A Guy Like You
Title: A Guy Like You
Author: wenchman
Series: Hetalia World Series
Characters: United States of America, Nederlands
Pairings: US/Nederlands
Rating: M for Sexual Content
Summary: Commission. Prompt was US/Nederlands with implicit sexual content. 3000 words.
Word count: 3148
--
Fast cars, corporations, technology, and big money. That's the way things ran in the US. So it was no surprise that a cheerful guy like Alfred, who was here, then there, then that other place could make so many friends. Despite natural disasters, civil unrest, budget deficit, dysfunctional Congress and tension in foreign relations, he would not show it. Of course it affected him. But he would not show it. He wouldn't say a single word. His friends certainly didn't want to hear it-they lived just as much in this world as he did! So for that little while, before they age past him, he figures he can be a good friend and give them one hell of a time.
So it was a big mystery to the nosier nations how a guy like Ned could possibly be so fond of him. Ned, who was tall, stoic, and generally unpleasant.
Ned: that's what Alfred called him. Short for Nederlands. The name was quick and simple like the days that rushed by in Alfred's life. It was also affectionate, just the way Alfred likes it. It was funny to him-giving such a childish nick-name to such a serious nation like the Nederlands. Every time Alfred would call him that, he'd chuckle to himself before he could even finish a sentence.
It brought a smile to Ned's face.
There were honestly very few people who could get Ned to smile that way. That is, a genuinely amused grin. The smiles he offered to his sister were warm and loving, not like the sort of entertained grin that plastered his jaws at Alfred's foolishness. That's what Alfred did for him-amused him. Not necessarily the sort of condescending amusement like when that flea Antonio gets a black eye from his bratty boyfriend. Rather, it was sincere, true, one-hundred percent comedy, provided by his buddy Alfred. Not a lot of people could say, or even think to do that.
That's what Alfred gave him; an escape from the stern facade he put up each and every day. Alfred makes him hoot in laughter, raise his brow in amazement, pull the pipe from his lips in curious astonishment, or sometimes it falls out when Nederlands is choking to catch a breath. Alfred was able to yank Nederlands aside from his worries and get him to laugh, share sports news (even though they hardly understood each others' national sports), have a drink or two, and enjoy some honest, carefree company.
But it's not all fast and busy fun like it's being made out to be. Ned was able to do something for Alfred, too. Nederlands didn't need to go to the club or movies or the city to have a good time. They could sit on the sofa all day and that was perfect for Alfred. Alfred could laugh and joke like usual, perhaps have something to stuff his face while he sat himself down, feet reclined and shoulders back, just for a little bit. He didn't need to entertain, to impress, or to amuse. He could just cool down with a friend after a long week, and not overwhelm himself with things to do for once.
It was perfectly alright with Alfred to have some time to relax. He needed it-desperately at that. As much as he loved an uptempo, adventure-filled life, sometimes it was too much for him to handle. Alfred watched himself grow progressively more exhausted, especially when it was becoming nearly impossible to trudge out of bed to start another noisy day. Shower, put on clothes, go to work, see friends. That's all life really was on a daily basis. It was becoming more and more difficult to be the friendly guy, as his lack of rest started to nag at his mood. So when Nederlands came around and was willing to provide a place of rest, of course Alfred took up such an offer. It was the most pleasant thing for him to wake up and be well-rested for a few days of the month. Even better to wake up and see a good friend first thing in the morning.
Alfred couldn't tell what made Ned so charismatic, but it had something to do with his calm demeanor, his cool attitude, and confident decisions that helped Alfred to succumb to him every now and then. It was possibly how those green eyes watched him intently as his arousal was handled. Rough, intense, passionate-just the way Alfred liked it. Sex was just a casual thing to him, but there was something that kept him so attracted, and perhaps almost addicted to what Ned gave him.
Perhaps it was because Alfred loved fighting back as much as Ned did. He loved leaving scratches, bite marks and red skin on Ned's tight ass. Alfred loved his wide shoulders, his pert nipples, and the way his hands moved with so much casual ease from one place to the next. Alfred loved watching his muscles tense as he pushed back, his eyes glint with mischievously when he shoved Ned on the bed, couch, or chair, and began to fumble to get inside his pants.
