[Fic] Destined Idiots [1/1]
Whenever Yunho thinks about Jaejoong nowadays, he gets depressed. So to make life more tolerable, he just doesn't think about Jaejoong. However, there are times when it's impossible to ignore the existence of his former love (former lover, not former love, Yunho still loves him).
Whenever fangirls yell out 'YunJae' or carry around light panels with their names next to each other, Yunho thinks about Jaejoong, pushes the thought away and returns to it when they get off work. When he thinks about it, he gets depressed. Absurdly depressed.
Please understand, Jaejoong hadn't only been his lover. Even before that, Jaejoong had been Yunho's emotional and psychological support. Whenever Yunho felt like toppling over, he knew Jaejoong would hold him up. Not take over, no, Jaejoong had more tact than that (now Changmin would just take over because the maknae knew his hyungs couldn't do anything against him). Yet, Jaejoong was not by his side. It was hard to think Jaejoong will ever be by his side again when the misunderstandings and emotions ran high and out of control.
"Hey Changmin-ah?" Yunho asks one day out of the blue.
"Hm?" Changmin hums to show he was listening, but his fingers continued to tap at his cellphone.
"Want to go out with me?" Yunho asks. The leader scoots in and begins tugging at Changmin's cellphone, wanting the younger man's full attention.
"Sure, where?" Changmin responds still rather distracted. It wasn't until his phone was slipping through his fingers did Changmin click his tongue at Yunho in annoyance. "I'm listening! Where do you want to go?"
"No, no, no!" Yunho sighs in exasperation. "Do you want to go out with me?"
"I already said ye-" Changmin stops mid sentence and stares for a very long moment. Unable to figure out what was going on in his hyung's mind, Changmin asks slowly like a teacher talking to a elementary schooler, "When you said 'go out' did you mean leave the house or are you asking me whether I'd like to date you?"
"Date me, of course," Yunho says as though he hadn't spent the last three years pining for an absent lover. "I like you, Changmin."
Changmin swallowed nervously, heart aflutter, and asked, "What brought this about?"
"Jaejoongie and I finally decided to date after seeing so much support from YunJae fans," Yunho says. He's expression is cutely serious as though he's spent a lot of time thinking about this and unsurprisingly, the leader has. "Sure we liked each other before, but we had been scared to continue that."
"So when YunJae fangirls proliferated, you two decided 'hey why not, they seem to like it'?" Changmin asks in disbelief. Well, this side of the story was definitely different from Jaejoong's gushing about love at first sight and the romantic confession.
"Even if we were discovered, at the worst, we'd still have fans, right?" Yunho shrugs. "Neither of us were going to lose our jobs to date."
"Bullshit," Changmin scowls. "Jung Yunho, are you asking me to believe that you and Jaejoong-hyung got together because of convenience?"
"But it was," Yunho insisted. "We liked each other, we saw each other often, we were well liked as a 'couple' and, well, it wasn't like we could actually maintain a relationship outside the little bubble we were always in."
"So now you're asking me to date you because now I'm convenient and we have Homin shippers," Changmin summarized with barely contained fury.
"…I didn't mean for it to come out that way," Yunho said gently, realizing his folly.
"Then how did you mean it?"
"I-" Yunho was taken aback. He hadn't expected the younger man to be so angry. Even when he and Jaejoong had been together, everyone even Junsu knew Changmin's feelings for the leader ran a little deeper than pure admiration. Yunho merely thought it was a natural progression. It had started like this for him and Jaejoong too.
"You wanted a rebound relationship? Someone to fill that gap in your heart? Some who will accept you? Someone to stand by?" Changmin asked in rapid succession. He was pissed off and he wanted his hyung to know. "Maybe when you truly mean it, hyung."
"But I do," Yunho tries but Changmin cuts the older man off again.
"Tell me that you don't love him anymore," Changmin demands. "Tell me that you'd put down the past for our future and look me in the eye."
Yunho looks up to meet Changmin's intense gaze and looks down immediately. He opens his mouth for words for form but they all seemed to stop at 'Jaejoong'. His eyes slowly moistened. It's been three years and he still couldn't do it.
In his mind, he chanted 'I don't love him, I don't love him, I don't love Jaejoong anymore' but saying it seemed so much more real. Saying it meant he was letting go of something so precious that he thought would last forever. He had readied his heart to let go, to move on, but even with all the preparations complete and flawless, he couldn't actually let go.
Yunho was so caught up in thought he didn't realize the movement in front of his eyes until his lips touched something soft. The maknae was far too close and eyelashes way too visible. The kiss was tentative, hesitant, but sweet.
Ah, Yunho thought, closing his eyes. This is how it started with me and Jaejoong. Jaejoong made the first move too.
And the moment he finishes the thought, he remembers the feeling of Jaejoong's lips (a touch he thought he long forgot). Jaejoong's kisses were sweet but never hesitant. Even their first kiss was assertive, confident and completely inexperienced. Suddenly, he remembers a thousand things and nothing at all-the shape of Jaejoong's shadow, the curve of his back, the ticklish spot behind his ear, the--I love you, Yunho-ah. Most of all, he remembers the slight stickiness of Jaejoong's lip balm because "I don't want you to feel my chapped lips" and the embarrassed laughter that came with it.
Instinctively, Yunho jerks back from the kiss and stares at Changmin with wild eyes. His heart is racing and not for the right reasons or for the right person. His hands tremble and Yunho combs through his hair to hid them. As his breathing starts to even out, Yunho sneaks a glance at his younger partner but Yunho couldn't take his eyes off Changmin's expression.
Changmin had the most heartbroken look Yunho has ever seen (and Yunho used to stare in the mirror while drinking and thinking of Jaejoong and wondering why).
"That was my confession," Changmin said softly. "Me asking, do you want to be with me?"
"Changmi-"
"And that had been your answer," Changmin says, closing those red eyes. "As it shall always be."
Yunho doesn't know what to say in response because his heart cried out always! always!
"Please don't degrade what you and Jaejoong-hyung had to a relationship of mere convenience," Changmin said, his voice scratchy and rough, but no tears. "You two are idiots but idiots in love."
"You don't know that," Yunho says gently, praying Changmin will prove him wrong. "You don't know whether Jaejoong still loves me."
Changmin snorts unattractively, "No, I don't but apparently the rest of the world is absolutely convinced."
"Just YunJae fans," Yunho protests.
"And who ships YunJae harder than Jaejoong-hyung?" Changmin asks.
Maybe me, Yunho thinks but doesn't say.
Changmin smiles. His hyung was like an open book, stupid, loyal and absolutely in love. And he, Shim Changmin, loved his hyung for all of the above. He'll support Yunho in his time of depression, time of need, time of weakness, time of boredom, time without Jaejoong because he cares.
This is where Changmin draws the line. Yunho is the stupid one not Changmin. Changmin knows Jaejoong bound Yunho to him forever even though Yunho, the bounded, seemed to have difficulty realizing the red threads that tied him to Jaejoong. But at the same time, he knows Yunho has tied Jaejoong to him as well.
They were a pair of destined idiots.
Changmin knows but Yunho won't. Not until this stupid drama ends and the stupid couple finally talk to each other. Then they'll realize that both of them had been utter fools and thank Changmin for seeing it before they did.
Well, they might want to thank Yoochun while at it. After all, who else would Changmin get updates about the other idiot from?
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A/N: I'm sorry Changmin. Maybe one day I'll actually write Homin (though I seem to like Changmin as the top...) but for now YunJae all the waaay : )
I have several stories lined up for this weekend as I'm wrapping up a LOT of writing. So for now, enjoy my 3am short~