Ok... So, I write poems..

[vampyregrrl]

I write poems, it's one of my many insane hobbies... (of which I have many), and I was wondering if you all could give me some feedback on my latest.


As the soft murmurs of my stilled heart beat
and the sweet, salty tears run down my cheek,
You stare.

Your eyes like two burning coals,
stare,
Angrily,
Mockingly,
Stare.

As my strangled inner screams heighten,
and my inner silence breaks,
You laugh.

Your laugh,
Cruel,
High-pitched,
Burns my soul.

As as I fall into the inevitable sadness,
You laugh,
and laugh,
and laugh.

Comments please?