Ned found himself quite attracted as well. How comfortable, how open, how willing Alfred was to engage, to fight back, to tease and taunt. It challenged him, but not so much to piss him off like most people had. The feisty retaliation was only enough to intrigue Ned to dominate more. He loved the battles of touching, kissing, biting, and licking to see who would end up on top that night. He loved to grab at Alfred's sculpted arms on moment, then that uncharacteristic soft stomach of his the next. He loved to bite at Alfred's neck, then go down to the collarbone, leaving small bruises as a trail of evidence.
Sex was always a casual thing for the two, so the both of them couldn't figure out exactly what it was that caused them to continue to come back to each other. Perhaps it was the ease, the comfort, the serenity they had when they were in each other's presence. Alfred enjoyed Ned's. Ned enjoyed Alfred's. The two looked forward to each other's company. Not just for sex, of course. Although it was a nice perk, it was still just a very casual, insignificant part of their friendship. They could fuck almost anyone without any sort of emotional attachment. They were simply friends, and that was all.
It certainly wasn't love. Alfred couldn't love a man. That, and Nederlands simply wasn't interested. Both realized, knew, and fully understood that they were nations. For nations, getting married caused international turmoil, for many complicated reasons that Alfred didn't yet understand, and perhaps never would. Nederlands had seen it happen, and didn't want to get involved with the political mess. So, they were left to be lonely, without the chance of a real relationship. In a way, Ned and Alfred needed each other not really as a way to escape their everyday rituals, but to have someone they could exert their wandering affections on. They were both in quite a tricky disposition, but neither of them minded. When it was so needed, they could simply grab at a beer or grab at each other.
That's all it was to them. It was just a pleasure that neither of them could find in anyone else. Alfred couldn't find that collected, attractive, powerful way of presence in anyone else. Ned couldn't find the rough sort of playfulness Alfred had in anyone else, either. There was no reason to search anywhere else when it was right in front of them. Neither of them wasted time on such a pointless effort. It was all right here, everything they needed, so every few weeks a friend could do nothing better than a simple favour. No strings attached.
At least, that's what was intended.
Alfred was young, and friendly, but as far as the other nations went, lonely. He could find a girl in no time, but he could never keep her for long. It was an implicit sort of rule that no nation should ever find a relationship in another human, and besides, he couldn't deal with not being able to keep one woman for life. There would be a day where she would mature past him, and he would never have grown up. He would have to explain to her what he truly was. Very few people have known what Alfred is-immortal, unless the people in or out his home destroyed him. The average woman couldn't understand that kind of existence.
That's what Alfred understood about them. He knew that people simply couldn't know or understand him in return. Alfred knows what it is like to not know who he is, fighting himself consistently for a contradicting opinion. Alfred knows what it is like to dominate world powers in battle. He knows what it is like to protect friends, as well as harm them until they could be friends no longer. He has felt the great wounds as his people destroyed each other, which in turn destroyed him. He knows what it is like to wake up with a gash in his chest one morning, and to be throwing up his economy the next.
Not any human could understand that.
Alfred knew that Ned could, though. Although Ned was lucky enough to have to suffer such rapid and radical changes in such few and tumulus teen years, he knows struggles unlike Alfred ever could imagine. Ned has fought in bloody battles over something like religion, not unlike the world today. He had been ruthlessly dominated by Catholics for their economic and political gain. He watched as his naive sister was betrayed by kings and leaders of her own and foreign nations. He watched as she was trampled and battered during the World Wars, when ruthless nations decided she was a perfect battlefield. He had fought for nations he owned and loved in lands across the seas, which he had never seen nor knew, back in the days when one had to actually look in the face of the enemy in order to kill him. It hardened Ned, but in a a way made him so soft to Alfred.
It was Ned's veiled, yet compassionate layer and subtle desire to watch over Alfred that made him, in a strange sort of way, confused and doubt his own affections. Alfred discovered that he was becoming increasingly interested in Ned. He was already attracted, at that point. But now there was a particular interest as an addition. Alfred would want to visit more often, see him more often, spend time with him more often. It was a strange, almost womanish desire to casually ease into Ned's life, until he was constantly with him.
And that's exactly what he attempted to do.
