. Kyu, let me take him. I want to deal with him myself." Kyuhyun dropped him harshly on to the ground again, a grunt escaping from Kibum.
"Suit yourself."
The rest of the soldiers went back to their meal while Jonghyun walked slowly towards Kibum, who was lying on the floor face down.
"Are… are you okay?" he whispered. Kibum didn't answer him. Jonghyun picked him up, helping him to his feet. "Come on, let's get to the car. There's a first aid kit in there." He could feel Kibum shaking in his arms, and heard him softly weeping. "Shhh, it's okay. You'll be okay."
He felt Kibum relax and collapse in to his arms. Jonghyun felt lucky that he was there when Kibum got caught. Now he could take care of him. "Maybe this is my chance to make up for all the people I've hurt as a soldier." he thought to himself. "I'm sorry Kibum. I didn't ever want to see you here, like this. I know you don't recognise me. But I've known you my whole life. I'm going to protect you." he whispered, so silently that he was sure Kibum wouldn't be able to hear it. "You've got nothing to worry about. I'm here."
A/N: If you have free time and you're interested in knowing more about North Korean concentration camps then follow this link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_rights_in_North_Korea