FYI please, Joyce of N months later.
I have got a few thoughts about dreams and memories and nostalgia these days. OK honestly this is a post for records purpose, you can read it under the cut if you want to, i don't wanna destroy Friends' Pages.
There was this dream I had about 4 years ago to become an environmentalist. I was preparing hard for my O levels then, and at that time I was not thinking of whether to go to Junior College or a Polytechnic because I had no ambition. Or maybe at that time I wanted to be a teacher but gave up because I realise teachers these days no longer fret about dealing with children, but dealing with Parents. I was more interested in children.
I remember that exact Tuesday when I felt really heavy in my heart, when I saw people burning incense and Hell Notes to commemorate the start of the Hungry Ghosts Festival on the way to maths tuition. I saw the smoke floating up into the sky and I was thinking of the carbon dioxide emitted and the possible Global Warming. And then my thoughts went on to the icebergs, the penguins, the low-lying countries, whether my country is going to sink.........
I think that decision became really serious the next week and then it really became an ambition. And I followed it. I enrolled into Environmental and Water Tech.
And then I started to study this field in detail, chemically, physically and biologically. And then failed and picked myself up again and failed AGAIN and picked myself up.
And then finally I graduated, all motivated to make a difference somewhere. Then got rejected here and there in job applications... Until I got this current job. In the correct company, wrong department. So now I'm still in the process of planning. Not good to disclose too much, but I am planning to do something to it. I really hope something good, and relevant to my ambition comes around.
And I have so much to say about these days.
I was never academically blessed at all since young, nor was I good at making and keeping friends. I kept making new friends and losing them. Maybe because I wasn't cool enough. I don't use vulgar language. I go home straight after school. I keep my uniform tucked in, my socks were always above my ankle.
The new friends I made were outcasts too. But we never worked the friendship out, so we all lost contact with each other after graduation.
Of course there were people who I kept in contact with. I recently found a friend via Facebook. Okay actually we had each other on FB for quite a while, just that we started talking after he commented on one of my statuses. We added each other on MSN and these days all we talk about is how we used to be, what happened to the other people in class, what we're into these days (JDramas YAY).
There's a gathering on the way. Imagine seeing people I haven't met in 6 years (some 8 years)! :D
Anyways. I really like to think about the past and from it find elements which made me who I am now, who is experiencing stuff as well, to become the me in future. I believe there is a reason behind all the changes in me. If I can't find any, it's simply just God who's doing something.
Suddenly I'm thinking of so many things because I'm now at a forked road. There is a job-related decision I need to make. I'm thinking of many possibilities and if it leads to what I really wanna do.
But now i'm reading what i have typed and i don't think it links to why I'm typing. I make no sense again. i fail. :[
There was this dream I had about 4 years ago to become an environmentalist. I was preparing hard for my O levels then, and at that time I was not thinking of whether to go to Junior College or a Polytechnic because I had no ambition. Or maybe at that time I wanted to be a teacher but gave up because I realise teachers these days no longer fret about dealing with children, but dealing with Parents. I was more interested in children.
I remember that exact Tuesday when I felt really heavy in my heart, when I saw people burning incense and Hell Notes to commemorate the start of the Hungry Ghosts Festival on the way to maths tuition. I saw the smoke floating up into the sky and I was thinking of the carbon dioxide emitted and the possible Global Warming. And then my thoughts went on to the icebergs, the penguins, the low-lying countries, whether my country is going to sink.........
I think that decision became really serious the next week and then it really became an ambition. And I followed it. I enrolled into Environmental and Water Tech.
And then I started to study this field in detail, chemically, physically and biologically. And then failed and picked myself up again and failed AGAIN and picked myself up.
And then finally I graduated, all motivated to make a difference somewhere. Then got rejected here and there in job applications... Until I got this current job. In the correct company, wrong department. So now I'm still in the process of planning. Not good to disclose too much, but I am planning to do something to it. I really hope something good, and relevant to my ambition comes around.
And I have so much to say about these days.
I was never academically blessed at all since young, nor was I good at making and keeping friends. I kept making new friends and losing them. Maybe because I wasn't cool enough. I don't use vulgar language. I go home straight after school. I keep my uniform tucked in, my socks were always above my ankle.
The new friends I made were outcasts too. But we never worked the friendship out, so we all lost contact with each other after graduation.
Of course there were people who I kept in contact with. I recently found a friend via Facebook. Okay actually we had each other on FB for quite a while, just that we started talking after he commented on one of my statuses. We added each other on MSN and these days all we talk about is how we used to be, what happened to the other people in class, what we're into these days (JDramas YAY).
There's a gathering on the way. Imagine seeing people I haven't met in 6 years (some 8 years)! :D
Anyways. I really like to think about the past and from it find elements which made me who I am now, who is experiencing stuff as well, to become the me in future. I believe there is a reason behind all the changes in me. If I can't find any, it's simply just God who's doing something.
Suddenly I'm thinking of so many things because I'm now at a forked road. There is a job-related decision I need to make. I'm thinking of many possibilities and if it leads to what I really wanna do.
But now i'm reading what i have typed and i don't think it links to why I'm typing. I make no sense again. i fail. :[