Ned didn't particularly notice at first. It was of no concern to him, no unusualness. People had come and go to see him: his sister, that God-forsaken Antonio, different diplomats, ambassadors and businessmen. Friends would occasionally stay, some more often than others. To him, Alfred was just in the more-often-than-others category. Sometimes he was there on the weekends, occasionally in the week. They would chat during the meetings, outings, and visits, and had sex more often than they probably should. It didn't bother Nederlands-Alfred was young and he supposed it made up for the somewhat infrequent copulating he had done since he became consumed in business. Seeing Alfred wasn't really a terrible thing to Ned. He would simply notice Alfred was around, and enjoy his presence while he was there.
It had really only dawned upon him that something was unusual when Alfred began to make even more excuses just to stay over. Ned had experienced this with other people in the past, but the naivety and slight blatancy Alfred presented himself with was more amusing than most. It became very obvious to Ned that Alfred lacked experience with men, and managed to figure out what Alfred was doing when he tricked Alfred into admitting he just wanted to be with him. Ned smirked when Alfred's face was filled with slight fear, and quite a bit of embarrassment.
The kid was adorable, that was for sure. But Ned couldn't decide what to do. As entertaining as he thought this could be, he didn't want to harm a young, foolish, and wonderful friend like Alfred. So he decided it was easiest to wait and hope that the infatuation was simply a muddled phase.
But instead, Alfred just became more infatuated. His heart would bubble when he visited. He would go out of his way to say something, anything to catch his attention and have a discussion, about the stupidest things even. He had even changed from a playful challenger to a an affectionate partner: something that caught Ned by surprise, although he didn't mind. Alfred's friends saw him less, and he was less willing to see them. He didn't particularly need them anymore, so long as he had Ned to be around.
Despite Alfred tried to hide it, Ned could see it. He'd be damned to say he could, so he just continued to try and let the phase dwindle despite the evidence that it could last. The passes, comments, and increasing need for attention didn't particularly bother Ned, but he wondered if he was leading Alfred on. Ned continued to do nothing, which allowed Alfred to do more. It was subtle, gradual, but very much obvious. Alfred was around more often, not needing something to do, but to be there with Ned. Alfred was hesitant to leave, and full of joy when he arrived. He demonstrated a constant kindness, an effort to impress and show he cared about Ned, as if he didn't know. Alfred simply wanted to make him happy.
It was hardly any surprise to Ned when Alfred admitted why he had been acting like this.
The rejection had devastated Alfred. But Ned simply wasn't interested. He admired the easy going nature of their friendship, but didn't want commitment. Saying no pained him, but not quite as much the hurt plastered on Alfred's face. It was never Ned's intention to harm Alfred, nor was it to get the relationship this far. Ned could only apologize, and brush his guilt off as his eyes looked past Alfred, at anything but Alfred; the confrontation was unbearable, and the air was growing intolerably intense. He had never wanted to crush a young, hopeful heart; especially not one as wonderful as Alfred's.
It was understandable how hurt, crushed, and disappointed Alfred was. Although he could change his face to a lighthearted, easygoing grin at one moment to avoid worrying Ned, it didn't last. Alfred had believed he had something. He could have something he loved without worrying about it going away. Ned wouldn't have had ages past him him. Ned made him happy, comfortable, and relieved. No one else gave him that. And so suddenly, it was gone, never able to be taken back. The comfort, ease, sex, laughing, jokes and time with him could still exist if he hadn't have opened his young, foolish mouth. For the first time in a very long time, Alfred felt the tingling loss of naivety as anger slithered in.
He went days, to weeks, to a couple of months without a word to Ned. Their passings in corridors and buildings were lopsided with a cold glare from the warm one, and a warm smile from the cold one. Not a word was spoken, with the exception of necessary exchange of words during meetings and conferences. Despite Alfred's Boss warned him of how relations could be affected, Alfred grinned and paid no mind. Perhaps it did mean that relations weren't of strong-of course, they weren't, but Alfred wasn't going to try and explain to his Boss. He wasn't going to explain to his friends why he wasn't cheerful as always, either, he just said he was having a rough time at work and needed some time alone. Maybe it would get him back to normal. Maybe that would get Ned back.
