in honor of halloween, this week's quiz will be taken as a drunk guy who just broke up with his girlfriend and is dressed up as captain jack sparrow (2006's
most popular halloween costume) at a halloween party where he doesn't know anybody.
1. Taco Bell, Chipotle or Baja Fresh?
oh god i'm so drunk. remember that year i went as the taco bell dog? yo quiero more tequila.
2. Current Favorite song?
nobody knows, by the tony rich project
3. IM Screen name?
what? i'd never do online dating, that's for chumps. oh god, i saw my ex-girlfriend's myspace page. i can't belive she has so many friends. i need more rum.
4. Would you change your senior prom date if you had the chance?
no, but i would show up at her apartment complex in the middle of the night in my underpants singing "the power of love" and throwing rocks wrapped in love poems until she called the police and reinstated the restraining order. oh god why did i do that last week?
5. Skim or Whole Milk? ...
what's in a white russian? god i'd wish people would stop trying to take pictures with me. why did i dress up like a fucking pirate? why didn't i just stay at home and watch reruns of veronica mars?
6. Did you have chicken pox as a kid?
yeah, and i also want some more beer.
7. Price of gas you last paid for?
i don't know, my ex-girlfriend had my car impounded because i parked it behind hers and wouldn't move it. oh god.
8. Wild night of clubbing or hot movie date in front of the fire?
oh god, i'd take either. my friend said this party would cheer me up, but somebody stole my eye patch and another person spilled a sex on the beach in my dreadlock wig. oh god, why didn't i ever have sex on a beach with my ex-girlfriend?!
9. What's your highest bowling score?
one time, i went bowling with my ex-girlfriend and we got really drunk. oh god.
10. Ever signed onto Myspace and under New Cool People, seen someone you know?
oh god, my ex-girlfriend's myspace page said she's dating. *SOB* and she dressed up like elizabeth swann for halloween. OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE?!!
11. Have you ever had a red headed slut?
i'd take her back in an instant. oh god, the line for the bathroom is so long.
12. Worst police-related experience?
probably either the restraining order... or maybe the forcible removal from the premises... or maybe the weekend in jail. oh god.
13. Last concert and with whom?
oh god, i took my ex-girlfriend to see nelly furtado. oh god she was a maneater. oh god.
14. The movie you think everyone needs to see?
the story of us. *SOB*
15. The reason you're at your computer right now?
at a computer? i'm doing this all through my blackberry so people at this party will think i'm cool. OH GOD, some assclown dressed as dick tracy just puked on my pirate boot.
16. Would you track your kids with a microchip?
i tried to track my ex-girlfriend with a microchip. oh god i miss her.
17. Do you own a Nalgene bottle?
oh god i used to borrow her nalgene bottle.
18. Favorite sentimental song?
unbreak my heart, by toni braxton. oh god, i need some hennessey.
19. Favorite accent on someone of the opposite sex?
one that's forgiving.
20. Last time you used your car horn?
when i was honking out the rhythm to the spice girls' "2 become 1" for my ex-girlfriend.
21. Did you buy your computer from Dell?
oh god, she had a mac.
22. Scariest movies as a child?
fear. oh wait, i thought you said "favorite" movie.
23. Do you do your own laundry?
oh god. i would if she hadn't burned it all.
24. hip hop or rock?
oh god. country.
25. Your pick to win the World Series of 2007?
oh god, loneliness.
26. Your favorite soft drink?
this vodka is nice.
27. Shrimp or Steak?
oh god, we used to go to red lobster. oh god i want surf and turf.
28. Cubed ice or crushed ice?
my vodka could use more ice.
29. Favorite piece of clothing?
i really like my pirate hat. oh god! it's gone!! oh god! this was a rental!
30. Favorite 80s Group?
we used to listen to color me badd. oh god, i can't sex anyone up.
31. What are you looking forward to?
going home. or more kahlua.
32. Do you own a planner?
i did but i just wrote her name on all the pages and she used that against me in court, so i threw it away. oh god, i don't want to listen to "monster mash" again.
33. Gym buff, or do you think working out is over-rated.
oh god, i am so fat.
34. Which do you notice first (girls) chest or arms (guys)?
*SOB*
35. Can you dance?
i was supposed to take lessons with her, for our wedding.
36. Favorite brand of beer?
this popov brandy is okay.
37. Do you play the bounce in beer pong?
oh god, i played beer pong at the halloween party last year. and then when i lost i flipped the table over and peed on the wall. oh god, i wonder if any of the people here remember that.
39. Favorite McDonalds menu item?
oh god, we used to share the deluxe breakfast.
40. Walmart or Target?
i wish walmart would give me my job back.
41. Are there dirty dishes in the sink right now?
oh god i broke all the dishes when i threw them at her as she left.
42. Can you line dance?
i'd try cocaine.
43. Do you own a TI-83?
yes, but i had to give it to my attorney so he could calculate my litigation fees.
44. Most hated class in High School?
oh god, i met her in high school.
45. Ever got into a heated debate over religion?
no, but lots of people at this party are insisting i'm going to hell.
46. Elephant or Donkey?
what do pirates have? monkeys? parrots? oh god, i need some water. no, no, put some wine in that water you dumbfuck.
47. What time is it?
9:45 pm.
48. Elaborate why you have the song you do on your profile:
"all by myself" was too self explanatory, so i changed it to "achy breaky heart"
49. Favorite items of clothing on the opposite sex?
oh god, when she wore my walmart associate's greeter vest
50. Who do you feel sorry for?
the guy that came dressed as bill clinton.