Alfred was missing everything. Every opportunity, every chance, every willing opening Ned gave to allow him in again. Ned missed Alfred just as much as Alfred missed Ned. He offered his hand occasionally, or tried to engage in conversation. It never worked. Each time he felt he was coming close, his efforts were ignored, or denied with a sarcastic sneer and a cold remark. Ned even did the unheard of himself, and publicly complimented Alfred. It was all to no avail. Every effort, every attempt, every pitiful denial worried Ned even more.
He was becoming desperate. There was nothing he could do. He had harmed his friend, and it appeared as if all was lost. So with each having given up, they grew apart. No words, no visits, no glances, absolutely nothing. Ned had accepted there was nothing he could do. Alfred accepted Ned would not be his, and he had to get over it. He was so young, so stupid he would tell himself over and over, as Ned was across the sea trying to figure out exactly where he had fucked up, and how he could fix it. There was not hate on either side, except for the ones that grew out of themselves.
So after a while of long, quiet melancholy, they got over it like men usually do. When they passed in meetings, there was no need to greet, and no awkwardness if they did. They could discuss during meetings and meet each other with their Bosses, and still have a pleasant time. It became easy to laugh at one another, to converse with one another. It became increasingly easy to enjoy one another's company, at least casually, but they didn't go out of their way to see each other.
It was only after a few too many drinks that they got thinking again.
A few too many drinks and a warm smile.
Alfred grinned back, eyes lit with drunken amusement. That was a think about Ned he admired-that warm smile. He continued to laugh, growing increasingly nervous. Ned began to laugh as well. It was that cheerful attitude of Alfred's he had cherished, wasn't it?
Alfred laughed once again, a little bit harder this time. Ned's grin widened in amusement. Each wondered what was going through the other's mind, but that didn't matter too much, because Ned was more concerned about getting Alfred home safe. Alfred was more than happy to have somewhere to stay, and obliged to Ned's hospitality.
Alfred lied on Ned's sofa, grinning cheekily at him as Ned chuckled somewhat deliriously. They bid each other a goodnight's rest, and Alfred tossed the covers over him.
Everything would work out, they supposed. Friends usually end up alright.
--
Author: wenchman
Series: Hetalia World Series
Characters: United States of America, Nederlands
Pairings: US/Nederlands
Rating: M for Sexual Content
Summary: Commission. Prompt was US/Nederlands with implicit sexual content. 3000 words.
Word count: 3148
--
Fast cars, corporations, technology, and big money. That's the way things ran in the US. So it was no surprise that a cheerful guy like Alfred, who was here, then there, then that other place could make so many friends. Despite natural disasters, civil unrest, budget deficit, dysfunctional Congress and tension in foreign relations, he would not show it. Of course it affected him. But he would not show it. He wouldn't say a single word. His friends certainly didn't want to hear it-they lived just as much in this world as he did! So for that little while, before they age past him, he figures he can be a good friend and give them one hell of a time.
So it was a big mystery to the nosier nations how a guy like Ned could possibly be so fond of him. Ned, who was tall, stoic, and generally unpleasant.
Ned: that's what Alfred called him. Short for Nederlands. The name was quick and simple like the days that rushed by in Alfred's life. It was also affectionate, just the way Alfred likes it. It was funny to him-giving such a childish nick-name to such a serious nation like the Nederlands. Every time Alfred would call him that, he'd chuckle to himself before he could even finish a sentence.
It brought a smile to Ned's face.
There were honestly very few people who could get Ned to smile that way. That is, a genuinely amused grin. The smiles he offered to his sister were warm and loving, not like the sort of entertained grin that plastered his jaws at Alfred's foolishness. That's what Alfred did for him-amused him. Not necessarily the sort of condescending amusement like when that flea Antonio gets a black eye from his bratty boyfriend. Rather, it was sincere, true, one-hundred percent comedy, provided by his buddy Alfred. Not a lot of people could say, or even think to do that.
That's what Alfred gave him; an escape from the stern facade he put up each and every day. Alfred makes him hoot in laughter, raise his brow in amazement, pull the pipe from his lips in curious astonishment, or sometimes it falls out when Nederlands is choking to catch a breath. Alfred was able to yank Nederlands aside from his worries and get him to laugh, share sports news (even though they hardly understood each others' national sports), have a drink or two, and enjoy some honest, carefree company.
But it's not all fast and busy fun like it's being made out to be. Ned was able to do something for Alfred, too. Nederlands didn't need to go to the club or movies or the city to have a good time. They could sit on the sofa all day and that was perfect for Alfred. Alfred could laugh and joke like usual, perhaps have something to stuff his face while he sat himself down, feet reclined and shoulders back, just for a little bit. He didn't need to entertain, to impress, or to amuse. He could just cool down with a friend after a long week, and not overwhelm himself with things to do for once.
It was perfectly alright with Alfred to have some time to relax. He needed it-desperately at that. As much as he loved an uptempo, adventure-filled life, sometimes it was too much for him to handle. Alfred watched himself grow progressively more exhausted, especially when it was becoming nearly impossible to trudge out of bed to start another noisy day. Shower, put on clothes, go to work, see friends. That's all life really was on a daily basis. It was becoming more and more difficult to be the friendly guy, as his lack of rest started to nag at his mood. So when Nederlands came around and was willing to provide a place of rest, of course Alfred took up such an offer. It was the most pleasant thing for him to wake up and be well-rested for a few days of the month. Even better to wake up and see a good friend first thing in the morning.
Alfred couldn't tell what made Ned so charismatic, but it had something to do with his calm demeanor, his cool attitude, and confident decisions that helped Alfred to succumb to him every now and then. It was possibly how those green eyes watched him intently as his arousal was handled. Rough, intense, passionate-just the way Alfred liked it. Sex was just a casual thing to him, but there was something that kept him so attracted, and perhaps almost addicted to what Ned gave him.
Perhaps it was because Alfred loved fighting back as much as Ned did. He loved leaving scratches, bite marks and red skin on Ned's tight ass. Alfred loved his wide shoulders, his pert nipples, and the way his hands moved with so much casual ease from one place to the next. Alfred loved watching his muscles tense as he pushed back, his eyes glint with mischievously when he shoved Ned on the bed, couch, or chair, and began to fumble to get inside his pants.
Ned found himself quite attracted as well. How comfortable, how open, how willing Alfred was to engage, to fight back, to tease and taunt. It challenged him, but not so much to piss him off like most people had. The feisty retaliation was only enough to intrigue Ned to dominate more. He loved the battles of touching, kissing, biting, and licking to see who would end up on top that night. He loved to grab at Alfred's sculpted arms on moment, then that uncharacteristic soft stomach of his the next. He loved to bite at Alfred's neck, then go down to the collarbone, leaving small bruises as a trail of evidence.
Sex was always a casual thing for the two, so the both of them couldn't figure out exactly what it was that caused them to continue to come back to each other. Perhaps it was the ease, the comfort, the serenity they had when they were in each other's presence. Alfred enjoyed Ned's. Ned enjoyed Alfred's. The two looked forward to each other's company. Not just for sex, of course. Although it was a nice perk, it was still just a very casual, insignificant part of their friendship. They could fuck almost anyone without any sort of emotional attachment. They were simply friends, and that was all.
It certainly wasn't love. Alfred couldn't love a man. That, and Nederlands simply wasn't interested. Both realized, knew, and fully understood that they were nations. For nations, getting married caused international turmoil, for many complicated reasons that Alfred didn't yet understand, and perhaps never would. Nederlands had seen it happen, and didn't want to get involved with the political mess. So, they were left to be lonely, without the chance of a real relationship. In a way, Ned and Alfred needed each other not really as a way to escape their everyday rituals, but to have someone they could exert their wandering affections on. They were both in quite a tricky disposition, but neither of them minded. When it was so needed, they could simply grab at a beer or grab at each other.
That's all it was to them. It was just a pleasure that neither of them could find in anyone else. Alfred couldn't find that collected, attractive, powerful way of presence in anyone else. Ned couldn't find the rough sort of playfulness Alfred had in anyone else, either. There was no reason to search anywhere else when it was right in front of them. Neither of them wasted time on such a pointless effort. It was all right here, everything they needed, so every few weeks a friend could do nothing better than a simple favour. No strings attached.
At least, that's what was intended.
Alfred was young, and friendly, but as far as the other nations went, lonely. He could find a girl in no time, but he could never keep her for long. It was an implicit sort of rule that no nation should ever find a relationship in another human, and besides, he couldn't deal with not being able to keep one woman for life. There would be a day where she would mature past him, and he would never have grown up. He would have to explain to her what he truly was. Very few people have known what Alfred is-immortal, unless the people in or out his home destroyed him. The average woman couldn't understand that kind of existence.
That's what Alfred understood about them. He knew that people simply couldn't know or understand him in return. Alfred knows what it is like to not know who he is, fighting himself consistently for a contradicting opinion. Alfred knows what it is like to dominate world powers in battle. He knows what it is like to protect friends, as well as harm them until they could be friends no longer. He has felt the great wounds as his people destroyed each other, which in turn destroyed him. He knows what it is like to wake up with a gash in his chest one morning, and to be throwing up his economy the next.
Not any human could understand that.
Alfred knew that Ned could, though. Although Ned was lucky enough to have to suffer such rapid and radical changes in such few and tumulus teen years, he knows struggles unlike Alfred ever could imagine. Ned has fought in bloody battles over something like religion, not unlike the world today. He had been ruthlessly dominated by Catholics for their economic and political gain. He watched as his naive sister was betrayed by kings and leaders of her own and foreign nations. He watched as she was trampled and battered during the World Wars, when ruthless nations decided she was a perfect battlefield. He had fought for nations he owned and loved in lands across the seas, which he had never seen nor knew, back in the days when one had to actually look in the face of the enemy in order to kill him. It hardened Ned, but in a a way made him so soft to Alfred.
It was Ned's veiled, yet compassionate layer and subtle desire to watch over Alfred that made him, in a strange sort of way, confused and doubt his own affections. Alfred discovered that he was becoming increasingly interested in Ned. He was already attracted, at that point. But now there was a particular interest as an addition. Alfred would want to visit more often, see him more often, spend time with him more often. It was a strange, almost womanish desire to casually ease into Ned's life, until he was constantly with him.
And that's exactly what he attempted to do.
Ned didn't particularly notice at first. It was of no concern to him, no unusualness. People had come and go to see him: his sister, that God-forsaken Antonio, different diplomats, ambassadors and businessmen. Friends would occasionally stay, some more often than others. To him, Alfred was just in the more-often-than-others category. Sometimes he was there on the weekends, occasionally in the week. They would chat during the meetings, outings, and visits, and had sex more often than they probably should. It didn't bother Nederlands-Alfred was young and he supposed it made up for the somewhat infrequent copulating he had done since he became consumed in business. Seeing Alfred wasn't really a terrible thing to Ned. He would simply notice Alfred was around, and enjoy his presence while he was there.
It had really only dawned upon him that something was unusual when Alfred began to make even more excuses just to stay over. Ned had experienced this with other people in the past, but the naivety and slight blatancy Alfred presented himself with was more amusing than most. It became very obvious to Ned that Alfred lacked experience with men, and managed to figure out what Alfred was doing when he tricked Alfred into admitting he just wanted to be with him. Ned smirked when Alfred's face was filled with slight fear, and quite a bit of embarrassment.
The kid was adorable, that was for sure. But Ned couldn't decide what to do. As entertaining as he thought this could be, he didn't want to harm a young, foolish, and wonderful friend like Alfred. So he decided it was easiest to wait and hope that the infatuation was simply a muddled phase.
But instead, Alfred just became more infatuated. His heart would bubble when he visited. He would go out of his way to say something, anything to catch his attention and have a discussion, about the stupidest things even. He had even changed from a playful challenger to a an affectionate partner: something that caught Ned by surprise, although he didn't mind. Alfred's friends saw him less, and he was less willing to see them. He didn't particularly need them anymore, so long as he had Ned to be around.
Despite Alfred tried to hide it, Ned could see it. He'd be damned to say he could, so he just continued to try and let the phase dwindle despite the evidence that it could last. The passes, comments, and increasing need for attention didn't particularly bother Ned, but he wondered if he was leading Alfred on. Ned continued to do nothing, which allowed Alfred to do more. It was subtle, gradual, but very much obvious. Alfred was around more often, not needing something to do, but to be there with Ned. Alfred was hesitant to leave, and full of joy when he arrived. He demonstrated a constant kindness, an effort to impress and show he cared about Ned, as if he didn't know. Alfred simply wanted to make him happy.
It was hardly any surprise to Ned when Alfred admitted why he had been acting like this.
The rejection had devastated Alfred. But Ned simply wasn't interested. He admired the easy going nature of their friendship, but didn't want commitment. Saying no pained him, but not quite as much the hurt plastered on Alfred's face. It was never Ned's intention to harm Alfred, nor was it to get the relationship this far. Ned could only apologize, and brush his guilt off as his eyes looked past Alfred, at anything but Alfred; the confrontation was unbearable, and the air was growing intolerably intense. He had never wanted to crush a young, hopeful heart; especially not one as wonderful as Alfred's.
It was understandable how hurt, crushed, and disappointed Alfred was. Although he could change his face to a lighthearted, easygoing grin at one moment to avoid worrying Ned, it didn't last. Alfred had believed he had something. He could have something he loved without worrying about it going away. Ned wouldn't have had ages past him him. Ned made him happy, comfortable, and relieved. No one else gave him that. And so suddenly, it was gone, never able to be taken back. The comfort, ease, sex, laughing, jokes and time with him could still exist if he hadn't have opened his young, foolish mouth. For the first time in a very long time, Alfred felt the tingling loss of naivety as anger slithered in.
He went days, to weeks, to a couple of months without a word to Ned. Their passings in corridors and buildings were lopsided with a cold glare from the warm one, and a warm smile from the cold one. Not a word was spoken, with the exception of necessary exchange of words during meetings and conferences. Despite Alfred's Boss warned him of how relations could be affected, Alfred grinned and paid no mind. Perhaps it did mean that relations weren't of strong-of course, they weren't, but Alfred wasn't going to try and explain to his Boss. He wasn't going to explain to his friends why he wasn't cheerful as always, either, he just said he was having a rough time at work and needed some time alone. Maybe it would get him back to normal. Maybe that would get Ned back.
Alfred was missing everything. Every opportunity, every chance, every willing opening Ned gave to allow him in again. Ned missed Alfred just as much as Alfred missed Ned. He offered his hand occasionally, or tried to engage in conversation. It never worked. Each time he felt he was coming close, his efforts were ignored, or denied with a sarcastic sneer and a cold remark. Ned even did the unheard of himself, and publicly complimented Alfred. It was all to no avail. Every effort, every attempt, every pitiful denial worried Ned even more.
He was becoming desperate. There was nothing he could do. He had harmed his friend, and it appeared as if all was lost. So with each having given up, they grew apart. No words, no visits, no glances, absolutely nothing. Ned had accepted there was nothing he could do. Alfred accepted Ned would not be his, and he had to get over it. He was so young, so stupid he would tell himself over and over, as Ned was across the sea trying to figure out exactly where he had fucked up, and how he could fix it. There was not hate on either side, except for the ones that grew out of themselves.
So after a while of long, quiet melancholy, they got over it like men usually do. When they passed in meetings, there was no need to greet, and no awkwardness if they did. They could discuss during meetings and meet each other with their Bosses, and still have a pleasant time. It became easy to laugh at one another, to converse with one another. It became increasingly easy to enjoy one another's company, at least casually, but they didn't go out of their way to see each other.
It was only after a few too many drinks that they got thinking again.
A few too many drinks and a warm smile.
Alfred grinned back, eyes lit with drunken amusement. That was a think about Ned he admired-that warm smile. He continued to laugh, growing increasingly nervous. Ned began to laugh as well. It was that cheerful attitude of Alfred's he had cherished, wasn't it?
Alfred laughed once again, a little bit harder this time. Ned's grin widened in amusement. Each wondered what was going through the other's mind, but that didn't matter too much, because Ned was more concerned about getting Alfred home safe. Alfred was more than happy to have somewhere to stay, and obliged to Ned's hospitality.
Alfred lied on Ned's sofa, grinning cheekily at him as Ned chuckled somewhat deliriously. They bid each other a goodnight's rest, and Alfred tossed the covers over him.
Everything would work out, they supposed. Friends usually end up alright.
--